


Nights Are Getting Colder

by Selenai



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Awkward Flirting, Blowjobs, Fingering, Happy Endings For Everyone, Hooker AU, M/M, Nighttime Confessions, Pittsburgh Penguins, Smut, boys who fail at feelings, even more awkward dating, handjobs, this got out of hand
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-12
Updated: 2013-12-09
Packaged: 2018-01-01 06:14:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 100,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1041326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Selenai/pseuds/Selenai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sidney Crosby wasn't a hooker because he needed to be, he was a hooker because he was good at sex and he enjoyed doing things that he was good at.  Geno was just looking for an outlet for his extra energy, and James Neal had no idea what he was getting himself into.</p><p>Hooker AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Since this is my second RPF fic, I don't have any excuses for how this came into existence except I watched a movie about a hooker and suddenly really wanted to write fic about one. It was pretty much my excuse to write a ton of smut, too, whoops.
> 
> This became a beast of a fic and I'm still working on it. Not beta'd because my regular beta is too bogged down with schoolwork to be bogged down with hooker fic, so I own any and all mistakes myself. Also a warning that timelines are extremely screwy in this, since I had to take Sid out and then work everything around where he'd have been.
> 
> This fic obviously focuses on Sidney as a prostitute, but it's a very romanticized view of prostitution not meant to be viewed as real life at all. Sid's views in this are not my own.
> 
> Title comes from Adam Lambert's "Outlaws of Love" which I pretty much listened to on repeat the whole time I was writing this.

He hadn’t become a hooker because he was broke and living on the streets, or because he had no other choice or any other career option with what to do for the rest of his life. Sidney had become a hooker because he was really good at sex, and someone had once told him it was a shame that he wasn’t taking better advantage of the mouth and the ass that the universe had seen to grace him with, and he’d realized that they were _right_ , and it didn’t make sense not to do what he was good at. He was given a set of talents, so why not make the best of them? Besides, it wasn’t like he didn’t like it enough. 

Now don’t get him wrong, Sidney wasn’t the type of hooker that stood on the street corner waiting for a john to stop and ask him how much the charge was for a date with him. He was a little higher class than that—it came with the fact that he didn’t _need_ to be hooking in order to make his rent and to make his grocery orders every month and to live as comfortably as possible. In fact, during the day he kept up a steady nine to five job to keep the IRS off his trail. He had to make sure he was paying some taxes or people would come asking questions that he wouldn’t be able to answer. Even if his nine to five was just selling gym memberships at the gym a few blocks away from his house.

But that, obviously, wasn’t the most interesting part of his life. More interesting about him was the life he kept in the after dark hours, taking clients by referral only, and only the ones that could afford the price he firmly insists on. It means that he’s not usually paired up with the most attractive of men, but that’s not really why he’s in this business, it’s not really about his pleasure, anyways. Not unless that was what his client was paying for, anyways. He can always perform if that’s what he’s being asked to do. He’s the best, after all. That’s what he strives to be. The best in everything he does.

Sidney’s heard that his clients rather like the boy-next-door look that he has, so even though he always dresses appropriately for his dates, he never dresses up too much, styling his hair the same way each time (gelled back loosely), and always knocks with the same grin plastered on his face, ready for them. He follows the same routine every time, with every client, always meeting in the same hotels and the same rooms if he can help it. It helps him keep things settled if he can maintain a good routine. Drinking the same drinks every time, always waiting about the same amount of time before making the first move towards his client. 

He maintains about ten clients at any given time, but doesn’t notice much turn around in his schedule. They always seem satisfied with his services, so why would they go anywhere else? He doesn’t usually take on any additional clients, either, he finds that it can get too tiring to stretch himself too thin over too many clients, but on occasion, he’ll take on an extra client as a favour to the man who brought him in and got him his clients in the first place. After all, he owes Mario big time, and if the older man thinks that there’s potential for a great client relationship, well, he’s never been wrong so far, and Sidney can hardly afford to start doubting him now. His life is just starting to get comfortable.

It’s only because of Mario’s latest suggestion that he’s following the GPS directions in his car to a hotel that’s different to the one that he usually frequents, on his way to meet a new client. Mario had said that this was a new guy to the whole idea of prostitution, and Sidney wasn’t sure how Mario knew that or how he always got people to admit things like that to him, but that was Mario’s thing. People trusted him with their secrets. Sidney always had, and he’d never been wrong in doing that, either. He just hoped that this slight bump in his routine wouldn’t end up messing up the rest of his week. He had a regular tomorrow that was just as used to the routine as he was.

It didn’t really take him that long to find the hotel (and it was a nice place, which was a little bit of a relief, sometimes he didn’t know what to expect with places that he wasn’t used to), and parking wasn’t that hard to navigate. He glanced down at the paper he’d written the information on as he pulled his scarf a little tighter around his neck. Pittsburgh even at the very beginning of winter was a little unkind to him, and being from Canada didn’t make him impervious to the cold. The note he’d written just said: _Geno, Room 371_. He should have asked for more details, but he’d been in a bit of a rush to get out the door and get to his nine to five, and Mario hadn’t really offered. Sidney was sure that Mario had told the client already how much a night cost, anyways. He was good at things like that. The business side of things. Sid was pretty sure that Mario had done all of this before, the hooking side of things, but he’d always been too polite to actually ask him. He was pretty sure that it would be an extremely awkward conversation.

Standing at the door marked 371, he drew in a deep breath, patted down his hair a little, and straightened his shirt. Best to make the most of his first impression. You only get one chance. He lifted his hand and knocked firmly, his shoulders straight and chin lifted. Just because he was a hooker didn’t mean that he had to act like anyone’s submissive lapdog. Not unless that’s what he learned this client wanted. But there was time to learn things like that, still.

He wasn’t really expecting the man who answered the door to be so tall. Or to be so young. To be honest, most of his clients were on the older side of things, and tended to be short and, well, the sort of men who would have a bit more trouble finding dates on their own. Or who clearly couldn’t be bothered to spend the time it would take to go out and find someone to spend their time with. This guy—he clearly couldn’t have that much trouble finding someone.

There was also something almost disturbingly familiar about him that Sidney couldn’t quite place, and that was bothering him. Had he seen him somewhere before? He definitely had, but he just wasn’t sure where.

“Come in,” the client, _Geno_ , Sid reminded himself, said in a heavily accented voice. Even his voice sounded somewhat familiar. Not like he’d spoken to him before, but like he’d definitely heard his voice. But it would be rude to ask him if they’d met before, and if nothing else, Sid was extremely conscious of not being rude. 

“Thank-you,” he said slowly, stepping inside and turning as Geno closed the door behind him. 

“Money now or after?”

Sid is caught a little off guard by the sudden question, but when he looks up at his client’s face, it’s a little red, and it’s clear that he’s floundering a little. Mario was right; it’s pretty obvious that Geno has never done anything like this before. It’s fine, though, Sidney is pretty used to being set up with clients who are not used to this whole situation. He’s a professional, after all.

“After is fine. Your name is Geno, right? I’m Patrick.”

He never gives his real first name. That was the first lesion Mario had taught him after a fairly disastrous first time where he’d wound up nearly stalked by his very first client. His middle name worked just as well for situations like this.

Geno shifted from foot to foot, looking increasingly uncomfortable. Sidney was a little worried for a minute that the other man was going to change his mind and ask him to leave, and that would just be a waste of a night for him. He definitely didn’t want that. He just had to ease him into the situation.

“Do you have something to drink?”

He didn’t normally drink with his clients, but he figured he could always have water while Geno had something a little stiffer.

Geno just nodded a little, looking a little relieved as he stepped around Sidney easily and walked into the main part of the hotel room. Sidney slipped off his shoes, jacket, and scarf before following him. By the time he reached him, Geno was already pouring what looked like vodka into a glass and glancing back up at him with wide eyes.

Where had he seen him before?

“You want one?”

“No, I’ll just have a bottle of water if you have any.”

That got him a weird look in response, but a little shuffling and Geno came back with a sealed bottle of water and Sidney opened it, taking a long sip from it as Geno took a long gulp out of his own glass. Clearly he was still more uncomfortable than Sidney had thought. 

As they stood in silence, both drinking from their respective drinks, Sidney took the chance to appreciate the view that was Geno. He was clearly more well-proportioned that most of the guys that Sid had been with in a long time. He had really great arms and even though the jeans he was wearing, Sid could tell that he had thick, muscled thighs. Clearly a guy who worked out and took care of his body. Clearly Sid’s kind of guy.

Not that Sid had a type. Sid hadn’t had a type since he started hooking. Not for years and years. It was too complicated.

It meant that tonight might be more enjoyable for him, though. He might be able to really grab hold and take some true pleasure out of this guy’s body.

“Now would be a good time to tell you the rules, I guess,” Sid began when Geno was pouring his second glass of vodka. Geno just looked at him over the glass, his expression a little wary, though he was clearly paying attention. “Kissing is all right, but no marking or bruising. That includes biting. I don’t do bathroom play, and if you want to tie me up or do any of the rough stuff, well, that’s extra and has to be negotiated before it happens. I don’t really like to be surprised in the middle of sex.”

He keeps his voice as businesslike as possible, despite the fact that Geno’s face is getting redder and redder as he speaks. He’s guessing that people don’t usually talk to him so frankly about sex, or at least about the sex that they’re about to have with him.

“In fact, if you just want to tell me what you want me to do to you before we start, that’s usually the best, that way I can make sure you’re satisfied.”

Geno opens his mouth like he’s about to speak before he just licks his lips and takes a long gulp of his vodka, downing it in one go.

Sid’s patient, though, he can wait until Geno’s voice is working again. He just hopes that the other man understood everything that he’d said to him. His accent had been pretty strong but his English had been fairly good.

Finally, though, it seems like Geno’s caught his voice back.

“Your mouth. I want you to blow me.”

Sid nods, and licks his lips a little for effect. That’s not really a surprise. Most of the clients he meets for the first time are pretty enamoured with his mouth. He doesn’t really blame them, he’d always thought that he’d been lucky to have a mouth like his if he were going to choose a career like this. 

“Of course. Do you want to sit on the bed and take off your pants?”

Geno looks a little lost for a minute before he nods and moves to follow Sid’s directions. His footsteps are a little jerky, but Sid is pleased when he sees him reach down to undo his belt, dropping it onto the floor before unbuttoning and unzipping his pants, shoving them down past his knees. He’s wearing tight black boxer briefs, and Sid can see that he’s already a little hard in them. Good, that’ll make this whole thing a little easier for him.

He reaches up and begins unbuttoning his own shirt, untucking it from his pants and carefully laying it over the back of a chair. He doesn’t want it to get wrinkled and he knows that more often than not, blowing a guy can get pretty messy. He doesn’t want to leave the hotel actually _looking_ like he blew a guy, and he definitely doesn’t want to ruin one of his nicer shirts.

Geno’s gaze is following him, which works well for him. It feels his ego fairly well, too. He works hard on his body, eats well and takes good care of himself. It pays off nicely when clients pay attention to his body when they’re together. He likes the attention.

Sidney makes his way to the bed, licking at his lips again. Geno is sitting on the edge of the bed wearing just a button down shirt and his boxer briefs with his legs spread open just a little bit, his head tilted back to look up at Sidney with his lips parted just a little and his cheeks flushed a bit in embarrassment or anticipation, he can’t tell which one, and he looks really fucking good. Sidney would be lying to himself if he said that he wasn’t at least a little looking forward to blowing him. Usually it was very procedural, but when you had a client who looked like that when you were only going to be blowing them, well, that’s a whole different story. Geno was looking at Sidney like he was about to offer him the whole world on a silver platter.

Lowering himself down to his knees, Sidney positioned himself as comfortably as possible and glanced up at Geno through thick eyelashes before leaning forward and brushing his cheek against the inside of the other man’s thigh, enjoying the sharp inhale of breath that came from above him. Clearly it was going to be very easy to please his client today, and that was both pleasing to him and a disappointment because he had been looking forward to taking his time blowing this man.

He takes a deep breath before tilting his head and pressing his face closer, nosing lightly at the growing hardness that is the outline of Geno’s cock through his underwear, pleased to find that he’s getting harder the more that Sidney touches him. It’s always good to know that you’re desired, even when you’ve done it as much as Sidney has.

Sidney mouths at the line of Geno’s cock, making the fabric of his boxer briefs a little wet with his saliva as he moves his head up and down slowly, enjoying the way that the other man’s legs twitch just a little when his lips brush just lightly at his balls every time he gets just a little bit lower. 

It’s not until Geno’s cock is straining against the material of the boxer briefs and there’s a little patch of wetness that has nothing to do with Sidney’s mouth that Sid finally pulls back a little, tugging with his hands until Geno lift his hips just enough that Sidney can pull the underwear down and off of the other man with little fuss. Practice does make perfect after all.

Once his client’s cock is bare, Sidney glances up to see Geno looking back down at him, and offers him a half grin, reaching to wrap his fingers around the other man’s cock, stroking him a couple of times, enjoying the way his hand slides easily up and down the hard, smooth skin. His thumb circles the tip, spreading the wetness there over the head of it. Geno lets out a sound at that, his hips rocking a little and Sid leans in, sliding his tongue along the head slowly before closing his lips around the head and sucking lightly.

Geno lets out another sound and Sidney feels his hips shift against under him, and he reached out with his hands to hold them still. He’s never been a big fan of having anyone try to choke him with their cock.

Carefully and slowly, he takes in more of the length of Geno’s cock, flattening his tongue along the vein on the underside as he does so. His free hand is wrapped around the base of it, stroking him in a slow leisure pace as he sucks him, and there’s nothing hurried in his movements. He can’t tell if there’s anything frustrating about it for Geno, but he can tell that he likes it. He can feel the way the cock in his mouth throbs evenly with what must be Geno’s pulse, quick and a little uneven, and he grins a little around his mouthful. 

He’s always been good at this. The best. But he can still make himself be better.

He pulls back a little before shifting his weight on his knees so that he can take more of Geno into his mouth, sucking him a little harder and moving his hand a little faster, twisting his wrist with each upward movement. It is getting a little messier and he can feel his hand getting wet with the saliva that’s dripping from where his mouth meets his hand on every upward stroke.

One of Geno’s hands comes up to rest in his hair then, and he tenses in momentary surprise before he relaxes his muscles by force and makes a small sound of support around the cock in his mouth which just seems to spur Geno on as he makes another louder sound above Sidney, his fingers tangling deeper in Sidney’s hair, separating the gelled strands of hair and tugging just a little.

“Patrick—“

Sidney takes that for the sign that it probably is, and pulls back just a little, his lips sliding off of the other man’s cock to mouth at his balls for a second before pulling the rest of the way back as he strokes him hard and fast, twisting his wrist with each movement, intent on bringing him off. Geno’s legs are twitching a lot now, and Sidney takes that to mean that he’s close as he leans in but keeps his head pulled back enough that there’s no way that any come will end up on his face or in his hair. He doesn’t want to try getting it out of his hair, that’s a whole pain in the ass he can do without. He’s been there and done that more than once, and he has no plan to ever do that again. As for his face—well, he just has no desire to ever have come in his eyes ever again.

It doesn’t take Geno more than a few easy strokes of Sidney’s hand before he’s coming though, spilling hot and sticky over Sid’s hand, just a little landing over his chest where he’s still pressed close to him. He’s infinitely glad he took his shirt off, lessons of the trade.

Once he’s sure that Geno’s finished and he’s stroked him until his legs are pulling together in from being overstimulated, Sid pulls away and heads towards the washroom to wash up a little. It doesn’t seem like a good time to say anything, or like there’s anything to really say. Geno seems more like the strong, silent type anyways. He’s barely said a few words to Sidney since he showed up, and that’s only a little unusual. He doesn’t mind, but he figures that he ought to take the hint from the other man and follow his lead. 

Washing up only takes a few minutes. He just has to wash his hands and wipe down his chest before he’s headed out to the bedroom again, reaching for his shirt to pull it back on and button it back up. Geno has pulled his boxer briefs back on but hasn’t bothered with his pants. He looks good sitting on the bed with his legs still spread open a little and his expression still a little well-fucked. Sidney always takes pleasure leaving his clients with that look on their faces. It’s one of the best parts of his job, to be honest.

“I’m guessing you’re satisfied with that?”

Geno flushes darkly but nods, shifting on the bed to reach into the drawer beside the bed. “I give you the money now, yes?”

Sidney nods, because he hasn’t forgotten about that. He was getting around to that, even if he was still basking a little in the aftermath of having brought the other man off so completely himself. He shouldn’t be so distracted just because his new client is attractive and has a strangely appealing and quiet sort of personality.

It’s a nice difference from what he’s used to, but Sidney thinks he could get used to it.

“Here, Mario said this would be enough?”

Sidney takes the envelope, surprised to find that it’s all in cash. He usually gets paid in cheques, so it’s a little bit strange for him. He feels a little guilty, but he has to stop looking at Geno to finger through the envelope, counting the money. He needs to be sure. It’s the right amount, though, but he’s still not sure why he’s being paid in cash. The only people he’s ever heard of paying in cash are high profile clients who have something big to lose if they get caught with hookers like him.

That’s when it hits him.

He definitely knows this guy. High profile client with an athletic build, heavy accent, someone that Sidney had definitely seen before?

It’s like all the pieces click together and Sidney has to fight not to have the realization show on his face.

This guy is one of the Penguins.

If there’s one thing that had been as important to Sidney as his career in recent years, it had been hockey. Sid loved all sports, but hockey had been the most important of them all. He’d nearly become a hockey player until a series of concussions in Junior had ended that chance for him, making it clear that that career choice would be too dangerous and leading the path for this career. He couldn’t separate himself completely from the sport, even now, and he was surprised that it had taken him until now to realize where he’d recognized his newest client from.

Geno was Evgeni Malkin. One of the star players for the Pittsburgh Penguins. No wonder he’d seemed completely new to this whole thing.

“Can I see you again?”

It took Sidney a minute to realize that Geno was talking to him, and he had to bite back any response that wasn’t a professional one. He still had to remember that this was his job, he couldn’t just ask for an autograph or act like he had just blown an NHL star (even if he had) for the first time, or act like he was at all star struck. This was his job.

“Yes, of course. If you want, I’ll leave you a card and you can call or text to set up another appointment.”

He was actually kind of surprised that Geno hadn’t had him sign an NDA or something before they’d done this in the first place, but then he guessed that maybe the other man had thought that he might just not recognize him or maybe he just hadn’t thought of it. He wondered if Mario knew. Of course Mario knew. That was probably why Mario had set him up with Geno in the first place, he knew how Sid felt about hockey.

“Okay, will probably want to set up another appointment in a week. Have a game on Thursday but Friday?”

Clearly Geno was making no move to hide who he was, and it was catching Sidney a little off guard. He wasn’t sure how to react, and he didn’t like that. Didn’t like not knowing how to react.

“Friday night? That should be fine.” He didn’t have a client on Friday nights, he usually kept that night free for himself, but he figured that if it was for Evgeni Malkin, who was he to say no?

What was this going to do to his routine?

Sidney left pretty quickly after that, tying his scarf tightly around his neck and zipping his jacket all the way up. The drive home felt like it took less time than usual, and when he’s getting ready for bed, he’s sure that he could still taste Geno in his mouth, even though he’d brushed his teeth just as thoroughly as he did every night. He wondered if it had to do with the fact that he couldn’t stop thinking about him. He wondered if it had to do with the way he’d looked and the way he’d tasted and the fact that he’d actually been different than most of the men that Sidney had worked to please before him, or if it had just been the simple fact that he’d been _Evgeni Malkin_?

But then he’d felt that weird attraction to him before he’d known who he was, too, and so that had to mean something.

Damnit, he wasn’t going to let himself think about this too much, because he’d been doing this for years and he’d never let himself obsess about a client before. This was his _job_. A career choice, and he’d fought for a long time to prove that it wasn’t all about the sex, this was about the business, too. Not everyone had to involve any kind of emotional attachment to the people they were screwing. In Sid’s case, he hadn’t had any kind of attachment to anyone that he’d slept with since he’d first started hooking.

He couldn’t remember the last time he’d slept with someone that wasn’t paying him for it, and he didn’t have any problem with that. Sex just wasn’t something that appealed to him that much anymore. It was his job, not his pleasure. His hand did him just fine when he got that urge to come, and sometimes his clients wanted him to comes with them, too, so it wasn’t like he was truly without ever having an orgasm. 

So why couldn’t he stop thinking about Geno? All he’d done was blow the other man. That was probably all he was going to do the next time he saw him, too, but still he found himself getting a little uncomfortably hot and hard thinking about maybe getting fucked by the other man, or if maybe Geno would want Sid to fuck him.

This was going to be a problem, he could already tell.

Sid made an exasperated sound and slipped his hands into his boxers, wrapping his fingers around his cock and stroking it slowly. He had rules about this. Firm rules about not thinking about his clients while he got off. He’d never even come close to breaking those rules before, because none of them had even remotely appealed to him, but here he was, determined to not think about Geno as he slid his thumb over the head of his cock and twisted his wrist, stroking faster.

Geno had liked it. Geno had _obviously_ liked the way he’d gotten him off. It had barely taken him any time at all to get the other man to come. He was obviously good at his job, but there was still some pride that came with being able to get someone off with that kind of ease.

Just like it took hardly any time at all before Sid came hard over his own hand, swearing that he could taste Geno in his mouth as he bit down hard on his bottom lip. 

That went against his routine, too, as he scowled up at his ceiling and pulled his hand out of his boxers, reaching over for a tissue to clean his hand with. He hated going against routine and he’d done it more times tonight than he’d done it in the last few months. There was obviously something wrong with that.

Sleep was easier to find that night than it had been in a while, but Sid assumes that it’s just because he’d worked a little later than usual at his nine to five before heading to Geno’s, and not because he’d switched up his routine at all. Admitting that would be admitting that it’s all right to switch things up and he’s nowhere ready for anything like that.


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I should be thanking Starbucks for always having empty seats for me to sit at for hours and for being the only place that I seem to be able to sit at and write endless amounts of shameless porn. Getting most of the smut out in the early chapters because the plot is coming soon!
> 
> Still unbeta'd so mistakes are owned by me!

The rest of the week went according to Sid’s plan exactly, not deviating at all. Sid’s relieved when he goes to each of his appointments and finds each of his clients exactly the way they’re supposed to be. Waiting for him, eager for him, and easy to please. His nine to five is nothing special, either, a few offers to work extra shifts, but he’s not really interested in that. He enjoyed the job because it gave him access to the gym whenever he needed it, and he really enjoyed that, but it was not his main focus, so as long as he’s working enough to make it look like he’s getting enough income to live, there’s no reason to pick up any extra shifts. He’s happy enough.

There’s a strange hum of anticipation when Friday rolls around. Of course he’d watched the game on Thursday, had watched the Penguins play a solid game against a lacking Columbus team. He’d had a hard time keeping his eyes off of Geno, had a hard time not thinking to himself that he’d had his lips wrapped around that guy’s cock not even a week ago. It made sitting in front of his television watching hockey a little more distracting than usual, but it also made a game that might have otherwise been uneventful a little more enjoyable (okay, a lot more enjoyable). 

Geno had texted him to tell him to meet him in the same hotel at the same room number, so maybe Mario had told him about that particular quirk of Sid’s, and Sid made a mental note to thank the older man for that the next time that he went over to his house for dinner. 

He’d dressed pretty much the same as the last time, gelled his hair back, and was knocking on Geno’s hotel room door at their agreed upon time, shifting his weight a bit nervously from one foot to the other. He didn’t really know why he felt any kind of anxiety at all, beyond the fact that he’d been thinking about this all week, every time he turned on the television to watch ESPN or reached into his pants to jerk off after a long day or night of work, to clean the slate.

This was confusing him a little bit.

It’s not like he has to wait long for Geno to answer the door, a slightly more welcoming grin on his face this time. It suits him, a little lopsided, but it looks right on his face. It sets Sid’s nerves at ease. Something else that should worry him, but that doesn’t quite get that far when he’s standing there staring at a man that he’s practically been mesmerized with on the ice for the last year he’s been playing for the Penguins. He can’t believe he’s this same almost shy guy off the ice. Though maybe shy isn’t the right word for someone who’s been hiring a hooker.

“Hello Patrick,” Geno says, and his voice wasn’t as tight as it had been the last week, as he steps back to usher Sidney inside. Sidney bites back the strangest compulsion to correct him. He’s never wanted to correct a client before, to give them his real name. That has got to stop. He needs to start treating Geno more like a regular client. No special privileges. 

“Geno, it’s good to see you again.” 

There, that’s perfectly normal. That’s what he’d say to any of his clients. Whether he’d mean it or not is another story, but that’s not important.

“It’s good to see you, too,” and there’s that smile again. It makes him feel a little unsettled, like he’s not in his place of business which this clearly is. This is where Sidney is supposed to shine. He needs to keep it pulled together.

The door closed behind him and he’s removing his outer layer of clothing, depositing it carefully in the hallway before following Geno into the Min part of the hotel room. It looks the same as it had before, which really shouldn’t have been a surprise to Sidney, considering that it is the same one as before, but he passes a couple seconds of his time taking in the little details of it. The ugly painting hanging on the wall above the bed, the lamps that are maybe just a little too big for the bedside tables, probably too fancy even for a room that this one was. 

“Is very cold out now,” Geno says slowly, shifting a little uncomfortably where he’s standing, his gaze fixed firmly on Sidney. 

Great, weather talk. Sidney is obviously failing at his job if they’re relegated to talking about the weather. It’s pretty clear that he’s not doing a very good job of keeping his client distracted if he’s standing there as awkwardly as Geno is. But there’s just something that feels weird now that he knows who Geno is and he’s seen him in his life outside of this room. He’s always been careful not to let that happen before. He probably should have ended this arrangement as soon as he’d learned who Geno was, but how could he? This was _Evgeni Malkin_. He was practically living the dream.

Besides, he grew more curious the more he saw him, and it was starting to become that itch that he just couldn’t scratch. So it turned out that he had a bit of a selfish side. Mario probably wouldn’t be surprised.

“Yeah, it’s winter, it’ll just get colder.”

They stand there in another awkward silence before Geno takes a half step closer to Sid, his movement a little jerky and not at all the graceful motions that Sid knows he’s capable of on the ice. It’s strange how that gracefulness doesn’t translate between the ice and his everyday movements.

Or maybe it did, and Sid just made him nervous. It was hard to tell. 

“Patrick… you said you kiss, yes?”

Sidney nodded and decided finally that he needed to be the professional here. This _was_ his job. He prided himself on being the best at it for a reason, and damnit if he wasn’t actually going to be the best, regardless of his own stupid hangups.

He moved quickly, closing the distance between them and tilted his head up to make up the few inches that Geno was taller than him to press his lips against the other man’s. This had been one of the first things he’d ever learned to do, and even though it wasn’t one of his most asked after qualities, he knew he was good at it.

Their kiss started as an easy slide of lips against each other before he was a little surprised by Geno who had been somewhat the passive partner in their meeting so far, sliding his fingers (and they were big, thick, and long) against the back of his neck, untangling the soft curls there as he pressed their lips more insistently together, his tongue gliding lightly against the seam of Sidney’s lips until they parted for him, deepening the kiss.

Kissing was usually something that Sidney did mechanically, opening his mouth, sliding his tongue against his client’s, making the appropriate noises; but this was different. He tilted his head and lifted his hands to rest on the firm chest in front of him, letting the weight of his body rest against him like that as he responded to the kiss, sucking lightly on Geno’s bottom lip and throwing himself into the kiss, determined to make it as good for Geno as he could. It was his job, after all. 

Geno clearly enjoyed what he was doing, because he made a sound into the kiss and wrapped his other arm around Sidney’s waist, pulling them tightly together so that their bodies were pressed flush to each other and Sidney hadn’t realized how much he missed having such a firm, hot body pressed against him until now.

Not that his other clients weren’t satisfactory, but he’d never really sought any kind of pleasure from them. Not that he should be doing that to Geno, but at this point he wasn’t sure that he could even convince himself not to.  
By the time they pulled apart, Geno’s lips were a puffy red from where Sidney had been sucking on them, and his cheeks were a little flushed, and Sid doubted that he looked much better than that.

“Tonight I fuck you?”

Sid’s breath caught a little in his throat, and he could have smacked himself for being so unprofessional about this whole thing. He knew better, he was no blushing virgin. He’d been fucked plenty of times before. Never by someone that he’d watched for a year before having an opportunity like this, of course.

“Yes, of course. Just let me get my clothes off.”

Geno shook his head, reaching for Sid and licking those kiss-swollen lips. “No, let me.”

Sid just nodded. Geno was the one paying for the time; he could do whatever he wanted with it. If he wanted to be the one to undress Sid, who was he to stop him?

Geno didn’t really take his time with things like undressing Sidney, either. He was extremely dexterous, his fingers making quick work of the buttons of Sidney’s shirt, tossing it on the ground before working at the button and zipper of his pants. He wanted to open his mouth and complain about the possibilities of wrinkles on his shirt, but then Geno was pulling his pants down his hips and he was stepping out of them, and he was standing there in just his boxers, feeling extremely underdressed.

“Now I’m the only one getting naked,” he says in what could be just a little bit of a whine before he can catch himself.

Geno just grinned at him, his eyes warm as he reached to just tug his own shirt over his head, tossing it aside and making even faster work of his pants which were being kicked off almost faster than Sid can comprehend.

They’re just standing there in their underwear now, staring at each other, and Geno is breathing a little heavier than he was before as he steps towards Sid, reaching out for him, and then they’re kissing again, a little harder than before and Sid is used to this rhythm, he can keep up with this. There’s nothing new about this at all.

Except, of course, for how hot it makes him feel.

He’s not used to getting hot just from kissing a client. There’s something odd about that, and it’s that which has him pulling away from the kiss slowly, his hands sliding up and down Geno’s chest, fingernails scraping lightly against the man’s nipples as he enjoys the soft hiss that escapes the other man.

Sid doesn’t waste too much time, his hands sliding lower until they’re sliding into Geno’s shorts, wrapping loosely around his cock as it continues to grow harder in his hand. His lips twisted into a bit of a grin as he stroked with one of his hands, the other moving lower to carefully roll his balls, his eyes never leaving Geno’s face.

It’s almost like a power trip, watching the way his mouth falls open a little, his head tilted back as he rocked his hips into the touch. Sidney takes the bait as strokes a little more insistently, squeezing just a little on every upward stroke, content to keep going as Geno’s cock grows hard and thick in his hand.

“Not too much, Patrick. Want to fuck you tonight.” Came the heavily accented reminder, and Sidney nodded, even as he pulled his hands reluctantly out of Geno’s shorts, licking his lips a little. He made his way over to where he’d kicked off his pants and reached into the pocket to pull out a condom and a packet of lube.

“Of course, come on, the bed is always the best for this.”

Not that he would be against Geno fucking him against the wall or really, he wouldn’t be against a little bit of carpet burn, but he did have other clients this week, and he had to keep his own comfort in mind. Also, the idea of having Geno pinning him down against the mattress as he fucked deep into him was too appealing to turn down.

Geno blinked a few times, obviously clearing his brain a little, before following Sid’s lead, and stepping over to the bed, climbing onto it kneeling beside Sidney.

“Do you want me to prepare myself, or did you want to do it?”

Geno’s mouth opened and closed a few times like he was trying to speak but no words were coming out, before he closed it and swallowed hard.

“I’ll do it.”

Sidney nod, and handed him both the condom and the packet of lubricant. That had been what he was hoping for. He’d watched Geno stick handle the puck across the ice and into the net night in and out, and he wanted to feel the hands that had done that on his body and inside of him.

Shifting onto his back, Sidney lifted his hips and slid his own boxers off, kicking them off the bed and spreading his legs open so that Geno could get a good look at him and a very clear path to just about anything that he wanted. The move had the desired effect. Geno leaned forward, licking his lips, and ran his hands up and down Sid’s thighs before brushing them just lightly against his cock, making it jerk just a little in response. Not something he would have anticipated, but he wasn’t going to complain.

Geno pulled open the container of lube, spreading some of it over two of his fingers, and Sid tried to spread his legs even wider to accommodate him.

“Look good, Patrick.”

Sid just nodded and licked his lips as he stared up at Geno even as the man pressed one finger inside of him. It went easily enough, but not without just the slightest bit of a burn that Sid was used to feeling at first. It was a good kind of burn, and he liked it, tilted his hips a little just to make sure that the finger had penetrated him deeply enough, to make sure that Geno could see exactly what he was doing to Sidney, because really that was what most of his clients got off on. It was all about seeing what they were doing as much as it was about actually feeling it.

The burn faded as Geno moved his finger carefully inside of Sid, thrusting it in a slow slide. He wasn’t sure if it felt so good because of how thick Geno’s fingers were or if it was because he was thinking about how talented those hands were when they weren’t just inside of him again, but whatever it was, it was definitely working for him.

“Another?”

Sidney nodded, tilting his hips up as Geno pressed his second finger in. He wanted to tell the other man that he didn’t have to be so careful with him. He’d done this so many times before that it was more for Geno’s benefit than it was for Sid’s, but he had the feeling that it would ruin the mood for Geno. Better to just let him do as he pleased. It wasn’t like Sid had any complaints about it so far.

Two fingers felt even better than the one had felt, and they were sliding easily inside of him, Geno twisting them a little as he pressed them deeply inside of Sid almost a tease of what was to come. 

When he glanced back up at Geno, sure enough the other man was fixated on watching his fingers as they moved inside of Sidney, and he couldn’t help the slight grin that slid across his face even if he was feeling a bit of uncharacteristic impatience. 

“I’m ready whenever you are,” he said after a few more minutes of Geno’s fingers inside of him.

“You don’t need another?” Geno asked, a little surprised.

Sidney felt his face flush a little. He’d never been embarrassed about his profession before. In fact, he was proud of it. There had never been any reason to be embarrassed about being a hooker. He made a lot of money, he was great at what he did, and he made his clients very happy. What was so wrong about that? But Geno was looking at him with such surprise and he wasn’t sure how to explain himself that he felt almost embarrassed about it in that moment. He wondered if Geno had maybe forgotten that he’d brought a hooker back for the night.

“No, I like it like this,” was how he finished it a little lamely.

Either Geno seemed to finally get it or he bought Sidney’s lame excuse, because he was carefully pulling his fingers out of Sidney and reaching to open the condom, sliding it over his cock with a bit of a hiss.

Good, he was still hard. Obviously he’d liked the fingering just as much as Sidney had.

“How do you want me?” Sidney asked after a minute, licking his lips and forcing himself to look away from Geno’s cock.

“On your hands and knees?”

It’s phrased like a question, but Sidney follows it like and order, rolling onto his front, positioning himself onto his hands and knees with his ass in the air and his legs spread open and easy for Geno. He likes this position because it’s less intimate than when he’s stuck on his back. He’s not disappointed at all, because that would be stupid.

“I’m ready,” he said finally, turning his head to look over his shoulder at Geno who is just staring at him with a strange expression on his face.

The other man just nods after a long pause, his hands coming to rest on Sidney’s hips for a second before one comes off to hold his own cock, positioning himself before he’s pressing in slowly, and that burn is back and it’s so much better this time, pulling him apart a little as Geno fills him up. It’s delicious and it’s the one part of sex that he enjoys every time that he’s lucky enough to have sex with a client that has a cock that’s as big as Geno’s is. Which is not very often, so he’s going to enjoy this while it’s happening to him.

He’s pressing back as Geno is pressing deeper inside of him until he can feel the warm weight of the other man’s balls against him and then they begin to move together, Geno’s thrusts short and shallow at first, before he begins to pull out a little further to thrust deeper inside of Sidney, reaching places inside of him that make Sid’s toes curl a little in pleasure. 

The spikes of pleasure aren’t enough to keep his cock hard, but it’s enough to keep his whole body hot and flush, and he keeps rocking back with the force of Geno’s thrusts. The other man is mouthing at his neck lightly, obviously remembering the no marking rule (which is good, Sid has to remind himself), as he breathes hot puffs of air against his skin, leaving his neck hot and wet.

The best moments are when Sid’s back is pressed flush up against Geno’s chest and the other man is buried completely inside of him, the burn and stretch and heat of it covering his whole body.

Soon Geno’s thrusts are a little more erratic and Sidney can tell that he’s getting a little closer to the edge, and he presses back with every thrust, helping him along. His thigh muscles are screaming with the effort of it, of holding both of them up, but it just adds to the whole experience, and he groans a little himself when he feels Geno’s hand tighten where he’s holding him around his hips, his face buried in the crook of Sid’s neck as he groans out the wrong name, and shudders, coming with one last hard thrust inside that has them both falling forward a little.

It takes a few minutes of heavy breathing before Sid can feel Geno pulling up and out of him and he winces a bit at the feeling of it. The sudden loss of the fullness, and he watches through half lidded eyes as Geno pulls the condom off of himself, ties it off, and tosses it in the trashcan.

Sidney gives himself another thirty seconds (he counts it out in his head) before he pushes himself up and into a sitting position and reaches for his boxers. He’s done this enough that there’s nothing more than a dull ache as his reminder that he was just fucked, and he’s grateful for it. There’s nothing more humiliating than limping around a hotel room after an appointment.

He can feel Geno’s eyes on him even as he stands up and begins dressing himself again, ignoring the fact that his own cock is still just a little hard in his boxers. He’ll take care of it at home.

“Are you leaving already?”

Sid blinks over at Geno and nods a little, confused. Generally that’s what his clients prefer. It’s easier and less awkward for everyone involved.

“But you didn’t… I mean, I didn’t get you off.”

Sidney shakes his head a little, a bit of a rueful grin on his face. “That’s not really how this works. You’re paying me for this, so you don’t really have to do that.”

Geno looks a little lost for words, so Sidney turns around to hide his own burning face, pulling his shirt on and buttoning it up. It definitely is going to be wrinkled.

“Oh.”

When Sidney turns around, Geno doesn’t look any less lost and confused, but he is holding out the envelope with the money in it. He doesn’t feel the need to count it this time, since he knows who Geno is now, and just tucks it into his pocket. 

“Next week? Wednesday?”

Sidney nods, licking his lips. It’ll be all he thinks about.

“If that’s what you want.”

Geno nods. “It is.”

The ride home isn’t an easy one for Sidney. Every time he sits down, he feels the dull ache of Geno inside of him, and it’s a reminder that he just wants to get home as quickly as possible so that he can just jerk off and wipe the slate clean.

As soon as he gets home, he tosses his keys and the envelope of money in the dish by the door and heads towards the kitchen to make himself his usual post-appointment peanut butter and jelly sandwich. It’s something he’d been doing since he started hooking, and it’s a part of his routine that he doubted he could get out of his system even if he tried. Not that it’s a habit that’s hurting anyone, so he never saw any reason to change it. When he’d lived with Mario and his wife, they’d always thought it was just a very amusing quirk of his.

While he was thinking of Mario, he wondered if he ought to call the older man and ask him if he had any insight into any of this—what was going on with him. He’d barely seen this client twice and already Geno was having an impact on how he was thinking. It was going to drive him crazy.

He could probably wait to talk to Mario until the morning when they met for their weekly coffee, though; because he was pretty sure he couldn’t wait any longer to get to bed. His body was still hot and humming from his encounter with Geno and just because he was standing in his kitchen practically inhaling his sandwich didn’t mean that he wasn’t still thinking about what it had been like back in that hotel room with the other man.

Sid waited until he was completely finished his sandwich before he headed towards his room (he might be horny, but he still had rules about crumbs and not having them in his bed), unbuttoning his shirt as he went. He tossed it in his laundry bin, his pants following immediately. They were both lost causes anyways, wrinkled from being tossed so haphazardly on the floor back in the hotel room. He finally makes it to his room and climbs onto his bed with a heavy sigh. He had begun to think that he was never going to make it.

Sliding into the middle of his bed, he reached down to shimmy out of his boxers and shivered at the cool air as it crept over his now exposed skin. He couldn’t sleep when the room was too warm.

Slipping one hand down, he let his fingers brush up and down his still semi-hard cock, taking no time at all to bring it to full hardness. It wasn’t that difficult. If he shifted his hips just so he could still feel the thickness of Geno inside of him and that was enough to have a thrill of arousal working its way through his body. 

It should have alarm bells going off in his head, but instead, he began to stroke his cock in earnest, long even strokes from base to tip, his thumb working just under the head. It’s really not long at all before his cock is leaking and making what had been almost too dry before just slick enough as he strokes himself, and he reaches back, pressing just the tip of one finger inside of himself, wanting to feel even the tiniest bit o that fullness again. It’s not hard, he’s still loose and wet from earlier, and the finger goes in and it’s not enough but it’ll do and he’s coming, spilling messily over himself with a groan that he bites off roughly. 

There that should wipe the slate clean, clear his thoughts of Geno, let him start tomorrow fresh without obsessing about what it had been like to be fucked by Geno the NHL player. He cleans himself up and falls asleep like that, pleased with himself.

 

It doesn’t work. That much is obvious when he wakes up the next morning and he stretches with a grin on his face, still feeling comfortably fucked out from the night before.

Well, damn.

He took his shower and got dressed quickly, fulfilling the usual parts of his routine before heading out to go and meet Mario at their usual café only a couple of blocks away from his nine to five. They’d been doing it ever since they’d met when Sid had been nineteen and just looking for a way to get into the escort business without actually standing on street corners or doing anything else equally clichéd, but he hadn’t been able to think of anything beyond putting a vague ad in the newspaper.

Mario had been his very first client. He’d been young and hadn’t been sure what to expect, but the older man hadn’t even wanted to sleep with him. He’d gotten lucky, and really all Mario had wanted to do was help him to be a little more discreet. The next day he’d taken his ad out of the paper and since then all he’d done was take the clients that Mario had sent his way. He’d never sent him anyone that Sid couldn’t deal with, and Sid knew that there were a few other boys that Mario helped, too. He didn’t know exactly why Mario helped them like that, he didn’t seem like the kind of guy that had a hidden agenda, Sidney never felt uncomfortable around him (and he was married too, not that that usually mattered—he had a couple of clients with tan lines around their ring fingers and a few others who never even bothered taking off their rings), and he’d never even made a pass at him. Not even the one night that he’d paid him to sit there and listen to him lecture Sidney about taking clients the right way.

They’d become friends, or rather Mario had become like a mentor to him, and Sidney still rather thought that at some point Mario must have done the job himself before he’d found himself a nice woman and married her. Nathalie was a sweet woman, too, Sid had always liked her, she fit well with Mario and it was one of the reasons that Sid couldn’t bring himself to ask if his mentor had ever been a hooker himself. It felt like it would be smearing the name of their marriage or… something. Like he would be crossing some sort of line. So he thought it was better to just assume that Mario had been and to leave it at that.

Mario was already sitting at their usual table with two cups of steaming hot coffee by the time that Sidney gets to the café. It’s not unusual. Even though Sid always arrives five minutes before their schedules meeting time, Mario was always there before him. Always with their coffees, and always waiting. It was just as much a part of their routine as anything else.

Sliding into the seat across from him, Sidney offered his friend a grin and took the coffee from him, reaching for the sugar immediately. He was something of a health nut usually, but he practically bathed his coffee in sugar.

“It’s good to see you, Sid. How’ve you been?”

Sid shrugged a little, fiddling with the sugar before finally taking a sip of his coffee. “I’ve been all right. The gym’s been picking up some, and the other work has been… okay.”

Mario grins over his coffee at him, raising a brow. “Okay?”

Nodding, Sid takes another careful sip of his coffee. “Yes. You could say I was a little surprised when my newest client turned out to be a member of the Penguins. You could have told me, you know.”

Mario just shrugged a little at him, still grinning. “I guessed you would figure it out on your own. I thought you would be happy, Sid, you love the Pens. That’s why I referred him to you instead of one of the other guys.”

The idea of Geno being referred to one of the other guys makes an ugly emotion coil in the pit of his stomach. 

“It’s not that, it’s just that it’s a little weird, you know? Suddenly realizing that the guy you’re… working with is someone you’ve admired from a distance before. He’s a professional _hockey player_.”

That’s getting a little more personal than he’d planned to get, but it’s not like he has a lot of people that he can confide in, if not Mario, than who else was he going to tell?

“Are you having trouble keeping him a secret?”

Sidney starts a little, shaking his head immediately. That hadn’t even crossed his mind. He would never have told the secret of any of his clients. He knows how important their confidentiality is. 

“No, of course not. I’m not going to tell anyone. That’s not what I mean. I mean, I’ve never known one of my clients before I’ve worked with them before.”

Mario nods a little at that, putting his coffee down. “But you didn’t really know Geno before you worked with him.”

“But it feels like I did. All those interviews, and I never missed a game, Mario. It’s like… it’s different than the other guys.”

His voice is still quiet, but he can tell that it’s gone up a little because Mario has that look on his face that he always gets when Sidney is whining at him but he’s not going to point it out because it’s too obvious to the both of them already.

“So you’re confused because you feel like you know him?”

Sidney nods after a minute. It’s something like that. He’s confused for a lot of reasons, but that definitely has something to do with it. It all has to do with the fact that Geno just isn’t like the other clients that he’s had before.

“Do you want me to refer him to another guy?”

“No!”

The response might come a little too quickly, judging by how fast Mario’s brows make for his forehead, but it’s too late to take it back now.

“I mean, I’m fine with it. It’s just different is all. I just have to get used to working with someone that I know. I’m sure it’ll get back to normal.”

Mario nods, reaching for his coffee again. “And if it doesn’t, there’s nothing wrong with that, Sid. Not everything has to be normal, you know. It’s okay for things to be different once in a while.”

Sidney just frowns into his cup and takes another sip of his coffee. It’s not really sweet enough, but he doesn’t really think adding any more sugar to it will help matters. 

“How different? How is different okay? I was just fine with things when they were the same every day?” And then Geno had to come and mess things up, and Sidney _liked_ it, and that’s what was confusing him.

Mario just sighs at him and reaches across the table to pat him on the shoulder. “You’re really having a tough go of it, aren’t you?”

Sid just buries his face in his hands and sighs. Obviously this is going to be harder to figure out than just talking it out with Mario who is being entirely unhelpful. Mario who almost seems amused with the whole predicament. 

“You’re going to be fine, Sid. If it gets to be too much, you can just pass him on to someone else, I’m sure he’ll understand that you’re under a heavy worked load.”

Sidney just scowled a little in return, crossing his arms over his chest as he stares at Mario who he is certain now is teasing him on purpose. Mario obviously knows something about this that he just doesn’t feel like sharing with him.

“I don’t want to give him up as a client; I just don’t want to be blurring the line between client and—anything else that’s not a client.”

Mario’s expression turns a little serious at that and he just sighs at Sidney before sipping his coffee. “You’ll be fine as soon as you realize that there’s nothing wrong with having a bit of a crush on your client. As long as it doesn’t get out of hand. I’m sure you’ll be able to deal with it professionally. Besides, I’m betting this has as much to do with the hockey thing as much as anything else doesn’t it?”

The thing was Sid has missed playing hockey. Sometimes when it gets into winter the way it is now, he joins in on a few games of pick up with a few guys from the gym, careful not to take too much contact. It’s hard to restrain himself, he’d always been the type who had thrown himself fully into everything he’d done and hockey had, at one point, been the most important thing in his life. It couldn’t be that anymore, and maybe a part of this… something that was attracting him to Geno so much was that he was a part of that piece of Sidney’s life that he couldn’t have anywhere else. He swore that Geno even smelled like the rink half the time when they were naked and sweating together. He almost wanted to know what it would be like to crawl into bed with him after a game, what he would smell like then, feel like covered in bruises.

He was definitely over thinking it. Probably. He just needed to spend the rest of this week working it all out at the gym and spending his time with his other clients. That would help get him back into the swing of things. He just needed a little bit of time without thinking about Evgeni Malkin. Even if that meant he tried to avoid watching the games leading up to their next meeting. He could keep himself busy enough.

“Earth to Sidney, you still in there?”

He flushed as he blinked himself back to awareness, reaching for his coffee again. “Of course I can be professional about the whole thing. It’s just the hockey thing, you’re right. I’ll get over it.”

Mario reached over and covered Sid’s hands over the cup, the contact intimate enough that Sid felt almost compelled to pull his hands away.

“And even if you don’t get over it, it’s no big deal. We can find a way to figure things out if you end up with a real person’s emotional problem.”

Sidney just laughed that off a little awkwardly, finally pulling his hands away for real.

He didn’t want to think about Geno becoming some emotional problem that might need to be fixed. He was a professional, he didn’t have emotional problems. Hadn’t had one in years.

“So how’s Nathalie doing?”


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, plot!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should probably thank the creepy guy at Starbucks who kept looking over at my computer screen-- he made me type a lot faster than usual because I was pretty sure he was getting an eyeful of this.
> 
> Also thanks to everyone who's reading and leaving feedback and kudos, it feels great to know that people are reading what I'm writing!
> 
> Just a note: I know I added another pairing to the list as soon as I added this chapter-- the Sid/Nealsy stuff probably won't lead to sex. I'm pretty sure. It'll mostly be shenanigans.

It’s hard not to let the whole idea of meeting up with Geno effect his nine to five. A few times, his co-workers have given him a look that made it pretty clear that he’s not doing a very good job, even when all he’d been doing was walking through the lines of machinery, offering half bits of advice to a few of their newer members. 

The gym he worked at was a really nice place, usually frequented by people who could really afford to go to a place that worked one-on-one with you as much as possible, occasionally athletes, but mostly guys who were still trying to make it as professional athletes, but who just weren’t quite there yet-- but he just wasn’t feeling it lately. His entire routine had been thrown off when he’d told Mario that he wasn’t going to watch any hockey games while he tried to get any extra feelings or whatever was crawling under his skin with Geno out of his mind. It really was affecting everything in his life. It was obviously not working, either. The closer it got to their agreed upon date, the more obnoxious the itching under his skin got.

He heard one of his regulars calling his name, and turned in their direction to see them over at the weight sets. At least that was something that might keep him a little distracted. He was good at his job. He was good at selling the gym to people, getting membership sales, and he was good at helping them while they were working out, giving them the advice that they needed to make the most out of every workout. 

Sid was good at everything that he really put his mind to.

He worked with the regular for a good twenty minutes, spotting him on the weights and falling into the easy rhythm of his job and just letting his mind clear as much as possible before the guy sat up grinning at Sid before heading off for the pool. Sid thought maybe there was a flirtatious tilt in his smile, but that was definitely not something he was going to be thinking about. He never mixed business with pleasure.

Not even when it was part of his job.

Which brought him back to thinking about Geno. Damnit.

“Hey Sid!”

Sidney turned around at the sound of his name to face the front desk, eyes searching out their receptionist. Usually that tone of voice meant that there was a new member-to-be waiting for him. He couldn’t see a clear path to the front though, so he just strode over towards them, carefully side stepping the people working out in his path like he’d been doing it for years, he was good at that, too. 

By the time he made it up to the front the receptionist, Jennifer, was tapping her foot a little impatiently at him, and he just shrugged at her apologetically. He’d gotten there as quickly as he could. 

“How can I help you, Mr.—“ he turned as he was saying it, his eyes widening a little when he was fully turned around and staring into the face of, well.

“Neal. James Neal.”

Side just nodded, grabbing for the membership papers and filling them out quickly. He kind of wondered if there was any way that he could just hide behind the desk. It was strange how two weeks ago he would have given just about anything to be in this situation, standing opposite a member of the Penguins, offering to help them work out in the gym that he worked in, and now that he was actively fucking one—hooking for one, he reminded himself—he felt like he should hide away from the rest of the team. What if Geno came in and saw him? He peered behind James Neal just to make sure that it wasn’t going to be _that_ kind of day, and let out a bit of a relieved sigh. Though to be honest, he might have been a bit disappointed, too.

“A fan, eh? It’s just me, though. Sorry to disappoint you?”

Sid blinked back to reality and shook his head, handing the membership papers over to James. “No, no, I’m not disappointed. Just surprised. I thought you guys had your own private gyms or whatever.”

James shrugged a little and signed the papers. “We have one, but this place is closer to my house. Sometimes it’s good to spice things up a little bit.”

Sidney just nodded as though he agreed with him. He didn’t. Spicing things up tended to go very badly for him.

“Of course. Well, I’m sure you’ll be very satisfied with it here. I’m sure you don’t need it, but we have trainers that can work one-on-one with you, spot you on some of the bigger weight sets and help to co-ordinate a workout plan with you.”

He felt kind of stupid saying all of this to a professional athlete, but it wasn’t the first time he’d given the speech to someone who obviously hadn’t needed it. He’d met a few of the Pirates a couple of months back when they were looking for a place to train quietly.

“Are _you_ one of the trainers?”

Sid blinked back to reality again and cleared his throat. It almost sounded like James Neal was hitting on him, and he took a half a second to glance down at himself, shirt sticking to him a little uncomfortably thanks to the sweat he’d worked up on the stationary bike earlier. Shorts that hung just above his knees. Nothing particularly attractive about him right now, so he was pretty sure that he was imagining it.

“Yes, I am. I’ll be around most days to help, not that I’m sure you need it.”

James just shrugged and grinned a wide, warm smile at him. “You never know. Can never have too much help, right?”

Sidney just shifted a little awkwardly where he was standing, but nodded. Things were getting a little stranger and he was definitely starting to rethink his wanting to hide behind the desk plan. What had his life become that he was standing here almost, kind of, maybe being flirted with by James Neal of the Penguins?

Would it really have been so bad? It had to be better to be flirted with by James Neal of the Penguins who was flirting with Sid the gym membership guy, than to be fucked by Geno who was just fucking Patrick the hooker.

“Yeah, of course. Did you want to start today? OR were you just signing up today?”

“Nah, man, I was just stopping in to check the place out. Mind giving me the tour?”

It was a part of Sidney’s job, so he just nodded and filed the paperwork quickly before gesturing for James to follow him around and to the main area of the gym. 

“As you can see, there are usually not too many people in here at any given time. It’s a fairly private gym.”

James nods, giving Sidney another one of those toothy grins. “Because it’s expensive, you mean.”

Sidney did mean that, but he’d been a little more tactful than that about it. He found himself laughing a little at it anyways, surprising even himself. It was a comfortable sort of moment in an uncomfortable sort of day.

“Yeah, I guess I did kind of mean that.”

They turn the corner and Sidney points out the rows of bikes and treadmills. “This is usually one of the quieter places.”

Nodding, James gave Sidney a bit of a sidelong glance and then nodded again. “This is where you like to work out, I take it?”

Sidney blinked a little at that. It’s not an inaccurate statement, but it still surprised him. “Yeah, how can you tell?”

James just gave him another look. “You seem like the kind of guy who likes his quiet. And your calf muscles are ripped.”

Sid flushes a little at that. He’s pretty sure that he’s being flirted with now, and he doesn’t know how to feel about that. 

“Oh. Uh. Thanks.”

James just nodded, and continued walking ahead of Sid, seemingly unaware of how thrown off he was. They step into the pool area next, and James gives a bit of a nod at it. “Nice digs here. I like it. I think it’s a good pick, and you’ll be here. Seems like a good fit for me. Maybe I’ll bring a few of the guys next time.”

That comfortable feeling that had been building in Sid’s chest is swept out from under him immediately, and he struggles to keep it from showing on his face. He absolutely has to stay professional about this.

“Yeah, maybe.”

“Or maybe I’ll keep this little gem for myself. We don’t always have to share everything.”

And there’s a hidden meaning there, but Sid just doesn’t know that he can find it. Or that he wants to find it. It’s all too complicated for him. He just clears his throat a little and fights back the flush that tries to creep its way onto his face and leads James over to where the sauna and steam room are, just so that he can see them.

By the time that they make it back to the front desk, Sidney feels wholly uncomfortable with the whole situation. He’s sure that he must have done something to make James feel like he was available to be hit on… or something, but he’s not sure what. He doesn’t know that he wants to be that guy who worked his way through the Penguins. Not like that, anyways.

“So what days do you work?”

Sidney licks his lips a little nervously, and doesn’t miss the way James’ eyes follow the movement.

“Monday thru Friday.” It wouldn’t do him any good to lie. Jennifer is an awful receptionist, and he doesn’t know anyone who works there who would lie to James Neal if he asked them, anyways.

“Great. I’ll make sure to stop by soon. Maybe I’ll bring you some Pens swag, if you’re such a big fan.”

And he leaves with a bit of a wink. It looks awkward on his face, and Sidney has to fight not to let out another nervous laugh. 

The whole experience lasts only about an hour, but it’s an hour that Sidney isn’t obsessing over Geno. It’s an hour that changes the whole day, and he’s left with two things to obsess about now. It turned out that having two things to obsess about was actually a little better than just having the one thing. It was a little variety, which wasn’t that great in his everyday life, but turned out to be great when it came to taking turns in his mind’s freak outs.

By the time the day comes around to meet Geno again, James hasn’t come back to the gym and it’s a bit of a relief. He’s not sure that he could have dealt with that. Of course people hit on him regularly, Sidney knew that he was a good looking guy—he took good care of his body, did his best to look good and dress well, he ate well and always styled himself to the best of his ability. But there was something to be said for being hit on by a professional athlete. It did something great for his ego, but it also made him a little nervous. What if he’d been reading the situation all wrong? What if James Neal was just really, really nice?

He’d seen some interviews with him before, but he’d never seen any of the behaviours that he was exhibiting now. Not that that meant anything. It was hard to tell someone’s personality by the interviews that they gave to a huge group of reporters about a hockey game.

He dressed himself nicely and forced any and all thoughts of being hit on by James Neal out of his mind before heading to the hotel to meet Geno. It was just going to be like the two times before. Have sex, get his money, and then leave. It wasn’t going to be anything special, so he doesn’t know why he spent any extra time styling his hair or why he’d stood staring at himself in the mirror for quite so long.

By the time he stood in front of Geno’s hotel room door, he couldn’t quite bring himself to knock on the door. He just stood there with his hand raised and hovering in mid-air. What was he doing? This was his job, and he was good at it. He could do it just as easily as anything else.

Before he could knock, though, Geno opened the door and stared down at him for a minute, almost surprised to see him there, before stepping back to gesture him inside.

“Patrick, why are you just standing there? Come inside.”

Sid blinks a few times before nodding and stepping past the threshold of the door and into the room. Same as always, and that was comforting more than anything else. Just like every time before, he strips off his outer layers of clothing, before turning to face Geno who is speaking even as he’s still turning to face him.

“You want a drink?”

“Just a bottle of water, please.”

Geno nods like he was expecting that answer, and heads over to the mini fridge, pulling out a bottle of water and a couple of little bottles of what Sidney can tell are vodka, handing the water to Sid before pouring the vodkas into a glass and sipping it.

“How was your week?”

It’s an awkward conversation for them to be having, and Sid can tell. It’s always a little awkward with his clients, when they try to act like their appointments are regular dates instead of what they really are. It’s different with Geno, though, because Sid can tell that the other man honestly doesn’t know what to do in this situation.

And this time it’s Sidney who wishes that this were something a little more regular instead of what it really is.

“It wasn’t bad. Busy with work.”

He leaves it open like that, lets Geno believe that either he has a day job or that he was busy with other clients. It wouldn’t do him any good to specify. That would be getting too personal, even if there wouldn’t be any way for the other man to really find out.

“How about you, Geno? How was your week?”

Maybe what Geno really needs is to talk about himself. Sid usually finds it tiring to have to listen to his clients ramble on about themselves and their families and their lame jobs and how sorry their lives are, but he actually would love to hear a little about Geno’s life. It’s probably a problem.

“Wasn’t bad. Hard game against the Capitals. Ovi always plays really hard against me, like he has something to prove. Wants to be the best Russian in the league.”

And it’s good that neither of them are pretending like they don’t know who Geno is anymore.

“He’s not, though,” escaped Sid before he could help himself, and then his face is turning red, he could feel it.

Geno offers him a smile at that, big and toothy and his cheeks are a little flushed at it, too. 

“Thank you. I told him that, too. After the game we went for drinks. Better after Pens win, though. He likes to brag.”

Sidney nods, eating up every word and leaning forward in his seat as he listens to Geno. It’s like living another person’s life, listening to the story. He can almost imagine being there with him.

“He mocked the goal I missed in the third, said I couldn’t carry team to a championship, but I know we’ll beat them if we need to, and then we’ll see who the best Russian in the league is. Told him I was better looking than he is, at least. He said at least he has a woman already. Said she must be blind to have picked him.”

Sidney laughed and nodded, still leaning forward, his elbows on his knees as he cradled his water in his hands and listened intently. It really was something, the way Geno’s face lit up when he was talking about something as light and easy as spending some time out with his friends. How easily he was opening up to Sid like they were friends instead of what they really were.

“We play Flyers on Friday, though. Harder game than the Caps, because they’re not afraid to hit as hard as they can. Not afraid to take stupid penalties, either. They try to win at any cost.”

Sidney just nodded in agreement because those were some of his favourite games to watch. He loved the rivalry between the teams, loved how sparked up they got. Loved watching Geno split the Flyer ‘D’ and wrist one right past their goalie, and he did it almost every single time they played them. He always seemed to play his best against that team. 

“Those are the best games,” Sid says after a long pause lingers between them, offering Geno a smile as he finally drops his water carefully onto the floor beside the bed and stands to walk towards them. He was going to do his job properly this time. He knew what Geno needed, they’d done this a couple of times before now, he could take the reins. “I love watching those games, you guys always play your best.”

“You’re a hockey fan?” Geno finally asked, his eyes tracking Sid’s movements as though he were a puck sliding against the ice.

“Of course. I thought that much was obvious.”

Geno shrugged a little, licking his lips as he reached out to touch Sid’s arm lightly, sliding his fingers carefully down the sleeve of his shirt before coming back up to begin working intently at the top button.

“Don’t really say much, Patrick.”

Sid hated the way Geno’s voice sounds saying that name. Patrick. He wondered what it would sound like rolling over the syllables of his actual name.

That wasn’t going to get him anywhere.

“I’m not really all that interesting. I like hockey, though. Like the Pens a lot. Think you’re pretty cool,” and he would usually praise his clients, that’s part of his job so he doesn’t really know why his cheeks feel so much warmer than usual or why the words sound so earnest even to his own ears.

Geno seemed to like it though, his fingers moving deftly to unfasten all of the buttons of Sid’s shift, pushing it off of his shoulders and letting it fall to the floor. Another wrinkled shirt that he would just have to worry about later.

Sid slides his own fingers under Geno’s shirt, pausing only when he hears the other man hiss in discomfort.

“Are you all right? Did I hurt you?”

Geno just shook his head a little and pulled back enough that he could tug his own shirt over his head so that Sidney could see the long, deep bruise that covered his ribs on his left side.

“Let me guess, Ovechkin?”

Geno just offered him a lopsided grin and nodded, his hands sliding up and down Sidney’s chest, making him shiver just a little under the attention. 

“I knew I didn’t like him for a reason.”

“He’s a good guy,” Geno assured him. “Just a hard hockey player.”

Sidney shrugged a little in response, deciding that nothing was going to change his mind on the matter, and leaned forward so that he could slide into Geno’s lap, giving him better access to the other man, his lips slotting against Geno’s in a slow, easy kiss.

It really shouldn’t have been as easy as it was to kiss him like this, but Sidney liked it, and Geno was already a little hard just from this much contact, Sidney could feel it against him where he was pressed tightly against the other man. He liked that.

They kissed like that, just a slide of lips against each other, tongue exploring slowly almost shyly for a minute before finally pulling apart to breathe deeply, Sidney resting his forehead against Geno’s shoulder as he carefully began rocking his hips against Geno’s feeling him grow more responsive under the slow movement. 

“Tell me what you want tonight?”

It was part of his job, knowing exactly what his client wanted from him on any given night, and so he had to ask, even if he would have been just as satisfied as anything to just rock against Geno until both of them came in their pants like teenagers.

“Just like this, but with less clothes.”

Sidney grinned a little, pleased that they seemed to be a in the same mindset. That didn’t happen a lot with many of his clients.

It was with a lot of regret that he shimmied off of Geno’s lap to pull his pants and boxers off, kicking them aside, and watched with hungry eyes as Geno did the same before he sat back down on the edge of the bed. There were a few other bruises peppering his legs and thighs. Reminders that he was definitely a hockey player and Sid just found those more appealing. It was really working for him, he was even a little hard himself, and that rarely happened like that.

“Ready?”

Geno just nodded, and Sidney climbed back into the other man’s lap, carefully lining up their bodies so that their cocks were pressed together tightly. He gripped them loosely in his hand for a minute before flinching just slightly. Definitely too dry. But he really didn’t want to get back up to fetch the lube from his pants, so he just lifted his hand to mouth and spit in it, his eyes focused on Geno who was still watching him, his eyes wide and pupils blown.

Lowering his hand, he wrapped it back around their cocks, and began stroking them slowly, his hips moving carefully into the circle of his fingers.

He glanced down once to watch their cocks before he felt a hand guiding his chin back up and Geno’s lips were covering his again and he was kissing him a little messily, his tongue sliding into Sidney’s mouth as Sid worked his hand over their cocks in a rhythm now. It was working for him, for sure. His own cock was hard and thick and pressed almost hungrily against Geno’s as his fingers moved easily over the two of them. 

Sid could feel it when Geno was getting closer, because the hot wetness of his precome was sliding down between their cocks with every upward twist of his wrist, and his wasn’t the only one, Sid’s hips were moving a little restlessly, too, but he didn’t know if Geno wanted him to come or if he was supposed to hold off and come on his own later.

He didn’t have too much time to think about it, because Geno was making noises into their kiss, biting at little at Sidney’s mouth despite the rule against that (and Sidney was _letting_ him, and that probably meant something) as he reached around and tangled his fingers at the hairs at the back of Sidney’s neck, tugging lightly on the hair there before he was shuddering and coming and spilling hot and messily between them, making the stroking of Sidney’s hand a whole lot easier.

Sidney continued stroking until he was sure that Geno was finished and then moved to pull his hand back, but was surprised when the other man reached down and wrapped his fingers around Sidney’s own sticky ones, pulling his hand back down in an easy stroke that had Sid gasping a little.

“Keep going. Want you to come, too.”

Sidney nodded. That was all the permission that he’d needed, and he lifted his hips a little to get a better reach and began stroking with Geno’s help. IT only took another few strokes before he was groaning loudly into the other man’s mouth and coming hard between them with a few hard shudders, adding to the mess and losing his balance just enough to rest heavily against Geno’s chest.

It was a couple of minutes before he could catch his breath enough to pull back. Swallowing hard, he kept his gaze to the floor as he moved to the washroom to wipe himself clean and then came back out to see Geno laying back on the bed, his stomach still covered in a fair amount of their come.

“I’m just going to wipe you clean,” he said loud enough for the other man to hear him.

“Okay,” was the soft grunt he got in reply as he reached down and carefully wiped Geno clean. It was all part of being a good professional, but it was hard to do when his legs were feeling a little bit like rubber. 

He made his way back to the washroom and tossed the cloth back in the sink before he went back to the bedroom and began sorting through the clothes on the floor for the stuff that belonged to him.

“You want to come to a game?”

Sidney almost jumped a little in surprise when Geno’s voice came out of nowhere from the direction of the bed. He’d half thought the other man was asleep.

“What?”

“If I’d known you were a hockey fan, I’d invite you sooner. I can get you tickets if you want.”

Sidney swallowed hard. He’d love to go to a game, watch Geno up close and really get a feel for what it’s like to see the other man play. He’d tried getting good tickets before, but every time he’d thought he was ready to see a game, it was just too hard. It reminded him a little too much of what might have been before he’d been hurt, and he’d always backed out.

“Maybe to the Flyers game? We have a box, up top?”

Sidney thought that Geno might be talking about the box where the families of the players sit, and he gives the other man’s prone body a look of disbelief. You can’t just invite your hooker to sit where you would invite your family to sit.

“I can’t, I’m working. Thanks for inviting me, though.”

Geno just nodded from where he was lying down and the silence that hung between them got a whole lot more awkward.

“Maybe another time?”

Sid swallowed hard, but nodded at that.

“Yeah, that sounds great.”

He didn’t think that there would be a good time for that, ever, but he’d give it his best shot maybe some time in the far distant future. Maybe when Geno wasn’t his client anymore. He didn’t really want to think about that either, though.

Geno reached for the bedside table after another moment and pulled out the envelope which Sidney took gratefully, and after getting dressed, Sidney was quick to leave. Things were definitely starting to get awkward, and he wasn’t sure how to fix it.

Maybe tonight wasn’t the best time to fix it, either, not after a great orgasm like that. His legs were still feeling a little rubbery, and his mind was still fogged up just a little, his skin buzzing a bit. It had been a top ten for sure. He hadn’t gotten off like that with a client for a long time. Longer than he could remember, for sure.

He followed the same routine as always when he got home, peanut butter and jelly sandwich and climbing into bed, but he didn’t feel much like jerking off. He tried a little bit, but there’s not much he could do about it and he laments that fact, even as he began to doze off.

It seemed to serve him right, though, that the next day he’d just gotten in to work, and gotten dressed when none other than James Neal walks through the front door, wide grin in place as soon as he caught sight of Sid and waved at him, gesturing him over.

“I hoped you would be here. I changed my mind; I decided that maybe sharing you just a little might work in my favour. I brought you something better than swag to make you like me.”

Sidney’s not sure that he liked where this conversation is going, but James is glancing over his shoulder and Sid just follows his gaze as the door slides open again and another body comes bursting through it.

“Didn’t even wait for me to get out of the car, Lazy.”

Sid freezes at the sound of the familiarly accented voice, and is standing there almost with almost comically wide eyes when James gestures Geno closer and his expression is almost matched by the other man.

“G, man, come meet Sid. He’s going to be our new personal trainer. I haven’t tested him out yet, but doesn’t he look like he’d be good at his job?”

This was definitely, definitely a bad week.


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Awkward gets more awkward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got a lot of comments about how awkward the last chapter was. It's just going to get more awkward from here on out, so I hope no one actually minds! C: Thanks for all the comments, guys, they made me want to write more a lot faster!
> 
> Also all of Nealsy's pickup lines are pulled from various Cosmo websites. I spent a lot of time reading them just to pick some that I liked. I might pick more because I think they suit him.

Geno looked between Sidney and James for a minute, his mouth opening and closing before he seemed to get control of himself and reached out a hand, offering it to Sid.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Geno.”

Sid just stared at the hand for a second before deciding to take Geno’s lead and reaching out his own hand to shake the other man’s. 

“Sid. Welcome to the gym. If you’re going to be coming here, we’ll have to fill out some paper work. Unless you’re not really going to be coming here. If you’re just planning—for just the day, I mean, we have a daily visitor’s pass.”

He hoped that he didn’t sound too hopeful in offering that to Geno, but now that his how façade was ruined, he was hoping to do as much damage control as possible.

James was just looking between them, his expression a little confused.

“Have you two met before?”

Geno’s expression was a little cold when he looked away from Sid. Sidney’s not sure what he expected Geno’s reaction to be, but he’s also not sure what Geno expected from him. Did the other man really think that the only thing he did was hooking? 

“No, we never met before.”

Sidney shook his head in agreement. “No, just a hockey fan, remember?”

James nodded and pushed past them. “Well hurry up and sign up, G, we don’t have all day.”

Sidney swallowed hard but waited until James had gone far enough that he was well out of ear shot before he turned back to Geno who was still standing there looking a little shell shocked. He reached for the necessary paperwork, and cleared his throat.

“Look, I’m sorry if this is going to be too weird for you.”

Geno finally glanced back up to meet his gaze again, brows furrowing. “Why would it be weird for me? Because my hooker is gym trainer with a different name?”

Sid flinches a little, swallowing hard. Okay, so maybe it was going to be pretty weird. He should probably give them off to another one of the trainers, but he really didn’t want to. This was his chance to be a part of something that he’d thought he’d never be a part of again, and even if it was going to be awkward, he imagined it would be even more awkward if he handed off Geno’s gym membership to another trainer but kept him as a client, and he still wasn’t ready to hand him off as a client.

“Look, about that. Most guys don’t use their real name when they’re working. It’s just a thing, nothing personal or anything like that.”

Geno just shrugged a little, filling out his portion of the paperwork slowly as he obviously struggled just a little to read through it. Sid wanted to help him, but was worried that it might offend him. 

“No big deal. Should I keep calling you Patrick, or is that too weird now?”

It would definitely be too weird now.

“You can call me whatever you want, I guess.”

That earned him the corner of Geno’s lips curling up just a little bit. He’d count that as a win.

“Think Nealsy has a thing for you, you know.”

Sid flushed a little, and shrugged. 

“That’s nothing. I get that from guys around the gym all the time. It’s something in the air around here or something.”

Geno shook his head a little and get his gaze on Sidney intently. 

“You’re not interested in Nealsy? He’s a great guy.”

Sid flushed a little darker and swallowed hard. To be honest he hadn’t really been thinking about it too much. He hadn’t really wanted to think about what it would mean if James was being serious about his flirting. He had so much on his plate already, and he hadn’t dated anyone since he’d started hooking. It was just too hard to explain your career choices to someone when that was what your career was. They tended to judge you or go on about how it was cheating or stuff like that, and that was drama that Sid just couldn’t have in his life. Not unless he met someone who he would be willing to change his career for, and that had yet to happen.

“Don’t you think that would be a little complicated?”

Geno frowned a little, and signed his name at the bottom of the sheet of paper.

“Why complicated?”

Sidney raised a brow and took the paper from him.

“Because of my other job? Because of you? Don’t you think that he would have a problem with any of that?”

Geno flushed a little this time.

“Do you tell all your dates about your other job?”

He sounded honestly curious at that, and Sidney really wished that they weren’t having this conversation in the middle of the gym.

“I don’t---“

“G, are you done yet? I know you can’t read, but this is ridiculous!”

James’ head was peeking from behind the change rooms, and Geno was waving back at him.

“I have to go. We didn’t set up next meeting last time when you left. You left in kind of a hurry. How about after Flyers game? Come meet me in the same room? Team doesn’t have to travel, so we’ll be in town for a few days.”

Sid felt a rush of warmth through his body at the idea of seeing Geno right after a game when he’s still hopped up on the adrenaline of a win or a loss. That’s something that he’d thought about a few times before.

“Yeah, okay.”

“Don’t—“ Geno looks like he wants to say something else, but then he just shook his head, offered Sid a bit of a rueful smile, before jogging off in the direction of James’ voice.

It was going to be a long day.

It turned out to be just as frustrating as he’d thought it was going to be. If he had thought that James was going to tamper down his flirting because Geno was there—he was wrong. Apparently whatever was going on with James’ sexual identity crisis or lack thereof, Geno was already aware of it and maybe that was why James had chosen to bring him as his workout partner. So that he’d be free to leer at Sid and make all the odd comments that he wanted to. It doesn’t help that while Geno’s shirt is already almost too tight by the time it decides to start sticking to him in a way that should be awkward but is entirely hot.

Not to say that James isn’t good to look at, either. Sidney is getting a whole lot of things to look at that had been filtering through his jerkoff fantasies for the last couple of years. This would have been a dream just a couple of weeks ago, but now he was just confused.

“Don’t feel too bad, Sid, people in all countries are panting after this body.”

Sidney just rolls his eyes at James and leans over him to set the bike to the right mileage. “Don’t get ahead of yourself there, James.”

“Please, call me Nealsy. Only my mother calls me James.”

Sid flushes a little, feeling a bit warm at that. It should be something of an honour to get to call someone by the same name that their teammates get to call them, and it’s one that he was going to take. 

“All right, Nealsy it is. Now stop procrastinating and start pedalling.”

Geno was being suspiciously quiet from his bike, and when Sid turned around to face him, he was scowling down at the display, definitely looking unhappy with the whole situation. Sid wondered if he was still upset with finding out that he was going to be working out with his hooker, or if it was about the name thing, or if it had something to do with James flirting with him. He wondered if there was some sort of possession thing where he just wasn’t all right with sharing his hooker’s attention with his teammate.

It probably wouldn’t do very well to tell Geno that he was actually sharing his hooker with a lot of people, then.

Sidney felt a little bit of irritation flare in his belly as he reached over and set Geno’s bike, too, ignoring him the same way he was being ignored. It probably wasn’t helping anything to stoop down to his level, but his feelings were a little hurt. Geno had to know that Sid wasn’t interested in James that way. He’d pretty much already told him that.

Not that the attention wasn’t kind of nice. It was always a little bit of a relief to know that people still found the part of him that was Sidney Crosby, regular guy, attractive… even if he didn’t plan to do anything about it.

Though maybe at some point he should. There was a little voice in the back of his mind telling him that if the opportunity presented itself, he should take it. What was he really saving himself for?

“How long do you want us on these bikes, Sid?”

Sidney turned his attention back to James, smiling at him a little as he tried to focus on his job at the moment.

“Twenty minutes should be good, then you can move over to the weights for a while, if you want.”

“Lazy isn’t that good at the weights,” Geno piped in immediately, making James flush a little and sputter indignantly. “He’s lazy.”

Sidney couldn’t help the bit of an honest smile that slides across his lips as he turned his head to face Geno, but the other man still looked a little off to him, so he just sighed and shrugged. 

“Don’t worry, Nealsy, I’ll help you out.”

James seemed mollified by that, and pedaled a little harder in response. “Maybe it’ll be worth it to be the lazy one for once.”

And then he winked at Sid in that awkward, really not so sexy but somehow somewhat endearing movement. For a minute he felt a little bad for standing there while James was flirting with him and thinking of nothing more than how he wished it were Geno who was paying him that sort of attention instead of off to the side working on his bike in silence.

He just wanted some of his attention, and maybe that’s really what spurned him on.

“Maybe it will be. I’ve seen you play, I know you’ve got to have the stamina to take the kind of workout I like to give around here.”

James looked a little surprised at the retort, but pleasantly so as he grinned easily at Sid and leaned back just a little to flex his arms slightly.

Geno grunted something that sounded distinctly insulting and Russian to Sidney’s ears. At least he was paying attention now. That was an improvement.

“G, man, don’t mess up my groove. I’ve got something going on here. So Sid, I think there’s something wrong with my phone.”

Sidney’s brows furrowed a little at the sudden change in subject and wondered if maybe he’d done something wrong to merit it.

“What is it? I’m not a technician, you know, just a gym trainer.”  
James just continued wearing that smart ass grin of his as he reached into his pocket to pull out his phone, still pedaling away as though the route Sidney had punched into the bike was nothing for him.

“It doesn’t have your number in it.”

Sidney just groaned at that, but took the phone from James anyways. He could have probably made up some excuse about not sharing personal information between gym members and employees, but he thought that after all of this… well, he’d actually really like to be friends with this guy. This was James Neal. The Real Deal James Neal. He’d watched this guy play for the Penguins ever since he’d been traded to them, had cheered for him and watched him score goal after goal, building chemistry with the team. He liked him a lot, had envied him. Had wished he’d had the opportunity to play with someone like him in his short career.

After he punched in his number, he handed the phone back to James, ignoring the prickling at the back of his neck that told him that Geno was definitely still watching them. Good, that felt good, too. It was probably petty, but he wanted that attention, it meant that he was at least a blip on Geno’s radar.

“I can’t believe that line actually worked. Paulie told me that it would be a total bust if I ever used it!” He’s laughing, then, his head thrown back, and he did look fairly attractive like that, even under the harsh fluorescent light of the gym. Sidney could vaguely imagine being with someone like him. 

He could almost wish it, really.

But what he really wanted was snorting a little behind him, and he had to turn around to face him in that moment, keeping his shoulders straight and his chin up. He wasn’t going to be ashamed of anything.

“Problem?”

“Yeah c’mon, G, that was a pretty sweet move, don’t you think?”

Geno just shook his head, still pedaling. He looked good, sweat beading a little around his hairline. Sidney kind of wanted to slide his lips against it, to lick it off his skin. Those thoughts weren’t really helping anything.

“Weak line, Nealsy. I think maybe Sid is just easy for you.”

Sidney felt a flush creep up from his neck, making its way over his face quickly. 

“Jealous, G? Don’t worry, we’ll find you a nice girl.”

Sidney felt a little nauseated at that, all of a sudden, and looked away from James. Geno caught his gaze, though, and kept it.

“Don’t want a girl, Nealsy.”

Sid didn’t know what to make of that statement, or of the way that Geno’s gaze was fixed on his, but James was barely paying them any attention, fixated instead on finishing his bike with a wide grin on his face.

He swallowed hard and stood a little awkwardly off to the side while they finished their rides in relative silence before heading off to work on the weights. He hoped the rest of the day would go by without too much more excitement.

Aside from a few heated glances from Geno and James chatting his ear off about something that happened during their video run through for the powerplay (something he would have ordinarily been very interested in hearing about), nothing else of note happened until the end of their session when Geno caught him around the wrist as James walked past them and into the locker room.

“After the Flyers game?”

Sidney is too surprised to do anything but nod a little dumbly, staring down at their hands. He’d half thought that Geno would have decided to take on one of the other guys after the whole debacle with James and the gym, but it seemed like it hadn’t totally deterred him. At least not yet.

“Yeah. Yes. See you then.”

And he forced himself to turn and walk away. The first real smart thing he’d done all day.

He couldn’t keep himself from sitting down to watch the Pens/Flyers game later that week. It was one that he usually enjoyed more than any of the other games on the schedule, and he’d been looking forward to it doubly as much since Geno had made the appointment with him for after it.

Part of Sid was already wondering what the other man was going to look like battered and bruised up after the game, whether he would be riding the high of a win against their in-state rivals, or simmering angrily after a tough loss to one.

The game is close. The Pens score first, but the Flyers get one back almost immediately, and it looks like Geno is jawing at Giroux every time that there’s a stoppage in play and the two are on the ice together, and Sidney likes that. He liked seeing that Geno was getting really riled up and into the game.

It was a gritty back and fourth game, James scoring the next two goals in a row before the Flyers come back with three straight to lead into the final minutes of the third period, and Sidney is clutching the armrests of his favourite recliner, wishing not for the first time (not by far) that he were out there skating alongside them, winning with them or losing with them, but a part of the team he could have possibly been drafted into.

Geno let off one last shot as time was expiring on the clock, but Emery stopped it with a beautiful glove save, and the game was over. Sidney could see him break his stick behind the next before skating back over to the bench with the rest of his defeated team.

Sighing heavily, he stood up to turn off his television. The Flyers just seemed to know how to take down the Penguins sometimes, regardless of how badly they were playing and how well the Penguins were playing. It was endlessly frustrating, and he had the urge to break something orange. But he didn’t own anything orange in the first place, so it was a fruitless want.

He reached for his coat and scarf, pulling them both on and heading out towards the hotel he and Geno always met at.

His pace was quick to walk to their room, but with the drive to get there, he knows that Geno would have still gotten there before him. There was a humming just under his skin of anticipation over how he was going to find the other man. It was almost like being excited to see him again even after the disaster that had been their meeting at the gym.

Geno opened the door quickly when he knocked and grabbed him by the front of his jacket, pulling him inside and then he pushed the door closed, backing Sidney up against it, Before Sid could even properly understand what was going on, those lips are crushing hard against his in a bruising kiss, all teeth and tongue and Geno’s hands were pulling at the zipper of his coat, tugging it open and sliding surprisingly warm hands into it and under his shirt just against bare skin, making him gasp a little in surprise into the kiss.

Eventually, though, they have to pull apart to catch their breath and so that Sidney can peel off the extra layers of clothes he’d been wearing. He stepped away from the door, licking his lips a little to taste Geno there still, along with whatever drink Geno had been having before he’d showed up. Clearly the other man had started the party without him a little early tonight.

“Sorry about the loss, it was a good game, though. Close.”

Geno just scowled darkly at him, shaking his head. “Not the press, Sid, don’t have to talk about it anymore. Don’t want to.”

Sidney nodded in understanding, unbuttoning his shirt quickly, tossing it over the back of a chair. It wasn’t getting wrinkled tonight. “That’s fine. I’m here to make all of that go away. Whatever you want, I’m here to deliver it.”

Geno just made another frustrated sound that Sidney didn’t really understand at that, and reached out for him. Side stepped forward and slid his fingers under the edge of his client’s shirt, tugging it over his head and yeah, he was definitely covered in bruises that were in various stages of healing. He looked a bit like a painting. Between the Washington game and the one he’d just played, it seemed pretty obvious that the other players hadn’t been taking it easy on him.

“Looking good,” Sidney said honestly, lowering his head so that he could drag his lips along what looked like the most recent of the bruises. If he had to guess, he would have guessed that they were from when Simmonds had hauled him down with his stick just in front of the net before his last shift on the ice. That had looked like it was going to leave a mark just like this.

If it was too intimate a move for Geno, the other man didn’t say anything about it. He just lifted his hand and tangled his fingers in Sidney’s gelled hair, tugging it a little loose as he continued to kiss along each of the bruises that it looked like he’d received that night. 

“Should have defended better on that last goal. Should have made sure it went in the net on that last shot. Nealsy scored twice. Was completely useless for the team.”

There was something in his voice when he spoke about James, and his fingers tightened their hold a little in Sidney’s hair tugging him upward so that he could kiss him on the mouth properly. There was nothing bruising to this kiss, it was just a simple slide of lips against lips. Soft, almost.

Almost uncomfortably so. He could too easily forget what he was there for if this sort of behaviour continued, and so he reached down to palm Geno through his pants, glad to feel that he was at least a little hard from this much contact.

“What do you want to do to me tonight?” He murmured against Geno’s lips.

“Want to fuck you.”

Sidney is definitely up for that, and he nods eagerly, pulling the condom and lubricant out of his pockets and tossing them on the bed before tugging his pants down and kicking them off of him. He climbed onto the bed quickly, turning around the grin a bit at an almost start-struck Geno.

“You coming?”

Geno wasted even less time than Sidney had, unbuttoning his pants and kicking them off quickly before he climbed onto the bed beside Sid.

“Get yourself ready for me?”

Not really what he had been expecting, but he didn’t really have any complaints as he took the small container of lubricant in his hand and spread a little over a couple of his fingers, he twisted his body so that he was kneeling on his hands and knees, and reached behind himself with one hand, pressing two fingers inside of himself with a hiss.

“Two right away? In a rush tonight, Sid?”

His name on Geno’s lips, his real name, sounded just as good as he’d always imagined it would, and he was glad for a minute that he’d been found out, if it meant that he’d get to heard more of his name from the other man.

“I just like the sting sometimes, is all.” And truthfully he did feel a little like he was in a rush. He wanted to feel Geno inside of him, and he wasn’t in the mood to wait that long for it.

Geno seemed to find this an acceptable answer, and nodded, licking his lips as he watched intently, Sidney’s fingers working inside of himself. It wasn’t as good as when there were someone else’s fingers inside of him, reaching deeper than he could, or when those fingers were thicker than his, but it didn’t really matter. Geno was going to be fucking him with something much thicker than his fingers sooner enough and he could wait for that.

Letting his legs slide open a little further, he pressed a third finger inside and groaned loudly this time, rocking back against it. That was better. He loved that kind of stretch. The almost too much to take in one go kind of stretch.

Geno groaned in tandem with him, and that just spurred him on, making him move those fingers inside of himself a little faster, riding them with a practised ease. He could feel the other man’s hands sliding up the back of his thighs, coming up to grip his hips tightly. Almost too tightly, but he was finding that he actually kind of liked that. Liked that Geno wasn’t afraid to treat him a little roughly tonight.

“Want to fuck you now, Sid, you ready?”

Sid was pretty sure he was never going to get tired of hearing his name roll off of Geno’s tongue. It sounded so much better than the name he’d assumed for this and he couldn’t believe that he’d waited so long to hear it.

He just nodded his head in response to that, pressing his fingers inside of himself once more before pulling them out with a bit of a wince. It didn’t really matter how many times he did that, it would never stop being uncomfortable. 

Geno doesn’t waste any time at all, though, he can hear the sound of the condom packet being ripped open, and there’s a second where they’re not touching and he has to assume that the other man is sliding the condom over his cock before he can feel the blunt hardness of it pushing against his hole, pressing inside slowly. More slowly than he’d anticipated, given how quickly things had progressed so far that night.

The other man was holding his hips so tight, there was a moment where Sid was worried that there might be bruises on his skin, but then Geno was pressed tight against him and he was twisting his hips just so and it’s like a burst of pleasure rolling down his spine and they’re moving together again, Geno thrusts quick and hard, pushing Sidney hard up against the bed with every upward movement. It’s rough, but it was so, so good. Deliciously good, and Sidney couldn’t help but to arch his back into it, pressing his cheek into the pillow in an effort to muffle some of the noise coming from him.

“Make noise, Sid.”

The command caused a shudder to roll through him, and Sidney just nodded and lifted his head a little to let the noises escape him, moans and grunts and little breaths of air that escaped him in soft gasps as the other man continued to shove harder and harder into him, gripping him tighter and tighter. It hurt, but he wasn’t about to complain. It was the good kind of hurt that he’d always associated with things that he’d liked.

“Geno—“ He had to bite back anything else, because it was hardly professional of him to be acting this way. He’d just have to hope that the other man thought it was all a part of his performance, that it was part of what made the whole appointment so hot.

“You want to come?”

The words came out gruff where they were muffled against the skin at his shoulder, and Sidney was helpless to do anything but to draw in an uneven breath.

“That’s up to you, it’s your choice.”

Geno made a sound that came out a bit frustrated, followed by something that sounded a bit unflattering in Russian, but he didn’t stop the quick thrust of his hips into Sidney.

“Come for me.”

Sidney let out that breath he’d barely realized that he’d been holding, and reached down to wrap his fingers around his cock, hissing a bit at how hot and hard it had been already, and stroked it just a few times, matching the pace of Geno’s movements, before he was coming hard, eyes squeezed shut and face buried in the pillow under his head.

It wasn’t long before the hands clutching his hips were _really_ hurting him now, enough that he made a protesting noise, and lifted his head a bit from the pillow, but Geno wasn’t listening because he was pushing hard one last time inside of Sid, shoving his whole body forward on the bed as he did.

They laid there for a few minutes before Sid was sure that he was going to suffocate under Geno, and squirmed enough that the other man pushed himself up and pulled out of him with an uncomfortable look on his face. One that was definitely matched on Sidney’s face.

His hips were definitely aching a little along with the familiar dull ache that started at the base of his spine and radiated out a little. The familiar ache that came from being well and truly fucked.

“Oh—sorry, Sid. Broke one of your rules. Should I pay you more?”

That definitely broke whatever basking in the glow Sid might have been doing (which he hadn’t been doing, because he was a professional and that wasn’t what they did), and he frowned a bit. 

“What are you talking about?”

Geno gave Sid’s still splayed out body a thorough once-over. 

“Left marks. On your hips. Bruises, probably.”

Sid sat up immediately and looked down at his hips. Sure enough there were marks there that were definitely going to blossom into some bruises. Marks that were going to be hard to pass off as anything other than what they were—fingerprints.

“Damn it.”

Geno didn’t even look like he was sorry; he had a bit of a pleased expression on his face if Sid were to be completely honest. Which just confused the situation further.

“No, you don’t have to pay me more. I’m just going to have some explaining to do to my other clients. We’ll have to be more careful next time.”

That made Geno’s expression darken a little, but the other man just nodded and gestured to the bedside drawer where Sidney knew he kept the envelope of cash. It was as much a dismissal as anything. It made him feel cheaper than he had any right to feel, even being a hooker. Right, that was his job.

It was probably high time he stopped being confused about whatever feelings he was starting to think he might have for his client and start acting like it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't originally going to post another chapter today, but I'm so superstitious about writing fic on days that my main team plays so the original date (tomorrow) wasn't going to work for me. So today it was!


	5. Chapter Five

Even two days after the Flyers game the bruises on Sidney’s hips were a dark purple shaded by green and yellow and still completely in the shape of Geno’s fingerprints. His usual client from the night before had made a comment about them, and had asked if the rules had change, to which Sid had simply replied in a clipped tone that they hadn’t and that it had been a mistake that had cost him one of his clients, and would cost him another if it were to happen again. That had quieted the man, and it had kept his hands and clumsy fingers away from the tender skin, too.

But it hadn’t stopped Sid from thinking about Geno every time that his own hands brushed over the skin when he was getting dressed, pulling on his pants after an appointment or at the gym, or even washing himself in the shower. The worst had been when he’d been jerking off that night, his free hand finding the bruises on his left side and pressing on them lightly to feel the dull throb of the pain, the reminder of Geno fresh in his mind again.

He was starting to sound desperate, and it just wouldn’t do.

As he was dressing himself for his nine to five on the second day, he did his best to avoid the bruises, hoping that there wouldn’t be too many chances that he would be bumped against or anything at work that day. The last thing he needed was James or Geno coming in and bumping him around without realizing what they were doing.

Or maybe Geno would realize it. He shouldn’t think about that. Thinking about that would lead him down a bad road.

He didn’t even know if the two Penguins were going to show up at the gym that day. Just because they didn’t have practice scheduled for that day and James might have mentioned it offhandedly the last time they’d been at the gym.

Regardless of everything swimming in his mind clouding his better judgement and making things about a hundred times more confusing than they needed to be, Sid had to be at work, and he needed to be there on time. He’d never been late before, and he didn’t plan to start now. If he wasn’t going to be able to be a hundred percent professional in one of his careers, he might as well shoot for it in his other one.

Things had been much easier when he had just kept all of his feelings better compartmentalized. He just didn’t know what it was about Geno that made him come undone in this completely frustrating way. He’d worked hard to build himself a life in that way, and one little crush (and he’d mostly been crushing on Geno’s hockey skills to be honest, before he’d met him) had completely changed him.

Sure enough, though, it was only a little after noon when James came bounding into the gym, Geno following behind him just a little less enthusiastically. He could see that Geno looked a bit tired, and wondered if it was that maybe he was still frustrated from the game a couple of nights before. It had seemed to really get to him. He’d seemed pretty down about it the last time Sid had seen him.

“Sid, man, it’s good to see you!” Nealsy is throwing his arm around Sid’s shoulder before Sidney can do anything about it and he couldn’t help the way he tensed against the friendly gesture. He wasn’t used to being touched outside of his appointments, and definitely not by surprise. He couldn’t tell if he liked it of not.

“Nealsy, I’m a little surprised to see you. Don’t you have better things to do than bum around my gym today?”

James just pulls back with a bit of a sheepish grin and shakes his head. “Nope, a good workout is just what we need. Don’t you think, G?”

“Lazy always needs a good workout. Don’t know if he’ll get it here.”

Sid flushed a little at that, trying not to look too hard at Geno, but couldn’t help the quick glance in the other man’s direction.

“Harsh, G. You know that Sid will work us, he did a pretty good job last time. My muscles were buzzing pretty good the next day.”

Sid doubted that, he imagined that the trainers that worked regularly with Geno and James worked them much harder than he had, but it was still nice of James to say.

“Well, do you want to start on the bikes again today?”

James snorted a little, but shrugged. “Man, you like those bikes don’t you? Maybe if you agree to ride with us it won’t be so bad.”

Sid rolls his eyes a bit but nods. “I’ll ride with you guys if you really want. I actually like the bikes. Great cardio.”

“Hear that, G? He likes the cardio workouts.”

Geno just makes a slight sound of acknowledgement and Sidney’s gaze slides over to him. Geno was looking at him a little thoughtfully now and he liked it. He offered the man a small smile which was actually returned. It made him feel a little looser and more comfortable as they made their way to the bikes.

He programmed in each of the routes before bending over to make sure his shoes were tied so that he could hop on a bike himself.

“Woah, Sid, what did you get up to this weekend? Those are some massive love grips on your hips.”

Sid flushed and stood up so quickly that he got a bit light headed and had to grab onto the bike to keep his balance. 

“What, no, this is nothing. It’s not what you think, anyways. I just bruise easily.”

James just laughed at him, shaking his head as he started pedaling. “Sure, whatever you say, man. I know handprints when I see them, trust me. Those are some massive hands. You must have been a pretty lucky guy.”

Sid just buried his face in his hands, noting that it was definitely hotter than them. Great, that wasn’t going to help his cause any.

“It’s really not that, I swear.”

James reached out a bit awkwardly at the angle to pat him on the shoulder. “It’s okay Sid, just tell me—do you have a boyfriend? Because that would break my heart.”

He couldn’t help the way his gaze moves to Geno’s who isn’t even looking at him, whose gaze is trained over at the corner on the other side of the room somewhere. Sid is sure that he had to be listening to this conversation which had entirely too much to do with him, but he wasn’t helping out at all. 

Fine, then.

“No, I’m not seeing anyone.”

James makes a sound of triumph and grins a little wider. “That’s good, because I’ve still got a few moves to try out here.”

Sid’s not sure what to make of that, but he just moves to climb onto the bike between the two of them, pedaling slowly. It felt good to be doing something that was so familiar. It felt like it could clear his mind of this entirely too fucked up day.

After maybe five minutes of almost-awkward silence, James speaks again.

“Hey, Sid, is your last name Gillette?”

Sid frowned a bit as he turned his head to face James. The other man already knew what his last name was. It was on his business card and it had been all over the contract they’d signed together.

“No, of course not. Why?”

“Because you’re the best this man can get.”

Geno and Sid groaned together in unison, and it surprised Sid enough that he glanced back over his shoulder to catch Geno’s gaze again. This time Geno didn’t look away.

“Was awful, Nealsy. You need to work on your pickup lines. Didn’t Paulie tell you?”

James was just laughing at his own effort, head thrown back and eyes shining. “Of course he did, but I figured you guys might appreciate it. A guy with a body like this _and_ a great sense of humour? How could anyone resist that?”

Geno broke Sid’s gaze finally, and turned his attention to James. Sidney was forced to finally do the same. “Not funny if it’s just stupid, Nealsy.”

James just made a face at Geno and turned his grin back on Sid.

“You liked it, didn’t you? It was clever.”

Sid just smiled at him and shrugged. “It wasn’t the worst one I’ve ever heard.”

James grinned a little wider; running his fingers through his hair in what Sid could tell was obviously a very deliberate movement. “I’ll take that as a win.”

Geno just huffed a little and pedaled faster. Sidney wanted him to pay attention to him, but it was starting to get frustrating that so much of that attention was Geno being upset with something that Sid had done or that James had said to him. It was obvious that Geno was feeling territorial towards Sidney as his hooker, but that was it. He’d never made a single move towards Sidney as a person outside of the nights they spent together as client and hooker. Not even when he had the chance in moments like this. Sidney needed to get that through his head.

James was the one interested in this version of Sidney. 

He spent another minute or so trying to catch Geno’s gaze, wondering if he could at least get the other man to talk to him, but the whole thing was so incredibly awkward, and he was starting to feel like that desperate guy who just didn’t know how to take a hint.

“Okay, weights now?” He offered after they’d worked on the bike for the full half hour.

James stretched his arms up over his head and nodded, grinning widely. 

“Yeah, and then I think you should join us in the steam room today.”

“Employees don’t really use that with the members,” he tried, glancing away. The last thing he needed was to be pressed alongside a shirtless, barely clothed Geno.

“Come on, personal favour? I’d love to learn more about you, and I’m sure Geno would too. I’m not sure why the big man is being so quiet over there, but he’s usually a big talker. You could learn a lot about the Penguins that way. I can promise you a lot of hilarious stories.”

Sid would have been crazy to give up an opportunity like that. It was practically like being involved in the team, something he’d dreamed about enough. 

“All right. But only if you can lift as much as you’ve been bragging about.”

James’ gin widened and he looked like he knew he’d won.

By the time he was getting undressed and ready for the steam room, Sid couldn’t find it in himself to be embarrassed about the bruises anymore. James had already seen them, and the gym was fairly empty. It was early, and most of the members who liked to use the room didn’t tend to come in until later on. Odds were that they’d have a fairly private time of it as long as they didn’t spend too much time in there. Sid wasn’t planning on spending too much time in there.

Stepping into the room, he was a little relieved to see that his vision was fairly obstructed. The steam was thick and it made breathing just a little harder. He still made his way over to the benches and sat down to wait for Geno and James. They were right behind him and true to form each one of them sat on either side of him, taking the opportunity to press close to him. He wasn’t sure that he wasn’t a little bit being tortured at that point.

But being tortured by two extremely fit, attractive hockey players touching him? That couldn’t be all that bad, could it?

James was talking to him, he should probably be listening to that. He was rambling on about a prank that he and Paulie (he assumed that was Paul Martin) had played on one of the rookies, but it was hard to focus, because a hand that was very familiar was sliding lightly against the outside of his knee. That couldn’t have been by accident. He knew an intentional touch when he felt it. He was a hooker, after all.

“So we took the plug s out of all their sticks and put some pennies in there before we put the plug back in and taped it back up for them. By the time they went to use them, they were rattling all over the ice. It was hilarious!”

Sidney nodded, grinning a little at that. He would have been furious if someone had ever done that to him, but he could see where it would have been funny to see some rookies being pranked like that during practice.

More interesting, though, was Geno’s hand as it slid from his knee up his thigh a little, sliding just under his shorts to make him gasp just a bit.

He didn’t know what the other man was thinking, or why he was doing what he was doing, maybe he thought he was getting a freebie, or maybe them being so close together and wearing so little was confusing him as much as it was confusing Sidney, but he didn’t really want him to stop.

“And then we were going to put some Icy Hot in his jock, but coach didn’t want him out for any games, and that shit can do some serious damage if you’ve got sensitive skin, and nobody really knows how sensitive a guy’s junk can be, right?”

Sidney was just nodding along, spreading his legs just a little bit as Gen’s hand travelled upward, so close to where he wanted him to be touching, when he felt James’ hand on his other knee and just about jumped out of his skin. As it was, he did literally jump up and off the bench.

“Oh! Sorry, you just—surprised me.”

“Sorry, man, you got ticklish knees or something?”

Through the steam, he could see the guilty, confused look on Geno’s face, and the sheepish one on James’.

“Yeah, something like that.”

James just nodded and leaned back where he’s sitting. Sidney sat down on the bench opposite them, turned on and entirely confused. What the hell was going on?

As their time was winding down, Sid moved to standing, running his fingers through his now-damp hair and just listening to Geno and James talk amongst themselves about whatever their team meeting had been about that morning. It was somewhat comforting, and he could almost imagine being a part of the team, just sitting there and listening to the two of them. It really was something. He didn’t want to ruin it, even though it wasn’t real.

“Okay, we shouldn’t stay in here much longer.”

Geno and James both glanced back over at him and moved to stand up.

“Hey, before we go—“ James actually looked a little nervous, which wasn’t a comfortable look on him at all. It made Sidney mirror the feeling in his stomach, It probably couldn’t mean anything good. “Look, I know it probably seems a little sudden, but I’ve been thinking. How would you like to go out for dinner? Nothing serious, just a nice dinner, the two of us?”

Sid just stared at James, his mouth opening and closing a few times. He didn’t know what to say. He should say no. He should definitely say no with Geno standing right there and the feeling of his hand still hot on the inside of his thighs and his fingers still bruised on his hips. He should say no because he’s still thinking about being fucked into the mattress by Geno. HE should say no because he’s still thinking about Geno at all.

He should say no because he’s a hooker and James would probably not be interested in dating Sid-the-hooker.

There are so many reasons why he should say no, and not a single reason why he should say yes, but James is looking at him all tussled hair and wide eyes. He glanced back at Geno who is studiously avoiding his gaze again.

“I… uh,” he honestly didn’t know what to say. Really, though, what harm could one dinner do? He fucked people for a living.

“You don’t have to, if you’re really not interested, I just thought since you weren’t seeing anyone and I’m not seeing anyone, it might be a good chance for both of us to see someone. Just dinner, no commitment, not asking you to marry me.”

Sid flushed a little, feeling a little of the pressure. He was good in high pressured situations usually. That was how he thrived, but he didn’t know how to deal with this one.

Geno still wasn’t looking at him. Not being helpful in the slightest.

“I’m… yeah, all right. Yes. Dinner sounds nice.”

The smile that James gives him is almost blinding, even through the steam, and Sidney almost felt relieved to have agreed to go out with him, just to know that he had pleased the other man that much with just a single yes.

He was sure that he’d regret it later, though.

James left the steam room first, and as the door was swinging shut, Geno reached forward to grab Sid’s forearm.

“Don’t tell Nealsy about our arrangement.”

Sid frowned a little at that. Not what he’d been expecting. Or hoping for, if he were honest with himself. He’d kind of been hoping that maybe Geno would ask him to tell James that he couldn’t go out with him, or maybe that Geno would ask him out himself. Instead--- this.

“I wouldn’t. I’m a professional, remember? That means complete confidence.”

Geno nodded, looking relieved before he released Sid’s arm and steps around him and leaves the room, leaving Sid standing there completely unsure of what was going on in his entire love life.

What had he gotten himself into? Just a few weeks ago he’d been a fan of the Penguins just like everyone else, now he was going to be going out on a date with one, and he was another one’s hooker. He hoped that it wasn’t going to affect their playoff chances.

He was supposed to be meeting Mario tomorrow for their weekly coffee, maybe the other man would be able to put things into better perspective for him. He figured that he might be able to use a better perspective. Any perspective at this point.

He stood in the steam room for a couple of minutes longer, until he was sure that the other two were probably going to be gone, before he headed out himself, and got dressed back into the loose t-shirt and a new pair of shorts and headed back to working with the other members of the gym. He still had a job to do.

The next day when he made his way to the café, Mario was already waiting for him, just like normal. Normal. Something Sid’s life had been lacking lately. He was already feeling a little bit of relief just from that little bit of familiarity. He slid into the booth across from him and offered the other man a half a smile.

“It’s good to see you, Mario.”

Mario just raised a brow at the overly enthusiastic greeting and sipped his coffee. “I can tell. You look a little worse for wear. Still having a rough time of it with your Penguin?”

Sid breathed out a heavy sigh. Good, he was glad that they weren’t going to have to exchange all of those unnecessary necessities before they got to the real heart of what was bothering him. Mario had always been really good at that, and he was especially grateful for it right now.

“It’s more complicated than that. There are two of them now.”

Mario frowned at that, his brows furrowing deeply. “What do you mean two of them? I didn’t refer you any new clients. Have you been taking on more on your own?”

Sid shook his head quickly. “No, it’s not like that. The second one isn’t a client—not like that anyways. He came into the gym, he’s a member there now. Wanted me to be his trainer at the gym, and then he brought Geno in and now Geno knows where I work, and then he asked me out and I said yes, and it’s all very complicated.”

Mario just stared at him a minute before shaking his head and running his fingers through his hair, the silence between them lingering for just a minute.

“You’re going to have to elaborate a little, because that didn’t make much sense. You’re telling me one of the Penguins just happened to come into the gym where you work, then they happened to bring in the one Penguin you have as a client and then they asked you out on a date and you actually said yes? You don’t even date, Sid. I’ve never even seen you go out on a date. Do you know how to date?”

Sidney slumped a little in his seat, shaking his head and burying his face in his coffee as he sipped it deeply.

“I know, I don’t know why I said yes, and I know it sounds insane, but that’s my life lately. What should I do? Geno was there and I was kind of on the spot—I didn’t know what else to say, so I just said yes. It’s just dinner, though, so I don’t think I have anything to be worried about. I don’t have to tell James that I’m a—you know, I doubt that’s going to come up.”

Mario just sighed at him again and shook his head.

“Do you like this man? Are you interested in dating him now? I thought you had… feelings for Geno?”

Sid just shrugged a little and sighed himself. “I don’t know. I’m confused about Geno. He’s hot one minute and cold the next. I think he likes me when he’s my client, but he didn’t seem too interested in me when he was just a member at my gym. Not the way that James was. Maybe I’d be better off finally trying to date someone who was interested in Sidney?”

He phrased it like a question because he was still questioning it himself.

Mario just looked a little pitying himself. “Maybe, I guess you owe it to yourself to try being Sidney for a little while. Try dating this James and see if you like it—see if you like him. Are you going to stop hooking? Do you want me to get your clients hooked up with a new guy?”

Sidney sat up straighter, frowning. “No, of course not. I’m not quitting my job just because I’m going to try dating someone. If I like it and if I decide to tell him about it at any point, he’ll just have to deal with it.

Mario just shrugged a little and reached across the table to pat at Sidney’s hand where it was wrapped tightly around his coffee mug. “Yes, of course. You’ll work it out. Just give this new guy a chance. If nothing else, I’m sure it’ll help you work a few things out. Just be careful about this stuff with Geno. It could get complicated with two guys from one team.”

Sidney just nodded. “I know. I wouldn’t want to mess up their playoff chances.”

Mario laughed at that. “Not really what I meant, but that’s a good point, too.”

By the time Sidney left Mario alone at the safe he felt a little bit lighter, sure that his date with James would at least clear up a little of his confusion. Maybe all he needed was a chance to just be Sidney Crosby for a night. Maybe he just needed to get it out of his system before he could go back to being his real self.


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The One Where James Dates Sidney in the Most Awkward Way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a backlog of chapters now, since I write a lot more when my team is losing and they're on a current losing streak :c So they'll be coming pretty regularly now.
> 
> James has become a lot of fun to write and the next few chapters have a lot less smut in them than the ones before them, but have a lot more interesting interactions.

Thankfully for Sidney, Geno and James were stuck on a two week road trip and he wasn’t forced to face either one of them for the short term. His life returned to its normal routine of just going to his usual appointments and seeing his usual clients and being fucked in all the usual, familiar ways. Nothing exciting or out of the ordinary there. He could deal with that.

It had been quiet at the gym, too, he’d been relegated to helping with more of the wealthy moms looking to get back into trophy wife shape as a sort of punishment from his coworkers for having landed two of the best members they’d had in a while. It wasn’t a big deal—they’d done the same thing to another one of their coworkers when he’d landed the couple of Pirates who had come in before, and Sid didn’t really mind working with the moms. They talked a lot, but he could tune them out easily enough, just nodding when the time called for it. They didn’t really even expect him to talk back that much. 

James had taken to texting him a couple of times, though, and that had been a bit shocking at first, to get a text from a number he hadn’t recognized, but it had been easy enough to figure it out when the text had just said something about making the Coyotes their bitches, so he assumed that they were coming from James.

He’d even got a couple of texts from Geno, one setting up their next appointment, something he hadn’t been sure was still going to be happening now that he was going to dinner with James, and then the response after he’d agreed to it, which had just been a couple of parentheses which he assumed were good. He’d seen Geno use them a few times on Twitter. Not that he checked Twitter regularly or anything. He wasn’t always that kind of fan, but sometimes he was a little curious.

Sid wasn’t sure exactly what was going on with the dinner that James had planned for them. He hadn’t even been sure that it was still going to happen. A two week road trip was a long time; maybe he’d gained some perspective and had decided that he wasn’t really interested in having dinner with Sid after all. To be honest, Sidney wasn’t sure what he wanted to happen. He thought that Mario might be right (he usually was), and he might just need the chance to be Sidney for a night instead of Patrick. It might be good to just get it out of his system and then he could just go back to normal without having to think about it anymore. It might even help with his weird obsession with Geno, who knew.

Fortunately, he didn’t really have _that_ much time to obsess over it, because it seemed like as soon as the game with the Sharks was over, James was texting him again, this time with the name of a restaurant that he’s familiar with the name of, but that he’d never been to. It was one of the fancier places in Pittsburgh, somewhere that Sid knew he’d be expected to wear a suit and tie, and he wondered if that was how James wined and dined all of his dates. Probably, given that he was a whole Hell of a lot better off than the average person. It wasn’t like he needed to save up to take someone to an Applebees or something.

He texted him back agreeing to meet him at the restaurant at seven just two days later and sighed a bit to himself as he pushed off of the couch and headed up to his room to check his closet, making sure that his suit was still clean and pressed.

If he was going to do this, he was going to do it the right way. He’d had a few clients who had really wanted to do the whole façade before, eating out before heading back to their place for sex before, so Sidney always made sure that he had a nice suit ready, just in case he had a situation call for it. 

By the time the day actually rolled around, Sidney wasn’t even that nervous. He thrived in high pressured situations, and he would definitely count this as one. Aside from time he spent with Mario, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d spent time alone with someone talking about anything that had to do with himself. It was all right, though, because he had a plan for that. He was just going to let James talk about himself as much as possible. He seemed like the kind of guy who could fill the silence, and that was a good thing. Sidney could appreciate that.

When he arrived at the restaurant, ten minutes early, James wasn’t there yet. A little bit annoying to Sidney, but he had to remember that James wasn’t the same as him, and he didn’t have Mario in his ear telling him about Sidney’s quirks the way that Geno probably did. That was why Geno probably would have been there early. He shouldn’t have been thinking about Geno, that wasn’t going to help anything go normally on this date. James probably deserved better than that, anyways.

The valet took his car and he stepped into the restaurant and allowed the maître d’ to seat him at the table that James had reserved for them. It was a nice table, private and away from everyone else in the restaurant. It was thoughtful of James, and it also reminded Sidney that for all of James’ flirting and everything at the gym, the other man wasn’t actually out of the closet. It was hard to imagine, given how hard he’d actually been flirting with Sidney, but he was a professional hockey player. He probably got away with that sort of thing all the time.

At seven right on the dot, James strode over to the table, a confident, cocky look on his face. His hair was styled nicely and he was wearing a nice suit that Sidney would be willing to bet was actually not one of his game day suits and he looked… good. He looked very charming. Sidney offered him a smile as he approached him.

“You’re early. Or am I late?”

Sidney shook his head a little, gesturing for James to sit down. “I was early. I’m usually early. I don’t like to miss anything.”

James sat opposite him and reached for his glass of water, swallowing half of it down in one gulp. 

“It feels like it’s been a while since I saw you last, eh?”

Sidney nodded in agreement even though it hadn’t really been that long. Mostly it felt like it had just been a while since his life had been flipped upside down by the James Neal/Evgeni Malkin mix up.

“So how was the road trip?” Seemed like a safe enough topic to start off the night.

“You didn’t watch?” James sounded a little surprised and maybe a little hurt at that.

Sidney had watched every game, despite his own promise to himself that he was going to try to back away from hockey in an attempt to separate himself from the whole mess when he wasn’t actually in the middle of it.

“I did, obviously I know what the scores were like but I meant—well, I guess I mean what was it like from your perspective.”

James grins a little lopsidedly at him then. “Oh, well it was good. We were over .500 on the trip, which puts coach in a better mood. Puts the guys in a better mood, too. Winning records put everyone in a better mood. Geno was a bit weird, though. He didn’t even go out with us when we were in LA and he usually loves LA,” he paused for a second, his cheeks colouring a little, “not that _I_ partied hard in LA or anything, but we went out and got a bit drunk. They’re not easy to beat there, so getting a winning record in that division is a pretty big deal nowadays.”

Sidney wasn’t sure what part of their conversation James was trying to backtrack on, until he thought about it a little more and realized that the other man was almost trying to apologize for going out with his team—like he thought that Sidney was going to be upset with him for going out to a club or something.

All of a sudden this felt a little more serious than just a dinner out.

“But it was a great time. Flower is always a lot of fun, but especially once you get him a little drunk. Sometimes he flirts with the rookies and it freaks them out. He doesn’t mean anything by it, he’s married and everything, but it’s hilarious. He’s French, you know. I think that’s really the part that freaks them out.”

Sidney nodded, even as their waiter finally stopped by their table to take their orders. He just ordered his usual grilled chicken, plain, garden salad on the side. James, though, ordered something that Sidney was absolutely sure went off his meal plan for sure, and when the waiter walked away from them, he couldn’t help himself.

“Are you sure it’s all right for you to eat that?”

James’ whole face turned a little red, all the way to the tips of his ears before he just shrugged. “It’s a special occasion. I get one cheat day a week.”

Sidney just nodded, leaning back in his chair. He didn’t really think a date counted as a special occasion at all. “You’ll have to work it off in a gym tomorrow or something, wouldn’t want it affecting your game. I hope you don’t eat like that on all your cheat days.”

He wasn’t really trying to bust James’ balls, but he did take his own diet very seriously, it was important to take care of his body, and he was helping James in the long run.

“Of course not—I mean, I work it off on the ice, anyways. Man, you’re a real ball buster.”

Sidney felt himself flush just a little at that and shrugged, noting that James still looked a little flustered himself. He was obviously aware that he was doing something a little wrong, so Sidney would count it as a win.

“So tell me more about the bar?”

James blinked a little in surprise before he launched back into the story about how Paul Martin had tricked Beau Bennett into trying a few truly awful shots named after graphic sexual positions.

“So, Sidney, tell me something about yourself that I don’t already know. How about… what do you like to do for fun?”

Sidney’s brows furrowed, and he just shrugged a little. He didn’t really do a lot of things just for the sake of doing them. He liked doing things that had a purpose. That was really just how he worked.

“I like working out. But you already know that. I have a little gym in my house, that’s how I keep up my workout when I’m not at the gym, I only work nine to five, not really enough hours to keep up the kind of routine I need.”

James just nodded, leaning back when the waiter finally returned with their food. “I kind of already knew that, though. How about… let’s try something else. How about where did you come from?”

Sidney could deal with that. That was an easy enough question. Lots of people knew that about him. None of his clients, of course. Not Geno.

“I was born and raised in Cole Harbour, Nova Scotia. So… I’m Canadian.”

He already knew that James was Canadian, too, but he could pretend that this was just like any other date and like he didn’t know that if they wanted to do that.

James was beaming at him a little bit.

“I knew that there was a bit of a Canadian accent I heard in your voice. I don’t know if you know, but I’m Canadian, too. I’m from Whitby, Ontario. Pretty cool, eh?”

Sidney just nodded a little as he glanced down at his food and unfolded his napkin on his lap so that he could start cutting his chicken up. It wasn’t really all that cool. Whitby was nowhere near Cole Harbour. It wasn’t like they had been surprise neighbours when they’d been younger or something like that.

“Yeah, cool.”

James’ expression fell a little, and Sidney felt a bit guilty about that, even as he took the first bite of his chicken, pleased that it wasn’t dry at all. Good, someone back there had known what they were doing.

“Why don’t you tell me a little about yourself? What kind of stuff are you into now?” He figured that maybe James would have an easier time talking about it than he’d had.

After swallowing the bite of his truly huge steak, James offered Sidney a grin and nodded. “Yeah, okay. I guess there’s not that much stuff. I just live alone for right now. Across the street from Paulie, though. He serves a great breakfast, if that ever… comes up.”

There’s a pause that couldn’t be described as anything other than truly awkward, and Sid takes another bite of his chicken just to have an excuse not to answer a question that’s not quite there. He didn’t even know how to tell James that he’d never, in his whole life, spent the night with someone that he’d had sex with, and he had no plans to change that up any time in the future. Sleeping was the most vulnerable he’s ever been in his life, and he didn’t think there’s any need to do that around another person. He’s never seen the purpose.

“I like on-ice workouts better than the gym workouts—unless they’re with you. You make the gym workouts worth it, I swear.”

Another one of those winning grins, and they did make Sid feel a little more comfortable, the more he saw them. It was confusing.

“I was confused when I got traded from Dallas. I never wanted the trade, but it was good for me. I get a lot of ice time here and I’ve obviously had a lot of success here. I got lucky, I guess. A chance to play with someone like Geno who is probably the best in the world.”

Of course, Geno. Who was definitely the best in the world. It was part of why Sidney was so drawn to him, he was sure. Sidney had always had a thing about guys who were ridiculously talented. He should have known that they weren’t going to make it through the night without one or both of them bringing him up.

“What’s it like, playing with him?”

Now that the door was open…

“It’s exactly like what it looks like. He distracts so many people on the ice that it makes it so much easier to play. Hardly anyone ever covers me; I get twice as many scoring chances when I play on a line with him than when I’m not. Plus I get to see all of his magic up close and personal. It’s amazing.”

James sounded as awed by Geno as Sid was, and he couldn’t help but wonder how much of that they actually shared. But he imagined that if James was actually as awed by Geno as much as he was, then he wouldn’t be wasting his time wining and dining Sidney.

He hadn’t realized that he’d completely stopped eating while James had been talking about Geno, and took a couple of bites of his chicken in quick succession to compensate for that, trying not to look too suspicious. 

“That sounds amazing,” he said honestly, after he’d swallowed.

James just nodded, taking another big bite of his steak before moving on to his stack of mashed potatoes. 

“It is. Of course I’m pretty amazing too, you know. I had a forty goal season last year. That was pretty impressive.”

It had been. Sidney had thought about James Neal a couple of times when he’d jerked off after a few games last season. He really did have a thing for the really talented guys.

“I saw. You were really good. Do you think you’ll get back up to that this year?”

James scowled just a little down at the potatoes before going back to his steak.

“Yes, of course. I’m not planning to settle for being any less than the best I can be. I don’t train all summer to be just okay.”

Sidney nodded. He understood that. “Of course. I look forward to seeing more of that.”

Another silence lingered between them while they both worked at their plates of food. It wasn’t awkward like it had been before. Sidney was thinking about Geno and about James and wondering what it might have been like if he’d had this before he’d met Geno as his client. Would he have enjoyed being just Sidney out on a date more if he hadn’t known what it could be like to be with Geno?

“So tell me, do I have any shot with you at all? I can’t really read you.”

Sidney was shocked by the question and looked up at James whose expression was a real mixed bag that he couldn’t really read. He felt guilty for sure. He was enjoying himself, and this was really nice. He didn’t have anything against this, and he thought that maybe he could really come to like this if he could ever get Geno out of his mind.

“I… don’t know. I mean, I wasn’t really looking for a relationship or anything when you asked me out, so this is still a bit of a surprise to me.”

He at least owes James that kind of honesty.

“I’m not saying that we have to move into relationship territory or anything, not right away. We could take this as slow as you wanted to. I just think that there _could_ be something between us, you know? If we just gave it a bit of a shot. We owe it to ourselves. I don’t meet a lot of people that I want to give it a real shot with, you know? So just give me a shot if I’ve got even the smallest bit of one with you. I promise you won’t regret it. We’ll take it really slow.”

It’s hard to look at James, then, because he knew that if James really knew him, knew that he wasn’t just Sidney the regular guy from the gym, he probably wouldn’t be begging him for another shot at a date. But there was something about the look in his eyes--- what harm was there in giving this a shot? He’d always thought that he’d never have a shot like this. That there would never be anyone who would be interested in boring Sidney, anyways, so he should probably be taking advantage of this chance. It didn’t mean that he had to give up any other aspect of himself, just that he’d have to be more careful.

A lot of people had careers and relationships, and James said that they could move slowly. If it didn’t work with them, he could just end it before it became anything. Mario would probably tell him to give it a shot. It wasn’t like he had any other prospects.

“All right. We can give it a shot—but taking it slow. That’s a thing that needs to happen, all right? I’m not just going to jump in bed with you because you’re talented and have nice hair.”

James beamed at him. “You think I have nice hair?”

Sidney gave him a _look_. “Please, I know you have to spend at least an hour styling that mop before you leave the house.”

The other man just shrugged, looking entirely too pleased with himself.

Sidney guiltily couldn’t help himself from wondering if this meant that he’d get a chance to see more of Geno.

The rest of their dinner is fairly uneventful, Sidney finished his chicken and salad and had to resist ordering dessert, only because he remembered what he’d said to James about watching his diet, and because he remembered that he had a nice full drawer of chocolate bars back at home that he could help himself to. That wasn’t really going against his diet. He really would work it off, and he’d watched his diet at dinner.

When they were finished, James followed him out of the restaurant, and they were both waiting for their cars at the valet booth when James gave him a bit of an apologetic grin. 

“I know we’re going slow, so you’ll have to forgive me, but I’ve been really curious about this since the beginning.”

And then he leaned in and brushed his lips against Sidney’s in what has to be the most chaste kiss that he has ever been given. Except for the brush of tongue against his barely parted lips right at the end there.

Sidney was just staring at him a little dumbly, his lips tingling a bit and his face a little warm as he blinked up at the other man in surprise.

“Sorry I’m not really sorry.”

Sidney just blinked himself out of his surprised stupor before shaking his head at James.

“That was sneaky, Nealsy. You’re lucky I’ll let that one pass for now.”

“Yeah, well, you should be feeling lucky too. You know how many girls hold up signs asking me to take them to prom every game?”

Sidney just rolls his eyes as he spots his car pulling up to the booth. 

“I’m not asking you to prom.”

James just shrugged a little, still grinning and looking entirely too pleased with himself. Very kid with his hand in the cookie jar. “That’s you’re loss, I guess. I’d say yes, you know!”

Sid just made a face at him and switched places with the valet driver.

“I’ll see you later, Nealsy. Thanks for dinner.”

Waving at him, Nealsy just walked over to his own car, leaving Sid to pull away from the restaurant feeling about a hundred times more confused than he had when he’d agreed to the date in the first place.


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Working on fixing some of the plot problems that have been pointed out to me. It requires a bit of revising the chapters I have waiting to be posted, but hopefully won't stunt posting time! c:

Falling asleep after that date had been something of an escapade for Sidney. He hadn’t been able to stop thinking about James’ lips on his, and how they’d felt nice and soft, but how the feeling had felt so different from Geno’s which had also felt warm and soft and nice, but had always made him feel hot and sent him into a bit of a frenzied urgency.

James had just made him feel comfortable and safe. 

He hadn’t felt like that before. He didn’t usually let people kiss him, though, and never when he wasn’t being paid for it. That was a whole new experience for him. He’d just been a teenager the last time that had happened.

He wasn’t sure that he liked it as much when he wasn’t being paid for it. There was something about being paid for it that made it… familiar. And good, too. Or maybe it would just take some getting used to. Maybe if he let James kiss him a lot when he wasn’t being paid for it, it would get better. Maybe he would feel that sense of urgency like what he felt with Geno.

Whatever it was, the whole situation had him on edge.

The next night was his appointment with Geno, and he’d been looking forward to it since his date with James. Had wondered if Geno would take the chance to tell him that they couldn’t do it anymore if he was going to be dating his winger. It would make sense, especially if Geno didn’t want to mess up the team chemistry, or whatever. But Sid didn’t really want that to be the case. As much as he liked James and had enjoyed their slightly awkward date, he really didn’t want to sacrifice his time with Geno to repeat it.

By the time he knocked on Geno’s hotel room door and the other man was answering it, he was feeling a bit anxious. Geno was already shirtless, though, which seemed to bode well for Sid. He couldn’t help but to take in the sight of the other man a little hungrily. It really did feel like it had been a long time since he’d last seen him. 

Sid spent no time at all before pushing his way into the room, shrugging off his coat and tugging off his scarf, licking his lips.

“Sorry that I’m a little late. Traffic was really bad.”

Geno just shook his head, turning back towards Sid, a drink in his hand that he was already drinking. “Not really worried about it. Knew you would show up. You haven’t let me down yet.”

Sid felt his cheeks warm a little in pleasure at that, and nodded, kicking off his shoes.

“Did you have a plan for tonight?”

Geno just shrugged a little, stepping forward and slotting his lips over Sid’s, kissing him deeply, the taste of the vodka almost overpowering. He didn’t mind it, it made Geno’s lips a little sticky and he licked at them, before sucking the taste away slowly, enjoying the hum of approval that seemed to start in Geno’s abdomen before rumbling out of him. 

Slowly, though, and definitely unfortunately, Geno pulled away from him, pushing hair away from his face before he took another long swig of the vodka in his hand. This close, Sid could see that he’d probably had more of it than usual. His cheeks were flush from it, and his pupils a little dilated. It was strange that he’d been drinking before their appointment. Maybe he was nervous? But what could he be nervous about? Unless he really was going to tell Sidney that he was going to look for another guy to take his place.

Sidney’s palms began to sweat a little.

“You all right?”

“I’m fine. Didn’t really have a plan for tonight except thought maybe we wouldn’t fuck. Thought maybe just kissing and maybe we could… talk.”

Sidney froze a little, frowning slightly. He didn’t usually do a lot of talking with his clients. Well, actually, he’d once had this one older client who had just paid him to sit and listen to him talk for hours. He’d paid him for months to do that, and all because he’d been a lonely old man. It hadn’t been much work for Sidney and he’d gone along with it for a long time before the man had finally moved on to another boy, clearly having gotten what he needed out of Sid. He hadn’t cared for it much, it had been pretty boring, but it wasn’t like sex was always the most exciting thing in the world, and it could be pretty good to mix it up a little.

“You want to talk?”

Geno’s brows furrowed but he was nodding slowly.

“If it’s okay with you? I’m paying so it’s my choice, yes?”

Sidney just nodded at that, his stomach flipping a little at the reminder of Geno paying him. He liked that, sometimes he just needed a little bit of a reminder.

“Yes, of course.”

“I want you to tell me about your date with Nealsy.”

Sidney flushed at that, definitely frowning now. That wasn’t what he’d thought Geno had in mind when he’d said something about talking. He’d imagined listening to Geno rant about his teammates or maybe dirty talking or something like that. He hadn’t thought that it would be something personal about him.

“Didn’t he tell you about it?”

“Yeah, but Nealsy likes to lie sometimes, so I want to hear it from you. Is it a problem?”

Sidney shook his head, licking his lips as he stared at Geno who was drinking deeply from his glass again.

“No, I can tell you about it if you want, but it’s probably going to be the same as he told you.”

He couldn’t tell if that pleased Geno or not. Regardless, he wanted to be sitting down when he told the story, so he made his way over to the bed and sat down on the edge, crossing one leg over the other.

“It’s not very exciting, really. It was your usual, basic first date. He took me to dinner, talked about the roadtrip, where we were from, where we are now, then had our dinner—he had a pretty big steak and I think I offended him when I told him that it was probably going to make him fat, and then I went home. Alone.”

Geno nodded, licking his lips as he watched Sidney, moving to sit beside him.

“Did he kiss you? He said he kissed you.”

Sidney hesitated a little. That was getting a little more personal than he thought was strictly necessary, but it was _Geno_ asking him. 

“Yeah, he kissed me. It was just a small, short kiss though. Hardly any tongue. It was even out in public, so it was pretty fast.”

He didn’t know why he was so fast to defend it, but he felt like it needed to be defended.

That frown was still on Geno’s face, but he was leaning in now, putting his drink on the bedside table as he framed Sidney’s face with his hands and covering his mouth with his own as he kissed him slowly on the mouth. It was a careful kiss, more careful than any of their kisses had been before, and it made warmth spread through him from where their mouths were joined all the way through his body to his fingers and toes. 

It was a great kiss. He made a soft sound into it, trying to press himself just a little closer to Geno.

“Like that?” The other man was asking, and he had to blink a few times to understand what was being asked of him.

“No, that was—that was more than his kiss was.”

“Show me, then. Show me what his kiss was.”

Sidney had no idea what they were doing, it felt like they were probably doing something wrong (or at least that he was probably doing something wrong), but he leaned forward anyways, cupping Geno’s cheek lightly with one of his hands and brushing his lips over the other man’s lightly in a chaste kiss with just a trace of his tongue against the barely parted lips.

“It was like that,” he whispered against Geno’s lips.

His client nodded as he pulled back, and they just stared at each other a moment, both breathing a little heavier.

There was definitely this chemistry between the two of them, like nothing Sid had ever felt before, and he wondered why it was just with Geno that he was experiencing it. Why he’d never felt like this with anyone else before.

“What did you tell him about yourself?”

“Just that I’m Canadian,” he said after a long moment. He didn’t like to talk about himself with his clients. There was a line that he didn’t like to cross. It seemed important to keep Sidney and Patrick two separate people, but Geno had already blurred that line. “I’m from Nova Scotia. I like to work out a lot, I have a gym in my house—it’s in my basement.”

Geno nodded, the slightest hint of a grin on his lips.

“That’s all?”

Sidney nodded. “That’s all. He talked about himself a little. I didn’t want to talk that much.”

Leaning in again, Geno kissed him softly on the mouth. “I’m from Magnitogorsk. That’s in Russia.”

Sidney blinked in surprise before he grinned a bit against Geno’s lips. He hadn’t expected Geno to reciprocate any of the knowledge exchange, but it felt good that he was. He’d already know that bit of information, but it was still something.

“I have a sister. She plays hockey like I used to,” Sid said after hesitating for a second.

Geno sucks his bottom lip into his mouth, his fingers sliding against the nape of his neck to graze blunt nails against the sensitive skin there.

“Have a brother. He plays hockey, too.”

Sidney let out a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding. That meant something. It meant something that they were sharing personal information. It had to. He hadn’t done this before, but he was sure it meant something.

“Why did you stop playing hockey, Sid?”

Their foreheads were still pressed together, breaths mingling.

“Got hit in the head too many times,” he said after a pregnant pause, not sure if he was ready to answer that question. “Too many concussions. It was too dangerous for me. Had to pick my life over hockey. I still play a little, though. Pickup games in the winter, mostly, I have some friends who let me join in, no contact stuff.”

Geno’s lips turned down in a bit of a frown before he brushed his nose against Sid’s. His free hand was sliding up against Sid’s side, though still over his side. He couldn’t help but wonder how they were going to manage to abide by the no sex agreement Geno had put forth at the beginning of the night. “Bet you were good. You still have a hockey ass.”

Sid let out an awkward bark of laughter against their lips, but didn’t argue that. He’d been really good, and he knew it.

“I’m still pretty good. Better than any of them, at least.”

“Maybe you play with me one day.”

He smiled against Geno’s lips and felt comfortable for the first time in a while. It was weird, what they were doing, and Sid knew it. But he didn’t want it to stop.

“Need to score fifty goals this season or I’ll be letting the team down,” Geno finally said, his voice quiet, and Sidney lifted his hand to thread his fingers through the other man’s hair.

“You will. You’re the best player in the world. You’ll score sixty just to spite everyone, I’m sure of it.”

Geno grinned a little at that. “So confident, Sid. You come to watch?”

Sidney shrugged a little. “Maybe I will one of these days.”

Geno’s hands were cupping his face again and he barely had enough time to catch his breath before the other man was kissing it out of him, all tongue and teeth and no finesse at all. He didn’t mind at all.

They sat like that for what felt like hours, but was probably only about a half an hour, before they finally pulled apart, breathing heavily. Sidney’s hand was toying lightly with the hem of Geno’s shirt and he was itching to slide it underneath, to feel the hardness of his chest under his fingers again, but Geno was already pulling away from him a little.

“You really don’t want sex tonight?”

Geno just shook his head.

“No, just wanted this, just wanted to know Sid a little better.”

Sid flushed a little and shifted awkwardly.

“I should tell you—James asked me to go out with him again.”

Geno nodded, glancing away, his hand falling from Sidney’s face. He missed it immediately.

“I know. He told me.”

“I just thought you should know.”

“Just don’t tell him about this, right?”

Sid nodded, swallowing hard. “I wouldn’t. I’m very professional.”

Nodding at that, Geno leaned in and kissed Sid once more before reaching into the bedside table and grabbing for the thick envelope of cash.

“Good, that’s the most important thing.”

Sidney nodded in agreement. “I promise, we can keep doing this as long as you want, I won’t break your confidence.”

Geno tilted his head to the side a little. “Even if you’re dating Nealsy, that won’t bother you?”

Sid frowned a little. “No, this is my job. I’m not going to stop just because I’m dating someone.”

“But you’re not going to tell him?”

Sid rolled his eyes a little. “I don’t think James seems like the kind of guy who would really understand right now, do you?”

Geno shook his head. “No, I don’t think so. Don’t really want the team to know, either.”

Sid couldn’t really blame Geno. Who would want their team to know that they’d been fucking a hooker for the last few weeks? The hooker their other teammate had been dating? It sounded like a bad soap opera.

“No, I understand. So you still want to do this?”

Geno looked a little surprised by the question and reached out for Sid’s wrist, pulling him in a little closer. It was a strange thing to do, but Sid couldn’t find a reason to argue with the closeness. He enjoyed it too much.

“Of course. Paid for it, didn’t I? Don’t you still want it?”

“I do.”

Geno nodded firmly and tilted his chin up so that he could kiss Sidney soundly once more. 

“Good, then we’re not stopping.”

“We’ll see each other a lot more often, I imagine. If James brings me with him places—and at the gym. I hope that won’t be too weird for you,” he said after swallowing hard.

Geno just shook his head, licking lightly at Sid’s lips. “Is always a treat to see Sid.”

He wondered why, if it were always a treat to see him, Geno wasn’t interested in him outside of these encounters. It just made everything so much more confusing for him. He was already so confused that he thought he might be setting a new record for it.

“It’s always a treat to see you, too.”

Leaving was a little awkward for Sidney that night, he wasn’t sure what he’d been thinking, agreeing to date James when he was clearly still feeling _things_ for Geno. He was definitely worried now that he was going to mess up their chances to make the playoffs. Or to win the Cup. He couldn’t do either of those things, and maybe he wouldn’t do either of them, as long as he could keep his mouth closed. HE would just have to be his usual professional self.

Once he made his way home, he kicked off his shoes and hung up his coat and scarf, made his way to the kitchen for his usual peanut butter and jelly sandwich even though it hadn’t been anything like his usual appointment. Some things still needed to stay the same.

He made his way up to his room, unbuttoning his shirt and tossing it in his hamper, his pants following. He was in desperate need of a shower, and he went into the washroom, turning on the faucet and letting the water run until it was hot enough for him and he could step under the hard stream.

To be honest, he was still a little hard from all that kissing with Geno. It was strange, kissing had never really had that impact on him before, but why should he be surprised that anything with Geno had a stronger impact on him nowadays? He’d been kissed more the last two days than he’d been in the last month, and he didn’t have it in him to be upset about that.

Reaching down he wrapped his fingers around his cock, stroking himself slowly and almost leisurely under the stream of the water. He wasn’t in a rush, but it was always easier to do when he was doing it just for the simple sake of getting off at the end of the night. And tonight he really needed to just get off.

He tightened his grip a little and twisted his wrist, his thumb working just under the head where he was the most sensitive as he tilted his head and let the water spray over his face and down his neck, warming his whole body. He almost felt like he wanted to finger himself, to be a little full of something, but he was already doing this here, now, and it would be too awkward in this position, and so he stroked himself a little faster, biting down at his bottom lip as he let his hand come up and work around the now slippery head of his cock, spreading the precome around a little, making for a stickier movement when he twisted his wrist back down and tightened his grip just a little and really began to stroke for the sake of getting off. 

He could easily remember the feel of Geno’s lips against his, intent and hard, kissing the breath out of him, sucking and biting at his lips until they were swollen and red. It had been enough to make him hot all over and it was enough to mimic that feel right now. Almost unbidden came the thought of James’ lips against his, soft and almost shy, warming him in a similar way, and he shuddered a little. It was almost too much to think about, the two of them kissing him, and he had a lot in his mind that he could think about if he needed to imagine Geno’s fingers moving over his body, moving inside of him, and he couldn’t help the way his legs spread a little, and he ached just a bit for it, wishing that they’d gotten to the actual fucking that night. He could have gone for it.

He wondered idly what it might be like if James asked to fuck him, but that was too much to wonder about when he was just trying to get off in the shower.

It only took a few more strokes like that, intent and even, all the way from root to tip before he was coming, spilling hotly over his fist with a shuddering groan. He leaned heavily against the wall of the shower stall before turning his body so that he could rinse himself off and then get on with the rest of his shower, washing his hair and then the rest of his body, feeling a lot better and a lot more capable of concentrating on the day ahead.

Things were about to get a whole lot more complicated and possibly awkward, and he needed to be ready for it.


	8. Chapter Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And some awkward aftermath from the date. Then with more awkwardness piled on top of it.

The next time Geno and James strode into the gym, Sidney was ready for them. He’d prepared himself for it, and was standing ready by the door for them as they stepped inside, a small grin on his face. For maybe the first time, he was honestly glad to see them both. Maybe not both of them at the same time, but he was going to have to get used to it, and this was a good chance to practice that.

“Geno, Nealsy, it’s good to see you. Great game last night. Sorry about that overtime goal, though.”

Geno just made a face and James shrugged as they all made their way back towards the locker room.

“Can’t win them all. The Wings are a good team, and it’s hard as shit to stop Datsyuk when he comes through the middle like that. I think he’s cheating somehow.”

Sid laughed a little and shook his head, glancing over at Geno. “You can’t hate it that much, he’s going to be playing with you for the Olympics, right?”

Geno blinked a little in surprise at Sidney talking to him directly, before he nodded. “Is the only real upside to being dangled by him, really.”

Sid nodded and leaned against the wall as he glanced away while they changed into more gym appropriate clothes.

“I figured we could start with the treadmills today. It’s a little different than the bikes, so you can’t complain as much.”

James made a face at that, but stepped forward, very intentionally brushing his fingers against Sidney’s cheek. “I guess, but it’ll make it harder for us to have a conversation with you, too. Harder to talk while we’re running.”

Sidney flushed at the touch, feeling himself warm from where James’ fingers had brushed against him, but nodded. That had actually been a part of his plan. He figured the less they could talk, the less confusing it would be for him.

“You coming, Geno?” He asked, turning to glance at the other man who was just pulling his shirt over his head. Not quickly enough that Sidney didn’t get a complete eyeful of his chest, enough to make his mouth go a little dry. 

“Yeah, coming,” Geno mumbled, walking up and brushing past Sidney, close enough that their arms brushed together in what could almost be perceived as an accidental contact, but which he was pretty sure was fairly intentional.

Yes, he could still do this. All touching aside, they were going to be in a very public space and the two Penguins were going to be running on treadmills for a half hour. That was going to make them fairly harmless to him. Or so he was hoping. He was pretty much putting all of his eggs in that basket.

As he followed them out to the area of the gym that had the treadmills in it, he couldn’t help but notice that he had been appreciating the view from behind both of them—who wouldn’t have been? And he flushed a little. He should probably be ashamed of himself a little bit, but in his situation there wasn’t really any shame left to go around. Not when he was busy being a part of the lives of both men.

“These treadmills do fine for us, how about you, Sid? Or are you planning to watch us from behind all day?”

Of course James would be the one who would realize, and Sidney flushed darker, all the way down past hias neck as he glared a little at the other man.

“I’m not—oh, just get on the treadmill, Nealsy.”

James stepped closer to him instead, until they were separated by barely a breath and Sidney found that he could hardly breathe, his gaze fixed firmly on the man in front of him even though it desperately wanted to slide over and catch Geno who was obviously in an awkward situation.

“I wish I could kiss you right here,” James murmured, their lips almost touching.

Sid leaned back a little, licking his own lips nervously.

“We’re in public and that’s not really taking it slow at all, you know.”

James nodded, stepping back and towards the treadmill. Sidney used the opportunity to let his glance slide over to Geno who looked exactly like Sid felt. Like his stomach might have fallen completely out of his body.

But then he was moving, too, and stepping onto his treadmill, and Sidney was the only one standing completely still.

“You going to program these things for us, or what?” James’ voice knocked him out of whatever fog he’d been in, and Sidney nodded, stepping over to program James’ first before moving over to Geno’s and fumbling just a little. Geno’s fingers came up, brushing against his lightly and together they got his done, too. Sidney caught his gaze and they shared an awkward smile that he had absolutely no idea what it meant.

“Okay, you’re all set. Go ahead and run.”

“What, are you just going to stand there and watch us?” James asked as he began jogging on the machine.

Sid shrugged, grinning just a little. “That’s my job.”

Things went kind of quiet after that, and Sid was able to just watch the two as they ran on the machines with a sort of focus that he wasn’t entirely used to seeing in the people that used the gym. It was the kind of focus that he liked to think that he used when he worked out or when he was playing hockey with his friends.

That concentration is broken, however, when James caught his eye and grinned at him.

“Hey, Sid.”

“Hey, Nealsy.”

“Do you work for Subway?”

Sid sighed a little. This was definitely not going anywhere good.

“No, Nealsy. I don’t work for Subway. Why?”

Geno was watching them intently, even as he ran on his own machine.

“Because you just made me a foot longer.”

Sid groaned and threw his hands up in the air as he shook his head. Of course James had come up with something so ridiculous, and was now laughing hysterically at his own pickup line. Sid wished that he could find it in himself to be annoyed at the way his own lips were curling up in a bit of a grin at it, too.

“That was awful.”

“Was the worst one I heard yet, Lazy. You need to work on your lines worse than your slap shot from now on. Poor Sid.”

Sid glanced over at Geno, grinning widely now.

“No, look, he’s smiling. That means that I did it right. That’s all a man wants, really.”

Sidney just shook his head and ran his fingers through is hair.

“It was pretty awful, Nealsy. You’re lucky I already agreed to go out with you or that might be a deal breaker.”

James just shrugged and ran a little faster on the machine, still grinning. He seemed to have mastered the look of being pleased with himself, and damn if Sidney wasn’t starting to find it endearing.

“I’m almost done on here and then we can talk more about how you already agreed to go out with me again.”

Geno just groaned a little, and Sid glanced at him. He knew that the other man was making noise about it to tease James, but he wondered how much of that was real. He knew that there was a part of Geno who really wasn’t all right with the two of them seeing each other, and he wished that he knew what that part of Geno was really thinking.

“Are you almost done too, Geno?”

Geno nodded, glancing down at the display on his treadmill. “Yeah, just have a couple of minutes left.”

Sidney nodded and rocked back on his heels, content to let them finish in relative silence.

By the time they were finished, the both of them were breathing a little heavier, sweating a bit around their hairlines, and their shirts were sticking to the both of them in ways that Sidney found himself liking in ways that were definitely not in his job description.

Right, he had to focus on things that were in his job description.

“Weights next?”

The other two just nodded at him, and he focused first on the way that James ran his fingers through his damp hair and them on how Geno licked at his lips like they were dry.

He was getting way too distracted. How was it possible to be this sexually frustrated in his line of work?

Working the weights was almost like torture for him. His eyes were focused on their arms and chests as they forced the weights above them and he knew that there weren’t many other members of the gym that were as powerful as these two were. That in and of itself was something that made him feel a little warm around the edges.

He wasn’t sure why.

“Sid?”

He blinked back to reality and turned his attention to Geno who was giving him a concerned look. 

“You all right?”

Sid flushed but nodded. “I’m fine, just thinking.”

James leaned in from his other side, still grinning widely. “Were you distracted from the hotness of me? Because that would be understandable. I’m sure you can tell that the steak didn’t really have any negative effects on me now, eh?”

Sidney frowned a little, and shook his head. He didn’t want James using that as an excuse to keep eating huge steak dinners. And it was a little too close to the truth for comfort.

“That’s not it—and you didn’t even eat your potatoes, so it wasn’t like you had that whole meal, anyways.”

James made a face at him and flexed his arm anyways.

“You know you want a piece of this.”

The thing was—the more that he was around James… well, the more confused he was. He wasn’t sure what he wanted. He looked over at Geno who was shooting him another confused look, too, and he felt a guilty feeling churn in his stomach. He wanted Geno for sure, but now all of this with James… well, if Geno had just wanted him as Sid, this whole problem would be less of a problem, but with James hanging around and being funny and charming and liking him for just doing nothing but being regular old Sidney… it was confusing.

“Yeah, sure.”

James sighed a little and shook his head. “Man, you could at least sound a little excited about it. I’m practically throwing myself at you.”

Sidney flushed a little and looked away from Geno.

“Sorry, it’s been a long day.”

“Dude, it’s like noon.”

Sidney shrugged a little, not really having any other excuses. He had had a long night the night before. He’d been with one of his more demanding clients until three in the morning. It was what he liked to really refer to as earning his money.

“I had a long morning, then.”

James jut nodded at that, and glanced over at Geno.

“All right, okay, hey. What do you say you come out and meet the guys tonight? We were all planning to go out to the bar you wouldn’t be the odd man out or anything, I think a couple of the guys might be bringing some friends along. You should definitely come! I’d love it if you’d come. You don’t even have to tell them that you’re with me with me. You can just come as my friend. Mine and Geno’s.”

Sidney didn’t really know what to say to that. It sounded like a dream, really. Getting to spend any amount of time with the Penguins sounded like something that he’d never in his wildest dreams thought he’d get to do, but here was James offering it to him on a silver platter. Of course it wasn’t entirely without strings. He knew that the other man would probably be counting it as a second date, regardless of what he said about it being just as friends and all that. Which meant that it was a step closer to the a date when he would be expecting them to sleep together.

It really was too much to pass up, though, and so with a quick glance over at Geno who just nodded slightly, Sidney grinned up at James.

“Yeah, that sounds great. What time? Where? I’ll meet you there.”

“Come on, man, why don’t you just let me or G pick you up? It won’t be a big deal if one of us knows where you live. It’s hard to get parking there. Actually, if I remember right, it’s G’s turn to be the DD tonight, so it’s his turn to drive, so why doesn’t he just pick you up first and then you can both come and get me?”

Sidney has never told a client where he lived before. That’s just one of the biggest rules of hooking, you don’t tell the client personal information about yourself, and one of the most personal things about yourself is where you call home. It’s just too dangerous.

But how dangerous could Evgeni Malkin be? He was a celebrity. 

“I… guess that would be all right.”

Though it sounded like a recipe for a truly awkward night to him.

“If it’s all right with Geno?”

“Of course it is, right G?”

Geno looked a little unsure for a moment before nodding, his gaze fixed firmly on Sidney.

“Yes, just tell me your address, will be sure to pick you up on time. I’m not late like Lazy here.”

Sidney grinned a little at that, and nodded, leaning back against the wall. “All right, it’s set then. What should I wear? Is there a dress code at the bar you guys usually go to, or is it just like a regular bar?”

He didn’t really frequent bars very often—they weren’t really his scene. He wasn’t a big drinker and he didn’t really like to be surrounded by all the noise and the other drinkers. But this was pretty much guaranteed to be pretty awesome, he was going to have a great time.

“Great!” And the grin on James’ face was wide and honest. That made it kind of worth it, too. When he turned his attention to Geno, the other man was wearing a grin that almost matched James’, and it made the whole thing doubly worth it.

He’d been right—he could do this.

 

That night he spent what was probably an ungodly amount of time in front of his mirror styling himself. He’d opted for a nice, new pair of jeans and a black button down shirt. Plain, but he knew that the jeans tugged just right against the curve of his ass (whether he liked it or not, actually) and the shirt hung just right around his chest. He’d gelled his hair back, making sure none of the usually unruly strands were going to fall into his face. Nothing annoyed him more than that.

He thought he looked all right. He just hoped that he looked good enough that he could fit in with the rest of the team, and that both James and Geno would appreciate the effort he’d put into looking good. He knew that at least James would have probably spent more time in front of the mirror than he had, and that was a bit of a comfort.

By the time he was tucking his wallet into his pocket and making sure he had his keys as well, Geno was ringing his doorbell, and Sidney glanced up at the clock. The other man was ten minutes early—or as Sidney liked to call it: right on time.

Pulling open the door, he stood a little awkwardly in the entrance way, shifting his feet from one foot to the other. 

“Did you want to come in for a minute? It’s cold outside. Unless you left the car running?”

He looked past the other man to see if his car was still running, but couldn’t really tell.

“Want me to come in your house, Sid?”

He sounded a little surprised by the offer, but stepped around Sidney anyways, shaking off the slight dusting of snow that had managed to fall on him while he’d been standing out there.

“Nice place.”

Sid bit his lip a little. “You mean for a hooker? Or for a guy that sells gym memberships?”

Geno just shrugged a little, turning back towards Sid and raising a brow. “Just mean nice place.”

Sid flushed a bit, realizing how defensive he must have sounded in that minute. “Oh, well thanks.”

They stood there in a bit of an awkward silence, before Geno took a step forward, reaching out for Sidney, and Sidney—well, he didn’t even know what he was doing when he stepped closer to Geno, too, and they were in each other’s space before he even realized what was happening.

“Haven’t seen you in private in a couple of days, Sid,” Geno murmured, his eyes focused on Sid’s face. “Should have made an appointment, but didn’t have the time.”

Sidney nodded, licking his lips and flushing all the way down to his feet when he watched Geno’s gaze follow the movement of his tongue. 

“Can pay for it now if I can have just one kiss.”

Well, if Geno was still paying for it, then it wasn’t like they were really doing anything wrong, was it? He could almost forget that they were supposed to be on their way to pick up James. Almost.

“We probably shouldn’t—“ 

Geno’s gaze closed off a little and he began to pull away before Sidney grabbed him by the arms pulling him back in.

“But as long as you’re paying and it’s just like a quick house call—just one kiss, right?”

Geno grinned just a small grin before he leaned in the rest of the way and closed his mouth over Sidney’s, kissing him slowly, but deeply, his tongue sliding into Sid’s mouth and sliding against his in a way that had his whole body warming up immediately.

He wished that he wasn’t wearing jeans, because he could feel just how uncomfortable it was going to be to be hard in them on the ride to James’ house.

They stood in the entrance way of his house just like that, kissing and clutching each other before they pulled away, breathing hard. Sid knew that his face had to be a little redder than it had been when they’d started and he drew in a deeper breath to try to calm himself down. 

“Here,” Geno said after catching his own breath and pulling out his own wallet to tuck a couple of twenties into Sidney’s jeans pocket, easily copping a feel of his semi-hard cock in the process, making him jerk a little in response with narrowed eyes. That hadn’t been in the agreement, but somehow with the money in his pocket… he felt a little better. 

“Ready to go now?”

Sidney glanced at himself in the mirror and frowned. His hair was a little mussed, but it would just have to do. Hopefully the flush and the erection would go away by the time they hit James’ place.

“Yeah, let’s go.”


	9. Chapter Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The awkwardness just follows them everywhere, especially when there's two people vying for Sid's attention at the same time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No new chapter tomorrow, so even though my team plays tonight I decided to post. I realized that this fic is full of so much ridiculous awkwardness that I should have just included that in the title somewhere, haha. This chapter definitely has no reprieve from that.

Sidney was filled with nerves by the time they pulled up in front of James’ house. They were right on time, but he couldn’t help but wonder if James might wonder if that was weird. What if Geno was usually ten minutes early and this was late for him? What if James realized that there was something weird about them showing up late together?

His leg was bouncing a little and Geno reached over to settle it down.

“Calm down. Nealsy is coming out now, see?”

Sidney could see him jogging out of his house, waving at them with a grin on his face, one that only slid a little when he seemed to realize that he was being relegated to the back seat.

“Man, really? We’ve been friends all this time and you make _me_ sit in the back?”

Geno just shrugged a little. “Should have been ready to be picked up first, then could have sat in the front seat like Sid.”

Sidney flushed a little, thinking that if James had been picked up first, there was no way that they would have shared that kiss in the front door earlier. Probably would have been for the better because even though he wasn’t hard anymore, and he was sure his face was back to its usual colour, he felt this strange niggling sense of guilt.

It was one thing to sleep with Geno when they’d made appointments and a plan, but it seemed like another thing entirely to do it on their own time. It was the second time they’d done something physical on their own time, if he was counting that momentary… thing that had happened in the steam room. Which he was.

But Geno had paid him for his time, so it wasn’t like he was doing something entirely horrible.

He’d just have to put it behind him and focus on the now. Right now they were on their way to meet the rest of the Penguins, something that Sidney should be completely focused on.

They pulled up outside the bar (it really seemed more like a fancy club to Sid, and he was glad that he’d dressed up a little. Geno and James had, too.) and carefully piled out of Geno’s car. Sidney brushed a little bit of dust that wasn’t really there off of his jeans and straightened himself up a little. He was definitely a little nervous and it was starting to show.

James stepped over to him, lifting a hand to clap him on the shoulder. “Don’t worry, you’re going to fit in just fine.”

Sid offered him a small grin, nodding. “Thanks, Nealsy.”

James nodded and leaned in a little just to brush their lips together. “Just wanted to do that before we got in there and started drinking.”

Sidney flushed a little, feeling his lips tingle a little when the other man pulled away. He glanced towards Geno who looked truly uncomfortable and the three of them began walking together to the club.

He could tell that the rest of the team must already be there, because there were a lot of fairly nice cars in the parking lot, and when they stepped into the club there was a group off to the side that was a little rowdier than the rest of the club. Yeah, that sounded about right.

They headed in that direction, James reaching out to wrap his fingers around Sidney’s wrist, keeping him with them, making sure he didn’t get lost in the small crowd as they weaved their way through until they were standing mixed up with the rest of their group.

And there he was—standing in a group with the Pittsburgh Penguins.

“Nealsy! G! We thought you guys were never going to get here!” Sid turned his head towards the voice and a slightly inebriated Paul Martin was making his way over to them, throwing his arm around James as he did.

“We’re just fashionably late, Paulie, you know how it is.”

Sid shifted a little uncomfortably, watching how easy they were with each other.

“Hey! Geno, who did you bring with you?”

This time it was a heavily accented French voice calling out to them, and Sidney turned his head in the other direction to seeing Marc-André Fleury gesturing in Sid’s direction.

“Wasn’t me, was mostly Nealsy.”

Sid couldn’t help but to tug his hand free from where James had still been holding his wrist, and hoped that none of the others had seen it. He didn’t really know why it mattered, but it suddenly really did.

“I’m Sidney Crosby. I’m a trainer at one of the gyms in town. I work with James and Geno when they’re too lazy to work out at home.”

He offered his hand to Fleury and was relieved when the other man took it with a laugh, shaking it. 

“Good to meet you, man. Maybe you should work with some of our other guys, too, we have a lot of lazy guys on this team. Think Nealsy is wearing off on them.”

“Hey, fuck you Flower!”

Sidney couldn’t help but to grin at the other man, feeling a little more at ease. He should have known it would feel comfortable with these guys. They were just hockey players like he was always meant to be.

“I’m Marc, by the way. In case these animals haven’t told you yet.”

“It’s good to meet you,” he felt like he was yelling over the music, but the sore throat later would be well worth it.

“Want a drink, Sid?”

Sidney swallowed hard at the feeling of Geno’s breath on his neck and nodded, turning his head just a little. “Yes please. Just a beer, though. Nothing fancy.”

“All right. I’ll be back soon.”

By the time Sidney turned back around to see what James and Geno were up to, and why it was taking so long to get him a beer, he realized that they’d both as well as abandoned him. Geno was off talking to a tall, leggy blonde by the bar Sidney’s beer in his hand. He looked comfortable enough and that made a swell of something uncomfortable and hot build in Sidney’s stomach.

He turned his head the other way and saw James leaning comfortably into Paul Martin’s side as they laughed over something that he wasn’t privy to, alternating between shots and their own beers. James was obviously going to be extremely drunk, and Paul was definitely giving James a look that made a similarly uncomfortable feeling bubble inside of Sidney. He was suddenly not really sure what he was doing there.

“Feeling a little lost?”

He turned around at the sound of the voice and blinked a little in surprise.

“I’m Kris. You’re Sid, right? Nealsy has been talking about you practically non-stop for the last couple of weeks, don’t let any of the other guys fool you. They’re just being nice for his sake.”

Sid flushed a little at that, and let his glance slide back over to where James was. The other man glanced back over at him and grinned a wide, extremely toothy grin before downing another shot and trying to stand a little wobbily. 

“He’s a good guy.”

Kris nodded at him and glanced over at where Geno was finally stepping away from tall and blonde at the bar. “So is Geno. He’s been watching you a lot tonight, too. What’s going on with you three?”

Sid swallowed hard and just shrugged a little. “Nothing. We’re just working out together at the gym I work at.”

“Really? Because Nealsy all but told us that he’s been trying to get you to go out with him.”

Sid flushed darkly and sighed. “All right. I’ve gone out once with James, but it wasn’t anything serious. Just dinner.”

He didn’t know why he was even telling Kris any of this, it wasn’t really any of his business, only… he felt pretty comfortable with him, even if it was like talking to someone who could probably kick his ass.

“Make sure it’s him that you’re interested in, then, because I’ve seen the way you were looking back at Geno, and our team doesn’t really need that kind of drama, you know?”

Sidney nodded. He did know. That was one of the things he’d been worried about.

“Geno and I definitely aren’t like that. Just friends.”

Kris nodded and stepped back a little the closer that Geno got to where they were standing.

“All right. Just don’t go hurting anyone and you’re welcome to be a part of this family.”

Sidney felt a warmth in his chest and he nodded, smiling a little. 

“I don’t plan on it.”

Only he wasn’t sure what he was actually doing or how he was even supposed to be capable of hurting anyone. The only person who was interested in him was James, and he didn’t plan to hurt him. He’d end it before it got to that point, if it came down to that.

Geno—Geno was just interested in the sex. Sidney was interested in the sex with Geno, too, but that was a whole other story.

Geno stepped up next to him, and handed him his beer, frowning a little. 

“What did Tanger want?”

Sid blinked a few times and shrugged. “He was just introducing himself. You didn’t have to rush over here if you were busy.”

It was Geno’s turn to flush a little and he just shook his head. “Wasn’t really looking for anything. Tonight just for team.”

Sidney nodded and bit back a comment wondering about their kiss from earlier if tonight was just about the team.

“Think Nealsy is enjoying himself?”

Geno glanced over at where James and Paul were finishing off what looked like their last round of shots.

“They are always like that. Don’t have to worry about Paulie, he won’t steal Nealsy away from you.”

Sidney frowned a little. That wasn’t what he’d meant at all, though it hadn’t been too far from his mind. He thought you might have to be completely blind to miss the looks that Paul was shooting James when he thought that nobody else could see.

“I’m not worried about that—James and I aren’t really serious. Or exclusive. You know that.”

Geno just shrugged a little and took a sip of his water. Sidney took the silence as a chance to take a sip of his own beer and couldn’t help but notice that this was the first time that he’d ever had a sip of alcohol around the other man. Usually it was Geno who was drinking vodka and Sidney who was drinking water.

“He wants to be serious with you, you know.”

Sidney just shrugged a little and leaned back a little. 

“I’m not ready for that. I don’t really date, you know. It’s kind of hard… in my profession.”

Geno just made a soft sound of agreement and Sidney frowned a bit in frustration with himself. He didn’t know why he was even having this conversation with Geno. That just seemed like the worst possible person to be having this conversation with, and he tossed back his beer in one long gulp before moving towards the bar.

“I need another.”

Geno raised a brow.

“Going to get drunk?”

“No, I think I just need to be a little drunker than this.”

Geno shrugged one shoulder and let Sidney by him.

Another couple of drinks, and Sidney was feeling a little looser, leaning against the bar and watching the team as they interacted with each other. A few times one of them would come up and talk with him, ask him about his job (the nine to five variety, not his after hours variety), ask about the time he’d spent with James and Geno, and then wander off to find another teammate to torture. It was nice. He felt good with them. He’d been invited a couple of times to join them at practice, to watch from the stands or from a box during the game. They’d been extremely kind to him, but he wondered if that would have still been the case if they’d have known what he was really doing with their teammates.

Eventually James stumbled his way over to him from where he’d been tangled up with Paul, still grinning and smelling a bit of raspberry vodka. 

“Why are you standing by yourself, Sid? You should have come and done shots with me and Paulie. Could have done some body shots, I woulda let you do them off of me?.”

Sid thought that Paul probably would have had some problems with that—as well as probably the staff at this place, it seemed like a pretty high class club that wouldn’t do well with the body shots type, but he didn’t bring that up, he just rolled his eyes at James.

“You’re extremely drunk. How many of those shots did you have?”

James just shrugged a little, leaning into Sidney’s space a little and breathing out. Definitely smelled of raspberry vodka and another sour smelling alcohol that Sidney wasn’t really that familiar with. It made his nose wrinkle a little.

“Doesn’t really matter. G’s the DD tonight, so I can drink as much as I want. Mm, you’re real solid, you know that?”

And then his hands were making their way up Sidney’s arms and gripping him tightly.

“You shouldn’t be doing this in public, Nealsy. Remember? We had a deal.”

Even though he was saying that, it felt pretty good to have the other man’s hands on him. Maybe it had to do with the beers, or maybe it had to do with the fact that he was still feeling a little hot from having Geno’s mouth on him earlier.

Or maybe it was because he could still feel those twenties burning a hole in his pocket from where Geno had stuffed them in there earlier.

“I know what we said, but still—you smell so good. What are you wearing?”

Sid rolled his eyes a little, pushing at James just a little.

“I’m not wearing anything, that’s just soap you’re smelling. It smells good because you smell really bad.”

James just huffed a little and shook his head. “Paulie would never tell me that I smelled bad,” he grumbled.

Sidney frowned a little at that. He was probably right. Paul probably wouldn’t say anything like that because he probably smelled just as bad as James did right now—they had both been drinking the same thing.

“Yeah, because you guys probably smell the same,” he said simply, pushing James the rest of the way off of him.

“You’re no fun. What do you say we get out of here and make our own party?”

Sid frowned a little deeper and shook his head, sighing. “Still want to go slow, Nealsy. I thought you realized that?”

James blinked a little clearly trying to clear his mind a little. 

“I know, sorry. I’m just really drunk and dude… you really do smell really good.”

Sidney just shook his head and sighed. “It’s okay. Maybe next time we’ll just drink a little less.”

James just nodded and grinned at Sidney. “Come on, let’s dance?”

He shook his head immediately at the offer, but pushed James a little in the direction of the dance floor. “That’s not really my thing, but I’ll watch you from here.”

“Your loss!” James called at him before he shimmied an awful little shimmy that had Sidney chuckling a little before he turned his back on Sid and moved onto the dance floor only to be surrounded fairly quickly by a group of girls that seemed pretty intent on getting his attention for themselves.

By the looks of if, he was enjoying himself and so Sidney just leaned against the bar and grinned to himself. It was hard not to find James charming, even when he was acting a bit like a drunken idiot.

“Abandoned already?”

Sidney turned a little to see that Geno had joined him again.

“No, just didn’t feel like dancing. How about you? Bored of your team already?”

Geno just shrugged a little, leaning against the bar. “Not as fun when everyone else is drunk but me. Besides, saw something more interesting over here.”

Sid licked his lips a little at that and glanced down at this empty glass trying not to flush.

“Oh?”

Geno grinned at him, taking a sip of his water. “Yes, saw Nealsy making a fool out of himself to impress you.”

Sidney glanced back towards the dance floor where James was currently doing a fairly embarrassing job of moving his hips in time with the music.

“He’s not so bad.”

Geno shook his head and leaned into Sid’s space a little. “You like him?”

Sidney did flush at that. “I don’t know, it’s only been a couple of weeks, it’s kind of soon.”

Geno shook his head. “Mama always says you know right away if you like someone.”

He’d known right away about this chemistry with Geno and they hadn’t even been dating each other.

“Well it doesn’t always work like that with Canadians, I guess.”

And maybe his voice had taken on that slightly whiny tone again, but that was probably the beer talking.

Geno just laughed out loud, a loud honking sound that Sidney immediately liked.

“What, it’s true!”

He just shook his head and reached out to brush his fingers lightly against Sidney’s cheek. Sid glanced around to make sure that nobody could see them. Luckily it seemed like the other guys were all stuck in their own conversations.

“Meet me for an appointment tomorrow night?” Geno finally said.

Sidney’s mouth was dry, but he nodded. “What time?”

“Regular time. I miss fucking you. Want to see your face this time, want to watch you while I fuck into you, Sid.”

Sid’s whole face was red, he’s sure of it, and his jeans were slowly becoming uncomfortable for the second time that night. 

“Geno…”

He wanted that, too. Wanted to be able to watch Geno as the other man fucked into him, wanted to feel the press of their chests against each other and feel his cock brushing against him from the inside at just that angle… it sounded great.

Now was not the greatest time to be thinking about that, though.

“You want that, Sid?”

He couldn’t really think of any coherent words, so he just nodded, eyes focused intently on Geno’s face as he did so. He did want it. He really did.

“Good. Tomorrow night. Sid is worth every penny.”

 _That_ comment has a soft gasp escaping him and he just nodded, finally looking away because he’s sure that he’d be asking Geno to take him into the restroom and fuck him there if he didn’t. He can still feel those twenties from earlier burning a hole in his pocket and he can’t wait to get them home and add them to the thick envelope that he kept between his mattresses. 

Finally, though, the heavy silence between them is broken by James rejoining them with his usual exuberance, grinning like a madman.

“Hey, you guys all right?”

Sidney nodded and returned the grin.

“Yeah, we’re fine. Just getting a little tired.”

James frowned slightly and turned towards Geno who just nodded in agreement.

“Man, why didn’t you say? We can totally go if you’re tired. It’s getting late. The guys will understand. I think some of them have left—where’s Paulie, just gotta make sure we tell him that we’re going.”

Sid nodded and watched as James stumbled around the bar saying goodbye to the other members of the team while Geno stood by his side their fingers almost but not quite touching. It was more intimate than if they’d been kissing right there, and it had his breath catching a little in his throat.

Finally he saw James catch Paul in a hug and their heads huddle together as they said their goodbyes and Paul shot Sidney an expression that he couldn’t quite read. He didn’t really want to try to read it, anyways, before James was back on his way towards where he and Geno were standing. Geno put a bit of distance between them before James made his way the rest of the way over to them.

“Okay, we can go. Just had to agree that Paulie could come and work out with us one of these days. You don’t mind, right Sid?”

Sidney did mind a little bit. The guys at the gym were never going to let him live it down if every one of the Penguins that came to the gym only wanted to work with him… and he couldn’t shake the thought that Paul Martin didn’t really like him.

“Of course not. We’ll figure something out.”

They walked out together like that, both Geno and James fairly close to him as they made their way out, and Sidney couldn’t stumble one way or the other without stumbling into one of the men on either side of him, so he made sure that he walked in as close to a perfectly straight line as possible.

“We’ll drop you off first, Sid, so I can see where you live!”

Sidney nodded slowly, but Geno cut him off. 

“No, we drop you off first, Nealsy. Sid lives closer to me, it makes more sense.”

James made a disappointed sound, but sank back into his seat in the back.

They rest of the ride to James’ place was in silence, just the quiet sound of the radio playing in the background, before they pulled into his driveway and James pushed his head between the two front seats and turned his head towards Sidney.

“I hope you had a good time tonight, Sid,” he said with a smile before he leaned in and kissed him on the mouth. It was a real kiss this time, not like the soft brushes of their mouths together like he’d given him before. It was messy, too, a little too much tongue, and it didn’t last for very long before he was pulling back and away, his face flushed.

“I’ll see you soon.”

Sid sat there, frozen to the seat.

He wasn’t sure what he felt. The kiss hadn’t really been _bad_ exactly, but it hadn’t been what he’d expected. He’d still been riding a bit of a high from the kiss that Geno had given him earlier, and he didn’t know if it was because he’d been paid for that kiss, but it had been so different. Or maybe it was because it was Geno. He wasn’t sure.

Geno was silent the rest of the ride to Sid’s house, until he pulled into the driveway and they sat there in silence for another minute before Geno turned to him and cupped his face with one hand, leaning in to cover his mouth in a searing kiss, biting at his bottom lip before sliding his tongue inside.

It was everything that he’d been missing from James’ kiss, and maybe he had to cut James some slack because the other man had been a whole lot drunker than Geno was.

“What—“ Sid began when Geno began to pull away, but then the other man was sliding something into his pocket and Sidney realized that he was paying him for the kiss again, and something settled in his chest.

“Oh. Okay.”

“Tomorrow night?”

Sidney nodded.

“Tomorrow night.”

And he stepped out of the car, stumbling a little on the way to his door, just as much the fault of all the kissing as much as it was the fault of the beers he’d had, before letting himself in.

It was probably going to be a long night, and now he was really, really craving that peanut butter and jelly sandwich that he usually saved for post-appointment time.


	10. Chapter Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sidney tries to get his life back in order.

He had a lot to think about that night; a lot of things that were preventing him from finding the easy sleep that usually came with a few drinks and being out a little later than usual. His focus was still locked on the tingling of his lips where Geno had kissed him last, where James had kissed him, where he’d felt both of their hands on his face that night.

How he’d had both of their attention so completely at one point or another.

Or at the money between his mattresses, practically burning a hole there because he hadn’t made the time yet to take it to the bank. Or maybe he just hadn’t wanted to part with it yet, despite it being a fairly substantial amount of money. He’d thought about making a jar of some sort beside his bed to keep it in. Someplace better than a thick manila envelope under his bed.

He reached over and grabbed for his other pillow, covering his face with it and groaning into it. It just wasn’t like him. None of this was. He wasn’t the kind of guy who mooned over other men, who spent his time thinking about what it was like to be kissed by them, or who kept tokens of their appreciation under his bed. He was the kind of guy who took charge of his life and lived it exactly how he wanted to live it and by his rules only. He lived efficiently and that was the way he’d found was the best way to live.

Something about being around Geno and James had changed him and it wasn’t for the better. He didn’t like the way that he was acting around them, and he hated that he was becoming this weak person who relied on their attentions to get through his daily life.

Sidney wasn’t going to let that be his life. Not anymore. He was going to take charge and do something about it. He wasn’t going to let Geno just make impromptu appointments whenever he was feeling a little frisky and needed someone to get his rocks off with in between team get togethers. He wasn’t going to let James kiss him unless he was ready and willing to be kissed.

Or, okay, maybe that last one wasn’t as bad, but really—James needed to learn the meaning of the words going slow. 

He was going to take charge and act like a professional while they were working out. No more going to the steam rooms with them, not even if they begged him to. He was going to programme their machines and watch over them if they needed him to, help them organize their meal plans if their own team nutritionist hadn’t done that enough to their satisfaction, and then he was going to leave them alone unless they needed him for something. He’d spot them on their weight lifting only if they needed him. He wasn’t going to ogle them anymore. That was all a part of the behaviour that had gotten him into this mess in the first place.

If James wanted to take him on another date, well, that would be fine. Sidney wasn’t against giving it another go. He still found the idea of being around James and the someone who was mostly interested in him for the person that he actually was appealing. But this time he would choose where they would go. Preferably somewhere that he could make sure that James wouldn’t order something horrendous off the menu so that he wouldn’t have to lecture him about his eating habits again. Though he imagined that James had been more embarrassed about that then he had been.

And next time that they went to a team function, well, if he was invited to a team function, he wasn’t going to let himself have more than a single drink, because he needed to remember all of those new rules, and he needed to make sure that he didn’t give in to any of the signals that Geno might send him. If he was going to date James and still keep his weekly appointments with Geno, he was going to have to be much more professional about it. He was going to have to keep those two things much more separate than he had been. Even if part of him wished they’d be a little more muddled.

He was going to take charge of his life again.

He fell asleep like that, face still covered by his pillow and thinking up new rules to follow to keep himself in line and to try and get himself back to the properly functioning Sidney Crosby he’d been before the first time he’d knocked on that door and Evgeni Malkin had been on the other side.

The next morning was a miserable one. Sidney woke up shivering a little because he hadn’t turned his heat up, not really expecting the drop in temperature overnight, and at some point he’d actually kicked his comforter off the bed. The pillow that had been covering his head had landed on the floor beside his bed, and there was a little drool on his fitted sheet because his head had actually slid off of his actual pillow at some point in his sleep. Not the ideal way to start the day that he’d planned to start implementing his new rules.

He took his time getting ready, brushing his teeth, his hair, and then getting dressed, all methodically and with the same level of care that he usually did. He didn’t think that he was going to have to deal with either James or Geno at the gym that day, so that made his life a little easier. It would be plenty easy enough to implement his plans if there was no one there to tempt him away from it.

He drank his favourite protein shake for breakfast, before glancing at himself briefly in the reflection cast in the glass of his kitchen window and nodding once, heading towards the front door to shrug on his coat, tie his scarf tightly around his neck, tug on his tuque, and shove his feet into his shoes. He was ready for work, and it was going to be a good day because he was done having bad days. He was Sidney Crosby, the best damn gym membership salesman/gym trainer that his gym had, and he was just going to have to live up to that today.

Finally something seemed to go right for Sid, because even though he kept half an eye on the door all day, not a single member of the Penguins walked through it. He kept his shoulders a little tenser than usual, but worked all right, walking through exercises with a few of his regulars, offering them the appropriate smiles and listening to their usual chatter about their kids or their husbands, nodding when appropriate. It was a bit of a relief and it was comfortable. He was glad, for once, that his life was back to its usual routine. 

He even went to lunch with one of his co-workers, Jason, just to a little sandwich place a block down that they were able to walk to, someplace that knew his order the minute that he walked through the door (a turkey with no sauce, covered in veggies). IT felt good to follow the routine, and his co-worker was even silent the whole time, used to Sidney’s quirks. They’d worked together long enough that he really only spoke a couple of times, and that was just to ask a few normal questions about the members he’d been working with that day.

Or at least that was until they were on their way back from the sandwich place, their stomachs full.

“So, you going to tell me what it’s like to work with two of the Penguins or are you going to keep all that to yourself?”

Sidney glanced away from him, instead focused on the pavement as they continued walking. Not really the topic of conversation he’d been hoping for, but he should have assumed that it would come up sooner or later. The other trainers at the gym had to be curious. Although they did occasionally get high profile clients, they didn’t get a whole lot of them. It was even stranger for them to group together and actually prefer to work with just one trainer. 

“It’s just like training anyone else, I guess,” Sid said a little uncomfortably, wishing that they were a little closer to the gym so that this conversation would be over more quickly.

“Yeah, right. I can just imagine that training James Neal and Evgeni Malkin is just like training Mrs. Anderrson. Does he like step aerobics, too?”

Sid couldn’t help the short, honking laugh that escaped him at that even as he shook his head. He could almost visualize Geno trying to do step aerobics and it was a mental image that was just too funny not to hold onto.

“No, I guess not. They’re good. They can run and bike at a higher resistance and for longer. Lift heavier weights. Just like you’d expect. It’s not really all that thrilling. They talk about the team sometimes. That’s pretty cool.”

He tried to sound nonchalant about it, but it was a little hard, since that was the part that he’d actually been the most excited about, himself. He knew Jason was a pretty big fan, too, so he’d have been excited about the same thing.

“Seriously? Man, what is it about you that you get all the best clients?”

Sid just shrugged at that and brushed a little snow away from him as it started to fall. Driving home in the traffic from that was going to be a bitch. Especially since he had an appointment with Geno to get to that night.

Right, he’d almost forgotten about that.

“It’s pretty cool, I guess.”

Jason just reached over like he was going to punch Sid on the arm before seeming to remember that Sid didn’t like to be touched and dropping his arm down to his side. Which was good, because Sid had already been tensing up and ready to lean out of the way of it. He really didn’t like to be touched when it wasn’t invited.

“Come on, you’re playing it way down. At least you get to watch them. Though I wonder why they’d bother coming to us at all during the season when they have their own gym to practice in?”

Sid licked his lips, hating how they were starting to chap. He’d have to buy a new stick of Chapstick early this year.

“James Neal said it was because the gym was closer to his house and he liked to work out away from the team sometimes.”

Jason nodded in understanding at that before tilting his head to the side, pulling his tuque a little further over his ears.

“So then why did he bring Malkin with him?”

Sidney knew it was because James had wanted a wingman, but he didn’t want to say as much to Jason. That would just be admitting too much, and Jason was just an acquaintance, not really a friend.

“I don’t know, maybe he still wanted some company and mine wasn’t good enough?”

Jason nodded at that, too.

“You can get a little boring.”

Sidney wasn’t really sure if that was a joking statement or not, but he just let it pass anyways. They were finally at the gym, stepping in past the automatic door s and into the heated building. Relief flooded him. He wouldn’t have to answer any more questions.

“Hey, man, did you want to come out with us after work tonight? We were going to go out to the bar down the street.”

Sometimes they offered to take Sid with them when they went out, but he had never agreed to go with them, so he knew it wasn’t a surprise to Jason when he just shook his head. He didn’t have time for that sort of thing. He had other clients to deal with.

“Can’t, sorry. I have plans tonight.”

“Sure thing, another time. But really, Sid, one of these times I’ll get you to agree to come with us.”

Sid nodded noncommittally and headed back towards the change rooms to get back into the proper gear to finish the rest of his work day.

The rest of his day went as quietly as the first half, and before he knew it he was already on his way home, fingers tapping lightly against the steering wheel to the music on the steering wheel. Traffic jams were never his favourite, but it wasn’t as bad as he’d been expecting. He’d still have time to take a shower, get changed, have dinner, and meet Geno at their arranged time.

More than that, was calming the nerves he still felt when he thought about the meeting with Geno that night. They’d kind of talked about what they were going to do (if you could count mumbling to each other in a crowded club as a discussion), and at the time, he’d been really into it. But now—now he was trying to be a different Sidney. A Sidney with boundaries who wasn’t going to get sucked back into going outside the realm of professionalism. A Sidney who was just going to be Geno’s hooker, and James Neal’s date, and he had to have rules.

He’d still do whatever Geno asked him to do tonight, as long as it was within his usual rules, because Geno was the one paying for it, but he just hoped that it wasn’t really anything that was going to make it harder for him to keep up with the rules that he’d made for himself to follow.

There was something calming in following his usual nightly rituals. He had a healthy dinner as soon as he got home, and hopped in the shower, cleaning himself thoroughly, washing away all of the sweat built up over the day of work. He dried himself off and changed into his after work, work clothes, and carefully gelled his hair back. 

He made sure that he looked his best, standing in front of the mirror and scrutinizing himself carefully. He ran his fingers over his jaw, making sure that he didn’t need to shave. He wasn’t the kind of guy who grew a lot of facial hair, but it was still good to make sure. His clients tended to prefer him clean shaven (there had been an incident one time with a moustache and one of his older clients, and it had been a mess), and it made him look more professional, besides. As he stared at himself in the mirror, he couldn’t help but to think that he didn’t look much more than the every day ordinary guy, but maybe that was what people found attractive about him.

Shaking his head at his reflection, he turned his back on it and headed out towards the door, getting his outerwear back on and heading out for the second time that day. He was going to be the best, most professional he’d been, and he was going to do it properly, and Geno was probably going to be appreciative of that, too.

He was perfectly capable of shoving aside whatever _feelings_ had crept up on him in these past few weeks, because he was more used to living without them than he was used to living with them. He could ignore them just fine. It was just a case of mind over matter. Or something like that.

By the time he got to Geno’s hotel room door, there was a determined line to his face, one that seemed to catch the other man off guard. Geno tilted his head at Sidney and gestured him inside. Sid stepped in and quickly stripped himself of his outer wear.

“How are you, Sid?”

“I’m all right. How are you?”

Yes, this was appropriate conversation.

“Tired, long ice training session today. Missed you at the gym.”

Sidney just nodded and determinedly did not say that he had missed Geno, too. Because he hadn’t. He’d been glad to have a day where his life had been back to normal.

Geno was frowning, though, when Sidney reached up and began unbuttoning his own shirt.

“Sid? Okay? What are you doing?”

“I thought this was what you wanted tonight?”

Geno nodded, but he was still frowning.

“It is, but I thought-- -thought we could talk some more. Maybe more about your family or mine. Or maybe more about your day.”

Sidney frowned a little this time, but it was mostly for himself. Those were definitely not safe topics. A part of him warmed a little that Geno wanted to talk to him about those things, that he wanted to make this somewhat normal, but it was really his own fault for making the other man think that having conversations like that with his hooker _was_ normal in the first place. He should have continued with the usual set of boundaries from the get go. The fact that he felt even a little good about Geno trying to have a conversation with him was his own fault. He’d have to reassert what he was there for carefully if he didn’t want to ruin this good thing that they had going.

“I thought it might be better if we just got going. I mean, you’ve had a long day, wouldn’t you just rather have what you’re paying for?”

It would make it easier for Sidney if he didn’t have to see too much of that expression that Geno was making right then—that hurt expression. He didn’t understand why he was even looking like that. There wasn’t any reciprocation of the feelings that Sid had for the other man. That had seemed pretty obvious at the gym when James had been hitting on him more than obviously in front of Geno. The only time the other man showed any interest in him was in moments like this.

Which was perfectly normal for the relationship that they were supposed to have. It was Sidney’s _job_ to make it more normal.

Something in Geno’s expression closed off a little at his words, and he nodded, reaching up to unbutton his own dress shirt, and Sidney had to focus, trying not to pay too much attention to each sliver of tanned skin as it was exposed to his gaze.

“If that’s what Sid wants.”

No, no, that wasn’t how this was supposed to go, either. It wasn’t like they were lovers meeting for a tryst. At the end of this, Geno was going to be _paying_ him. Money that Sidney was finally going to be bringing in to the bank.

“No, this is about what _you_ want, remember? This is your playground, I’m just your playdate.”

Geno gave him a strange look like he didn’t really understand what that was supposed to mean.

“Nevermind. Just—you’re paying me, remember? So just tell me what you want. That’s what I’m here for.”

It was harder to get the words out, the more he looked at Geno. The other man just looked so confused, and he couldn’t stop kicking himself for not enforcing the boundaries sooner. It was probably a good thing that Mario hadn’t gotten Geno hooked up with another guy. He probably would have been pretty confused, and Sid’s good name would have been completely ruined.

“Still want to fuck you, Sid.”

Sidney nodded, a selfish part of him glad that he hadn’t been looking forward to that for nothing. There wasn’t anything wrong with actually looking forward to having sex with a client. He’d looked forward to it before. Probably not to the same extent, but that was splitting hairs.

“Okay, we can do that. That’s easy enough.”

Geno looked almost offended at the comment, and Sidney bit his lip. That was probably the wrong thing to say.

“I’m taking off my clothes now, and then I’ll get on the bed. I can prepare myself and then… we’ll do it.”

He was used to taking charge in the bedroom. He liked it, even. Having control over the situation would make him feel better.

“Okay.”

Geno still sounded a little put off by the whole thing, but Sidney considered the fact that he was going along with it to be progress. He was quick and precise with the movements of his fingers as he deftly unfastened the rest of the buttons of his shirt, hanging it over the chair and unbuttoning and unzipping his pants before hanging them over the same chair. His boxers followed suit. It was almost clinical, his movements. He wanted to treat Geno the same way he treated the rest of his clients, well. This was how he treated them, and they seemed to like it enough. As long as he was an attractive, attentive, warm body for them. And he always was.

He reached into the pocket of his pants to grab for the lube and condom that he always kept tucked inside for these appointments before he turned back towards Geno and the bed, moving to climb onto it, only to realize that Geno was still standing there fully clothed and just watching him.

“Geno?”

The other man blinked before glancing up at his face.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, his fingers moving to finish unbuttoning his shirt, tossing it on the ground before moving to his pants.

Sidney felt a little rumble of guilt in the pit of his stomach that just did not want to go away. It was joined by the same spark of arousal that always seemed to accompany just being around Geno.

No matter what rules he put in front of himself… there was no denying the chemistry they had. It seemed to have come out of absolutely nowhere and it just seemed to build and build, getting stronger every time that they met like this.

He positioned himself on the bed on his hands and knees, knees spread open a little under him so that his stance was wide and easy as he spread some of the lube over his fingers and reached around behind himself to press a blunt finger inside.

It didn’t feel particularly good, and he wasn’t hard yet. He knew that if he’d have let himself—if it were Geno’s finger moving inside of him… well, he’d probably already be halfway to begging for the pressure of the other man’s cock moving inside of him. But he was being a professional about all of this now. He was doing a good job, too. He knew that once he got to two and three fingers, once he had his fingertips pressed up against his prostate for the first time, his cock would react and it would feel good. Even if he was thinking a little bit too much. 

This wasn’t about him, anyways. This was about Geno. This was about making Geno feel good, and if Geno wanted to fuck him, then he was going to let Geno fuck him, just like he’d let any of his other clients fuck him and it would feel good, he knew it would feel good. He’d have something to think about, to _feel_ when he got home, and then he’d be able to jerk off in the privacy of his own home and wipe the slate clean and begin a whole new, fresh day tomorrow.

He didn’t have to obsess over whether or not Geno was going to be thinking about this after he left, like Sidney was going to be. He didn’t have to have any connection to this beyond the here and now. He could just enjoy it for what it was.

“I’m going to do two now,” he said clearly, feeling the need to fill the somewhat awkward silence with something.

Geno just made a soft sound of assent, and Sidney heard the sound of clothing rustling, and glanced over his shoulder to see that Geno had stripped off his pants.

He pressed the second finger inside of himself, and did, in fact, enjoy that familiar, slight burn. It was comforting and good in a way that he’d known that it would be. It always felt good to be filled up. Or at least that had always been his point of view. He’d always enjoyed being fucked.

He glanced back at Geno again, and frowned. The other man was barely hard. Probably Sid’s fault. He’d been so focused on being professional that he’d barely been, well, professional about it.

“Hey—hey, Geno, come here.”

Geno gave him a bit of a wary look, but walked over to his side of the bed, anyways. 

Side gave him a small grin and shifted his weight a little so that he could reach over and take the other man’s cock in his hand, stroking him slowly with short, expert movements.

Geno groaned softly, his eyes focused on Sid as he tilted his hips a bit into the touch. He was getting a little harder as Sid’s hand moved against him. Good, that was what Sidney had wanted. He wanted to prove that he was as good at his job now as he’d been that first time.

Leaning forward, Sidney wrapped his lips around just the head of Geno’s cock, his hand still working the rest of it, his tongue sliding over the tip. The sound that the other man made, making a matching sound escape Sidney. He always got off a little on getting his partners hard. It came in handy in his line of work.

“Is good, Sid.”

Sid grinned just a little around his mouthful, and lowered his head, taking in just a little more of Geno’s cock at the same time as he pressed a third finger inside of himself, making a sound that sounded entirely unsexy to his own ears as the tips of his fingers did, indeed, press against his prostate.

His cock was finally interested in the proceedings, bobbing lightly between his stomach and the sheets as he continued to suck at Geno for another minute before licking a little of the precome from the tip and pulling away to reach for the condom, opening it up and sliding it onto the other man’s cock.

Sidney pulled his fingers out with a bit of a flinch and positioned himself back onto his hands and knees, and glanced over at Geno.

“Okay, I’m ready.”

Geno breathed a little, reaching down to stroke his cock once, before shaking his head.

“Not like that. Want to see your face, remember?”

Sid flushed darkly. He hadn’t thought--- well, he’d thought maybe Geno had forgotten that part, or maybe in the moment, he could have persuaded him out of it.

But this was all on Geno’s dime, and if Geno wanted it face to face… it wasn’t what most of his clients wanted, but it wasn’t like Sid had never been fucked that way before. It just made things a little more intimate than he was used to. And this was Geno.

But he could do it. He would be fine.

Nodding, he rolled over onto his back, and spread his legs wide, licking his lips and waiting for the other man.

“All right, like this? Is this what you want?”

Geno shook his head, and Sid began to frown, but then he said “Yes,” and climbed onto the bed to position himself between Sid’s legs. He reached for a pillow, and slid it under Sid’s hips, tilting them up a little. It was considerate, and Sid felt that same bubbling of warmth from before that he forced down.

“Geno?”

He wasn’t sure how to understand the headshake with the word to the affirmative, but apparently Geno was done talking for now, because he was positioning himself and pressing slowly, oh so slowly, inside of Sid and Sid was gasping a little, his hands reaching out and grabbing at the sheets to keep himself grounded and in the moment.

The burn was familiar, too, just like his fingers had been but more. He’d been fucked more times than he cared to count, but still every time was a little different than the time before it, and this just felt so damn good. Geno kept pushing inside of him until he was pressed tightly to him, from their chests all the way down to their thighs. 

“Feels good, Sid.”

Sidney closed his eyes for a moment to try collecting himself a little before he nodded, and opened them again, swallowing hard. Geno just looked so earnest. It was hard to look at him, eyes wide and pupils blown and that look on his face.

That was why this position was so much more difficult than the others. Because like this, he could actually see what it looked like when Geno was buried inside of him, and when Geno looked like that, it was hard to remember that this was the man who was only interested in him when they were in a room together and he was being paid for it.

“Yeah.”

Geno shifted his hips a little and pulled out until just the tip of his cock was tugging at Sidney’s hole before pressing hard back inside and Sidney gasped loudly, arching his back and hips into the movement. That was good, that was perfect. That was exactly the way that he liked to be fucked, and his eyes slid closed all on their own.

“Keep your eyes open, Sid,” Geno breathed, his breath coming out in heavy puffs against Sidney’s face as he began moving more quickly.

Sidney forced his eyes open and spread his legs open a little wider, as wide as he could manage, wrapping one of them around Geno’s waist as he tilted his hips up to help Geno to get a deeper angle, letting out a sharp cry when Geno hit that spot inside of him with a heavy thrust.

“There?” He asked, his voice thick.

Sidney nodded, biting his lips to keep himself from asking for more, from saying Geno’s name, or for moaning out any of the things that he really wanted to say. He wouldn’t have said any of them normally, and this was the time when it was the hardest to keep his composure. This was going to be the hardest hump to get over.

“Can’t fuck you and jerk you, so you have to do it.”

Sid frowned a little, swallowing hard before he could trust himself to speak without saying anything potentially stupid.

“I don’t have to—nngh—I just want you to come.”

Geno frowned a little, but never stopped the steady movement of his hips. Sidney was quietly impressed by that. It wasn’t easy to have a conversation and fuck someone. He knew that from experience. He’d had some clients who really liked dirty talk, and it had taken some time to learn the art and fucking someone and thinking coherently enough to actually make sense of what he was saying to them.

“Paying for it, aren’t I? Want to see you come. So come.”

Sid felt himself flush all down his chest, but nodded. He couldn’t argue with that logic, not really, not as he slid one of his hands down his chest to wrap around his cock that was resting hard and curved against his belly. He was so close already, the pressure of Geno inside of him was so good.

“Of course,” was all he said before he went back to biting down on his lip (and it was probably going to be swollen all the way to the morning and that came close to breaking his own rule about marking, but then he’d done it to himself, so it wasn’t really Geno’s fault). His fingers slid easily over his cock, made slippery by the lube still on them from when he’d been fingering himself and from the precome that had been sliding from the tip.

Geno was sweating a little, and Sidney could see it sliding down his head and along his jaw from where he was forcing himself to keep his eyes open like his client had requested of him. He wanted to lick it, even though he knew it would taste just the same as his own sweat. It would be gross, too, but he still couldn’t quite shake the urge. So he just bit down harder on his bottom lip. He was so close now.

“Come for me Sid, come now.”

Sidney groaned at that, and arched his hips to get Geno just a little impossibly deeper before he was coming hard and messily, spilling over his own hand as he continued to stroke himself until it was nearly painful to do so and his hand fell to the sheets and he just forced himself to keep his legs spread wide open so that Geno could keep fucking into him.

He was extremely sensitive now, and his legs were jerking slightly with every inward thrust, but it still felt good, the way Geno was able to slide easily inside of him, the way the other man was panting against him, his eyes still wide as he stared down at Sid, biting his own lips, and then his hips were stuttering a little and he was coming, and Sidney could feel it even though he couldn’t really _feel_ it.

Geno was careful as he was coming down from his own orgasm, lowering himself down onto his forearms before reaching down to hold onto his slowly softening cock and pulling out of Sidney. They both winced a little, and Sidney swallowed hard. He knew that the image of Geno’s face was going to be burned onto the inside of his eyes for a while.

Damnit.

He breathed heavily, lying there with his legs spread for just a couple of minutes of awkward silence before finally sitting up and enjoying the heavy ache in his lower back. He’d be feeling that tomorrow, too. Good. It would remind him that he’d done a pretty good job. He hadn’t let himself get too involved with Geno, even though he’d had plenty of chances to cross the line tonight.

“I hope that was good,” he said as he stood and stepped around Geno to get dressed quickly.

Geno nodded, reaching for his own clothes and dressing before reaching for the bedside table. This part was all routine for them, they’d done it plenty of times before.

“Yes, was perfect. Exactly what I paid for.”

Sid felt a little proud of that at the same time as the statement stung. He could barely remember the few times he’d had sex without being paid for it, they’d happened so long ago, but while a part of him imagined that being with a lover the way he’d been with Geno would be amazing—especially if that person had the same chemistry with him that he had with Geno, he couldn’t help but wonder if it would feel even a portion of the same kind of satisfying at the end of it if he weren’t collecting the money.

“Thanks. Did you want to set up your next appointment?”

It would be by far more professional to do it now than to wait for the next time he was out with James to do it.

“Two weeks? Day after we get back from the big road trip?”

Sidney nodded and scheduled that away in his mind. It was far enough in advance that he was sure that there wouldn’t be any problems. It was a long time to wait, too, but it was probably for the best. The Pens had a lot of games coming up in the next couple of weeks. He saw his other clients a lot less frequently than he saw Geno. Maybe even less frequently since he’d started seeing Geno. Not that that was intentional. He didn’t think so, anyways. Not that that meant anything.

“Sure, that sounds good.”

Geno nodded, licking his lips and they stood there awkwardly for a minute before Sidney headed towards the door and began pulling on his outerwear.

“See you tomorrow at the gym,” Geno finally said, making Sidney stutter in his movements.

“Goodnight.”

He left, but it wasn’t until he was pulling into his own driveway at home that he realized that he’d forgotten his tuque back at Geno’s. He’d been so close to a perfect night, too.


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sid does a little better.

True to what he’d promised himself, when Sidney woke up the next morning, he pulled the manila envelope that held all of the money he’d earned from his appointments with Geno out from between his mattresses. He was going to deposit it into his account. It was time to take the last steps in treating Geno just like the rest of his clients. Last night had been a good first step, and he’d done well, but he needed to keep going if he was going to succeed. There was no use in giving up halfway to the finish line.

He had a moment of hesitation when he was standing in line at the bank, but forced himself through it, drawing in a deep breath and smiling at the teller as she counted his money and deposited it into his account, handing him a receipt. 

Stepping out of the bank, he let out a heavy sigh, almost of relief. He was really doing this. He was taking a step in the right direction. Although he couldn’t quite get rid of the heaviness in his chest that just felt a little off. Like he’d gotten rid of something that he should have kept. But it wasn’t like the money was really gone. It was still sitting right there in his account, and the weak part of him had there would be more money to come—he was seeing Geno again in a week for another appointment. There would always be more money.

Tugging his scarf tighter around him, he shivered and wished he’d remembered his tuque from Geno’s the night before. The cold spell was getting worse for sure, and he just didn’t have enough time to pick a new one up from the store until after work.

He headed out to the gym, a little bundle of anxiety building in his stomach the closer that he got. He wondered what it was going to be like today, his first day with both of the Penguins since he’d decided to get back on track.

The first step into the gym was a nice rush of warm air on his face and he could feel the few snowflakes that had landed on him melting quickly. It was a relief.

“Hey, Sid, you’re barely dressed for the weather, you’re going to catch your death,” Jennifer chirped up from behind the reception desk. 

“I’m fine, I’m fine. It’s not as cold out as it looks,” he replied quickly.

She just shook her head at him, tossing her hair over her shoulder. “I just came in from out there, you aren’t fooling me.”

Sid just shrugged and grinned at her, pulling his gym bag a little higher over his shoulder as he headed back towards the locker room. The smell of it was always comfortable and always reminded him a little of hockey and made him feel a little at home. He liked it.

He made quick work of his clothes, carefully folding them and locking them up in his locker with his wallet and his nice shoes before heading out to the floor to start his shift. It was going to be a good day. He was determined that it was going to be a good day, and there was nothing he couldn’t do if he put his mind to it. He’d learned that from his family early on in life, and he was nothing if not a part of that.

True to what Geno had insinuated the night before, the two Penguins walked into the gym at about ten thirty, looking well rested. Sidney was ready for them. He wasn’t going to let their presence change his game plan.

Walking over to them, he kept his chin held high and the same professional smile on his face.

“Nealsy, Geno, it’s good to see you.”

And it was, it was good to see them and they both looked really good. Not that he was going to focus on that. 

“Sid! It feels like it’s been a week since I’ve seen you. Did you watch the games?”

Sid nodded, leading them back towards the locker rooms. “Of course, wouldn’t miss them.”

James grinned at that, unzipping his jacket. “Good. I hope you saw the goals I scored for you.”

Sidney refused to rise to that bait. He was at work. If James wanted to talk about scoring goals for him, he could do it the next time they were out together.

“Why don’t you guys go and get changed and then we’ll start with a warm up on the bikes again today?”

He phrased it like a question, but didn’t really mean it like one. If they wanted him to be their trainer, well--- they’d just have to follow him without question just like the rest of his members did.

“Yeah, okay. You okay, Sid?”

Sidney nodded, turning his back to head out of the locker room to leave them to get dressed without his supervision.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’ll be waiting for you guys by the bikes.”

He leaned against the bikes as he waited for the other men to be finished changing, tapping his fingers against the cool metal in time with the tune stuck in his head. 

“Sid?”

He turned his head at the sound of Geno’s voice, and blinked a little in surprise to see the other man standing there alone. 

“Where’s Nealsy?”

“Still getting dressed, he’s not as fast as me. Likes to make sure his hair doesn’t get too messed up.”

Sid couldn’t help the bit of a grin at that. It did sound like James.

“I brought you something.”

Sidney was about to open his mouth and argue that he couldn’t accept anything that Geno might have brought him, when the other man just pulled his tuque out from behind his back, and offered it to Sidney. 

“Noticed your ears were red. Don’t want you to get sick or anything because you forget hat at my place.”

Sidney flushed a little but nodded, taking the tuque from the other man, running his fingers over the familiar knit of the hat. He’d had it for years and it was something of a good luck charm for him. He was glad that he wasn’t going to have to replace it after all.

Unfortunately, James chose that moment to walk up to them, shooting them both a quizzical look. “Did I miss something? G, why are you giving Sid a hat?”

Sidney licked his lips a little nervously and opened his mouth to respond, but Geno beat him to it.

“Found it outside, recognized it as Sid’s so brought it in for him.”

James nodded slowly, though he looked a little bit disbelieving. “I never knew you were so attentive. It looks just like every other hat to me. How did you even know it was his?”

Sidney slid his fingers over a worn out patch where the hat would rest over his right ear and pointed it out. “I guess he remembered the hole on the side, so he figured it was mine, and if it wasn’t, I could always just toss it in the lost and found.”

Geno nodded. Yeah, they could just go with that. Though it felt kind of shitty to be lying to James about something so silly.

“Oh, I guess that makes sense. Good job, G, wouldn’t want my boy to get sick.”

Sidney’s jaw clenched a little, and he wanted to argue that he wasn’t James’ boy, he wasn’t _anyone’s_ boy, but the words just wouldn’t come out and the work place just wasn’t the place to be having that argument, anyways.

“Come on, you guys are wasting time. Get on the bikes.”

James raised a brow, but moved over to swing his leg over and climb onto the bike Sidney had pointed out for him, watching as Sidney programmed it for him.

“Were you always this bossy?”

Sidney sighed a little, moving over to Geno’s bike to do the same thing. “Yes. It’s my job. Start pedaling.”

James was grinning when Sidney turned back towards him. “I like it. It’s a good side of you.”

Sidney just shrugged and stepped back to watch them as they began working on the bikes.

“All right, I’m going to go and check on a few of my other regulars. I’m sure the two of you will be fine for a few minutes?”

Geno raised a brow, and James looked a little disappointed. “No special treatment for your celebrity members today, Sid?”

Sidney shook his head and waved a hand over his shoulder as he caught sight of Mrs. Stenson over by the treadmills, and jogged over to help her. She grinned at him gratefully and he programmed a nice, easy jog for her. 

“Thank-you, Sidney, you’re sweet. I thought you were busy? That girl at the front told me that you were going to be booked solid for the rest of the hour and that I’d have to wait for the next available trainer?”

Sid shook his head and glanced at the display to make sure that she’d be all right when he left to go back to the Penguins.

“I have enough time to make sure you get set up all right, Mrs. Stenson—“ “Stacey, please.” “Stacey, of course. I have enough time to make sure you’re set up, we always want to make sure you have the best experience you can. Is this going to be a good pace for you?” 

She nodded at him, stepping a little faster. “Yes, I think it’ll be good. Thanks again, Sidney. You can go back to whatever special guests you guys have in here today. They must be something if they have that receptionist of yours all worked up.”

Sidney just shook his head.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll see you for your regular workout on Thursday?”

She nodded again and he stepped back, feeling a little more settled after having put some space between Geno, James, and himself. He realized that he was still clutching the tuque in his hands and headed towards the locker room to shove it back in his locker.

He couldn’t believe that he’d been so stupid to leave it behind the night before, and then to have Geno bring it today—well, it had been kind of him, he’d appreciated it, and he was sure his ears would appreciate it, too, but they’d come close to making a fool out of themselves in front of James.

Finally, he headed back out to where James and Geno were coming close to finishing their time on the bikes, and sweating just a little, both bickering back and forth about something that had happened at practice the day before. It was almost endearing, really, and he resisted the urge to smile.

“All right, you two almost ready to head over to the weights, or did you want to run some? Those are pretty much your two options for the day. More cardio or some strength training. I guess we could do the ropes instead of the weights if you wanted to.”

James made a face, but glanced around the gym which had just a small spattering of members. They were usually busier later on in the day.

“I guess lets go to the weights. I like impressing you, and I think I’ll be able to lift more than G today.”

Geno just snorted a little, shaking his head.

Sidney shook his head, too, and waited until they were climbing off of the bikes and the three of them headed towards the weight sets together. 

“How about if I can lift more than G… you come to our game against the Habs next week?”

Sidney swallowed hard at that. He shouldn’t be agreeing to anything like that. It was unprofessional, but it was extremely tempting. He hadn’t been to a game since the last time he’d been hurt, had been too worried that all he would think about was his own injury. Was worried that the smell and feel of the rink would just remind him of that.

“I doubt watching a game from a box would be my idea of a good time, Nealsy,” he finally said, moving to place the weights on the bar.

“You could watch from the stands if you wanted, I wouldn’t mind. As long as you came with me after the game to get some drinks. It would be a good second date. What do you say?”

Sidney shifted a little uncomfortably. This was what he’d been trying to avoid. This was the kind of unprofessional behaviour that he was trying to get out of his system.

“I don’t think it’s appropriate to make bets with my clients while I’m working with them,” he finally said, licking his lips and glancing over at Geno who was still watching him with an unreadable look on his face.

“What, seriously?”

Sidney nodded, moving to the other side of the bar and lifting the weights on that side, too. “Seriously.”

“Fine, what if I wait until we’re done here and then ask you again?”

Sidney stood up straight when he was done, wiping his hands on his shorts.

“All right, ask me then. For now, get on your back and start lifting. You’re wasting time.”

Geno leaned back against the wall as he watched James struggle just a little to lift his first set. It was really Sidney’s fault, he might have started him at a bit of a higher weight than he should have. 

“Too much? I can take some off.”

James just shook his head. “No, it’s fine. I just didn’t get my grip right.”

Geno snorted again and moved to position himself on the machine next to James and got himself situated comfortably to start doing a few hack squats. He looked extremely comfortable, but Sidney forced himself not to watch too much. He was spotting James, after all. He was doing his job.

After a little while, James paused and glanced over at Geno, making a face at him.

“Ready to switch?”

Geno glanced up at Sidney. “Okay?”

Sidney nodded, and moved over to the weights. “You want to lift as much as Nealsy?”

Geno nodded, and moved to lie down, blinking up at Sidney. Sid had to swallow hard so that he wasn’t paying too much attention to the way he looked spread out on the machine under him. 

“Okay, let’s start. You okay over there, Nealsy?” 

James just nodded and began his squats. “Yeah, I love squats. My thighs are in great shape.”

A grin did tug at Sid’s lips, then, and he just shook his head, watching Geno as he began lifting the weights, lips pursed in concentration. 

They stay like that in silence for the rest of their time together, Sidney glancing between the two as they work, and then giving pointers on how to straighten their posture or helping Geno when his arms weren’t straightening out the right way.

“Do you want to work on your bicep curls, or we could do some lunge sprints for your quadriceps, or… did you guys just want to go and finish your time in the pool for a cool down? You look tired, and I always have another member to work with if you’re done for the day.”

James made a bit of a face at him. “You wouldn’t want to join us in the pool? I’m sure it could be a lot of fun.”

Sidney just shook his head at the offer. It was easy enough to refuse when he remembered how horribly the steam room adventure had gone. He wasn’t ever going to put himself in that kind of a situation again.

“No, I have a lot of things to do, and none of them include swimming or anything like that.”

James sighed a little but nodded. “All right, well I guess G and I will get to the pool and then get going, right G?”

Geno was nodding as he sat up from where he’d been under the weights. “Sounds good to me.”

Sidney nodded at them.

“All right. Well, good job today guys. We’ll work a little harder on some of your smaller muscle groups next time. You should look into some of our yoga classes or something like that. I’m sure you would find it helpful in your game. I always did.”

James blinked a little at him. “You used to play hockey?”

Sidney flushed a little, but shrugged. “Not a big deal. But yeah, you would find it helpful. I promise. It’s good for you. Next time you come in, you should give it a shot.” And it would spread the Penguins time around the gym a little and probably get some of his coworkers attention off of him. 

“Maybe we’ll do that,” Geno said with a bit of a shrug. “Lazy here would always use a little bit of extra practice.”

James just reached out and punched Geno on the arm. “Fuck off, G,” he said, shaking his head.

Sidney stepped back and shook his head at both of them. “All right, well, I’ll see you guys later, then?”

James stood up quickly, hurrying to follow after him, grabbing him by the wrist. 

“Wait, sorry but—Sid, about the game thing?”

Sidney swallowed hard. He’d turned Geno down when he’d offered, but it would be a lie if he didn’t admit that it had been something that had been on his mind ever since then. He had wondered what it might be like to be in that environment again.

“All right… I’ll come. But I want to sit in the stands, okay? I’m not really into being in a fancy box or anything like that. I just want to watch like every other fan does.”

James offered him a toothy grin and released his wrist with a nod. “All right, good. I’ll come and drop the ticket off tomorrow before practice, and a pass, too, so you can get to the locker room after the game and we’ll go out for drinks, okay? No pressure or anything, but it’s more my idea of a date than the dinner thing was, so maybe it’ll go better.”

Sidney bit his lip a little. He’d really wanted to take charge of their dating experience, but he couldn’t think of anything he’d rather do on a date than that. It really was an ideal date.

“All right. The game and drinks. That sounds good. Just leave the ticket and everything with Jennifer tomorrow and I’ll meet you after the game.”

James nodded and looked for a second like he might lean in to kiss Sid again like he had the last time they’d been in this situation. Sidney put an end to that kind of thought by taking a step back and walking away with a bit of a wave.

When he showed up the next day and waved at Jennifer, she called him over to the desk with a bit of a sideways grin.

“Had a delivery from a very handsome Penguin for you today.”

Sidney rolled his eyes a little, reaching out his hand. “He was supposed to drop off a ticket and a pass for me, I know.”

She grinned a little wider at him, and shook her head. “That’s not all he dropped off for you,” and he handed over a bigger armful than he’d been expecting.

The ticket and pass were there, sure, but so was a big Penguins jersey. He didn’t even have to unfold it to know what he was already assumed. He could see the first letter of the name stitched onto the back of it, and it was definitely an ‘N’. It seemed like James wanted him to attend the game with his name plastered all over Sidney.

He wasn’t sure what to think of that, or of the strange little grin that was tugging at the corners of his lips.


	12. Chapter Twleve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sidney finally goes to a hockey game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who's been leaving feedback, it makes me feel really great! Trying to get chapters out as consistently as possible. I'm just about finished this fic in real time, and there's about a four chapter lag between what I have and what I've posted. Can't believe it's almost finished! I decided to do this for NaNo, and wasn't sure if it would ever reach 50k words. Obviously it has.

Getting ready for the game was no small feat for Sidney. He felt like he needed to make himself as presentable as he usually made himself for one of his usual appointments. If he would look good for one of his clients, then why shouldn’t he try to look good for James, too? He dressed himself in a nice button down shirt and the same pair of jeans he’d worn when they’d all gone to the club. After debating with himself a few times, he finally pulled James’ jersey over his head and sighed at his reflection in the mirror.

It seemed like it would be a bit rude to just ignore the gift, and it obviously meant something to James that Sidney wore it. It didn’t have to mean something. It just meant that Sidney was supporting the Penguins by wearing a jersey to the game, and he happened to be sporting the name of one of their lead scorers on his back. He could deal with that.

He left for the game early, wanting to make sure that he got a decent parking spot and that he had a chance to find his seat with as little issues as possible.

It turned out to be a little less fuss than he’d anticipated. James had gotten him a good seat, right up at the glass where he could see everything, and once he was seated in his seat, he let himself take everything in around him. It felt like home in the arena. Everything about it—the smell and the shine of the ice, and the way that every bit of his body was yearning to be out there on the ice, skating with the players.

James seemed to spot him right away during warm up, and skated over to him, grinning a little and waving a gloved hand at him. Sidney waved back, flushing a little when Geno, Beau Bennett, and Paul Martin, who had been standing with James, turned to see him and waved just a little, too.

For a moment he was a little embarrassed about wearing the jersey, but he realized that there was no way they could see the name on his back. Not yet, anyways, because he was facing them. Unless James said something. Which he thought the other man might have, because Beau was throwing his head back and laughing a little and Paul looked a little uncomfortable. So did Geno, for that matter. James just looked pleased with himself. Sidney sank down into his seat, clutching at the arm rests.

“Hey, why do you think the team keeps waving over here? Do you know them? Or are they waving at me? Who are they waving at?” A guy beside him was asking. He seemed like he might have started his drinking a little before he’d arrived at the arena, and he had a clear plastic cup of beer in his hand that made it pretty obvious to Sid that he wasn’t planning on stopping his party any time soon. Hopefully, though, the fact that he’d probably paid a lot for his tickets meant that he was a big enough fan that he wasn’t going to be obnoxious through the game.

“I’m not sure. Maybe they just feel like waving,” Sidney said slowly, not really feeling like admitting anything at all to a complete stranger. What would he say, anyways?

Geno and the rest seemed to get back to their usual game time routine and began shooting pucks at the net, James dangling a puck around a little in a bit of a fancy manoeuver that had Sidney grinning a bit. 

It was a bit of a treat to look over to the other side of the ice and see the Habs warming up, too. Even though he cheered for the Penguins now, he’d been a Montreal fan growing up and it was going to be a pleasure to get to see them play just like he’d always wanted to when he’d been younger. He thought about calling his dad after the game to tell him about it, and wondered if he’d be surprised to hear that Sidney had even attempted to see a game for the first time since the Incident. He bet he’d be surprised. Maybe even proud.

The players were skating off the ice and it seemed like everyone was getting ready for everything to start, so he sat back in his seat and got a little more comfortable. 

The anthems were good. He always felt a little strange sense of national pride when he heard O Canada, especially at hockey games, and was grinning a little to himself by the time they were singing the American national anthem. He couldn’t help the way his leg was bouncing just a little anxiously by the time they were finished with all the ceremony and the puck was being dropped. 

There was a complete change in the James Neal that he saw on the ice in the moment that the puck dropped and the silly guy that had been waving to him, the guy that had given him his jersey to wear before the game. It made Sid grin a little wider, and lean forward in his seat to watch more intently, his eyes following the movement of the puck as it was passed around on the ice from player to player.

He’d really forgotten how much he’d missed this. Well, maybe not exactly forgotten as much as had just tried to forget, because maybe it was a little harder than he’d thought to be in the stands and not be on the ice and be a part of what was happening.

A couple of times the Penguins had possession in the Habs’ zone and he found himself muttering ‘shoot!’ and they would pass back to the point instead, and he would just clutch the armrests of his chair in frustration. The guy next to him glanced over at him and raised a brow.

“Hey, guy, you need to chill out a little. You look like you’re going to go crazy over there. They’ll win this one.”

Sid glanced back at him and nodded, forcing his body muscle by muscle to relax a little. If semi-drunk guy thought he was acting crazy, then he needed to calm down a little. The game was only ten minutes in, he still had a while to go. He could do it.

Then Geno was tripped up a little by PK Subban and took a bit of a run at him, taking the lone penalty, and Sid cursed under his breath. That wasn’t really the Geno he knew. Or was it? The Geno he knew in the bedroom seemed to toss himself into everything that they did, and passionately. It made sense he’d do the same thing on the ice.

He watched as the Penguins penalty kill went to work, but flinched a little when Subban slapped it from the point and it was tipped by the screen in front of Fleury and slid past him to put the visitors up 1-0. There was a surprisingly loud cheer from the crowd behind him, and Sidney groaned inwardly. Of course, Montreal had a fanbase that followed them everywhere.

Sidney sank a little lower into his seat as he watched Geno skate slowly across the ice with his head hung a little lower, his shoulders slumped just a little bit. He wanted to bump his shoulders against the other man’s and tell him to just work hard to get it back. One goal wouldn’t mean the end of the game if they could just get it back, and quickly.

Bylsma seemed to be of the same mind as Sidney, and James, too, because as soon as Geno was back on the bench, the coach was smacking Geno on the back and James was bumping their shoulders together, yelling something over at him. Sidney felt a little relieved at that. Of course his team was going to be there for him. He didn’t need Sid for that. Sid didn’t know why he felt like that at all. It was a strange feeling of ‘if the situation had been different’, or something.

The rest of the period continued with the Penguins having the advantage in shots and zone time, but not being able to slip one past Price.

He wanted them skate off the ice at the end of the first, looking frustrated and annoyed as they walked down the tunnel and towards their own locker room. 

He didn’t move from his seat during the intermission except to get up and stretch his legs a little by pacing in front of it. He wasn’t hungry or thirsty, especially not for anything that they might have served at the rink—none of it would have fit into the meal plan that he had set up for himself, anyways, and since he was going out for drinks with James after the game, he didn’t think that he needed to pre-game that with a beer during the game.

By the time the second period puck drop was approaching, semi-drunk guy was stumbling back to his seat and was definitely full on drunk now. Sidney could smell it on him, and he smelled like he might have already spilled a beer on himself at some point. But he wasn’t that loud or rowdy, so it wasn’t really that bad. 

The puck dropped for the second period, and the Penguins started out a little more aggressively, passing the puck more precisely and it only took three and a half minutes before James was passing the puck over to Geno at the blue line, turning just a little to stay on-side and the other man was sliding past the defenseman and wristing a shot off over the glove of Price and into the net. Sidney cheered with the rest of the crowd as the Pens on the ice skated over to Geno, hugging him and then skating over to the bench of their fist bumps.  
Sid was grinning like crazy, he knew, but the guy next to him was still cheering even after they’d dropped the puck at centre ice again and play had started back.

“They’re gonna win this!” The guy was shouting in Sidney’s ear, and Sidney nodded, his eyes never leaving the ice. He felt it, too, he was sure they were going to win. They’d carried the play for the most part. He’d even been growing more and more comfortable with being there the more absorbed he got into the game. It was a relief to know that he could sit through a game in the arena and not have to panic the whole time.

Of course as soon as he started to feel like yes, he could definitely do this, something had to happen to change that.

It happened like it was happening in slow motion. Geno was chasing a puck that had been cycled around the boards in the Habs end, and Montreal had been hemmed into their own end for about a minute and a half already, it was obvious that they were getting frustrated, and his head was down, and Sid could see it happening before it happened.

Douglas Murray came charging a little from the face off dot and threw his weight into Geno’s back right between the numbers, shoving his head into the boards, and Geno went down in a heap, the puck coming free. 

Sid leapt forward in his seat a little, and the guy beside him jumped out of his seat, dumping his entire beer over the front of Sidney’s jersey. Sid didn’t even notice. He felt a hot stirring in the pit of his stomach as nausea rolled over him. His hand was pressed to the glass and his eyes were focused on Geno even though he could barely see him where he was hunched over on his hands and knees. 

The whistle had blown and play had stopped, and there were penalties being handed out because a bit of a raucous had broken out and it looked like someone was trying to fight Murray, though Sidney was too busy trying to catch his breath and he couldn’t see who it was.

It was like he was back to all those years before when he’d been skating and chasing a puck around the boards and he’d been shoved into the boards hard and his whole head had snapped back. He remembered how his vision had gone a little blurry and his head had ached and how he’d felt nauseas and just _not right_ for so long after that, and it hadn’t been the first time for him, but it had definitely been the last time. 

He stared at Geno, unblinking, even as he began to feel the cold wetness of the beer seeping through the jersey and the button down he’d been wearing under it. His throat felt a little tighter and he willed Geno to get back up, to stand up and skate it off, to just be fine. Just another hockey hit. Like Murray wasn’t almost 250lbs of man.

His whole body was almost pressed up against the glass when Geno finally pushed himself up to his feet with the help of a trainer and skated off the ice, heading back to the locker room after swinging his stick a little angrily at the boards. Sidney breathed a little bit, and could finally hear the guy behind him stuttering out an apology.

“—rry, guy, didn’t mean to get you with my beer. At least the jersey’s black, so no one will be able to tell, right? It’s like the team knew there would be accidents like this and that’s why they made black jerseys.”

Sid just nodded a little numbly, leaning back in his seat, his hands clutching at his knees as he focused on breathing in and out as evenly as possible, trying to soothe the nausea out of him. He didn’t need to have an episode of any sort out in public. Not when he’d been doing so well. Geno had barely needed to be helped off of the ice. He was probably just going off to the quiet room to be tested and then he’d be out for the next period. That was all. Everything was going to be fine.

“Yeah, sure. It’s okay.”

The guy nodded, seeming relieved and Sid took in another deep breath, swallowing hard. It was going to be a little hard to curb his nausea when all he could smell was the extremely strong scent of stale beer coming from himself. 

Geno didn’t come back, though, and when the Habs scored their second goal on a shorthanded breakaway on the penalty that had come from the Murray hit, it seemed like the life had drained out of the Penuins, and that’s how the game ended. It seemed like the rest of the team was as focused on the injury to their star player as Sidney was.

Because of the circumstances of the hit, Sid was a little wary about going to the locker room after the game, but he’d promised James that he would—and really, he wanted to see Geno, he really wanted to know how the other man was doing, even if he wasn’t supposed to be anything more than an acquaintance and his occasional hooker. He hadn’t been able to get his mind off of Geno.

What if the hit was even worse than what it had looked like? What if Geno wasn’t going to be able to play hockey anymore like what had happened to Sidney? What would Geno be like without hockey? It had almost ruined Sidney to be without it, he couldn’t imagine what it would do to Geno. It had taken him years to get over it.

But he was thinking in the worst possible way. Geno was probably all right. He had to try to think a little more positively. 

He headed down to the locker room, his pass in his hand, and showed it to security, before they lead him to the room, gesturing him inside. He waited until the media was on their way out before he headed over to where James was. He didn’t see any sign of Geno yet.

“Hey, Nealsy. I think this one belongs to you!”

Sid blinked a little in surprise and turned his head in the direction of the voice to see Tanner Glass standing behind him, wearing just his boxer shorts and a towel around his shoulders. Sidney wondered how he could tell, unless he was just remembering him from the time out at the club, but they’d barely spoken. He didn’t think he could have left a real impression on the other man.

James looked up from where he’d been buttoning up his shirt, talking quietly with Paul, a small grin on his face.

“Hey, you wore it! Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes!”

Paul didn’t really look like he agreed that much.

“What—oh. Oh yeah.”

He’d really meant to take the jersey off before heading into the locker room to avoid this kind of embarrassment, but he’d been kind of caught up in thinking about Geno and wondering if he’d be able to see him and ask him if he was all right, that he hadn’t even thought about it. That… was unfortunate.

He stepped around the logo on the middle of the floor, and headed over to where James was still getting dressed, nodding at Paul who offered him a bit of a tight smile before saying goodbye to James and heading off.

“Yeah, it was a nice gift but a little vain, don’t you think?”

James just smiled a little and shrugged. “Doesn’t really matter, you wore it and it looks great on you.”

Sidney smiled tightly and nodded. “Hey, where’s Geno? I just wanted to ask him how he was after that hit.”

James’ smile fell off his face and he sighed a little. “He’s just finishing off with the trainers. Wanted to avoid the media, I think. Didn’t want that headache tonight. I think they said he has a slight concussion.”

Sid flinched a little and nodded. He knew there wasn’t really such thing as a slight concussion. You either had one or you didn’t.

“I can go and get him if you wanted to talk to him yourself. I’m sure he wouldn’t want to avoid you.”

Sidney shook his head, swallowing hard. He did want to see Geno. More than he wanted to do just about anything, really, and that was a little bit alarming to him, but he knew it was probably for the better if he didn’t.

“No, that’s okay. I wouldn’t want to aggravate his headache.”

James just shrugged a little, reaching out to pull his suit jacket over his shirt, and straighten out his tie.

“How do I look? Good enough to go out for drinks with you?”

Sid nodded a little distracted. “Yeah, of course. I’m a little under dressed. I’d take off the jersey, but some guy spilled beer all over me and I think it stained the shirt I have on under it, and you can’t really see it on the jersey.”

Grinning, James shook his head. “I don’t mind if you keep it on. Like I said, I like it.”

Sidney nodded again and stood up, straightening the jersey a little, ignoring the catcalls he got from a few of the other players. They seemed to be in a better mood than he’d expect from a team that had just lost. But then again, they were still firmly in first place of their division and it had been a close game. Maybe it wasn’t as big a deal to them as it would have been to him if he’d been on the team.

“Are you ready?” He asked. He really needed tonight to be over so that he could get home and try to focus on something other than the itching want to check and see how Geno was doing. He probably should have just taken James up on seeing him before they left, but he didn’t know that he could keep himself from hiding just how much he actually did care about the other man, and that would just get him into a huge mess.

Just how much _did_ he care about Geno? What kind of mess was he getting himself into?

“Earth to Sid? Are you in there?”

Sidney blinked a little, and frowned. “Sorry, was a little lost in thought. What did you say?”

James frowned. “I was just asking if it was all right if you just followed behind me to the bar. It’s not that far from here.”

Sidney nodded. “That sounds fine. I’ll get my car and then meet you outside the players parking lot?”

James nodded.

He spent the walk to his car trying to talk himself out of texting Geno and asking him how he was, reminding himself that he had been doing so well at keeping things professional up to this point. If he couldn’t keep things separate, then maybe this thing with Geno… maybe it just wasn’t a good idea anymore.

He couldn’t think about anything but that.

Could he really stop?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really don't have anything against Douglas Murray, he was just the first guy who came to mind.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For some reason this chapter gave me a lot of Hell while I was trying to write it. Eventually got it out, though, so I guess that's all that matters.

James waited outside of his car until after Sidney had parked his own, and they walked into the bar together. It was loud and the music was pumping out of the speakers and thumping through Sidney. It wasn’t ideal for a date if they planned to do a lot of talking, and Sidney wondered if James had really thought that one out.

Judging by the look on his face, Sidney assumed that he hadn’t.

“Sorry about the noise. I forgot how loud this place got sometimes!”

Sidney just offered him a bit of a shrug, and shook his head. “It’s all right, I don’t mind.”

Really, not having to do a whole lot of talking would probably work in Sidney’s favour. His mind was still working over the sight of Geno being crushed into the boards, of the look of pain on his face as he’d pushed himself back up and skated off the ice, and he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it.

He wondered how much of it had to do with the similarities to his own injury and how much of it had to do with this unhealthy attachment that he had to Geno.

Obviously just making rules not to be unprofessional wasn’t working. He still had all the same, messy feelings whether he liked it or not.

“So too bad about the game, I wish you’d got to see me score in person. I was trying to get one for you, but they really locked it down tonight.”

Sid shook his head. “No, that assist was really nice. I was impressed,” he said slowly, as they were finally able to place some drink orders with the bartender. 

James grinned widely at him. “I’m glad you think so. Next time we’ll have a better result and hopefully less injuries.”

Sidney nodded and couldn’t help but lean forward a little to actually talk to James a little.

“Did you actually get to talk to Geno at all after he got hurt? I mean, did you get to see him?”

The other man nodded, taking his beer from the bartender, and taking a long swig of it. “Yeah, he came into the locker room during intermission. Seemed all right. Just said his head was hurting and they weren’t clearing him to play in the third. Seemed more pissed off about it than anything else.”

Sidney nodded, feeling a little bit of relief flood through him. That was good. That made him feel a little better. Except for the part where James was frowning at him a little bit. 

“Are you sure _you’re_ okay? You look a little pale. Maybe we shouldn’t have come out for drinks.”

Sidney shook his head quickly. “No, sorry, it’s okay. I just got hurt a couple of times back when I played and it— Geno getting hit just reminded me of it a little bit.”

There was so much more to it than that, like how he’d been so worried about how Geno must be feeling right in that moment, probably alone in the dark somewhere trying to wrap his head around not feeling entirely in control of his own mind. He just couldn’t get the other man out of his mind. It really was a problem.

“Oh—sorry, man, I didn’t even think about that. I never thought about why you weren’t still playing hockey. We didn’t have to go out for drinks, you know.”

Shaking his head, Sidney grinned a little tightly at him. “It’s okay. I wanted to come out with you.”

It wasn’t a lie, either. He was thinking about Geno, couldn’t stop thinking about him, actually, but a part of him had wanted to go out with James. To gather up some of that normalcy that James seemed to just radiate again.

“I’m glad,” was all James said, before taking a sip of his beer. 

Sidney mirrored him, taking a long sip of his, too. It was just going to be one drink for him tonight. He still had to drive. He knew it would probably be the same for James, but they weren’t out looking to get drunk. Or at least he didn’t think so.

They sat in companionable silence for a few minutes where Sidney let himself just think over the events of the night, trying to get himself gathered back together, trying to figure out what his next step was going to be—he had to figure out how he was going to make the rest of his life fall back into step. This wasn’t normal.

He couldn’t be having these kinds of feelings for a client. That was just not right. He couldn’t be obsessing like this even after all the effort he’d put into trying to separate himself from Geno in their lives outside of their appointments.

The only thing that was left to do was to stop seeing him as a client altogether. The idea of that made his stomach flip upside down, and that was even more proof that it was probably the right thing to do. Emotional attachments were dangerous, and this one was just getting worse the more he saw the other man.

But what would he do all the times that he would see him if he was with James?

“Sid?”

Sidney swallowed hard and blinked back to attention. 

“I’m sorry, what?”

James was staring at him. “It’s nothing, just… you haven’t said anything for like five minutes.”

Sidney flushed a little. “Sorry, I’m just a little distracted.” He felt guilty. James had put a little effort into setting up this date which would have been perfect if he’d just been able to put Geno out of his mind, if he’d just been able to understand that he had feelings for someone that didn’t reciprocate them and move on from that a long time ago, but instead he’d been focused entirely on that other person for their whole date.

Shaking his head, James reached over and covered Sidney’s hand with his own. “It’s okay. Look, why don’t we call it a night? We can try this again on a better night. I don’t mind.”

Sidney nodded, giving up on trying to have anything of a normal night. There was just no way that he was going to be able to stop thinking about the choice that he was trying to make.

“Sorry, Nealsy. I didn’t mean to be such a downer,” he said as they tossed down the cash for their drinks and made their way out of the bar. 

James shook his head and walked Sidney out to his car, stopping once they’d got there. The parking lot was completely empty, the music from the club still thumping even this far out from it. Sidney’s ears were ringing just a little.

“It’s all right. I’m not worried about it.”

Sidney offered him a small smile and leaned forward to press a small kiss to the corner of his mouth. James turned his head into it at the last second, his mouth covering Sidney’s and they stood there like that, kissing slowly. It was a pleasant kiss, warmth spreading through Sidney’s body as he let his hand slide up James’ chest and rest there. James wasn’t pressing to deepen the kiss beyond just sliding his tongue lightly against Sidney’s and Sidney sighed a little into the kiss, his lips parting just a little.

It was a good. It was nice, even. He felt comfortable kissing James, even though they were standing where just about anyone could have walked out and seen them, but there was a part of his mind that was still thinking about Geno. That was thinking about the edge of desperation that his kisses with the other man always held and how this didn’t feel anything like those kisses.

Was that necessarily a bad thing?

Carefully, though, Sidney pushed against James’ chest, breaking the kiss and resting his head against the other man’s as they both caught their breaths.

“Wow. That was like… fireworks.”

Sidney swallowed hard. It hadn’t been like that for him, not really. It had been like the slow crackling of the fireplace in the middle of winter. Warm and good, but it hadn’t been as spectacular as fireworks. He just smiled at the other man, though, and stepped back until his legs were pressed against the door of his car.

“I should go. It’s late.”

James nodded, looking a little dazed. 

“All right—oh. I wanted to know if you would come to the New Year’s party with me. It’s a team thing—we do it every year, and it’s guaranteed to be a big hit. We usually do one for Christmas, too, but we’re going to be on our big road trip over the Christmas break, so we won’t have time. It’ll be like a joint Christmas/New Year’s party. What do you say?”

Sidney licked his lips a little, still tasting James there. It would be a chance to see Geno again, right after what he thought would probably be the appointment where he might be telling him that they weren’t going to be seeing each other anymore. It seemed almost cruel. But it might be his last chance.

“Yeah, all right. I’ll come.”

James grinned at him. “Great. I’ll text you the details when we get back from the trip, then.”

Sidney drove home feeling a little lightheaded and he had the idea that it had nothing to do with the single beer that he’d had. He was probably going to end things with Geno and… well, he had no idea where this thing with James was going to go, but it seemed to be going somewhere.

What was he doing?

He really needed to have his weekly meeting with Mario, because he felt like he was drowning in problems that he’d created for himself, and he didn’t have anyone else that he could possibly confide in that he trusted to give him the advice that he needed. He trusted that Mario would probably know what the best thing to do was. Though he suspected that he already knew what the _right_ thing to do was. It was just doing it that was going to be the hard thing to do.

Getting up to meet Mario for their appointment was a little harder than Sidney had anticipated. He’d been looking forward to it in the last few days, and since the Penguins had left for their biggest road swing of the year, his life had gone back mostly to its routinely scheduled routine. It was a bit of a relief and he’d felt like he’d had a bit more breathing room (especially since the Pens had actually taken Geno with them on the trip, so his concussion or whatever the injury had wound up being couldn’t have been as bad as he’d been imagined) to work his way through his days.

He imagined that it meant something that the only times that he felt truly relaxed were when he knew for certain that neither James nor Geno were going to walk into his life unexpectedly and throw things out of whack entirely, but he didn’t want to focus on that. He just wanted to focus on getting through each of the next few days and on making every decision that would eventually lead to feeling this way all of the time.

Maybe it would mean that he wouldn’t just have to stop seeing Geno. Maybe it would mean that he’d stop having to see both of them entirely. The thought of losing contact with both of them completely made him feel a little sick, though, and so it was with slightly nervous fingers that he buttoned up his shirt and readied himself to go out to meet Mario at their usual place. Another constant of his life that he’d never been more grateful for than in this moment.

If nothing else, he was sure that the other man could bring some perspective to this whole situation that he was clearly missing.

A sense of relief filled him when he reached the café and saw Mario sitting in their booth, sipping his coffee, and Sid moved quickly to slide into his side, reaching immediately for his coffee and the sugar, quickly dumping a liberal amount into the cup.

“It’s good to see you, too, Sid. Something on your mind?” Mario began, raising a brow and looking almost amused with the situation.

That wasn’t fair. Sidney didn’t want him ti be _amused_ with the things that were going on with him. None of it was funny. Not really.

“Of course something’s on my mind. Do I usually—“ Well, yes, he did usually dump this much sugar into his coffee, but still. He wasn’t usually as rude as that, he didn’t think.

“Calm down, why don’t you tell me what’s going on?”

Sid drew in a deep breath.

“Everything’s going to Hell.”

Mario stared at him a moment, the corners of his lips twitching up a little. “Now, Sid, don’t you think that’s a little bit of an exaggeration?”

Sid’s own lips turned down in something that could almost resemble a pout. “No, I don’t. It sure seems to me like everything is going to Hell. I don’t know how else you could possibly describe it.”

Mario took a sip of his coffee and leaned back before starting to speak, still very patient. “Why don’t you try?”

Sid drew in another deep breath.

“I think I have to stop seeing Geno. Maybe Nealsy, too. I’m going crazy, Mario. I can’t keep him out of my mind. It doesn’t matter where I am or who I’m with, he’s all I’m thinking about. Even when I’m with him, I’m having all of these inappropriate thoughts about him, like I want to know more about him, and it’s just—it’s not _right_.”

Mario sighed a little and shook his head at Sidney.

“Which one are you talking about, Sid?”

Sidney flushed a little, slightly embarrassed that there was a possibility that he could even be talking about more than one person in this situation.

“Geno, I’m talking about Geno.”

Mario nodded. “Your client, then. Have you mentioned any of this to him?”

Sidney just shot him a look at that, crossing his arms over his chest. “Of course not. That would hardly be appropriate. What would I say? ‘By the way I know I’m your hooker, but I kind of want to know more about you, how about you tell me more about your life?’?”

He carefully doesn’t mention to Mario that the other man had already offered him some personal information on more than one occasion. He felt like that would probably not help his cause at all.

“I’m just his hooker, Mario, I’m barely even his trainer at the gym outside of that. What am I doing having all of these thoughts about him? Even when I’m trying to date Nealsy, all I can think about is him.”

Mario nodded, looking a little sympathetic to his cause now.

“I understand, Sid, calm down.”

Sid took a calming breath, reaching for his coffee and taking a sip. The sweetness of it calmed him down a little.

“Maybe you need to make a decision, then. Either tell Geno about your feelings for him, or take a step back.”

Sidney hadn’t even for a second considered that first option, he could already picture the look on Geno’s face if he heard those words coming out of Sidney’s mouth, and Sidney didn’t really want to see that awkward expression on his face at all. He didn’t want to have that conversation.

“I thought—maybe it was time to step back.”

Mario looked at him a little pityingly. “Maybe it is. Do you want me to refer him to another guy?”

Sid flushed a little as he stared down at his coffee.

“No. I mean—if he asks, then I guess you can’t really help it, but if he doesn’t ask… then no? I know that’s not professional of me, but there’s some stuff—I think he would be surprised with another guy.”

Sidney can practically feel Mario’s raised brow, but doesn’t look up from where he’s staring down at his coffee. He didn’t need to feel that kind of disappointment from his mentor, not today.

“Sidney—“

“I’m sorry,” he said quickly, finally looking up and knowing that his entire face must be a harsh red. “I didn’t mean to break any of the rules, and it’s not like me, but I couldn’t help it. So if you can help it, don’t give him to another guy.”

Mario sighed heavily again and shook his head. “I won’t, but this is all very complicated.”

Sidney nodded, knowing that Mario was right.

“Things will go back to normal soon, I’m sure. I promise.”

Mario shook his head a little. “Will they, though? How long has it been since you’ve even been to see any one of your regulars?”

Sidney sat there, frozen as he wracked his brain to think of that. He knew that he’d been a couple of times since he’d started seeing Geno, but it wasn’t with any kind of the frequency that he’d been seeing them before.

He winced a little. It wasn’t like him not to keep in careful contact with them, they probably felt ignored by him.

“I… I guess I was a little caught up—do you think they noticed?”

Mario sighed heavily again.

“Yes, of course they noticed. Most of them have already requested other guys, they assumed you had fallen out.”

Sidney groaned and ran his fingers through his hair. His whole career was being affected because he hadn’t been able to deal with his feelings for one guy.

“So I’ll have to start practically from scratch is what you’re telling me?”

Mario shrugged a little. “There are still a couple who haven’t given up on you. Three that I can count just from memory. And this is just if you’re still sure that this is what you want to do, Sid. You can always change your mind if this isn’t what you want anymore. There’s always a time to get out of it if that’s what you want.”

Sid frowned, swallowing hard. “I never said I wanted to get out of it. I’m just going through a bit of a rough patch right now.”

To be honest, getting out of it right now made him feel a little well of panic. He didn’t know what else to do if he didn’t have this. There was nothing else that he was as good at as this.

“Well I’m not going to send you anymore guys until you get this worked out, all right?”

Sid nodded, glancing back up at Mario. “That sounds fair.”

Mario nodded back and took a sip of his coffee. “All right, now tell me about the other one.”

Sidney couldn’t help the slight smile from sliding across his lips. “Nealsy. James. He’s nice. He keeps trying to get me to go out with him more and more. He’s a good guy, I think he’s really close with Geno, too, more than with most of their other teammates. They come to the gym together whenever they come. It’s always the two of them. It’s not so bad. I’ve been out with him twice. He likes to steal kisses—“ that might be oversharing a bit, but Sidney guessed that if there was ever someone that he could overshare this sort of thing with, it was Mario, “I feel something with him, I don’t know what it is, but there’s _something_ there.”

Nodding again, Mario leaned forward a little. “Is it--- do you have the same kind of feelings for him that you have for Geno?”

Sidney bit down on his bottom lip and shook his head. He had to be at least a little bit honest in this. “No, it’s not the same. There’s no the same chemistry there as there is with Geno. I don’t know what it is, it just feels comfortable and good with Nealsy. There’s not that same spark. Does that mean there’s something wrong?”

This time Mario shook his head, a sort of pitying look on his face. “No, not that there’s something wrong. But maybe there’s more to this than it seems like there is. Maybe there’s something about just being able to be yourself that you’re missing and that’s what makes you feel comfortable when you’re with this guy.”

Sidney frowned a little. He hadn’t really thought about that. He actually thought that the time when the was the most himself had been the one time that he and Geno had been exchanging information about themselves. 

But maybe there was something to it, to not being paid that was actually appealing and that was part of what made being with James so appealing? Maybe it was the fact that he was attracted to Sid just for the sake of working at being with him and not knowing what he was going to get that made him appealing. Instead of always knowing that he was going to get whatever he wanted at the end of the night because he’d paid for it. Mario might have had a point there.

“I’m saying that you shouldn’t just give up on James just because you don’t feel the same spark that you did with Geno, maybe you just need to give it time, Sid. Maybe you’re not supposed to feel that spark, maybe you just need to feel normal for a little while.”

Sidney bit his lip and nodded. Maybe he did just need to feel normal for a little while. Mario was probably right.

“All right, I guess… I guess that’s what I needed to know. I needed to know if I was doing the right thing in stopping this thing with Geno and seeing Nealsy maybe a little more.”

Mario nodded. “As long as you can stand to be around James and still see Geno around. Do you think you can stand that?”

Sid lifted his chin a little, squaring his shoulders. “I’m a lot stronger than I look, I guess. Of course I can handle it.”

Mario grinned at him over his coffee cup. “Good to know.”

By the time that Sid left, he felt more secure in his decision, even if that same uneasy feeling about confronting Geno and telling him that they were going to be ending their working relationship was still lingering in his stomach.


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sid, Geno, and their goodbye sex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> posting has been a little uneven because I've got a couple of different projects going on at the same time, but I'm hoping to keep up a better rhythm here.

The conclusion of the longest road trip of the season for the Penguins was drawing to an end a lot faster than Sidney was really prepared for. He had a knot in the pit of his stomach for the three days leading up to the end of it, and watching the games just seemed to make it worse. 

He’d been slacking off a little at the gym in the day before the team was set to come back from their trip, too, he knew the annoyed glances he was getting from a few of his regulars were entirely his fault, and he felt a little bad for them. He wasn’t the kind of guy who usually let himself get caught up like that, but he didn’t know what else to do about it, all he could think about was the fact that he was going to be telling Geno that their working relationship—if it could really be called that—was coming to an end. They would just have to be acquaintances for James’ sake and that was going to be it.

It sounded like a nightmare even in his own mind, and he’d mapped it out a hundred times, none of them ending well for him. Most of the time in his own mind, Geno just shrugged him off and asked him to leave. That was pretty much the best and the worst case scenario. He didn’t know how he actually wanted it to go.

Eventually the time did come around, though, for him to get ready to meet Geno at the hotel, and he got himself ready with the same level of care as always, staring at his reflection as he gelled his hair back and out of his face. Was he really doing this? Was he really ready to do this?

There just wasn’t any turning back now, he’d already made his decision. He was going to do this.

The drive to the hotel is mostly uneventful, just the butterflies in his stomach to keep him company. He made his way slowly to the door, and waited just a minute to make sure that he had himself completely under control before knocking on it firmly a few times. He didn’t have to wait long before the other man was pulling it open with a wide smile that nearly left Sidney breathless.

Yeah, this was going to be harder than any of the run thrus he’d done in his own mind.

“Sid, it’s good to see you.”

Sidney nodded and stepped inside, swallowing hard as he took his time stripping off his outerwear. He’d thought it would be best to give Geno one last appointment before he completely broke it off, but it was really more of a gift to himself than anything else.

“It’s good to see you, too. Sorry about the road trip.”

Geno just shrugged a little, stepping aside to let Sidney further into the room. “Can’t win them all. Still in playoff race, that’s all that really matters.”

Sidney nodded, because he agreed with that completely. That was all that mattered, and maybe that would make Geno feel better about this whole thing, too?

“So you watched the games? I think Nealsy scored some goals for you.” 

There was a strange tone to Geno’s voice when he said that, but it was something that Sidney couldn’t really translate, and really… he was still pretty worked up over what he had to do, he didn’t have time to translate whatever weirdness Geno was putting out. Instead he cleared his throat and drew in a deep breath before turning his body to face the other man.

“Look, Geno—“ The other man gave him his full attention, dark, wide eyes focused on him completely, and it was hard to be the focus of that much attention. He pushed past it though, drawing in another breath. “Look. Tonight… this has to be our last appointment.”

Geno frowned at him a little, looking like he didn’t quite understand what Sidney was saying. 

“What do you mean?”

Sidney licked his lips a little nervously. “Tonight has to be the last time that I see you as a client.”

Geno just shook his head. “Why? I don’t understand. Did I do something wrong?”

Something in Sidney’s chest twisted at that, and he shook his head quickly. “No, of course not. That’s not it at all. You didn’t do anything wrong at all. I’m just… it’s just that I need to cut my client list down, I’m taking a bit of a break to focus more on my work at the gym.”

It was a speech he’d practiced in the mirror a few times to avoid spilling the truth by accident at any point that night. 

“Oh—but I thought this was a good thing, this arrangement? You don’t like it?”

Sidney flushed a little, swallowing hard again. Geno was arguing it with him, which definitely hadn’t occurred to him in any of the run thrus he’d had in his own mind.

“It’s not that, I just really need to focus on my work at the gym. I’m thinking about making a career out of training people, and this is… it’s a distraction. It’s really for the best. I just thought it was better to tell you the truth than to just stop seeing you and not tell you anything.”

Even though every word coming out of his mouth right then was a lie. 

“Oh—Guess there’s no changing your mind then?”

Sid thought that actually if Geno argued much more with him, there was a pretty good chance that he could change his mind pretty easily, but he just shook his head instead. “No, I think this is for the best. I need to concentrate on the rest of my life. It’s not like we won’t ever see each other. You can still come into the gym whenever you want. I’ll still see you that way.”

He was babbling, of course, which only happened when he wasn’t sure what else to do.

Geno nodded, his eyes downcast, and Sidney’s insides were all torn up. He wasn’t sure at all that what he was doing was the right thing when Geno looked like that. How could it be? Why couldn’t he make this whole thing work?

“But tonight I get what I want?”

Sidney was shocked back to reality by Geno’s voice, quieter than it usually was, and he nodded quickly. That had been the plan. One last night for the both of them.

“Yeah, of course. Tonight you can have anything you want.”

Geno nodded, stepping closer to Sidney, his hand coming up to cup his cheek, his fingers sliding lightly against his bottom lip, making them part a little. He let his tongue slide out a little to brush against the pad of Geno’s thumb, just tasting his skin and enjoying the way the other man’s eyes narrowed just a little.

He wanted to give Geno anything he wanted tonight. He really wanted to give Geno anything that he wanted any night, but especially tonight. Maybe even a little for himself.

Geno let his fingers fall from Sidney’s face so that he could take a step closer; brushing their lips together and Sidney didn’t make a move, just stood there, still as he could.

“Good. Know what I want already.”

Sidney swallowed hard and blinked up at the other man.

“What is it?”

Geno pulled back a little, his fingers coming up to begin unfastening the buttons of Sidney’s shirt.

“Want you to fuck me.”

Sidney choked a little, blinking in surprise before he licked his lips. “Are you serious?”

Geno just nodded, unbuttoning the last button on Sidney’s shirt before pushing it off of his shoulders and letting it fall to the floor, sliding his hand down his chest.

“Am always serious. Don’t you want to?”

Of course Sidney wanted to. He’d thought about it a fair amount of times. Maybe more than a fair amount of times, but he’d never thought that it would actually happen.

“Of course I do. I’m not crazy,” was what eventually came out of his mouth, causing a flush high up on his cheeks.

Geno grinned at him a little, his fingers coming up to work deftly at the buttons of his own shirt, making quick work of them before it joined Sidney’s on the ground. 

“Good. Glad to hear it.”

Sid nodded and stepped forward, sliding his hands up Geno’s chest and enjoying the feel of hard muscle of his chest. He didn’t ever want to forget the way the other man felt under his fingertips. He tried hard not to think too much about that, but it was definitely at the forefront of his mind, whether he liked it or not.

“Pants?” Geno asked with a small grin, and Sidney nodded, reaching into his pocket to pull out the condom and lube, tossing it onto the bed before reaching down to work at the button of his pants, before shoving them down his legs quickly and kicking them aside quickly. Usually he would be worried about folding them and being sure that his clothes weren’t going to be wrinkled by the time they were finished all of this, but tonight—tonight he didn’t want to take his eyes off of Geno any longer than he had to. He was already too busy doing the right thing.

He glanced down at where Geno’s hands were resting on the fastening of his pants, but weren’t moving and frowned a little bit. “Aren’t you going to take yours off, too?”

Geno blinked a little to himself before grinning a little tightly and nodding. “Yes, of course.”

And his fingers moved with the quick practice of someone who clearly got dressed and undressed very often, dropping his pants to the ground and kicking them off to the side into the pile with Sidney’s clothes, and this time it was Sidney who closed the distance between them, one hand coming up to rest on Geno’s chest and the other coming up to wrap around the back of his neck as he brought their mouths together, kissing him hard on the mouth.

Geno’s arms came around his waist, holding him tightly so that they were pressed closely together, the kiss tinged with an edge of desperation that Sidney had thought his kisses with James had been missing. He thought all great kisses should be like this.

They stood like that for a few minutes, just kissing each other, holding each other, before they had to pull apart to catch their breaths. And Sidney was breathing a little heavily, his chest heaving, as he led Geno back towards the bed, stumbling just a little. 

Geno let out a bit of a gruff laugh as the back of his knees hit the bed and they fell onto it with less grace than usual, and even Sid was grinning a little as he stared down at the other man.

“Sorry, that wasn’t the most graceful.”

Geno shook his head, reaching up to push the bit of hair that had come separated from the rest out of Sid’s face. “Don’t mind.”

Sidney flushed a little and leaned down to kiss him softly again. He couldn’t really help himself.

Geno returned the kiss and they lie there just kissing and shifting against each other a little awkwardly for a few minutes before they pull apart again. Sidney had no idea that he could just enjoy kissing a person as much as he enjoyed kissing Geno. There’s just something about it.

He’ll just have to get over it.

Shifting a little, he worked his thigh between Geno’s legs, pressing it up against the half-hardness of the other man’s cock, rubbing up against him slowly, and enjoying the way that Geno’s eyes closed and his mouth fell open in response. Objectively maybe it wasn’t that hot, but to Sid it was probably one of the hottest things he could have seen. It had heat rushing through him for sure.

His own cock was pressing little harder up against his belly in response and he pressed down to get a little friction with every upward movement of his thigh. He heard Geno make a small sound and then the other man’s hands were sliding down between them and slipping beneath the elastic of his boxer shorts to get a loose grasp on his cock, a gasp escaping him.

Like this, Sidney could feel the callouses that had built up on Geno’s hands from all the years of handling his stick without his gloves, all of those years of practicing and getting better and better. That only spurred him on more. 

He pressed down with his thigh a little more firmly, and captured the loud groan that fell from Geno’s mouth with his lips, kissing him hard as they moved against each other like that. It was slow and it was good. He didn’t really want to rush things too much tonight. Not on their last night. Not when he had the other man spread out under him like this, moaning for him, hard for him, breathing heavily and looking up at him with eyes blown wide.

Not when he’d done that with so little effort. He knew Geno was looking up into practically a mirror image of that expression, too. 

Finally, though, Sidney pulled away from the feeling of Geno’s hand on his cock with a reluctant look, and reached down to slowly pull the other man’s boxer briefs down off of him, tossing them onto the floor before doing the exact same thing with his own. 

He swallowed hard as his gaze moved eagerly over the naked expanse of Geno’s body, taking in every scar and blemish on his body, wanting to remember every part of it, no matter how awkward that might make things at time. It would be worth it. 

“Gonna fuck me now?”

Sid licked his lips, nodding as he reached for the lube, ripping the packet open and spreading it over a couple of his fingers. 

“Yeah, I need you to spread your legs for me.”

Geno grinned up at him, that same tight grin from before and not the open one that Sidney had been hoping for, as Sid moved to situate himself between the other man’s legs. Geno reached down and slid his fingers lightly against Sid’s cheek, before Sidney lowered his head and brushed his lips against the head of Geno’s cock, relishing in the gasp it elicited from the other man. He could never get over how powerful this situation made him feel just being able to take a big, strong man and turn him into this with just a few touches.

Taking the head of Geno’s cock into his mouth, he reached back and pressed the tip of his finger slowly into the other man, taking his time in working it into him. Geno was tight and he couldn’t help but wonder how many times he’d let someone do this to him. It made something roar to life inside of Sidney, and he relaxed his jaw a little, taking in more of the other man’s cock, pressing his finger deeper and trying his best to coordinate the thrusting of his fingers with the movement of his lips over Geno’s cock.

Geno’s hips were moving a little restlessly under him, and he used his free hand to hold him down, pressing the tip of his second finger inside of him as he pulled his mouth off of his cock and mouthed down the length of his cock to suck lightly at his balls, feeling his thighs shaking lightly around him. He wanted to make Geno feel as good as possible tonight. Wanted to make sure to leave as much of a lasting impression as possible, if this was the last time they were going to see each other like this. 

He pressed his fingers deeper inside of the other man, feeling around just a little until he can twist them and press them forward just _so_ , and Geno hips bucked forward a little and he was gasping for breath.

“There, there,” he murmured, staring down at Sidney with wide eyes.

Sidney nodded and carefully massaged that same spot again, pressing slow kisses up the length of his cock.

“You want another finger?”

Geno just shook his head, spreading trembling legs impossibly wider.

“Just want you in me now,” he breathed.

Sid groaned a little at that, and pulled his fingers a little reluctantly out of the other man as he reached for the condom, ripping the package open and sliding it over his cock, wrapping his fingers around the base and breathing in a few times to keep himself calm. He didn’t want it to end too soon.

“Come on,” Geno urged, and Sid was nodding, sliding forward and between the other man’s legs, holding his cock firmly before pressing the tip carefully at Geno’s hole, pushing inside as slowly as he could manage. His breath was sticking a little uncomfortably in his chest as he held as still as he could one he was pressed all of the way inside of the other man.

He hadn’t even thought to do this in a more positionally friendly position. He’d wanted to see Geno’s face while he fucked him, hadn’t wanted to miss a moment of it. Geno wasn’t arguing it with him, either. Was jut staring up at him, expression unreadable as he fought to catch his breath.

“Okay?” Sidney asked, shifting his hips just a little.

Geno nodded, moving his legs a little so that one was wrapped around Sidney’s hips, holding him impossibly tighter. Sidney didn’t think it would be possible for them to be any closer than they were in that moment.

“Okay.”

Sidney nodded in return, finally letting out the breath he’d been holding, and pulled out a little, pushing back in shallowly, groaning at how good it felt. Geno echoed the sound, and they were moving fairly easily together, their gazes locked together as Sidney stared down at Geno while they moved. It was impossible to look away. There was nowhere else that he’d rather be looking, really, nowhere else worth looking at in that moment.

He knew that it wasn’t going to last as long as he wanted it to. It felt too good to be buried inside of the other man, but he still wanted to make sure that he was making him feel as good as possible. He reached down and wrapped his hand around his cock, stroking up the length of it slowly, pumping him in time with his thrusts.

Geno was arching up into the movement of it, obviously struggling to keep his gaze focused on Sidney. Sidney hoped that he would break it soon, though, because there was a lump in his throat that was hard to swallow around and his vision was a little blurred, and if he cried in the middle of this, it would ruin everything he’d worked so hard for. Geno’s gaze was wavering a little, his mouth still hanging open a little as they moved; sweat beading at his hairline, and Sidney still thought that he looked like the hottest thing he’d ever seen.

“Sid, Sid,” Geno was breathing, his eyes finally sliding closed as his legs tightened around Sidney, and his whole body was tightening around him, and Sidney couldn’t help the gasp that escape him as he felt Geno come, spilling hot over his hand in thick, sticky strips that just seemed to keep coming as he continued to stroke him.

As Geno came down, Sidney swallowed hard and licked his lips, tilting his head down to brush their noses lightly together. “Do you need me to stop?”

Geno just shook his head, reaching up to grab at Sidney’s hips, holding them closer together.

“No, don’t. Want to feel Sid come, too.”

Sidney nodded, lowering his head further so that he could bury his face in the crook of Geno’s neck, breathing in the heavy scent of him there. He wanted to remember that, too. Wanted to remember everything. He moved his hips a little faster in quick, snapping thrusts that had him breathing heavily until finally he was groaning and pushing his hips in one last time and holding himself perfectly still as he came.

He collapsed a little heavily on top of Geno, breathing hard, and just enjoying the way Geno’s arms came around him to hold him there. It felt good and comfortable and safe—and it wasn’t real, because he was Geno’s hooker and this was just their last time.

He felt emotionally exhausted, but it wasn’t even over yet. As he pulled back from the other man, holding carefully to the base of his cock as he pulled out and tied off the condom, he glanced around for the trash bin before Geno reached out to grab for him, kissing him hard on the mouth with a desperation that he was sure he’d never felt in his entire life. Not even in other kisses that they’d shared before. A desperation that certainly didn’t belong anywhere after sex like that.

As they pulled apart, Sidney licked his lips and swallowed hard. This was even harder than he’d thought. His whole body was screaming at him just to stay with Geno, just to get back on that bed and curl up with the other man, because that was clearly what he was made to do, but that was all the proof that he needed that he was doing the right thing. There was no way that that was a normal thing to think when he was who he was.

“That was goodbye?” Geno asked quietly as Sid stepped away from him and moved over to begin separating his clothes from Geno’s, dressing himself as quickly as possible. He needed to get out of there quickly, before he did something stupid—like stay.

“Yeah, that was—that was goodbye. But you can come by the gym anytime. Don’t be a stranger.” He forced himself to say as he was getting dressed, walking over to the door, pulling on his coat as quickly as possible. “Yeah, it was—it was a good goodbye. Kind of the best, right?”

Geno just nodded, still sitting naked on the bed, staring at Sidney.

“I’ve got to—I’ve really got to go now, though. Things to do. I’m sorry to just run out on you.”

Geno shook his head, his expression still unreadable. “Goodbye, Sid.”

Sid felt his stomach tighten a little, and wondered why the goodbye felt so final.

He offered the other man a small smile and a wave before sliding out the door.

Driving home, he didn’t even turn on the radio to tune out his thoughts. There was no use. He just wanted to get home and climb into bed, try to put himself out of his misery for the night. He’d done the right thing in cutting things off with Geno. It was his chance to try to be regular Sid again until he could hop back on the horse.

It wasn’t until he was walking through his front door and tossing his keys into the bowl by the door that he realized that he hadn’t actually taken any money from Geno for the last time. Hadn’t wanted to take any money from him, either. It would have made the whole thing feel cheaper, somehow.

It was the first time he’d had sex without being paid for it since he’d been a teenager, and that just made him feel a little more despaired. 

But he’d finally done the right thing.

His phone beeped, and he pulled it out of his picket to see that he’d gotten a text from Nealsy.

**party tomorrow night! You in?**

He didn’t feel like it right now, for sure, but he’d already agreed to it, and it would be the chance he probably needed to get back into the swing of things of seeing Geno like a regular person. Better to rip off the band aid then to linger over it.

**sure**

**text me your address and ill pick you up!**

Sidney did, and worked his way up to his room, completely forgoing his usual sandwich. He didn’t really feel like he earned it. He just wanted to go to sleep, anyways.


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The worst party ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thanks for the comments, you guys. They're so sweet and I appreciate them so much! c: You guys are wonderful.

All things considered, Sidney thought that he had himself as back to normal as he could expect by the next day. He hadn’t slept that well, tossing and turning and constantly feeling like when he was rolling over, like there should be someone in the bed next to him. Which was ridiculous, because he hadn’t ever shared his bed with another person.

Still, though, his bed had felt too big and too empty, and he’d found himself with his face buried in his extra pillow, just breathing in as evenly as possible until he could convince himself to fall asleep. 

By the time he’d woken up, he knew that he’d looked about as good as he felt, but he’d made the effort to get up and shower, trying to wash away the night, before getting dressed. Knowing that he was going to a party didn’t really lift his mood, not that he’d really thought that it would, and he thought about texting James to tell him that he wasn’t really going to come along, but he had given him his word, and as much as he was tempted to avoid Geno… that same part of him wanted to see him again. Didn’t really want to be away from him. Which was why he’d stopped seeing him as a client in the first place. This couldn’t be that bad. He was still doing the right thing, he just had a weakness. A big, Geno shaped weakness—he was only human, after all.

He spent a couple of hours tidying up his house. Not that it was dirty by any means, he was something of a neat freak on his own, but there were a few things that he’d been putting off, and he didn’t mind going down to his gym and wiping down all of his equipment. It was cathartic. It was a good way to waste the time until he heard the doorbell ring, and made his way up the stairs, turning off the light to his small gym to answer the door for James.

When he opened the door, the other man was standing there looking a little flustered with what looked like a Christmas gift in his arms, and Sidney felt his stomach drop a little. He hadn’t thought that they were anywhere near the stage in their almost-relationship where they were gift giving. He hadn’t got anything for the other man. Hadn’t even really thought of it at all. He didn’t usually give gifts to anyone outside of his family, anyways. Not even with Mario or his family, who he usually spent the holidays with.

There must be something obvious on his face, because James was just laughing at him a little as he stepped through the entrance way, pushing the gift into his hands.

“Hey, calm down. It doesn’t even really count as a gift. But the look on your face is pretty priceless. It’s just so that you’ll match everyone else. I didn’t think you were the kind of guy who would already have one.”

Sidney frowned a little, not really sure what he could possibly mean by that, but moved his fingers to carefully pull the tape free before unwrapping the gift without tearing the paper to reveal what was probably the [ugliest Christmas sweater](http://images.plurk.com/qRbi7hCcBPYB0BjKXffxj.jpg) he’d ever seen.

“I guessed at your size.”

“I can’t wear this.”

James raised a brow at him, and shook his head. “You have to. It’s an ugly sweater party. I’m guessing you don’t have anything like that upstairs?”

Sidney felt a small bubble of panic well inside of him. He couldn’t be seen in something like this. People would always remember him as the guy in the gingerbread shirt.

“Hey, calm down, man. You won’t be the only one in an ugly sweater. I’m not exactly rocking it out.”

And James opened his jacket to show Sidney a sweat that was [ infinitely worse](http://images.plurk.com/4aSZCOwyYt32i2qYsBosDq.jpg) than what he’d given him.

“Well, I’m kind of rocking it. I don’t look so bad, do I?”

Sidney had to hold back a small hiccup of laughter as he shook his head, slowly pulling the gingerbread sweater up and over his own head, being careful not to mess up his hair too much. It was embarrassing, but if he didn’t wear it, it would probably be worse. He didn’t want to be the only one not participating in the theme of the party. Probably another reason why he shouldn’t have gone, but it was too late now.

“Better?” He asked James who was smirking at him.

“Hey, it doesn’t look so bad now that it’s on you,” the other man said, taking a step closer to him and Sidney knew it was coming and carefully held himself still, bracing for the kiss so that he wouldn’t be too tense by the time James’ lips were covering his.

It was a soft, chaste kiss, and he felt like he had worked it up to be more than it had been, but as he swallowed hard and offered the other man a small grin, he realized that gone was the warm comfort he’d felt the last time the other man had kissed him.

He just felt uneasy now. Like it was wrong. Was it because he knew that he wasn’t feeling the same thing for James that he’d felt for Geno? What was wrong with him? There was absolutely nothing wrong with James, and the other man was making every effort to be kind to him, which was really more than he deserved in this moment, but he still couldn’t bring himself to feel that spark.

Was he just waiting to feel that spark? Was it normal to wait for it? Did he really _need_ it?

He climbed into the car with James, shivering just a little at the cool leather and leaned back against the seat. James reached out and rested his hand on Sidney’s knee for a second before replacing both hands on the steering wheel and pulling out of the driveway and out towards where the party was being held.

“You’ll love the party. The guys always go all out with their sweaters, too. Ours will probably be tame compared to some of theirs. Sometimes you’ll see guys who have sweaters that light up and stuff. It’ll probably make you laugh.”

Sidney nodded, swallowing hard. He was having a bit of a hard time keeping himself totally calm the closer that they got to the party. He was going to see Geno. He thought that maybe James would be a calming influence, but it wasn’t really working. He couldn’t stop thinking about Geno. He’d been so wrong about this. He should just ask James to take him home. Feign sick and just go back.

“We’re here.”

“What, already?”

James raised a brow at him.

“We’ve been driving for like twenty minutes, man.”

Sidney swallowed hard again and nodded, sliding out of the car. Right. Too late to turn back now.

“Okay, right. Let’s go in.”

They headed inside, and it was obvious as soon as they made their way into the room that had been set aside for the party, that James was right. Most of the guys had gone all out with their sweaters, and if James hadn’t brought Sidney a sweater, he would have definitely been the odd man out. He felt a warm rush of appreciation for James, and grinned a small, tight grin over at the other man. When he glanced back out at the party, he caught sight of Geno, and it was like a punch to the gut.

The other man looked great, even though he was, in fact, dressed in a [ sweater](http://images.plurk.com/2w9MvwoyKHG0Kw5vHGATAw.jpg) that was just as ugly as the rest of them. Sidney didn’t mind it, though, not on him.

His defensive mechanism or something must have kicked in, because he pressed himself a little closer to James’ side and kept his gaze lowered as they made their way over to where Paul was gesturing them over. Or gesturing James over. Whatever.

“I thought you were never going to get here. Nice sweater. I didn’t know you were going to bring someone.”

James just grinned at Paul, throwing an arm around Sidney’s shoulders, making him tense a little in surprise and slight discomfort.

“Yeah, you remember Sidney?”

“Yeah, I remember.”

“Hey,” Sidney said, shifting a little under James’ arm, but not shrugging him off, wishing for that comfortable feeling that he’d felt before. He’d give just about anything for it, now. Instead, he was fighting the urge to let his gaze slide back over to where Geno had been standing before.

James led them over to the drinks table and pushed eggnog into Sidney’s hand. After the first sip it was pretty obvious just how much rum there was in it, but Sidney was just relieved, and he wasted no time in drinking it down quickly.

“Woah, a little thirsty there, Sid?” James asked, pausing in what he’d been saying to Paul in order to refill his drink.

Sidney just shrugged a little. “It’s a party, right? I’m thirsty.”

James just grinned and tightened his arm around his shoulders before going back to whatever he’d been saying to Paul.

Sidney didn’t feel particularly involved in their conversation, but then he never really did whenever Paul was around James. There was just something about when you got the two of them together where they managed to tune out the rest of the world. Sidney wondered if James realized that he did that. Probably not.

He didn’t feel the same itch of jealousy that he’d felt last time, and he wondered if that was because he was so aware of his feelings for Geno this time. Last time he’d been so confused, wondering between James and Geno, but this time--- he knew that the one he wanted was Geno, but he was trying to make this work with James, because Geno didn’t want him and he’d already made the effort to break it off with him.

He handed his empty cup back over to James who paused in his conversation from Paul again to refill it. Paul didn’t look pleased at all. Sidney was starting to think that the other man didn’t really like him. Not that he could blame him. Sid thought that it was pretty obvious that there was something there, between the two of them, that James was just not aware of yet, and it was clear that Sidney had come between it whether he’d meant to or not.

He definitely felt like something of a third wheel when he was standing there with the two of them, whether or not he was the one that James had his arm around.

“Sid?”

Sidney blinked a little through the bit of fog in his mind and stared up at James. Oh yeah, he was definitely starting to feel the eggnog now. Good. He deserved a bit of a break from all of those feelings. If this was the only way to make it through this party, then he was still going to make it through the party, who cared how?

“I’ve gotta use the can, come on, I’m gonna leave you with Geno.”

Sidney opened his mouth to protest, but they were already walking towards where Geno was standing alone, and before he realized what was happening, he was standing right in front of the other man, staring at him a little blearily. Geno was nursing a drink and looked a little caught off guard by the time that they got to him. They were staring at each other by the time James spoke.

“Hey, G, would you mind watching my boy for me while I use the can? I don’t want any of these losers to fill his head with stories about me, and besides it’d give you two time to catch up. We’ve barely seen any of you tonight.”

Geno licked his lips, and Sidney mirrored the movement without realizing that he was doing it. His eyes fixed firmly on his mouth for a moment before he caught himself.

“How do you know I won’t tell him stories about you?”

“Because you’re better than that, aren’t you?”

Geno just waved his hand in the air. “Just go, Lazy. I’ll do it.”

James offered Geno a grin and left, leaving the two of them standing there in an awkward silence. Geno was very deliberately not looking at Sidney, and Sidney swallowed hard. This was going to be pretty awkward. He scowled a little, and there was really only so much of the silence he could take before he couldn’t take it anymore. Maybe it was the alcohol talking, but something was making him brave and he has to speak.

“I’m sorry, this was a bad idea. I shouldn’t have agreed to come tonight at all. I wasn’t really thinking.” Which was the opposite of the truth, really. He’d over thought it until he was practically blue in the face.

Geno just shook his head, pursing his lips. “Is fine, Sid, just wasn’t expecting to see you again so soon. And with Nealsy.”

Sid couldn’t help but to flush at that. He wasn’t really sure what Geno meant by that. “I had to give it one more go now that we’re not… you know.”

Geno finally looked at him. “Didn’t realize you were having a problem with it because of me.”

Sid frowned a bit because he hadn’t meant for it to come out like that at all.  
“That’s not what I meant. It was more complicated than that—you know that. But it’s hard to try and see someone when you’re in my kind of work.”

Geno just nodded and looked away again. “So you really wanted to stop for Nealsy? That was the real reason? Should have just said so, Sid. I wouldn’t have argued with you. Wouldn’t fight with you, then.”

Sid felt the same warmth that he always felt whenever Geno talked about his team or his family build in his chest, and tamped it down, because it was a really inappropriate time to be feeling anything of the sort.

“It wasn’t that—It—“ Was there really any point in hiding it anymore? He had already pretty much ruined every chance he’d ever had with Geno when he’d broken it off with him in the first place. They’d never really had a chance. Maybe in another world or in another life if they’d met before Sidney had been his hooker and maybe if Geno had been interested in him in his real life, but what harm could come from just telling him the truth right now? He felt brave. He felt like he could just get it out in the open and move on, and things would finally be all right. No more lies. Geno deserved that much. Sidney felt like maybe _he_ deserved that much. Like maybe that was why he couldn’t just move on.

“It wasn’t because of Nealsy at all, Geno, it was because of you. We had to stop because there was something there-- for you. Maybe since the beginning. I had to stop because what we were doing wasn’t professional at all.” He kept his voice lowered now, because of the subject matter. The last thing he needed was for someone to hear them. Especially someone like Paul. He caught sight of James stepping out of the washroom and heading back over to where Paul was standing by the drinks table, but the other man made no move to come over to where he and Geno were still talking. 

That was lucky.

“Wasn’t professional? How? I was paying you. Except for the last time. You forgot to take the money, but that wasn’t—that was different. It was just a mistake that you forgot to take the money.”

Geno sounded confused, and Sidney swallowed hard, licking his lips.

Sidney shook his head. “Not because of that. Because I had feelings for you that were inappropriate for someone like me to have for someone like you. Not just friendship type feelings, either. Real feelings _Feeling_ , feelings.” He didn’t know why he was pushing It so much, but now that the words were coming out of him, it was so important that Geno understand what he was saying. If he didn’t—well then, it was like the whole thing was being wasted. All of this faux bravery. 

Geno just stared at him a little blankly and Sid felt all the blood rushing to his face, his stomach dropping a bit in shame. 

“Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I’m going to go and drown myself or something.”

Geno just kept standing there, like he didn’t know what to say or do, looking ridiculous in his ugly sweater and Sidney rushed off to the washroom to clear his head. He couldn’t believe that he’d actually confessed his feelings for Geno. At this party of all places. What had he been thinking? Had he even been thinking at all? Probably not. That was one of the reasons he’d promised himself that he wouldn’t drink at public functions, and one of many reasons that he should have kept his distance from Geno and just stuck to James like glue the way he’d planned to from the beginning.

He was alone in the washroom, a small miracle that he was grateful for, and he splashed a little water on his face the coolness of it clearing his mind a little.

The quiet of the room was shattered pretty quickly, though, when Geno stormed into the room, looking like he finally had something to say.

“Can’t keep just running away from me every time, Sid.”

“Who said I’m running away? I just humiliated myself for no reason, and I’m trying to get a little bit of my dignity back. Is that really so bad?”

Geno just shook his head at Sid, taking a step closer to him. Sidney instinctively took a step away.

“Finally telling the truth isn’t losing your dignity, and it’s not for no reason!” He looked a little angry at that.

“You don’t need to hide in the washroom for that.” He paused. “You _were_ telling the truth, yes?”

Something in Geno’s voice made Sid nod and he swallowed hard. “Of course it was the truth. I wouldn’t make something like that up.”

Geno’s expression changed but Sidney had never been that good at reading people. So it wasn’t something that was that useful to him. He wished it was.

“Didn’t want to stop seeing you, Sid. Wanted to see you more, even. Learn more about you, your family, why you stopped playing hockey, the things you like and the things you hate. Even though you hardly liked to talk about yourself. Thought maybe with more time you would open up more for me. Was willing to pay for it if that was the only way. Would still pay for it if that’s the only way that I can get to know you. Just wanted _more_ , not for you to suddenly come and say goodbye and then show up with Nealsy as his date the next day.”

Sidney was flushed from head to toe, because that sounded a whole lot like Geno was interested in more than just Sid the hooker.

“Have been watching you, Sid. Have been having feelings for you that I shouldn’t have for a hooker, but I’ve never had a hooker before—didn’t really know what to do with them. Didn’t know what was the right thing to do with feelings like that. Then you started to date Nealsy, and I think… maybe you just want to be my hooker and nothing else. Maybe I made a mistake in thinking you could have feelings for me too. What was I supposed to do? How was I supposed to act? Try to give you your distance, but it felt wrong, and it didn’t seem to work too well for me, since you just see Nealsy more when I did that.”

Sid let out a shaking breath, clutching at the sink counter tightly as he finally took a step closer to Geno.

“I thought you just liked the part of me that you were paying for,” he said a little helplessly.

Geno frowned a little. “Why did you date Nealsy?”

His cheeks were so hot by this point, he could feel it. “Because he liked me and he was nice… and he asked me.” It sounded completely lame to his own ears, he couldn’t imagine what it must have sounded like to Geno’s.

Geno was still frowning, but he nodded slowly, taking that final step that separated the distance between them to cup Sid’s cheek with his hand, thumb brushing against his bottom lip slowly. 

“And if I asked you?”

Sid let his eyes slip closed and for a moment forgot that he had just been Geno’s hooker and was attending the party as James’ date and was standing there in a seriously hideous gingerbread man sweater that had to make this whole situation look more ridiculous than the serious situation that it really was.

“I’d say you should probably kiss me right now.”

Geno wasted no time in pressing close to Sid, tilting his head and closing his mouth over Sid’s, kissing him hungrily.

It was a great kiss, a deep one and he was clutching at the wool of Geno’s sweater, holding him closer and humming in pleasure into the kiss when the door of the washroom slammed open.

“Hey Sid, did you come in he---?”

James’ voice trailed off as he caught them pulling away from each other, but not quickly enough.

They stood there like that, the three of them, in an extremely uncomfortable silence for a moment.

“Nealsy—James---“

James just shook his head, looking between them, his expression open and hurt.


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Fifteen and Sixteen were actually meant to be together as one chapter and that's why the double post tonight.

James was standing there, just staring between them, his expression open and hurt and _angry_ as Sidney finally stepped the rest of the way away from Geno and took a half step towards James. The other man shook his head and stepped back and away from him.

“Don’t—“

Sid flinched a little, but guessed that it wasn’t entirely unexpected. He should have guessed that not everything could just work out perfectly, and the three of them could go skipping down the street like nothing had happened.

“Nealsy, it’s not what it looks like,” Geno began.

James’ expression twisted into something ugly, then, and he turned his attention to Geno, shaking his head. “Not what it looks like? Do you have any idea what this even looks like? How could it be anything other than what it looks like? Which is not good for either of you, by the way. God, I feel so stupid. When I said the two of you should catch up, I promise that I didn’t mean anything like this!”

He sounded a little hysterical, and the guilt was gnawing angrily in the pit of Sidney’s stomach.

“We didn’t mean for it to go like this, I swear,” he finally managed to get out, taking another half step towards James who threw his hands up in a bit of a defensive motion, stopping Sidney in his tracks.

“You mean that you didn’t mean for me to catch you like this. Well then maybe you should have waited until you were at a less public party before deciding that you couldn’t keep your hands off of each other,” he snapped. 

Sid flinched a little at that, but he could admit that maybe James wasn’t entirely wrong on that point. They probably could have picked a better time to realize their feelings for each other.

“Nealsy…” Geno was holding out his hands for the other man as he took a step towards him.

“Don’t, Geno, just don’t. Tell me one thing, though. Has this been going on the whole time? Was I just some kind of a joke to the two of you? Were you just yucking it up behind my back this whole time because I was making a fool out of myself?”

Sid felt a little sick at that, and didn’t really know how to answer. He and Geno hadn’t been together. Not really. Not like this. Not at all. Not unless you counted the times he’d seen him as a client. Which he suspected James might have if he knew. So in a way, they’d been doing something the whole time, but there wasn’t really any room to be ashamed of that now. Not now.

“No, of course not,” he answered hurriedly, shaking his head. “We wouldn’t do that. This was—this is new, James.”

Geno was shooting him an unreadable look, and Sidney swallowed hard and did his best to ignore it. He was trying to salvage whatever he could of the situation. He hardly thought it was time to tell James about his career choices.

“It’s complicated,” he finished lamely.

James just shook his head, stepping back again. “It doesn’t really seem that complicated to me, here let me uncomplicate it for you Sid,” he said, turning on his heel and stomping out of the room letting the door slam closed behind him.

Sidney ran a hand over his face slowly, sighing. “Shit.”

Geno just nodded, obviously agreeing with him. What else were they supposed to say about it?

“Yes, it’s definitely a mess. We’ll have to fix it with Nealsy. Tell him the truth eventually. Can’t leave things like this. I can’t live with things like this.”

Sid flinched a little at the idea of that conversation, but nodded. He knew that it was probably going to have to happen. If he wanted to be a part of Geno’s life, he couldn’t always hide from it. At least not where James was concerned. Maybe he’d even understand. Maybe. Maybe one day.

“You want to tell him I’m your hooker?”

Geno flushed a darkly and bowed his head a little.

“Maybe not that part of the truth, but the part where we fell for each other from seeing each other all the time and stuff and then just told each other tonight? All of that is true. Can tell him all of that.”

Sid thought it sounded a little weak even to his own ears, but James had always seemed like a bit of a romantic, maybe he would believe in something as easy as that. Geno seemed to believe it even as he was saying it. It was a part of what made the other man so appealing to Sidney.

“And what about us?”

The question was almost hesitant, hanging fragilely in the air between them. The moment they’d been sharing before James had shown up had been broken for sure as soon as the other man had shown up, and Sidney wasn’t sure how to get it back.

“Why don’t we talk about us over dinner like regular people? A date?”

Sidney licked his lips a little nervously, shifting his weight from side to side. That definitely sounded like something that he wanted. He hoped that they would be able to maintain some of the chemistry that they’d had before, even without Geno paying him for his time, because this was what he’d been hoping for all alone. Or that was what he thought, anyways. It was hard to tell when he was actually getting something that he’d wanted.

“Sounds good to me. Just pick a day and I’ll be ready.”

He groaned inwardly. That sounded way more desperate than he’d wanted it to.

“How about tomorrow night? After you’re done at work?”

Sidney grinned a little and nodded.

“That sounds… good. That sounds perfect.”

They stood there a little awkwardly just staring at each other for a few seconds neither of them moving, before they both looked towards the door again.

“I should probably leave. There’s no way Nealsy is going to want to see me here for the rest of the night and we can’t just keep hiding in the washroom, even if the company is great,” he finally said a little regretfully.

Geno looked a little torn, matching what Sidney was feeling, before he finally nodded. 

“Probably the right thing to do. Would go with you, but then he’d know and so it’s probably better to just go by yourself and maybe we could just take things a little slower this time.”

Which probably meant that they wouldn’t just be climbing into bed with each other any time soon. That was probably for the better, too, which Sidney was trying to remind himself, even though it wasn’t exactly the easiest task. He had to remember that sleeping with each other and not talking enough was what had gotten them into this whole mess in the first place. Or something like that.

He just nodded a little reluctantly. Geno was right, whether he liked it or not. Geno tended to be right.

“And it would probably just put Nealsy off to see us leaving together, anyways. That’s the last thing we need right now. I guess… you can try talking to him if he’ll let you. I’m guessing he’s going to let you talk to him a lot sooner than he’s going to let me, so just keep working at him until he gives in, all right? Everything’s going to be fine.”

It sounded a little like he was trying to convince himself, even to his own ears.

Geno just nodded at him, though.

“See what I can do. Nealsy is pretty stubborn when he wants to be, but I’ll work at him.”

Sidney grinned just a little at the other man. “Okay, I trust you. I guess… I’d better go, then.”

But he made no move to actually go. He just stood there staring at Geno, swaying a little in place like he knew that he should probably go, but being unable to move his feet. 

This time Geno grinned a little at him and leaned forward to frame Sidney’s face with his larger hands, stroking his cheeks with his fingertips before letting out a bit of a breathy laugh. Sid could smell the rum and eggnog mix on his breath. “Silly, Sid.”

And he kissed him then a soft, chaste brush of their lips together that Sid hummed into before they were both pulling away, wary of the door.

“Okay, okay. I guess I’m leaving for real now,” he said reluctantly.

Geno nodded, lowering his hands and tugging a little on Sid’s sweater. “Will see you tomorrow, though. Don’t worry.”

Sid nodded, licking his lips to taste Geno there before turning on his heel and making his way quickly out of the washroom before he could do something stupid like kiss the other man again.

Leaving the party was nothing like entering it. Having been caught in the washroom with Geno, Sid wasn’t sure what to expect when he went back out to where everyone else was, but he knew that there was always the chance that James could have informed his fellow teammates about what he’d walked in on. Sidney knew that if he had, it wouldn’t have boded well for him. Not that he thought James was that kind of guy, but the circumstances had been kind of extreme, and who knew what a person would do in those kinds of circumstances. Sidney didn’t know what he would have done if he’d walked in on the same thing. He’d just looked so upset, and even through the fog of happiness that he felt at having his feelings returned by Geno, he still felt incredibly guilty. He should have broken it off with James as soon as he’d known that he hadn’t felt that spark with him. Hindsight was 20/20, though and there was nothing he could do about it now. He really didn’t want to lose James as a friend, though. That comfortable warmth that he’d felt with him—that was something that he wanted to keep. That toothy grin and those silly comments that rarely made any sense. All of those things. He wanted to keep all of those things, because James had been his friend for those weeks that they’d been dating each other, and that was what he really wanted with the other man. He just wanted to make sure that they didn’t lose each other that way.

He’d do whatever it took, and he’d just have to rely on Geno.

He snuck carefully out of the party (which was harder to do than it sounded, dressed as ridiculously as he was dressed), and made his way outside to where he was able to pull out his phone and call a cab. It wasn’t his favourite way to get home, but he couldn’t very well ask James to take him home at the end of them night, now could he? 

Drawing in a deep, slightly uneven breath, he forced himself not to panic. Everything was going to be okay. Geno was going to help him fix things, and everything was going to be just fine. He and Geno were going to make a go of things, and James would come around. It was just going to take a little time.

A couple of times that night, though, he found himself with his fingers hovering over James’ name in a text message box, and has to remind himself to give the other man some space, not something that he was used to doing.

Once, though, he does give into the urge, because properly respecting people’s personal boundaries has never been something he’s been great at. Besides, how much of a downside can be texting ‘I’m sorry’ be?

By the time he fell asleep there was a bit of a furrow to his brow, but his lips were turned up in a half smile. All in all the night hadn’t been that bad.


	17. Chapter Seventeen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paulie, man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So close to being finished this fic, it feels like I've been working on it since forever.

The next day, he had a bit of a smile on his face when he walked into work, and Jennifer gave him a bit of a knowing look.

“Woah there, Sid. What happened to you? Did you finally get laid?”

Sidney flushed darkly, just shaking his head at her. If only she knew the truth about him, she wouldn’t be making jokes like that at all.

“None of your business, Jen. Just keep working the desk.”

She just grinned knowingly at him, tossing her hair over her shoulder, and going back to her filing.

He got changed quickly and headed out to find his first client of the day waiting for him. It was a good start. It was a good start to what he was determined to be a good day. There was no way he was going to have a bad day after yesterday.

It would be a lie, though, if he didn’t admit that for the first time he was wishing that Geno and James would walk through the automatic doors of the gym to surprise him. They didn’t come, though. He didn’t get any texts from Geno, either, which was a little disappointing, but he guessed that the other man was still busy trying to convince James that they weren’t all that bad.

His day did get a whole lot more interesting, though, when Paul Martin stomped through the front doors, only the whistle of the doors sliding open warning Sidney that anything was coming before the other man came up from his side.

“You,” Paul began, rearing back and punching him square in the jaw. 

Pain blossomed from Sid’s jaw all the way through his face and made him gasp a little in surprise as he brought both of his hands up to protect himself in case the other man decided to throw another punch. Luckily, though, it seemed like Paul was satisfied with just the one. In fact, he was rubbing at his knuckles like maybe he didn’t do it all that often.

Sidney cradled his face in his hands, hissing a little in the pain that was still heating his whole face. He was going to need an ice pack for sure. Though he was pretty sure he didn’t need to ask why Paul had hit him, he was pretty clear on what that was all about.

But they were making something of a scene. Jennifer was standing up from her seat, phone in her hand. “Sid, do you want me to call the police?”

Sidney just shook his head quickly, trying to ignore how that made him dizzy. Shit.

“No, it’s okay. It’s just a misunderstanding. We’ll get it all worked out. It’s going to be okay. Just get everyone back to work.”

He swallowed hard and turned his attention back to a seething Paul Martin.

“Mr. Martin—Paul, why don’t we go somewhere a little more private?”

Paul just shrugged a little and gestured for Sidney to lead the way.

Sidney breathed a little easier, blinking away the little black dots that were blurring his vision as he stepped through the gym, leading the way back to one of the employee lounges. There would be privacy (he hoped), and hopefully an ice pack or two still in the freezer for first aid emergencies.

When they got there, it was thankfully empty, and Sidney closed the door behind Paul, heading towards the freezer to pull out one of the ice packs and pressing it to his jaw gratefully. He didn’t know how smart of an idea it was to be in a closed room with the guy who had just attacked him, but Paul didn’t really seem like he was going to do it again, so he figured it was probably all right.

“Is this where you bring all the guys? Take them back to your private room? I’ve always wondered how it worked.”

Sidney glanced up, a little shocked before he flushed. That sounded like a little more than Paul should probably know about him. That or he was just trying to be insulting. Sidney wasn’t really sure what to make of it.

“What are you talking about? You do realize that it’s going to be all over Twitter in like five seconds that you attacked a guy at the gym, right?”

Paul just shrugged. “I’m sure coach and Shero will understand.”

Sid frowned a little. “What? That you’re standing up for James’ honour? Does he know you’re here? Did he _send_ you here?”

The idea of James sending someone to attack Sidney made him feel a little sick and he swallowed hard around the lump in his throat.

Paul just snorted a little and shook his head.

“No, of course he didn’t. He’s been complaining about you since last night, but he still thinks you’re some kind of good person or something. Doesn’t really know who you are, though, does he?”

Sidney’s gaze snapped up to Paul’s, his eyes a little wider now. There was no way that Paul could know. Not unless Geno had told him, and Sid was pretty sure that Geno wouldn’t have.

“What are you talking about?”

“I wasn’t going to say anything. Even though I think it’s pretty obvious that you don’t deserve him, you know. He should be with someone who wants to be with him as badly as he wants them. More than anything else in the world. Someone who can love him, not someone who is just somebody’s whore. I was okay with it when it looked like you were going to make him happy, but it’s obvious that you’re not in it for making anyone happy. Does Geno know about you?”

Sidney’s face was hot and he felt a spark of anger building in his abdomen.

“I’m not—how do you—James doesn’t know?”

Paul shook his head. “It would probably kill him. If he knew you were doing all of that behind his back.”

Sidney swallowed hard. 

“Geno already knows. I’m sorry to burst your bubble.”

Paul raised a brow at him. “How does Geno know?”

Sidney crossed his arms. “How do _you_ know?”

The other man just shrugged a little. “One of your so-called clients was a friend of mine. I saw you out with him a couple of times. Maybe if you don’t want people to know, you should just make them stay in the house all the time.”

Sidney flushed darker.

“That’s not really how it works.”

Paul just shook his head. “I don’t really care how it works. So Geno, huh? I didn’t ever think—So the whole time you were with James you were fucking around with Geno?”

Sidney shook his head. “I was working. That is my _job_.”

He snorted at Sidney then, shaking his head as he leaned back against the door. “What kind of job is that?”

“The kind of job that people who don’t play hockey get to choose. What’s the real problem here? I’m not lying to anyone anymore. I just want to be James’ friend. I’m not trying to date him anymore. I just want to be with Geno.”

Paul gave him a look that was clearly less than impressed. 

“He wants to be with me, too,” Sid finished defensively. He wasn’t sure what it was that was making him feel so defensive, but he felt like he needed to point that out.

“Why did you ever go after James if you were just interested in Geno? We could all see it—the way you watched him, how you followed him around. Were you just playing James the whole time? Was he some sort of game to you? Were you ever going to tell him about Geno, or were you going to wait until your fifth anniversary to spring it on him at dinner or something?”

Sid held the ice pack to his face a little more tightly, knuckles turning white.

“I was going to tell him eventually if it ever came down to that. It was my job, you know. Just like hockey is your job,” Paul snorted a little at that, shaking his head, but Sidney just continued on. “I’m proud of it, okay, but it’s not really anyone’s business. I know what people think of when they first find out. I know what James would have thought if he would have known that I was a hooker. I know that he would have thought that I wasn’t worth his time anymore, and if he’d known that Geno and I—I don’t know how he would have reacted to that, but there are rules, you know, I don’t talk about my clients to anyone. Not even to the people that I’m dating. Not even to other clients. Geno never knew anything about any of the other people that I was seeing because it wasn’t any of his business. But it wasn’t ever anything more than that between me and Geno until the night of the party,” he swallowed hard because that wasn’t entirely true, but it was too complicated to explain and he didn’t really owe that kind of explanation to someone that he barely knew.

“If it ever came to the point that I was going to spend my life with James, I would have told him about it. We had just started dating, what did you expect, that I would tell him all of my deepest secrets? It’s not like I knew everything about him!”

He drew in a deep breath, and in that pause, Paul began speaking again.

“James would have told you anything about himself that you wanted to know, and I think you know that. That’s where you and him are different. You were keeping a secret and he’s not even capable of that. James deserves someone that wants to be with him, and not someone that’s being with him just because they can’t have what they really want.”

Sidney was seething a little by this point, his face flushed red up to the tips of his ears.

“You mean someone like you?”

This time Paul’s face flushed darkly and he stuttered a little in trying to respond to Sidney.

“Oh, are you serious? That’s what this whole thing is about? You’re not here to defend his honour at all. You’re here because you’re jealous that someone like me, someone who you think obviously didn’t deserve him, got to have him and you didn’t, aren’t you?”

Paul’s mouth closed and he frowned darkly at Sidney, looking truly uncomfortable for the first time since the conversation had started. But Sidney wasn’t done. Paul had said too many things to him to let Sidney be finished that quickly.

“It doesn’t have anything to do with what I do for a living or with any of that other stuff. It bothers you that I thought anyone could be a better choice for anyone than James, because you think James is the _only_ choice, don’t you? I’ve seen the way you looked at him, but I didn’t realize that you were that far gone on the guy. James is a great guy, but he was never going to be the guy for me, and I wish I’d realized that sooner. Maybe he’s the guy for you, but you’re going to have to deal with that on your own instead of coming in here and venting your frustrations out on me. I doubt that your show of manliness is going to help your cause any, but if you really think that’s what James is looking for then please, feel free to show me how much of a man you are again.”

Paul just shook his head, his own hands balled into fists at his side.

“I might have feelings for the guy, but that doesn’t mean that what you did to him wasn’t wrong. It doesn’t matter when you decided to fool around with Geno or when you guys decided to start doing whatever without him paying you or when it stopped being a job and started being something else, what you did could have ruined their friendship and could have messed up our whole team dynamic, and it _did_ mess up James. He’s wrecked up over it, because even if he wasn’t the guy for you, he sure felt like you were the guy for him. I don’t care if you say that you were just doing your job, but you had to know that it was wrong to date James when you were still seeing Geno, even if he was paying you—which is still messed up, no matter what you say about it. I don’t know how you’re going to make it work, but you better hope that it still works out between the two of them, because they were real close before all of this went down. We need them in our team, but more than that, James still needs Geno and you’re right—I still need James, and I need him to still be James.”

Sidney’s chest was a little tight by the end of Paul’s rant and he lowered the ice from his jaw, opening and closing his mouth a few times to stretch it out, wincing just a little bit.

“Look, I wasn’t looking to hurt anyone. This whole thing was new to me, too. I didn’t think that anything was going to happen with Geno. I had no idea that he had feelings for me. I thought that I was just going to have a thing with James and that things with Geno were going to be the same as they were with my other clients.”

Paul was shaking his head, opening his mouth to argue again, but Sidney lifted a hand to stop him.

“Wait, let me finish. Maybe at some point I realized that it was the wrong thing to do, to see both of them. That’s when I stopped seeing Geno. The day before the party, before I said yes to a second date with James. I thought it was all over with Geno, but then things changed and he told me that he felt the same way about me—“

This time Paul did manage to speak. “That’s when James caught you in the washroom together. Real romantic.”

Sidney frowned a little. “Yeah, that’s when he caught us. It wasn’t the smartest we’ve ever been, but it wasn’t something we thought out or planned or anything. It just kind of happened like that. Neither of us went into it trying to hurt James. He is both of our friend. I don’t want to lose him as a friend, either. He made me feel something that I haven’t felt in a long time. I don’t have a lot of friends, you see—“

“Yeah, that’s not that hard to believe.”

Sidney ignored that, and just continued talking. “It’s not easy for me to trust people at all, but with James I felt so comfortable. That’s why I thought there might be a chance between me and him. But there was something so different about the way it felt with him and the way it felt with Geno. Don’t you think I owed it to myself and to him and to Geno to go with the way that it was obviously meant to go instead of just settling with what was the easiest?”

Paul just shrugged a little. “Right now I have a hard time saying that it was the best way to go with the way that made my friend look the way he looked when I left him this morning.”

Guilt gnawed at Sidney’s stomach.

“It would have been worse if I’d stayed with him out of pity, Paul. You’re right. He deserves someone who wants him the way I want Geno. I’m sure you know someone like that.”

The tips of Paul’s ears coloured a little, and he glanced away.

“James wants what he wants, and what he wants is you. It’s hard to fight that.”

Sidney just shook his head, wiping the hand that had been holding the ice pack on his shorts. 

“Maybe he just doesn’t know what he wants. Maybe he just needs a chance to feel what I’ve felt with Geno with a person who wants him like that.”

Paul’s gaze was still fixed firmly on a place to Sidney’s right. 

“Maybe he needs someone whose time is better spent with him when he feels like this than yelling at me over something that I can’t change.”

Paul finally met his gaze and they stood in silence for a moment.

“You think you know a lot of things.”

Sidney just shrugged. “I saw you watching him before. You’d have to have been blind to have missed it.”

Raising a brow, Paul retorted, “Really? Because you missed how Geno was watching you until after James had fallen for you and had decided to introduce you to the whole team as his boyfriend.”

Sidney blinked a little in surprise. “What?”

“Anyone could have told you, or you probably could have figured it out yourself if you’d stopped mooning over him and had actually noticed the fact that he was practically mooning over you, too. I don’t know how James missed it, but if the three of you paid half as much attention to the things going on around you as you did to each other, then maybe this whole situation could have been avoided.”

Sidney frowned a little, but didn’t really know how to argue with that logic. He didn’t know if it could be argued with.

“I’m sorry that you got caught up in this.”

Paul shook his head. “Don’t apologize for getting me involved. James is—he’s my—“ he looked at a loss for how to describe him, and just shook his head. “I can’t get mad at being involved when he is.”

Sidney nodded, swallowing hard. “Look, about the whole hooker thing. Could you not…”

He shook his head again. “I’m not going to tell him. It would ruin him, and I don’t think telling him that you were messing around with Geno the whole time—“ Sidney opened his mouth to argue, once again, that it had been his job, but Paul waved him off. “Save it, I don’t buy the job thing. I don’t think that telling him any of that is going to make him feel any better or get us anywhere. But if you try to hook up with him again or get too close to him… I swear I’ll tell him. I don’t want you messing with him again. He’s my friend. I’m not telling him for his sake. Not for yours.”

Sidney swallowed hard.

“I’m not going to. I just want a chance to be with Geno, and if I’m lucky… I want James to be my friend again. Maybe--- maybe even eventually, who knows, the two of us could be friends.”

Paul shrugged a little noncommittally. “Maybe one day. If all of this passes and James is okay.”

Sidney nodded, content with that for the time being.

“I was serious, though. Maybe what James needs right now is to know that someone wants him more than anything.”

Paul paled a little. 

“I know it seems like the most impossible thing—telling Geno, well, I was kind of drunk and it just seemed like there was nothing worse that could happen from telling him, but I think it could work for you. I think that James could really benefit from knowing that there’s someone who wants him more than they want anyone else.”

Paul just shrugged a little. “Maybe—look, I don’t want to lose James as a friend, and I’m sure he’s not in the mood to lose any more friends, either.”

Sidney shook his head. “I haven’t known James that long, but he hardly seems like the kind of guy who would stop being your friend just because you told him you had feelings for him. Everyone loves to hear that someone cares about them, and James… he really seems like that kind of guy.”

A thoughtful expression crossed Paul’s face, and he nodded slowly. “I’ll think about it. Maybe… maybe I will.”

Sidney smiled just a little, ignoring the way his jaw protested the movement. “I think you should. James deserves to be happy.”

Selfishly, he thought that if James were happy with someone else, it might help to further along his and Geno’s efforts to make him like them again.

“I’m just going to go—and I’m not really going to apologize for punching you. You kind of deserved it. If you’d seen James’ face this morning, you would have probably done the same thing.”

Sidney nodded slowly and stood up to open the door for Paul, following him out of the gym, ignoring the way people’s eyes seemed to track them as they went. Of course they’d made something of a scene before they’d went to the back room, so Sidney made sure to offer Paul his hand as they made their way to the front of the gym.

The other man stared at it a little warily for a second before he took it and shook it slowly before leaving.

He let out a breath that he hadn’t realized that he’d been holding, before heading back towards the reception desk.

“Is my next appointment here yet?”

Jennifer looked at him like he was crazy.

“Are you all right? What was that? Wasn’t that Paul Martin of the Penguins? Why did he punch you?”

Sidney flinched a little at all of the questions before answering her. “It was just a misunderstanding. Look, is my last appointment here?”

She shook her head. “No, they called in to cancel.”

He nodded and sighed. “Okay, then I’m just going to do a final walk through to see if anyone needs me and then leave.”

She nodded and he stepped away from her curious gaze to do exactly as he’d said. His fingers itched to go back and pull out his phone and text Geno, to tell him exactly what had happened to him, but he thought that he could just do that at dinner tonight.

That’s right—they had dinner plans. A real date. Something to look forward to at the end of this day that just felt like it was never going to end.

He finished his final rounds, stopping just once to help one of his regulars on the bike before heading back to get changed.

The first thing he did was check his phone to see if he’d gotten any texts while he was working, and found that there were two texts waiting for him, both from Geno. The first was a warning to keep a look out for Paul because James had told him about their indiscretion (a text he wished he’d read earlier), and the second was an apology that he was going to have to reschedule their date for the following evening because he was taking James out for a guys night or something like that.

He felt disappointed as he slowly pulled his clothes back on, pocketing his wallet and then his phone after sending off a text to tell Geno that it was all right.

It would be all right. Geno had had to cancel because he was doing exactly what Sidney had requested of him. Because he was working at getting James to forgive him, and maybe Sidney, too. Not because he didn’t want to go out on a date with Sidney.

Or at least that was what Sidney was working at convincing himself of, and for some reason it was taking a little bit more effort after the conversation with Paul.


	18. Chapter Eighteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was the hardest one to write, for sure.

Sidney sat alone in the break room at the gym, staring at his phone the next day, waiting for any sign from Geno that they were still on for their date that night. The other man had been mysteriously quiet, and it was making him feel somewhat uneasy. He had no idea what was going on or what had happened with James or why Geno was suddenly being so quiet with him.

What if he’d suddenly decided that he didn’t have feelings for Sidney after all? It had been a little while since they’d been with each other physically, so what if without that…. Geno realized that he wasn’t interested in pursuing a relationship with Sidney after all. That was sort of what he’d expected to happen with anyone if they happened to try to have a relationship with a client of theirs. It was one of many reasons that he’d always sworn that he would never cross that line.

But there he was, eating a turkey sandwich and staring at his phone pitifully. He hated this person that he’d become. He just wished that Geno would tell him what was going on.

As if on cue (or maybe his phone was psychic or something, Sidney wasn’t completely ruling anything out), the chime went off for a text message, and his hand darted out to grab for it, sliding his finger along the display, relieved to see that the text was from Geno.

**dinner tonite?**

Sidney breathed a heavy breath and texted back quickly without even thinking.

**yes!**

There wasn’t even a full minute before his phone was chiming again and he grinned a little.

**pick u up at 6 see u then**

Sidney put his phone down and finished off his sandwich feeling better than he had since before he’d seen Paul the day before. Even having to put up with his co-workers comments about the bruise on his face wasn’t enough to get the slight grin off his face for the rest of the day.

One of his co-workers glanced over at him from where he was helping a regular set up a mat, and shook his head at Sidney.

“What on Earth do you have to smile about? Have you seen yourself in the mirror?”

Sidney just shook his head and grabbed for one of the larger workout balls, handing it to the woman.

“It’s not that bad. You’re all making a big deal out of nothing because it was Paul Martin.”

His co-worker shook his head and turned back to his own client with a bit of a shrug.

“If you say so. I still say you’re in way too good of a mood for your own good.”

Sidney just grinned a little to himself and began going through a few basic warm up exercises for his client, her grin matching the one on his face. It seemed to make the members he was working with a lot more pleasant when he smiled at them. So really, his good mood was everyone else’s good mood. 

He didn’t know what his co-workers were on about.

By the time he was walking through his front door, he wasted no time heading up to the shower. He only had about a half hour before Geno would be there to pick him up, his time frame was short so he needed to make the most of it.

He took a quick shower, just washing his hair and scrubbing his body of the sweat he’d built up over the day, before toweling himself off and striding naked out to his bedroom to search for something appropriate to wear.

This time there would be no awkward sweaters. He’d be dressed in his best. He didn’t know where they were going for dinner, but he figured that as long as he dressed business casual, he’d be safe.

He chose his nicest button down shirt and a good pair of business slacks and spent a few minutes in front of the mirror trying to get his hair to do what he wanted before the doorbell was ringing.

Glancing towards the clock, he noted that Geno was just a little early. Of course, the other man would have remembered that Sidney preferred promptness over everything else.

He headed out for the front door, pulling open and ignoring the chill of the cool air as it rushed through the entranceway, and he grinned up at Geno who looked just a little ill at ease standing there.

That probably wasn’t the best sign for the beginning of their date. Sidney’s smile faltered a little.

Geno reached out, fingers brushing lightly against his jaw where the skin was still tender from Paul’s punch, his brows furrowing together.

“What happened?”

Sidney smiled a little self-deprecatingly. “Paul. I didn’t check my text messages early enough, so I wasn’t ready for him by the time he came in to defend James’ honour. He’s got a better swing than you’d think.”

Geno slowly pulled his hand back, still frowning a little.

“He hit you?”

Sidney shrugged a little and stepped back just a bit. 

“It’s fine, we got it all worked out. Did you want to come in?”

Geno just shook his head, grinning a little down at Sidney. “No, it’s all right. Are you ready?”

Sidney nodded, reaching for his jacket. “Yes, of course. I wasn’t sure where we were going—“ 

Geno grinned a little easier at that, gesturing for Sidney to follow him through the shoveled path towards the still running car.

“There’s a nice Russian place, good Russian food. You like Russian food?”

Sidney flushed a little. “I’ve never had Russian food, I don’t think.”

He usually ordered the same couple of things whenever he went to a restaurant. He was big into his routine, but if Geno really wanted him to try some Russian food… he guessed that it couldn’t be that hard to try something a little new just for one night.

“You’ll love it. It’s the best. Russian is always the best.”

Sidney nodded and slid into the passenger seat of Geno’s car, pulling his seatbelt on and leaning back a little to get comfortable.

“So, how did you find this place?”

Geno put the car into reverse and pulled out of Sidney’s driveway before they began driving. The ride was mostly silent, and though Sidney felt a little bit awkward, it still felt a little unlike any of their previous time together. This time he was aware that Geno had feelings for him, too, and that meant something. That meant that at the end of the night if they fell into bed together, it would be because they both wanted to and not because one of them was paying the other.

Actually, the idea of that made him feel a little anxious and nauseated and so he was going to try not to think about that unless it was happening. He didn’t know why, but for some reason the idea of it just didn’t sit right in his mind. HE almost couldn’t really comprehend falling into bed with someone who wasn’t paying him, even if it was Geno. He’d have to get over it obviously; it was just something new, something different. It wasn’t going to be hard, just… new. 

By the time they got to the restaurant, Sidney had gotten himself a little worked up in his own mind, and was trying to focus on breathing evenly to keep himself calm. There was no need to freak out over something that might not even happen that night. It might not happen until much further in the future. It wasn’t like they hadn’t had sex before. They’d even had sex once without the exchange of money—not that Sidney had known it at the time. So maybe it didn’t really count.

Geno was parking the car and opening the door for Sidney before Sidney even knew what was happening, and he blinked up at the other man.

“You okay, Sid?”

Sidney nodded, swallowing hard.

“Sorry, just kinda got lost in thought for a second. This place looks nice.”

It looked a little like a ma and pop place, but he didn’t mind that. He might look a little over dressed for it, but it looked like Geno had dressed much the same as he had, so he wouldn’t be the only one. That was good.

They walked into the restaurant, and it was actually much nicer on the inside than it had looked on the outside, and maybe Sid wasn’t going to be overdressed after all. He smiled a little at the hostess as she offered the both of them a smile, and Geno spoke to her in rapid fire Russian, and she nodded, replying to him before they were being seated at a nice two person table away in a private corner of the restaurant.

“This is nice,” he said, glancing around. 

It was nice, too. It reminded him just a little of how James had taken him out, but Geno didn’t need to know that.

Geno nodded and unfolded his napkin onto his lap, reaching out for his own glass of water, taking a long sip of it. Sidney mirrored him.

“So…” Sidney began, realizing that they had been a little too quiet for too long. He didn’t really know what was going on between the two of them. He’d kind of expected that the chemistry that they’d built up together would just flow into their date, but he felt like Geno was kind of holding back. It put him a little on edge. “What’s good here?”

Geno gave him a tight sort of smile. “I’ll order for you.”

Sidney blinked a little in surprise and bit down on his bottom lip. He hated it when people ordered his food for him, but when he glanced down at the menu he realized that he didn’t really understand what most of the dishes were, and he felt like it might be disrespectful to ask if they would just plate him some chicken and a salad.

“All right. Just make it something good.”

Geno nodded, making a bit of a face at him. “Everything is good.”

Sidney smiled a little at that, nodding. He’d just have to trust Geno in that.

Their waitress did come to them then, and Geno began speaking to her and Sidney just leaned back in his chair and let the sound of it wash over him. Geno sounded so much more confident speaking in his native tongue. It sounded… well, it sounded really good, actually. He liked it.

Of course, Sidney had no idea what he was saying or what he was ordering for him, for all Sidney knew, it could be something horribly fattening that he would have to spend all day tomorrow trying to work off, but he figured that it would be worth it. Just for one night.

Once their waitress had left them alone again, Sidney toyed a little with the silverware on the table, glancing up at Geno as the silence lingered between them again.

“So…” he began. “How was James last night? You said you were taking him out?”

Geno looked a little uncomfortable at the mention of the other man’s name, which Sidney found to be a little strange, but he swallowed hard around the worry.

“Nealsy was okay. Still a little angry with me, but I think he will get over it pretty soon. At least with me.”

Sidney frowned a little bit.

“What do you mean with you?”

Geno shrugged a little. “He has to forgive me, we’re team. Family. We have to be okay and play together and be okay with each other or the whole team will suffer, so he’ll forgive me real soon. Almost forgave me last night, I think. By the end of the night I had him real drunk and he said he loved me like a brother, just didn’t understand why I didn’t tell him that I had feelings for you.”

Sidney nodded slowly.

“But with you—he doesn’t have a reason to forgive you yet. It will take longer, if he ever decides to forgive you. He thought you had feelings for him the same way he had feelings for you. He thinks you led him on and then changed your mind at the last minute. He doesn’t hate you, still thinks you’re a good person and one day maybe—he’s just still very hurt.”

Glancing down at the silverware, Sidney frowned. “I didn’t—That’s not what I meant to do. I really didn’t mean to do that.”

Geno shook his head a little. “I know that. I know you tried to feel for him.”

He nodded, and he itched to reach across the table and take Geno’s hands in his own, but he had to keep in mind just how much of a public figure the other man was.

“But Nealsy… he was really hurt. He thinks you betrayed him and used him to get to me.”

Sidney’s gaze shot up and his mouth opened in surprise as he shook his head.

“Of course I didn’t do that!”

A few of the people from a couple of tables over glanced in their direction and Sidney hadn’t realized that he’d been so loud that even their private table wasn’t far enough away to keep them from being heard.

Geno shook his head and shushed him a little.

“I know that, I told him that too, but he didn’t really believe me. Said that it was real hard for him to see us together like that in the washroom. Said he couldn’t get it out of his head.”

Sidney bowed his head again, guilt gnawing at him. He’d made a real mess of things.

“I didn’t mean for things to get so messy.”

Geno just shook his head as their food arrived at the table and Sidney looked it over. Nothing looked particularly familiar, but Geno was portioning out a small plate for him.

“You should enjoy some of this before we talk any more about Nealsy. Don’t want to ruin your appetite when there’s delicious Russian food.”

Sidney felt his stomach drop a little. There was more?

“Well now I’ll just be thinking about it anyways. You might as well continue.”

Geno took a bite of his food, chewing thoughtfully, but not meeting his gaze.

“He asked me not to see you.”

Sidney dropped his fork. It was obvious that Geno hadn’t agreed to that, because they were there right now, eating together and having a date. Geno wouldn’t have agreed to something that stupid.

“At least not until he was okay with the idea of us being together.”

Sidney shook his head slowly.

“Of course we can’t do that, that’s stupid.”

Geno looked guilty, though, and Sidney frowned, his stomach dropping impossibly lower. No, there was no way that Geno had agreed to such a stupid thing. There was no way.

“Geno, there is no way you agreed to that, right? I mean, we’re out right now so you can’t have said yes.”

Geno put his fork down. “Should have just enjoyed some of your food, Sid.”

Sidney pushed his plate away from him. “I don’t want any of this food!”

People were shushing him from that table away from them again, and he lowered his voice.

“Are you shitting me right now? Did you really agree to something like that? Why would you—I thought you said you had feelings for me, too?”

His chest felt tight and he had to swallow hard to keep his voice steady.

Geno still had that guilty look on his face.

“I do have feelings for you. But Nealsy is my team and I have to put the team first, Sid. I have to do whatever it takes to keep the team together. It’s just for a little while, just until he’s okay with the idea of us being together. It might just be a couple of days or a week or something.”

He couldn’t even make eye contact with Geno. “And what if he’s never okay with us being together? What then? This was all for nothing?”

Geno was silent for a long moment. “He’ll be okay with it, I’m sure he will be. He wants me to be happy, too. It’ll just take a little time. He doesn’t want to have to see us together when he still feels like we betrayed him, and it’s the least I can do for him.”

It was hard to breathe, and Sidney was blinking hard. He could hardly believe what he was hearing.

“So you’re saying that you can’t date me until you have James Neal’s permission to do it? Do you know how stupid that sounds? So what, you just want me to go back to my life before I met you and wait for you to waltz back into it?”

Geno looked uncomfortable at that, and he shook his head slowly. “No, I don’t want that--- don’t want you to…”

Sidney’s lips turned down and he swallowed hard. “Oh, of course not. You don’t want me to do _everything_ I did before we met, do you? You still want me to be here waiting for you even if James never gives us his blessing, because… why? I don’t understand what’s happening right now, Geno. Why did you even take me out tonight? Is this some kind of punishment? What did I do to you? Or is this James’ idea of a punishment for what we did to him?”

Geno shook his head quickly, his gaze finally meeting Sid’s. 

“No! It’s not a punishment! Just wanted to know what it was like at least once to take you to a nice restaurant and have a nice dinner with you. Wanted to know what I would be waiting for, once Nealsy finally said it was okay.”

Sid shook his head, his hand shaking where it was still reaching out for his fork. “This feels like one big joke to me. First Paul comes in and calls me a whore, telling me that I’m not worth either of you, and now… all of this. This whole thing is the universe’s idea of a joke. I don’t really even know why I let myself---“

He broke off, swallowing hard around the lump in his throat and shaking his head. He didn’t know why he let himself think for even a second that any of this was going to work out for him. Nothing had worked out for him in the past. He’d always thought that he was going to make it as a professional hockey player, and then two swift hits to the head had ended that career for him, and then as soon as he’d found himself really into a rhythm in this business of giving pleasure, he’d had to go and meet Geno who’d thrown everything upside down. 

Now everything was ruined. He knew that it could never be the same again, not now that he knew how different it all could be.

Not now that he knew what it felt like to be cared for by someone.

“Sidney, this isn’t—it’s not what you think. Not saying that this is over, just that we have to wait,” there was a desperate edge to Geno’s voice now as he reached across the table for Sidney’s hand. Sidney pulled it away quickly and folded them both on his lap.

For some reason the words that Paul had said came to the forefront of his mind and he tried to will them away, but all he could do was to think of them. That James deserved to be loved by someone who wanted him more than they wanted anything else.

Didn’t Sidney deserve that? Didn’t Sidney deserve someone who wanted him more than they wanted anything else?

But how could he ask that of Geno? He’d always admired the fact that Geno was willing to put his team above everything else. It was part of what he’d found so appealing about him. And there was some truth to what Geno was saying—he did need to keep his team together, and to some extent, Sidney could understand that, could understand the need for that, but right now all he could think about was how much it hurt not to be a part of what Geno was putting first.

So why was it bothering him so much right now that Geno was making what was obviously the right decision for himself and for his team? Why did it matter so much to Sidney that he wanted to come first?

Why was it so hard to look at him right now?

“I don’t think I can wait for someone else's permission to be with someone,” was what he finally forced himself to say. It was probably the hardest thing he’d ever had to say.

He lifted his gaze to meet Geno’s, squaring his jaw. He wasn’t going to be anyone’s second choice. He wasn’t going to put his whole life on hold to wait for permission that might never come, just because he’d had to audacity to fall for the wrong guy.

It wasn’t fair, and he wasn’t going to let that be his life. Even if he had to say goodbye to the only thing that had actually felt right since the last time he’d laced up his skates.

“Sid—“

Sidney shook his head.

“I can’t. I can’t wait for permission. I can’t do that. I’m sorry.”

Geno nodded, looking down at his plate of food and swallowing hard. That silence fell heavy between them.

“I understand,” Geno finally replied. “I’ll take you home.”

Sidney nodded in return, having completely lost any and all of his appetite. Home was exactly where he wanted to be, and he almost wished that he could have just taken a cab back there, because the idea of driving there with Geno was almost unbearable. 

They stood together, the table covered in basically untouched food before Geno waved towards their waitress. He handed her his credit card as soon as she got to their table, muttering what Sidney assumed were instructions before she rushed off and came back to them in a way that Sidney was sure was much faster than the restaurant usually ran. Once Geno had signed the little slip of paper, they rose together and moved towards the door. The hostess looked a little confused, but Geno just mumbled a little to her before they continued right out the door.

The drive back to Sidney’s house was just as awkward as he’d expected it to be, and neither of them made any attempt to break the silence that continued to linger between them. By the time they pulled up to the front of Sidney’s driveway, he was reaching to unfasten his seatbelt, wanting to get the Hell out of the car and get into his house as quickly as possible. He just wanted the night to be over as fast as possible.

Geno reached out for him, though, and grabbed onto his wrist, holding him in place.

Sid froze, turning to stare at the other man, swallowing hard and waiting.

Geno leaned forward and pressed his lips softly against Sidney’s and they sat like that a moment, their lips moving slowly against each other’s in a kiss that was on just the wrong side of desperate, Sidney’s hands coming up to clutch at Geno’s jacket, holding him in place. He didn’t want to let go, didn’t want this to end, didn’t want to say goodbye.

Not for real this time.

He would probably never see Geno again after this.

That thought had him making an anguished sound into the kiss and trying to deepen it a little before Geno was finally pulling back and they were breathing heavily and just staring at each other, Geno’s hand coming up to brush against Sidney’s face lightly.

“I’m sorry,” was all he said.

Sidney finally collected himself and nodded, pushing open the door and sliding out of the seat.

“Goodbye, Geno.”

He hurried through the pathway and unlocked his front door with shaking hands, stepping inside and closing the door behind him, leaning against it heavily and breathing long, deep, shaking breaths before closing his eyes and letting out a shaking breath.

Everything felt like it was spinning completely out of control, but he guessed now, with everything he’d thought was going to change coming to an end, it was his chance to put his life back into perspective.

The idea of it made him feel hollow.


	19. Chapter Nineteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James is definitely the bigger man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had already written pretty much the whole ending and one extra part for this fic, but now that I'm pretty much finished I realized that there's so much more that I wanted to write. Isn't that the way it always happens?

He kept pretty much to himself for the first few days after the break up (could he really call it a break up? He and Geno had only been on one date), and it seemed like he must have been giving off vibes or something, because his co-workers all gave him a wide berth. A few of them had seemed as though they had wanted to ask him about his sudden change of attitude, but had changed their minds about it and had decided to just leave him to do his usual routine. Lucky for him and probably lucky for them, too, because he’s not sure how he might have responded to people prodding at him just then.

He just needed to put some distance between where he’d thought his life was going and get his life back on track. He was going to be meeting Mario in a couple of days, too, so maybe that would give him a little bit of perspective, even if the perspective it had given him before hadn’t really been the best. It wasn’t Mario’s fault it had probably just been that Sidney hadn’t given him all of the information. Like just how into Geno he’d been. Or how he’d known just how much it probably wasn’t going to work between him and James. Hadn’t that really been where this whole problem had started? Because he’d known that he was getting himself into a mess but hadn’t made enough of an effort to get out of the way of the huge, messy fallout? 

Or no, the whole problem had started when he’d fallen too hard and too fast for a client. Or when he’d fallen for a client at all. Easily the worst rule to have broken. He would never, ever make that mistake again. He was never going to feel like this again. That was going to be the first rule that he made to himself. He didn’t really need any other rules aside from that one. How hard could it be to follow after having this as his learning experience?

Once he got to work on Friday, he kept his head down and changed into his usual workout gear, taking a quick walk around the gym to see if anyone needed his help, but most of the members seemed to avoid his gaze. It seemed like they could sense how off he still was. They were pretty smart, too, and he guessed that while he was still perfectly competent in his job despite how he felt, he wasn’t the greatest company to have around. Not that he would have whined to any of them.

He opted to work on a little of the behind the desk paperwork with Jennifer when she glanced up at him with wide eyes and cleared her throat. 

“Uh, Sid?”

Sidney sighed a little. He liked her enough, they’d worked together for a couple of years now, but he’d never been one for sharing any of his personal information with the people that he worked with, and he definitely wasn’t in the mood to start any time soon. Especially not today. He just had to work his way through today and then he could have the weekend off without the prying eyes of the rest of his co-workers following his every move. It would be good.

“Look, I know you’re just trying to help, but I’m not—“

“No, I swear I’m not trying to be nosy, but you have a visitor.”

Sidney felt something in his chest tighten and as he turned around he couldn’t help but hope that maybe it was Geno coming to tell him that he’d changed his mind, he didn’t want to wait for permission from James for the two of them to be together after all. 

He couldn’t help but also hope that it was anyone _but_ Geno. He didn’t know how he would be able to deal with the appearance of the other man if he’d shown up at his workplace still so close to their last encounter. 

It didn’t really matter what his opinion on Geno showing up was, because when he turned around, James was striding through the front door, shifting awkwardly from foot to foot and looking anywhere but at Sidney. His first instinct was almost to put his hands up to cover his face because really he thought that there was a pretty solid chance that the other man was going to take a chance to hit him in the face, too, and the bruise had only just finished fading from the last time he’d been hit in the face—he wasn’t looking forward to another one. He managed to keep his hands by his side, though, straightening his shoulders and standing firmly in place. He wasn’t going to shrink back from James.

Sure he’d done something wrong to the other man—he should have broken it off with him as soon as he’d known that it probably wasn’t going to go anywhere, he maybe should have told him that he was a hooker or he shouldn’t have continued to see Geno while they were trying to date, and he definitely shouldn’t have kissed Geno in the washroom at that party, but James was part of the reason that he felt the way he felt right now. He could count them almost even. Well maybe not almost even, but more even than they’d been before.

“James,” he said slowly, glancing around and hoping that there weren’t too many prying eyes. They were probably all staring at him anyways. “Did you come to work out?”

He wondered how he would explain that the other man would probably want another trainer—but then why even come to this gym in the first place? What would be the point? Other than to rub it in Sidney’s face that he couldn’t have Geno after all.

But James didn’t really seem like that kind of guy. He’d always been too nice to Sidney for that to be true.

“No, I didn’t come here for that.” There was a serious look on James’ face, and it looked so unlike the usual easy expression that lived there that Sidney was a little caught off guard. He didn’t really know how to deal with this James. He felt a little uneasy.

“Oh? What did you come here for?”

James crossed his arms, looking a little uncomfortable.

“I came here to talk to you. Obviously.”

Sidney swallowed hard. That didn’t sound good at all. He’d had just about all he could take of people showing up at his work just to talk to him. It was starting to get a little ridiculous. He hoped that his bosses hadn’t started to notice the trend, or if they had, the fact that it was the Penguins doing it would grant him a little leeway. Nobody had said anything to him about the Paul Martin Incident. 

“All right, let’s go somewhere a little more private.”

He had no real desire to be anywhere private with James right then, though. Just a couple of days ago he would have given just about anything to have this chance to make nice with James, to go somewhere private and try to make things up to him, but all he could see when he looked at him right now was the person Geno had chosen over him, and it was a painful reminder. He wondered if that was what James had seen when he looked at Geno and if that’s why this whole situation kept going around in a circle.

James just nodded at him and followed him back to the staff break room. There were a couple of people there, but Sidney cleared his throat when they got there and they looked a little confused but seemed to get the idea and left the room to give them a little privacy. Sidney made a mental note to thank them for it later. He did have some thoughtful co-workers when it came down to it. He wondered if they’d guessed at a little more of what had been going on than he’d given them credit for. He hoped not.

He closed the door behind them and turned to face James who looked extremely uncomfortable to be standing there with Sidney. So they were both on the same page then, that was… good?

“James,” Sidney said slowly. “Why are you here? I’m doing what you wanted, aren’t I? Geno and I aren’t seeing each other anymore.”

James nodded, shifting his weight from side to side. “That’s pretty much why I’m here. G’s miserable now. He comes to practice, goes home, comes to practice—I’m pretty sure he’s not even sleeping. He just looks awful all the time. I think you did that to him.”

Sidney stared at James with his mouth open before his cheeks started to warm angrily.

“ _I_ did that to him? Are you crazy? I wasn’t the one who told him that he couldn’t date me anymore. I’m pretty sure that was you.”

James flushed darkly at that, his arms tightening where they were crossed. “I didn’t say you had to _stop_ , I just asked him to _wait_ a little while until I was cool with it, until I could see you guys together and not feel like I was going to swallow my stomach.”

Sidney was surprised that he didn’t feel the guilt that he’d been feeling lately at that. He was still too swallowed up by his own emotions.

“Yeah, that’s right. You asked Geno to tell me that we had to put our whole relationship on an indefinite hold until you were ready, which could have been _never_ , and I was supposed to be all right with him choosing to say yes to that? Without even having a conversation with me about it first? Who in their right mind says yes to that?”

James shrugged a little at that, still not uncrossing his arms.

“I don’t know, someone who apparently is in love with him?”

Sidney choked a little on his tongue at that, and flushed.

“I never used the word love and—and someone who loved me would never agree to that. Someone who—if they loved me, would choose me over everyone else, don’t you think?”

James didn’t seem to have an answer for that, and Sidney’s hands were balled into fists at his sides. He wished there was something around that he could hit, because there’s an energy building inside of him that is just bursting to get out.

“Isn’t that what Paul came here to tell me that you deserved? Someone who wanted you more than anything else? Someone who loved you and would choose you over everyone else?”

James looked a little surprised at that. “Paulie?”

Sid nodded. “Yeah, came in here hollering about how you deserved to be cared about more than anyone else, how you deserved better than I could give you, and he was right. I couldn’t have given you what you deserved and I should have known better and I’m sorry, and I think you’ve punished me enough now, I don’t know what else you want to do to me, I’m pretty much at the bottom of the barrel right now.”

James shook his head. “When did Paulie visit you?”

“The day after the party. Wanted to make sure I knew what you were going through. I knew. I definitely know now. So what else do you want me to know? You already showed me what it is like to think that you’re with someone who you thought cared about you more than anything else only to have it proven wrong when you’re least expecting it, there’s not too much more you can do to me.”

James looked a little bit thoughtful for a moment before he seemed to come back to himself.

“I didn’t send him here you know.”

Sidney made a frustrated noise and shrugged. “I know. He told me that. He just wanted to make sure you got some justice, I guess.”

James nodded, and turned his head away. “I didn’t come here to punish you anymore, anyways. I don’t think I ever meant to punish you—or maybe I did, I just didn’t realize it. I came here to tell you that you have to take Geno back.”

Sidney straightened a little, his brows furrowing. 

“What are you talking about?”

“I can’t stand seeing him like this. I know I was mad at you guys—and I still don’t think it’s okay what you did, but I kind of get it. You couldn’t help yourself because you fell for him. You couldn’t help that it wasn’t me. I can’t just leave Geno like this, though, and you’re obviously not doing much better. The team is going to start suffering soon if he doesn’t get it together so everything is going to be for nothing, anyways. The only logical answer is for you guys to get back together. I’m fine with it, I swear. Or I will be. Just—if you ever loved him or cared about him at all, if those feelings are still there, you can’t just leave him like this. He’s like a shell of the Geno I used to know. I’m sorry, okay? If you ever had any kind of feelings for me—I don’t know if you did or not, but you’ll forget that I made him make the decision.”

Sidney bit down on his bottom lip.

“Look, Geno’s loyal to a fault. The team is the only family he’s got here, and I asked him to make an impossible decision. For all he knew it could have ruined the whole team if he hadn’t agreed to go along with it, and I’m sure he thought you’d go along with it, too. I thought you would, I told him that, too. I bet he was surprised when you told him no. I know he still cares about you. He stares at his stupid phone when we’re in the locker room and then just leaves. He hardly talks to anyone anymore. It’s pretty obvious who he’s really thinking about. I’m pretty sure that if you wanted to be the most important thing to anyone, you’ve already succeeded.”

Sidney swallowed hard and glanced away. It was hard to picture strong, smiling Geno like that. 

“You better not be lying to me.”

James finally uncrossed his arms, shrugging. “Why would I be lying to you? It wasn’t exactly easy to convince myself to come here, you know.”

Sidney nodded slowly. “I guess that’s true. But look—even if I decided to take him back, how would I get to him? It’s not like he’s showing up on my doorstep anytime soon. Why haven’t you tried to have this conversation with him instead of me?”

James winced a little at that. 

“I did. I told him he had my blessing, go ahead go and get you. Do whatever he wanted with you, I didn’t care anymore, he was free to go and do it all. All he would say was that it was too late; you’d told him that you weren’t interested in waiting until you had my blessing, it was already over. He wouldn’t even budge. Said he would just be hurting you if he tried, and he didn’t want to do that anymore.”

Swallowing hard, Sidney nodded. It wasn’t untrue. If Geno had shown up at his door and told him that they had James’ permission to be together now, he would have taken it very badly. It wouldn’t have been what he wanted to hear from the other man at all.

“He isn’t wrong, that’s not what I would have wanted to hear from him.”

James nodded. “I figured. Just… give it some thought. I’ll leave you his address, and if you decide that you’re willing to give him another chance I can pretty much promise that it’ll be worth it. You won’t regret it and I promise to stay out of your guys’ way.”

It was Sidney’s turn to nod slowly, meeting James’ gaze. He’d missed being around the other man, and the way that he was talking now, his voice lower and a little uneven—he realized that this was probably not the easiest conversation James had ever had.

“Thank you,” he said finally.

James nodded, taking a step towards the door.

“Can I just ask you a question?” James asked his hand hovering just above the doorknob.

Sidney nodded, a little wary. He thought back to Paul and how he’d promised that he wasn’t going to tell James Sidney’s secret. He wondered if Paul had really kept that promise.

“Was there something wrong with me? Or was it just that it was always Geno for you?”

There was a little guilt, then, making its way up past all the well of his own feelings and he sighed a little, shaking his head slowly. He almost wondered if _he _should tell James his secret then, just get it all out into the open and let it air itself out, but he wasn’t really ready for that. Maybe one day if they were ever able to be friends again and he knew that he could trust the other man… but they weren’t there yet, and he didn’t feel like he was in a place where he really wanted _everyone_ to know. Not when he knew what the fallout could be like for Geno, or what they would probably think of him when James already probably thought so little of him.__

__“There wasn’t ever anything wrong with you. You were perfect—that’s why it took me so long to figure out what I wanted. You were the right kind of guy, but it was just—it was always Geno for me. I’m so sorry. It was my fault. There was something wrong with me.”_ _

__James nodded and turned the handle._ _

__“But James,” the other man paused before pulling the door open. “There is someone out there who cares about you more than anyone or anything else. I promise. He’s already out there. Just think about it.”_ _

__James tensed a little, but nodded, not turning away from the door as he stepped through the threshold. “Just fix things with Geno, okay?”_ _

__Sidney nodded even though James couldn’t see him anymore and stood alone in the empty room long after James had left._ _

__Was he really going to do this? Could he give it another shot?_ _


	20. Chapter Twenty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tacked on another chapter because chapter 21 is going to be entirely Nealsy and Paulie and their stuff getting worked out which I'd thought about just putting as a separate ficlet but then decided to leave in as a part of this. So if that's not your jam, feel free to ignore the chapter after this one!

He was jogging on his treadmill that night, thinking over his conversation with James. There was still something about not being Geno’s first choice that left a bad taste in his mouth, but he realized that James was probably at least partially right. Geno was loyal almost to a fault. He loved his team like a family, and the thought of fracturing the whole team dynamic just to make a decision that would make _him_ happy must have been extremely hard for him. He wondered what it must have been like in that locker room with the whole team knowing nothing outside of that Geno had stolen James’ boyfriend, and he frowned a little. He hadn’t really been looking at the big picture; he’d been focused on the smaller more Sidney-focused one. He might have made a mistake in just letting his feelings get the better of him, but it had been hard in just that one moment to think beyond 'It Hurts'.

A part of Sidney had been aware of those problems even as it had been happening at that table over that horrible dinner date, but he’d been a little blinded by his own heartache at it even happened in the first place that he hadn’t been able to think of much else outside of that. He still didn’t think that it was right, exactly, but he could understand a little more of where the man was coming from in that case. If he could just get past the aching in his chest that reminded him that he couldn’t ever be the first place in someone’s life.

Which he thought he probably could. He probably could deal with being someone’s second choice if their first choice had to be hockey. He’d been the kind of guy who had been willing to make that choice for the rest of his life once. The only difference now was that he was on the other side of it. He just had to learn how to adapt. If he could. He probably could.

If James was right and Geno was really having as much trouble coming to terms with all of this as he was, then maybe Sidney ought to give it another shot. Maybe there was a chance that Geno did care for him the way that he’d wanted him to, maybe that was the most important thing. Maybe all that mattered was that Geno had as hard of a time making that decision to choose hockey first as Sidney had accepting the decision. Maybe knowing that it wasn’t an easy decision could be enough. Maybe that was all Sidney needed. He just needed to know that he wasn’t easy to throw away. He just needed to know that Geno cared about him enough that choosing between him and hockey was a difficult decision. It was selfish, and Sidney knew that, but part of him thought that he at least deserved that much.

How selfish could he afford to be? Could he afford to toss aside this person that he felt so strongly for, more than he’d ever felt in his whole life, and just hope that he’d eventually feel that way again—or more likely hope that he’d never feel that way again and just be satisfied going back to the way his life had been before, and trying to ignore the part of his mind that just wouldn’t forget Geno?

It took a lot of talking himself up, but eventually he decided that at the very least what he could do was make the trip over to Geno’s apartment and have a conversation with him. See what was really going on and if there was a chance that they could salvage… any of what they’d started to build. 

He couldn’t decide whether to go right then or to wait until the next day, but he wasn’t sure if the Geno would have practice or if he’d want Sidney intruding on him so close to game time, messing up his routine or anything, and so he swallowed hard and grabbed for his jacket and the piece of paper with Geno’s address on it that James had given him.

He just hoped that James had been right and that Geno would be glad to see him and that it wouldn’t end up a horrible mess. The last thing he needed was for the whole situation to get any worse than it already was.

He punched the address into his GPS and warmed his hands up with his breath a little nervously as he waited for his car to heat up before pulling out of his driveway and listening intently as the mechanical voice directed him all the way to Geno’s house.

By the time he was stopped outside of his house he turned his car off and just sat there in the darkness of the neighbourhood, hoping the no one would look out their windows and wonder what a strange car was doing on their street with an equally strange man in it. He just needed to build up his courage a little before he could really get himself in a position to go inside.

Usually there were things that he could do to get himself ready for something like this. Routines that he could follow that would get him into the right mindset for it, but none of them were coming to mind, and he’d never been in this kind of situation before, so he wasn’t even really sure that he had any routines that would work for it.

Eventually he got a little worried that someone _would_ notice him just sitting in his car, and slid out of the driver’s seat, closing the door quietly, and making his way up the pathway to Geno’s front door. It wasn’t lit, and the house looked a little dark inside, and Sidney began to worry that maybe he wasn’t home or something like that. 

Licking his chapped lips a little nervously, he reached up and knocked heavily on the door, taking a half a step back and tapping his foot lightly. A loud barking was the first thing that he heard and he flinched away from it a little, taking another half step back and away from the door. He didn’t know what he was hoping for. Well, actually, he was mostly hoping that since he’d gotten the balls to actually come and show up at Geno’s door, that the other man would actually be there to answer it. He didn’t know if he’d have it in him to do it a second time.

He was about to turn around and walk away when he saw a light flicker on inside of the house, and his pulse jumped a little as he heard a voice chastising the barking dog—a voice that definitely belonged to Geno and the door was pulled open, Geno bent over holding the dog by the collar as it tried to get past him out the door.

“Won’t bite, very friendly.”

Geno looked like Sidney might have pulled him right out of bed, and the sight of him made Sidney’s mouth go dry and he had to swallow a few times before he felt like he’d be able to speak. It felt good to see him. So good. He’d convinced himself that he might never see the other man again, and it had made him feel _so bad_ , that he’d felt like he’d never be the same again, but now that he was seeing him and he was so close to him again, it was all rushing back.

“Geno,” he breathed.

Geno’s head snapped up from where he’d been holding the large dog back, his hand going slack enough that the dog was able bound past him and was sniffing at Sidney’s hands and legs.

They were just staring at each other for a moment and it was like time was standing still until he realized that there was something slimy and warm making its way all over his hand and he broke eye contact to look down to where the dog was slobbering all over his hand.

“Augh.”

“Sorry, sorry, Jeffrey come here,” Geno said snapping his fingers and reaching for the dog again. 

The dog was surprisingly well mannered and went easily to Geno, head held high. Sidney swallowed hard as he wiped his hands on his jeans with as much dignity ass he could muster.

“Sorry to show up out of the blue. James gave me your address. I didn’t just take it from your paper work or anything.”

He didn’t know why that was so important to say, but it had just come out, so he felt like maybe it was important for Geno to know that he hadn’t just suddenly turned into a stalker or something.

“Nealsy went to see you?”

Sidney nodded, making a bit of a face. “Yeah, earlier today. Thought I needed a bit of a talking to or something. He wanted me to know that we had his blessing.”

Geno looked a little uncomfortable as he hauled his dog further into the house. “Come inside. It’s still cold out there and you look like you’ll catch your death.”

He nodded gratefully as he stepped into the warmth of Geno’s house, sighing a little contentedly as the heat rushed over his exposed face. It smelled like Geno, too, something that he could definitely appreciate.

He followed Geno down the hallway and into the large living room where he took a seat on the first large chair that he saw, and watched as Geno took his own seat on the couch.

“So Nealsy went to tell you that he gave us his permission, but I thought you said you didn’t want to wait for his permission?”

Sidney shook his head slowly. “I didn’t want to wait for his permission. That’s not all he came to tell me. He came to tell me that you were awful, too. That you stopped hanging out with the team except for at practice and that you were pretty much miserable.”

This close to Geno, he could tell that James hadn’t been exaggerating, either. Geno looked exhausted. There were circles under his eyes that matched the same ones Sidney had seen in the mirror when he’d looked this morning. His mouth was still turned down in a bit of a frown, missing the bit of a smile that Sidney was used to seeing on his face. Everything about the way Geno’s shoulders were slumped reminded him of the way that he felt when he woke up in the morning and remembered that he’d ended it with the other man.

“Shouldn’t have bothered you.”

Sidney raised a brow, crossing his arms. “Was he wrong?”

Geno glanced away from him. “No, I guess not. I missed you.”

Sidney felt a little bit of selfish relief at that. It meant that he wasn’t the only one with these feelings that he didn’t entirely understand, then.

“I missed you, too. It’s been awful since you’ve been gone. I guess—I didn’t realize that it would be as hard as it was. I didn’t really think—I know you have to put the team and hockey first. I would have, too, if I was in your situation, but it was just at the time I couldn’t—I never really thought I’d be in the situation we’re in right now, I guess.”

Geno shook his head. “No, Sid, I shouldn’t have ever had to make the choice. Wasn’t really fair for any of us. We should have been honest with Nealsy in the first place and just told him before we did anything, but after that—it was already too late. Should have just told him that we were going to be together and that was that. Didn’t really want to wait for his permission, either.”

Sidney nodded, wiping his hands nervously up and down his thighs. “I still—I just need to know where we would stand—your team, do they know about what happened between the three of us?”

Geno made a bit of a face. “Some know more than others. Nealsy told Paulie and Paulie told some. It happens sometimes, but guys understand. It’ll be okay once Nealsy has someone new and they have something else to focus on.”

Sidney nodded again, looking away. “And if we—if we were together. How would things work, exactly?”

Geno moved to stand from where he’d been sitting on the couch. 

“Would put you first as much as I could, Sid. Wouldn’t let something like this happen again. I promise.”

Sidney wet his lips as he turned his full attention to Geno.

“How can you make a promise like that? There’s no way we can know that something like this wouldn’t happen again.”

Geno just stepped a little closer, fingers twitching at his sides like he was aching to reach out for Sidney.

“I know something like this couldn’t happen twice. Would be like letting myself lose in the finals two years in a row.”

Sidney raised a brow. “Not impossible.”

Geno grinned a lopsided grin at him. “Would be for me.”

He felt something loosen in his chest and stood up from the chair, closing the distance between them.

“I want this to work, there’s just so many things that I’m not sure about.”

Geno reached out and circled his fingers around Sidney’s wrist, holding him lightly. Warmth blossomed through Sidney from the contact. It felt great to have Geno’s hands on him again.

“Like what?”

Sidney swallowed hard, not sure how to admit one of the things he’d been the most hung up on, even when they’d been ready to make this work the first time.

“I’ve never—it’s been a long time since I’ve slept with someone without having them pay me for it. I don’t know if I remember how to do it.”

Geno raised a brow, tugging Sidney just a little closer to him.

“Want me to keep paying you? Don’t know if I can afford to pay you forever, Sid.”

He felt his face heat at that, and shook his head. Geno had used the word forever. “No, I don’t _want_ you to, I’m just saying that I’m not sure how good it’ll be. How good I can be.”

Geno laughed a little and Sidney squirmed a little uncomfortably.

“Can’t imagine you not being good at it, Sid.”

Sidney flushed a little darker and shook his head. “That’s because you’ve always been paying me for it.”

Geno leaned forward and covered Sidney’s protesting lips with his own, kissing him silent. It was an effective way of quieting him, and he reached up to clutch at the other man’s shirt, holding him tightly. By the time they pulled away, Sidney was breathing a little heavier.

“I have an idea,” Geno murmured against his lips, reaching into his pocket. When he pulled his hand back out there was a dollar in it, and he pressed it into Sidney’s hand, closing his fingers over it. “Does this work for you?”

Sidney wanted to say no, because it was so ridiculous, but the feel of the single paper dollar in the palm of his hand settled something that had felt a little out of control inside of him, and he was forced to nod a little reluctantly. He hoped that Geno wouldn’t mock him for it, really, but having even just that dollar made him feel more comfortable in his own skin.

More like himself.

“Okay, then from now on I’ll give you a dollar any time that you want, but Sid—“ Sidney lifted his gaze from the dollar back up to Geno’s face. “Want to be the only one paying you from now on. Can you do that?”

Sidney’s tongue was stuck to the roof of his mouth and his cheeks were still flushed.

“I haven’t seen anyone else for weeks. Most of my clients have already requested new guys. I’m sure Ma—my referral guy can help me get the rest of them reassigned.”

Geno smiled brightly down at him as he brushed his fingers against his cheek and lowered his head to brush their lips together again. Sidney closed his fingers around the dollar and everything inside of him felt settled. He tucked it safely into his pants pocket and promised himself that he would make somewhere safe in his room to store the dollars he collected from Geno so that he could see them and remind himself how ridiculous the whole idea of having his boyfriend (was he really using that word?) pay him for their time together was until the desire was edged away completely. 

Geno’s hand was still cupping his cheek as their kiss turned a little dirtier than it had been before and Sidney could feel the other man’s tongue sliding into his mouth and he made a soft sound into it, his fingers slipping under the shirt he imagined Geno had pulled on to answer the door. He’d rather that Geno wasn’t wearing it at all.

Geno pulled back from the kiss, resting his forehead against Sidney’s. “Don’t have to do this now. Could just sleep and keep waiting, if you don’t want to rush.”

Sidney felt his cheeks flush, but shook his head. He felt like he’d been waiting forever already, the days without Geno had been stretched out and way too long. He wanted a piece of Geno more than he wanted anything else in that moment, and besides—he’d already been paid for it, the dollar still hot in his pocket.

He just grinned up at Geno, his finger sliding all the way under his shirt and taking advantage of all of the hot skin his still-cool hands could get his hands on. Geno shivered under his touch and Sidney grinned up at him.

“Tell me what you want?”

Geno shook his head, his fingers carding through Sidney’s hair.

“Tonight you choose.”

Sidney wanted to argue that Geno had paid him and so it was only fair that he’d choose, but something in his gut told him that that wasn’t what the other man wanted to hear, so he just licked his lips, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth as he thought. He watched Geno watch the movement, eyes darkening and grinned a little at that. It was good to know that he still had that power over him.

“I liked it when I could watch your face when you fucked me,” he finally said, completely honest. That had been one of the best moments they’d had together.

Nodding, Geno leaned forward and kissed Sidney, sucking that lip back into his mouth for a second before pulling away. 

“Liked that, too. Liked that a lot. You have a great face.”

Sidney grinned at him. “I’m glad you think so. Your opinion is very valuable. But I was thinking… I’d really like to ride you tonight. Feel your cock nice and deep inside of me.”

He could feel as much as he could hear Geno’s sharp intake of breath, and his grin widened. He wasn’t shy about sex at all. It was one of the few things that made him feel in control of whatever situation he was in.

“What do you think?”

Geno reached for one of Sidney’s hands and took it, lowering it down to the front of his sleeping pants, so that Sidney could feel the beginnings of the hardening of his cock there. He licked his lips a little and nodded.

“Good, I’ll take that as a yes.”

He almost wanted to get on his knees and take Geno’s cock into his mouth again, to taste it. It had been a while, but there would be time for that still later. For now he just wanted his body to remember what it felt like to be a part of him.

“Your bedroom?”

Geno looked a little reluctant to released Sidney’s hand which had been lightly squeezing at his cock through the loose pants, but he nodded. 

“Of course.”

They separated, but were never very far from each other as Geno reached out and tangled his fingers with Sidney’s holding his hand in an almost oddly sweet movement as he led him up the stairs. It made Sidney’s pulse quicken a little, and something warm stutter inside of him.

They made it to Geno’s bedroom without too much of a fuss, stopping just once outside of the door like they weren’t really sure what to do. Or rather, Sidney wasn’t entirely sure what to do. He’d never been with a client inside of their house before, so this was all still very new to him. He could see, even from the doorway, just how the room echoed Geno’s personality, and it was almost uncomfortable for him for a moment. He almost wanted to ask if there was somewhere like a guest bedroom that they could go, somewhere less imprinted with everything _Geno_ , but he didn’t really want to break the spell that they’d been under up to this point.

He let Geno pull him through the threshold and stepped into the room, feeling a little more at ease when Geno’s arms came up and around him, holding him close as they kissed again, the other man’s lips sliding over his own and then coming to brush along his jaw and down the column of his throat, causing soft gasps to fall from his lips as he reached to tug at Geno’s shirt, wanting to get it off, wanting to get his fingers over more of his skin again. 

Geno seemed to get the point that he was trying to make, because they broke apart for just as long as it took for Geno to pull the t-shirt up and over his head and for Sidney to quickly unbutton his own shirt, folding it as quickly as possible and placing it on the dresser top before turning back to Geno and wrapping his arms around his neck to pull him close and cover his mouth with his own, relishing in the feel of their bare skin pressed together.

Of course their pants would have to go next, but Sidney was pleased with the build of the slow burn moving through his body, and just moving slowly against Geno felt really great. Only a few hours ago, he’d been at his very lowest. He’d thought that he was never going to see the other man again, but here he was, wrapped up in Geno’s arms and pressed tightly to him, and he could feel the hard press of his cock against his thigh as they rocked lightly together, and this was really happening. 

“Sid,” Geno was breathing against his lips, and Sidney pulled back a little, running his fingers down Geno’s chest, nails scraping lightly against his nipples to elicit a soft hiss from the other man. “Pants?”

Sidney grinned and nodded, his hands sliding even lower to cup Geno through his pants before working his hands inside of them to feel the smooth skin of his cock just once, enjoying the way Geno jerked a little under his fingers and twisted a bit before he reached down and shoved his pants down his legs, kicking them aside, clearly thinking that Sidney was taking too long.

“You now.”

Sidney just laughed a little and nodded, his whole body feeling lighter than he’d felt in days. He reached down and unfastened his belt before unzipping his pants and pushing them down his legs. He moved to fold them and put them with his shirt, but Geno seemed to have lost patience for that, because he was reaching for Sidney and tugging his boxers down, too, so that he could kick them aside. He dropped his pants and sighed a little at the other man, smile still lingering on his lips.

“Okay, okay, I get it. You’re eager.”

Geno’s lips found to curve of his jaw again as he pulled Sidney closer.

“Aren’t you? Been a while, Sid.”

Sidney nodded a little acquiescingly and tilted his head to the side to let the other man have all the room he wanted to explore his throat.

“No marking.”

Geno pulled back, raising a brow. “Still? Rules don’t change even now?”

Sidney swallowed hard and shook his head. “Not yet. Don’t really want to explain it to the guys at work. Maybe—if you really have to, just do it somewhere that I can cover it up.”

Geno grinned a wide grin at that, and nodded.

“Can do that.”

Sidney nodded and reached down as Geno made his way kissing down Sidney’s throat and collarbone to card his fingers through his hair.

“We should move to the bed,” he managed to breathe out. His legs were feeling a little unsteady.

Nodding up at him, Geno was still grinning. Cocky for a guy whose cock was already half hard and resting against his thigh right where Sidney could see it and once they were on the bed, he was definitely going to pay it the attention it deserved.

There was a slightly awkward moment as they both climbed onto the bed where Sidney realized that he hadn’t really come to Geno’s house with the supplies that he usually had in his pockets for appointments, and he froze with his hand halfway to the other man’s cock, just reaching out for him like that. It was a little comical.

“Oh shit, Geno, do you have condoms and lube?”

Geno just raised a brow at him and twisted the upper part of his body to reach into his bedside drawer, pulling out a bottle of lube and a strip of condoms. 

“Of course, Sid.”

Sidney felt relieved, glad that they weren’t going to have to stop what they were doing to run out in the middle of the night for supplies. There wasn’t much worse that could happen to them than that, but with the kind of luck that they had, it wasn’t impossible that something like that would happen to them.

Geno tossed the supplies onto the bed beside where Sidney was kneeling and grinned up at him. “Might need all of it.”

Raising a brow, Sidney reached for the bottle of lube, popping the top and spreading a little over his hand. “A little enthusiastic, are you?”

Geno shrugged and crawled a little closer to Sidney who reached out for him again, wrapping the lubricated hand around his cock and stroking him slowly. Geno’s eyes fluttered closed for a moment and Sidney knee-walked a little closer to him to get a better grip on his cock, twisting his wrist the way he’d come to learn that Geno liked as he stroked him slowly up and down. He just wanted to make him hard, not make him come. That was the goal of this, and it was working. The other man had a truly stupid look on his face that Sidney found extremely hot, and so he leaned forward and pressed their mouths together, kissing him a little sloppily on the mouth as he jerked him.

“Feels good, Sid, but want to touch you, too.”

Sidney was used to his clients wanting to touch him, but he had to keep reminding himself that this was different. Geno wasn’t just like any of his other clients. Geno had feelings for him and they were going to be _together_ now. Eventually, Geno wasn’t even going to pay him for this, and that was a good thing. He nodded a little, forcing a grin as he tightened his grip just a little around Geno’s cock.

“So touch me.”

Geno nodded and wrapped his fingers around Sidney’s cock, stroking him slowly. It was too dry, but he wasn’t worried about it. He liked it when it was just on the edge of being too much, and he glanced down to where he could see their hands moving over each other’s cocks, watching intently as his own hardened as well. That was the point.

They stayed like that for a couple of minutes, just the sounds of Sidney’s hand slipping up and down Geno’s cock and their breaths mingling in the otherwise silent room before Sidney pulled his hand back and batted Geno’s hand away from his own cock.

“Okay, okay, don’t want to get too close yet. I still want you in me tonight.”

Geno groaned a little at that, but nodded as they pulled apart and Sidney reached for the lube again.

“Let me,” Geno said, holding his hand out.

Sidney licked his lips and handed the lube over to Geno, leaning back against the pillows and spreading his legs open wide. 

Geno was careful as he spread some lube over his fingers and leaned forward, first pressing his lips against Sidney’s before pressing a finger inside of him. Sidney bit his lip to refrain from reminding him that he really didn’t need to be so careful, remembering that Geno wasn’t that fond of being reminded that Sidney was a hooker.

He just opened his legs a little wider and pressed down against the pressure of the finger, eagerly waiting for the stretch of a second finger. 

“Feels good?”

Sidney nodded. It didn’t not feel good. It just didn’t feel like much. He guessed that it felt better than it would have if it had been anyone else’s finger other than Geno’s buried inside of him.

“You can do a little more—another finger. I want you inside of me soon.”

Geno licked his lips and nodded in response, pulling his finger out and carefully replacing it with two. Sidney let out a soft sound of appreciation as he pressed back against them. That was what he’d been waiting for. The slight stretch of two fingers and the feel of Geno’s fingers _so close_ to his sweet spot. 

“That’s good, Geno, so good. Just a little deeper.”

Geno didn’t seem to mind the extra advice, because he just did exactly what Sidney suggested and pressed his fingers a little deeper inside of him, pushing forward. Sidney let out a soft yelp, arching into the feel of it, reaching down to wrap his fingers around the base of his cock, making sure that he wasn’t going to have an embarrassing moment where he came too soon. It felt great, really great. He didn’t usually let himself go with his clients, but like he’d been reminding himself—Geno was different.

“More of that please,” he breathed, rotating his hips so that he was riding the fingers pressed inside of him.

Geno let out a soft sound of assent, moving his fingers so that he was thrusting them into him at that angle, causing Sidney to gasp out every time. It felt great. He couldn’t recall a single time that he’d had a client make him feel like this, it was usually his own (fairly skilled) fingers that went to work making him feel this way.

“Can’t wait to be inside of you, Sid,” Geno was breathing against the shell of his ear, and Sidney turned his head so that they were kissing, and it was barely more than them just breathing into each other’s mouths, but it was still unbearably good, and it just added to the sensations. He squeezed the base of his cock a little tighter.

“Then do it. It’s enough, I’m—it’s enough. I’m ready. I swear I’m ready.”

Geno eyed him a little uncertain, but he was pulling his fingers out of Sidney, wiping them on the comforter before he reached out to tear a condom off the strip and tugged it open, pulling it over his cock.

“You sure?”

Sidney nodded, shifting back so that he was on his knees again. “I’m sure. Get comfortable.” 

Geno crawled over to the top of the bed and sat so that he was sitting with his legs spread just a little. Sidney clambered over to him and stretched one leg over each of Geno’s his hand reaching behind and between them to wrap around Geno’s cock, holding it still as he positioned himself over top of him and pressed down slowly, carefully taking the other man inside of himself.

The stretch was great. Better than great, really, and Sidney let his head fall forward onto Geno’s shoulder as he groaned loudly, pressing down a little faster as he shifted his hips to take more of him. It had been a long time since he’d been fucked this way, but it had always been one of his favourites. He loved being filled as deeply as possible. Of course he usually preferred to have his back to his clients but this way was better—this way he could see Geno’s face, and that was part of what made arousal coil tight and hot in his belly.

Geno’s arms came around him to hold them tightly together and Sidney kept pressing down until all of Geno’s cock was buried inside of him and he could hardly breathe around it. He shifted his hips a little to really get the feel for it and grinned against Geno’s shoulder.

“Is great, Sid,” Geno murmured, lips brushing against the side of Sidney’s head. “Think you can move?”

Sidney nodded, lifting his head so that he could meet Geno’s gaze before shifting his hips up a little and beginning a slow, easy rhythm that was easy to maintain. It meant that he was never without most of Geno’s cock.

Geno reached between them and wrapped his fingers loosely around Sidney’s cock, giving it a light pull. It was definitely still very interested in the goings on, and Sidney thrust up into the circle of Geno’s fingers as he sank back down onto Geno’s cock, moving a little faster, until he was bouncing a little on Geno’s cock, trying to get steady thrusts. He shifted a little until he was getting just the right position he wanted and let himself go just a little, arching his back and crying out softly.

It was easy to see how people could give into something like that, giving themselves over completely to the pleasure they could find with another person without having to obsess over that other person’s pleasure over finding their own, and Sidney knew that even though he was quickly reaching the peak of his own pleasure, Geno would come too, regardless of what he did. He could hear it in his ragged breathing and could tell in the stuttering words of encouragement that the other man was giving him that he probably would care if Sidney came before him, anyways. At least Sidney assumed they were words of encouragement. It wasn’t English, but it sounded like it was encouraging. He took it that way, and tightened around the thickness of Geno’s cock as he pressed closer to the other man and pressed hard down once more so that the full length of Geno’s cock pressed against his prostate and he was coming in thick, long, messy strips against their chests. 

He was shaking as Geno held him close and continued thrusting into him in quick, unsteady thrusts, making him shake in overstimulated pleasure as he continued riding the wave of his own orgasm, pulling his head back a little so that his slightly blurred vision could focus on the other man’s face as he tilted his head back and squeezed Sidney tight with his free hand and came hard.

Sidney could feel the pulse of his cock inside of him, and almost wished for a moment that he could feel him coming inside of him, even if it would be impractical at this stage of their relationship. And messy. Sidney couldn’t fathom how messy and probably uncomfortable it would actually be.

Geno fell back against the headboard, and Sidney leaned forward against his chest, legs curled up a little so that they wouldn’t cramp. It still felt good, comfortable in a way that it wouldn’t be very soon to have the other man inside of him.

“Wow, Sid. Wow.”

Sidney grinned a little and lowered his head to kiss Geno slowly on the mouth. 

“Sleep here with me?”

Sidney swallowed hard and kissed him again to give himself a moment before he had to answer. He’d never spent the night outside of his own bed before and the whole idea of it was daunting. But Geno had given into one of the strangest things that he could have possibly done by giving him that dollar earlier, and Sidney felt like he might owe him a little. Like maybe he ought to give it a chance. What could it hurt, really? If he didn’t like it, they just wouldn’t do it again.

“Yeah, all right. I didn’t bring anything to sleep in, though.”

Geno grinned a little. “That was my plan all along. Don’t plan on doing much sleeping.”

Sidney stretched a little, moving to sit up so that Geno’s softening cock could slide out of him easily. He felt strangely empty, but didn’t comment on that.

“Of course not. You’re shameless.”

Geno just shrugged and leaned over to kiss him. Sidney was starting to get used to all of this kissing.

“Never said I wasn’t.”

He just shook his head and glanced down at the mess he’d made all over both of them. He didn’t even have it in himself to be embarrassed about it.

“Can we at least wash this mess off before round two?”

Geno nodded, reaching to pull the condom off, tying it and sliding off the bed to toss it in the bin before gesturing Sidney to follow him. “Come on. When was the last time you had shower sex?”

Sidney didn’t think that Geno actually wanted an answer to that question, so he just grinned at him and followed him to the shower.

The night was definitely turning out to be better than he’d thought. He was lucky that the next day was a day off, because he didn’t think he would have been in any shape to work.


	21. Chapter Twenty-One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James and Paulie work their shit out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is entirely James and Paulie and nothing else, so if you're not into that you don't need to read this chapter to have it have anything to do with anything else in the story. I just really wanted James to have his happy ending, and this was it. This also ended up being the longest chapter to date and holy have I ever written a lot of smut for this fic, Batman.
> 
> Just one chapter to go!

James had been pacing his house all day thinking over the things that Sid had said to him. Was it really possible that someone out there already had those kinds of feelings for him? The kind of do or die feelings for him that he’d thought he’d had for Sid? It was hard to imagine right then that _anyone_ could have any kinds of feelings for him after what had happened with Sid, it just seemed like too much of a letdown. He’d been ready to think it was time to just go about his business without looking for someone for a while. Maybe that was what he really needed. A break from it all. 

The big news, though, had been the way Sid had insinuated that he’d already known the person who felt that way about him. How he’d hinted and hinted that it had been Paul of all people. _His_ Paulie. But how could that be possible? He and Paul had been practically inseparable since he’d been traded from Dallas, but Paul had never said a single thing to him about any feelings or anything like that. He’d thought if there was really something going on like Sid thought—wouldn’t Paul have said something to him by now? How could he have hidden something like that for so long? James could never have kept a secret like that for so long.

But they _did_ spend a whole lot of time together. Nobody else on the team was willing to put up with him as much as Paul was. Nobody else laughed so easily at the jokes that James knew weren’t really that funny, nobody else would always have an extra plate of breakfast ready for him just because (especially on the mornings after a big loss or after James had made something of a mess of himself on the ice). Nobody was there the same way for him when he’d been in a scoring slump and the media had been all over his ass, and everyone had thought that the trade for him had been one of the worst that the Penguins could have done; and definitely nobody else that he could think of would have gone to where his ex-boyfriend worked to yell at him about how he didn’t deserve someone as good as James and how James deserved someone better—someone more like Paul, the more James thought about it.

Sid had definitely been talking about Paul.

He sat heavily on his couch, hands rubbing up and down his thighs as he rocked back and forth, trying to make some sense out of it all. Why would Paul be interested in him, though? Someone like Paul—he could have his pick of anyone out there that he wanted. He didn’t have to settle for someone like James. Why was James wasting so much time on wondering why when he should just be wondering if they could actually make something like this happen between them.

There had to be something to the way he felt every time something happened to him, whether it was good or bad, and the only person he wanted to tell or talk to about it was Paul. There had to be something to that. There had to be. There had to be something to the fact that he felt the need to have Paul be the first person he saw most mornings, and the last person he saw before he went to sleep. There had to be something with the fact that whenever he was out, it didn’t matter where or who he was with, he always gravitated towards Paul, always felt the most comfortable whenever he was with the other man.

They’d been friends for so long, could trying something—even just to see if they could have that spark he figured must be important to taking the next step in a relationship—really be worth the risk to their friendship? He snorted into the darkness at himself. He and Paul were way too good of friends to let something like a botched kiss or something actually come between them. He imagined that it would take more than a kiss to break up their friendship. He hoped that Paul felt the same way as he did where that was concerned.

He really hoped that he wasn’t wrong about all of this. That Sid hadn’t been wrong when he’d told him in the first place, because now that he was thinking about it… well, he couldn’t get it out of his head. He could easily bring to mind the times that he’d seen Paul getting changed back at the rink or how many times he’d answered the door without his shirt on first thing in the morning. Being attracted to him was clearly not going to be a problem. He’d always known, somewhere in the back of his mind, that Paul was an attractive man. But it was always the look and don’t touch mentality that came with being the friend of an attractive man.

He’d always just done his best not to think about it too much. You know, buddies.

He was certainly thinking about it now. It was like thinking about any chance of having a chance with Paul had broken a dam and now all he could think about was all of those things he’d purposely not thought about before. 

It was the middle of the night by the time he’d convinced himself that he just had to go for it. He had to have the balls to do it, because if Paul had really had feelings for him for a while and hadn’t said anything then it obviously couldn’t be on his shoulders (and James flinched a little to think about the times he’d confided in his feelings about Sidney or any of those guys before him to Paul, and wished he hadn’t always been so easy to talk to) and maybe it was just James’ turn to play catch up. It was the least he could do. He couldn’t think that maybe he’d been _hurting_ Paul before. He had a lot to make up for, if that were the case. Even if he didn’t have to, he wanted to.

He couldn’t imagine a second of his life without Paul there by his side, laughing at his jokes or making awful ones of his own, and if this was their chance to see if it could really be more than just buddies, then who were they to stand in the way of that? He was eager to know now, to find out what could be there, because the more he thought about it, the less it felt like buddies and the more it felt like… _more_. He wondered if that was how Paul always felt.

He slid his feet into his shoes and hurried out the door, blinking in surprise at the near-complete darkness of the street as he carefully made his way across it. He didn’t want to injure himself and then have to explain that to coach or Shero. That was the last thing he needed to do.

He probably should have tossed a coat on, too, he thought as he shivered a little in the cold wind and made his way across the street, but there wasn’t really any chance that he was going to turn around now and head back to get one. Not when he’d finally worked his way up to the idea of going across the street to meet Paul now.

The snow crunched a little loudly under his feet and he felt the almost inexplicable urge to shush it as he made his way to Paul’s front door, rubbing his hands against his thighs nervously. He was really going to do this. It was time to sack up.

He knocked on the door, stepping back a little and rocking back on his heels as he waited for Paul to answer the door. No answer came, though. He frowned a little, glancing at his watch. It _was_ 4am. Maybe the other man was just sleeping? He had two options. He could just wait a couple of hours until Paul woke up and they could talk it over breakfast or something like that, or—He stepped forward and rang the doorbell three times in succession.

A light flickered on and he could hear footsteps stumbling down the stairs. Easily recognizable as Paul’s. He grinned a little to himself, anxiety bubbling just a little inside of him. He hadn’t decided how he was going to greet Paul just yet. How did you start a conversation like the one he wanted to have with him?

The door was pulled open, and Paul stood there looking half asleep, half his hair sticking up where it had obviously been pressed into the pillow, the creases of the pillow still indented into his cheek and his eyes half lidded. He’d obviously tugged on a shirt for James’ benefit, but James wished that he hadn’t bothered. He hadn’t bothered with pants, though, he was just standing there in that loose, worn Penguins t-shirt and his boxers.

He looked really fucking good.

Maybe it was because James had spent all day thinking about him, but his mouth was suddenly very, very dry.

“Nealsy? James? What are you doing here? Are you okay? You look—“

James’ eyes were wide and a probably a little wild, but there was nothing he could do about that. He hadn’t slept all day, and he’d had a lot of coffee.

Anything that he’d been planning to say completely left his mind, and he stepped forward, reaching out and grabbed Paul by his shirt, tugging on it and tilting his head down just a little to close the small gap between them so that he could catch Paul’s lips in his own. He kissed him once on the lips, barely a brush of their lips together before parting just enough so that he could breathe a slight explanation between them.

“Shut up, I gotta try something and if I don’t do it now, I might chicken out.”

Paul just made a sound against his lips and James took that to mean that it was all right as he returned the pressure of their lips, kissing him properly this time. He thought that this might be an effective way of silencing the other man if he was ever going off on a tangent or something, and the thought made him grin a little into the kiss, his lips curving up just a little around the edges as he slid his tongue lightly against the seam of Paul’s lips, pleased when they parted under the touch and Paul began responding to his kiss.

As soon as Paul was on board with the kissing, the whole effect of the kiss was flipped upside down on James. It went from this slow burn that had settled in the pit of his stomach to a fire that spread out over the entire length of his body and he thought he might not even be enough to contain it. A soft sound was lingering between them, and James wasn’t even sure which one of them had made it, but it didn’t even matter, he felt hot arousal coil in his belly at the sound of it anyways, the thought that it _might_ have come from Paul being more than enough to elicit a response from him. He held a little tighter to the man’s shirt, holding him tightly against him.

James was no scientist, but as far as experiments went, he was going to go ahead and call this one a success. There was definitely a spark of something between them. It didn’t even matter that he was still shivering a little in the cold. He couldn’t even feel it.

Unfortunately, though, Paul was pressed close enough to him that he could feel the shiver that had worked its way through James (and it’s not entirely the fault of the cold, James didn’t think) and that seemed to snap him back to attention, and he pushed a hand against James’ chest, forcing him a little away.

“James, what in the Hell are you doing? Anyone could have seen you.”

James glanced up and down the street. All of the houses were completely dark. “Pretty sure we’re safe, Paulie.”

Paul just reached out and grabbed him by the shirt, yanking him in the house and closing the door heavily behind them. It was barely closed behind them before Paul’s mouth was back on his and they were kissing again, this time a little dirtier than before, Paul’s teeth dragging along James’ bottom lip before his tongue slid into his mouth, against his tongue, and James was breathing heavily through his nose and just holding onto the other man trying to keep his balance against the door.

“We really need to talk,” Paul managed to breathe between kisses.

James didn’t really see the point of that. He figured that all of the kissing was proving his point just fine and would do them both better than any kind of talking would.

“Sure, yeah,” he agreed anyways. He didn’t want to say anything that might stop all the kissing.

Paul went to pull away from him, but James slid his hands up the side of Paul’s neck trying to keep him still, not wanting to give up the moment just yet.

It was impossible to keep one moment for too long, though, because eventually they had to keep going, and Paul’s hands came up to grab hold of James’ removing them from where they’d been holding him.

The kiss had been so good. It had been so different from kissing Sid. Kissing Sid had felt like a burst of fireworks, but kissing Paul had felt like a forest fire burning its way through his entire body. He hadn’t felt a kiss like that since he’d stolen his first kiss back in Junior. He’d been worried that it wouldn’t measure up, but it had done so much more, and he wasn’t really sure what to do with himself now. He hadn’t really thought past knowing whether or not there was a spark.

Maybe a part of him hadn’t thought that there would be one.

Even though Paul had pulled his mouth free of James’, he was still rubbing their unshaven cheeks together lightly, and it felt a little strange, but didn’t stop the warmth that was still coursing through him. He made a soft sound. He really wanted to get back to the kissing, but finally Paul was really, for real this time, pulling away from him. At least he looked reluctant to be doing so.

“Okay.” Paul was breathing a little unevenly as he fixed James with a stare, running fingers through his tangled hair. “What the Hell is going on?”

As he licked his lips, James offered Paul a small grin and was absolutely sure he was still tasting the other man in his mouth. Or his morning breath. Whatever. He didn’t mind.

“I saw Sidney today.”

Paul frowned at that and pulled further away from James, reaching up to wipe at his mouth a little shakily. “Oh my—are you serious? That’s what this is about?”

Blinking a little in confusion, James took a minute to realize what Paul meant by that before quickly shaking his head. “No, jeez, no. I didn’t mean it like that.”

Paul frowned, looking confused. “Then how did you mean it, exactly?”

Licking his lips again, James thought that all of this was a Hell of a lot easier when they’d just been kissing. 

“He said you went to see him the other day. He said you said some things to him about how I deserved better than him. How I deserved someone who cared about me more than anyone else.”

Paul flushed at that but nodded along anyways.

“Then he told me that there was already someone out there who felt like that for me. I thought—who would be crazy enough to have those kinds of feelings for me? Who is the craziest person I know? Who is always there for me, sticking up for me no matter what kind of shit I get myself into? Who could he have possible been talking about? I spent all day thinking about it, debating whether it was really possible, figuring out whether it was worth risking everything we’ve built here; our whole friendship and everything, to see if you and me could make it work. To see if we had that spark you need to make something more than just buddies work. But then I figured—what could it hurt? Really, man, what could it hurt? There’s nothing that could stop us from being friends at this point. Not even if I showed up at your place and kissed you and you hated it,” he paused, looking Paul over. “You didn’t hate it, did you? Because it was even better than I thought it could be. I don’t know where you learned to kiss like that, but I’d like to send someone a fruit basket or something. I swear I have half a chub going already. If you didn’t like it, that’s cool too, I’d understand. I just thought—it seemed kind of like you liked it.” He was babbling and he knew it, but Paul was just _staring_ at him.

“Are you serious?”

James just shrugged one shoulder a little, swallowing hard and feeling suddenly more nervous than when he’d knocked on the door in the first place. “Yeah. I’m serious. Dead serious.”

Shaking his head, Paul just reached out for James again, grabbing him by the t-shirt and yanking him closer.

“So this isn’t because Sid turned you down?”

James made a face at him. He had barely thought about Sid since he’d seen him that afternoon. “No, this is because for the first time in a long time my eyes are pretty wide open and I’m finally seeing exactly what I’m supposed to see—the thing that’s been right in front of me this whole damn time.”

Smiling, Paul brushed a kiss against James’ lips and sighed just a little bit.

“Is that the first time you’ve ever not used a pick up line? Should I be worried?”

James laughed as he shook his head and kissed Paul soundly on the mouth.

“I’d tell you to shut up, but you haven’t really told me what you think of this whole thing yet. I’m kind of standing on an island here. Are you leaving me hanging on purpose?”

“Of course I’m not. It’s just. It’s you and it’s me. I thought it was pretty obvious. I was pretty sure that _I_ was pretty obvious about the whole thing. You said that Sid basically told you.”

Shaking his head, James ran his hands up Paul’s sides, pleased when the other man shivered under his touch. “He hinted at it pretty hard. I had no idea. I wish I’d noticed it sooner. I would have saved us a whole lot of time. I’d always known that you were different—special. But I’d never really thought that someone like you could ever have feelings for someone like me. Not to mention the whole dipping your pen in the company ink thing—I never thought I’d want to before I thought about you. I always thought that we were just exceptionally good friends. That we’d grow old together with you making me breakfast for the rest of my life, but if I can have more than that… I want more than that. I think we owe it to ourselves to have more than that.”

Chewing on his kiss swollen bottom lip, Paul let go of where he’d been holding James’ shirt, smoothing the fabric down with his hands.

“I think—I have to be completely honest with you.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s what the point of this whole heart-to-heart conversation was about, Paulie. No worries.” But if James were honest with himself, he’d admit that the statement did make him a little anxious. What could the other man have to be honest about other than what they’d already claimed?

Rolling his eyes at James, Paul’s hand came up to smack him lightly on the back of the head. “I’m trying to be serious here now.”

James bit back a smile. “Of course. Go ahead.”

Sighing, Paul shook his head a little and rolled his eyes. “I don’t know how anyone manages to be serious with you when you have that face.”

James’ face broke out in a full toothy grin at that and he just shrugged a little. He knew what he looked like. “C’mon, Paulie, tell me what you were gonna say. I’m really listening. It’s important to me, I swear.”

“It’s not. Not really. I was just—this whole thing is pretty serious to me. I’ve been kind of serious about it for a long time, so don’t come into this any more if you don’t think you can be serious about it, too. I can’t just be a rebound from Sid or a great friend who has even better sex with you sometimes. It’ll always be more than that for me. Not just because we’re teammates and we need to be able to work together at the end of the day, either, but because we’ve been friends for a long time, and I’ve been gone on you for a long time, too. It’s not just—it’s not just been since today for me. I’m sorry to put you on the spot like this I just think it’s fair to be completely honest with you. I don’t want to get you involved with something you might not be ready for.”

Swallowing hard, James licked his lips. It did sound a lot more serious than he’d initially given it credit for when he’d been thinking about it earlier on in the day. Of course he’d known that the situation would be completely different for them, given that they were teammates and if things went wrong, there was always the chance that they could go _really_ wrong, but he hadn’t really thought about how far into this Paul already was. Could he be into it the way Paul was? 

For some reason, though, he didn’t feel afraid when he thought about it. There wasn’t that underlying level of fear that should be there when he thought about being in a long term relationship with someone that he’d only just started to think about that way. Probably because this was _Paulie_ and they’d practically lived in each other’s pockets for years now. They could do this. James was sure of it. All he had to think about was the way Paul had always looked fresh from bed and what it would mean if he could wake up next to him like that every morning and see him fresh from the showers outside of the rink and see that smile whenever he wanted, and always, always be the cause of it. 

There were so many things that he could think of that he wanted to do with the other man—what was there to be afraid of? If they couldn’t make it work, there was no way that they would just stop being friends. It just couldn’t work like that. He knew it wouldn’t. But he was also just as sure that they could make it work.

“I’m not going to run for the hills, you know. I had the feeling that if something happened between us, it would be serious. You’ve been one of my best friends for a long time now.”

A relieved look crossed Paul’s face, and James felt guilty for making him worry at all. Paul shouldn’t ever have to look worried about anything. James felt something he hadn’t even known was tight loosen in his chest and he reached out for Paul.

“Are we really doing this?”

James’ eyes followed the movement of Paul’s tongue as it slid out to moisten his lips and he nodded slowly, blinking hard to keep his focus. Right. They were still talking. How long had he been watching Paul like this? Surely it couldn’t have just started tonight. He wondered if this was what Sid had been talking about.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure we are. Can I please go back to kissing you now? I liked that a whole better than all this talking. I feel like we could have done this all over breakfast.”

Huffing out a laugh, Paul tangled his fingers in James’ hair and pulled him back in for a deep kiss. It was different than before and he sighed into it. It was lacking the urgency of the first kiss, but there was no lacking of the heat that flushed through him immediately. 

He slid his hand up the curve of Paul’s jaw and tangled his fingers in his hair as they stood there against the door just basking in what it felt like to be pressed together, kissing each other. He wasn’t even really sure where they were supposed to go from there, just that it felt incredibly good to be pressed against the other man breathing in the same air as him and kissing him. He was sure he could be content with just standing there like this forever if he had to be.

But then Paul decided to play it a little dirty and dragged James’ bottom lip between his teeth much like he’d done earlier, sucking it into his mouth and drawing a soft groan from him.

Slowly he pulled himself back from the other man. He didn’t think that he could _actually_ keep standing there against the door like this for that much longer, not if Paul was going to play it like that.

“What are we doing, Paulie? Because I don’t think I can keep standing here like this if you’re going to keep doing _that_.”

Paul grinned at him and licked at James’ lips. 

“What do you want to be doing, Nealsy?”

For some reason the use of his nickname made him think back to stolen moments in Junior and it just made him flush a little as he lowered his hands to cup Paul’s ass through the thin fabric of his boxers, pleased that the cloth did very little to hide just how much of an effect he had on the other man. It helped to know that he wasn’t alone in this thing.

“I don’t know. I just know that I want you, Paulie. I definitely want to see you lose those boxers..”

Paul grinned at him. “You’ve seen me naked more than a hundred times before, that’s hardly anything special.”

James shrugged a little, letting his hands wander so that he could cup Paul’s half hard cock in his hand. 

“I’d say there’s something different in seeing your cock up close.”

Paul let out a soft hiss and tried to grin shakily back at him. “Fair’s fair, then. I want to see you, too.”

James nodded, and pulled away a little reluctantly. “I guess that’s fair. Where do you—I mean, should we go to the living room or do you want to do this thing right?”

Snorting a little Paul just reached out to brush some of James’ hair away from his face.

“I’m not afraid of you seeing my bedroom, James. I was kind of hoping that you’d just stay the night after instead of sneaking out and then coming back over to steal breakfast in the morning, anyways. It just seems so much more convenient this way, don’t you think?”

Nodding again James grinned and pulled away enough so that Paul could lead them up the stairs to his bedroom, the bed still messed up from where Paul had obviously been sleeping before James had shown up only a short time ago. It felt like a lot longer. 

“Sorry, wasn’t really expecting a guest,” Paul said a bit sheepishly, kicking aside the bundle of clothes that James recognized as what he’d been wearing earlier that day. He grinned a little. 

“Don’t worry about it. I kind of like it.”

Paul just rolled his eyes and stepped back into James’ space, reaching down to tug his own shirt over his head, tossing it into the pile with his other clothes. “Of course you do. You’re so weird.”

James just shrugged at him and mirrored his movements, reaching to tug his shirt up and over his head, tossing it into the pile with Paul’s clothes. They could sort them out in the morning, he wasn’t worried about it.

“Pants, too? You ready for all this man?”

Paul sighed a little and glanced skyward. “What have I gotten myself into?”

Reaching forward, James cupped Paul’s cheek and brushed their noses together before kissing him softly and pulling back a little. “I hope you ask yourself that question a lot in the future.”

Paul looked a little dazed, but nodded and watched as James unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans, pushing them down his hips along with his boxer briefs and kicking them into the pile of clothes. He stood there naked and not feeling even a little shy about his own nudity or even a little embarrassed about the state of his own arousal. He knew how good he looked like this, naked with his cock curled just a little upwards towards his chest. He’d been told before, and he knew from the look on Paul’s face, that the other man clearly agreed with that train of thought.

“C’mon, Paulie. Your turn.”

Paul nodded and licked his lips as he reached down without breaking his gaze from James’ body and pushed his boxers down, kicking them off to the side, standing there just as aroused as James was. James swallowed hard. This was all so very real all of a sudden. There were cocks in the room and only one of them was his. The other one belonged to one of his best friends, and for about a half a second he lost a bit of the sass that he’d had only a moment ago. But then he glanced up at Paul’s face and saw that the other man was clearly a little nervous, too, and he figured that that just wasn’t right. They didn’t have anything to be nervous about. This was going to be amazing. Nobody was ever going to have had sex as good as they were going to.

He reached out for Paul, his fingers brushing against the tip of the other man’s cock and grinned a little at the moan it elicited from him, feeling that cockiness returning to him at the sound of it. How could he have been worried even for a second? 

“Looking good, Paulie,” he murmured, closing the distance between them so that he could wrap his fingers firmly around the other man’s cock and stroke him slowly. He knew it was dry, but Paul didn’t really seem to mind. His eyes were wide and he was watching James intently.

“You talk a lot,” was the response he got.

James huffed out a laugh and nodded. “I know. Get used to it.”

“I think I can. I think I want to,” Paul breathed, pushing his hips up into James’ touch, his eyes fluttering closed and this close, James could really see how pale his eyelashes were and he smiled a little to himself for staring at such a strange thing and leaned in instead to kiss him. He didn’t want to get too mushy just because this was the first time they were going to be doing anything together. The first of many times, he hoped.

It seemed like Paul had something in mind, too, because he was reaching out to lift his hand to his mouth, opening his eyes to keep his gaze fixed firmly on James as he licked a strip along his palm, and lowered it to wrap around James’ cock, stroking him slowly. It felt good, the grip not too loose or too tight, it was just a little more than what he would have done for himself, but it felt just right. He couldn’t think of the last time he’d had a hand job that had been so good so immediately without any guidance from him.

“Pay attention, Nealsy,” Paul teased him lightly, squeezing the base of his cock lightly on an upward stroke to get his attention. He realized that he had paused in the movement of his own hand to enjoy the feel of Paul’s.

“Oops, sorry. Distracted me, so it’s really your own fault,” he retorted, stroking Paul just a little more quickly to get a response from him. It worked. The other man made a soft sound and pushed his hips up into the touch.

“Tell me what you like,” Paul asked him, a touch of desperation in his voice. “In bed. Tell me what you like in bed.”

James leaned in and kissed Paul softly on the mouth, his tongue sliding lightly against Paul’s lips before he hummed softly against them, not bothering to pull away from him, instead just resting his forehead against Paul’s.

“I like pretty much everything. This is good. Your hand feels fucking great. I can feel where you learned to hold your sticks, it’s just a little rougher in patches and I love it,” Paul lets out a soft laugh against James’ lips at that.

“I can feel that on your hands, too. It’s all part of fucking a hockey player. Tell me what else.”

James licked at Paul’s lips. 

“I like having things inside my ass. Anything really. Fingers, tongues, toys, cocks, all of it. Feels great. Think you’re up to the task?”

That time Paul’s breath hitched and his eyes widened a little as he glanced down at where their hands were moving over each other’s cocks.

“Are you serious?”

“Are you really asking me that again tonight? I’m always serious.”

Paul groaned and closed his eyes. “That’s hot, James. I can’t wait—I don’t think you realize how great it sounds when you say stuff like that.”

James grinned widely at him and nosed lightly at his cheek, relishing the feel of the stubble he felt there. 

“Oh, I do. Why else would I say it?”

Paul just groaned again. “You’re going to kill me here.”

James just slid his thumb over the head of Paul’s cock slowly. “No, I think you’ll survive it. Why don’t you tell me a little bit about what you like in bed?”

Paul shook his head a little. “I’m not as exciting as you. I’m big into blowjobs—Love giving them, actually. Are we really having this conversation like this? It seems kind of weird.”

James’ eyes were blown a little wide and dark, but he just kept grinning anyways. “You brought it up. Blowjobs, huh? You sound kind of like the perfect guy to me, Paulie.”

Paul huffed out a breath and pulled back a little so that he could catch his breath.

“Why don’t we actually move this to the bed? I feel like we could have done this against the door downstairs.”

Raising a brow, James let his hand drop from Paul’s cock. “Do you usually get naked with people in your front corridor?”

Paul shrugged, dropping his hand, too. “I don’t know. It doesn’t hurt to start.”

James just rolled his eyes and stepped towards the bed. “How do you want to start all this?”

Paul licked his lips. “Why don’t we start with you on your back?”

There was no argument this time, James just moved to comply and was flat on his back with his legs spread open just enough that Paul would be able to fit between them if that was what he wanted to do. 

Eyes followed Paul as he stepped to the side of the bed and dug around in his bedside table for a second before coming up with a bottle of lube. He was grinning as he showed it to James.

“Really? You want to do it all tonight?”

He felt a little bundle of… something-- maybe anxiety, in the pit of his stomach. He willed it away. There was no reason to feel anxious right now. Not now that they were actually in this position.

“No. You have to skate in a couple of hours so there’s not really any time for that, but if there was—I mean, I would definitely want to fuck you. I’ve been thinking about it for a long time. But I thought maybe I could suck you and get you off with my fingers in the meantime?”

James nodded eagerly and spread his legs a little wider. “Yeah. Yeah, that sounds like a great idea. But what about you?”

Paul sucked his bottom lip into his mouth and shrugged. “Don’t worry. I’ll be getting off tonight, too.”

James nodded though he looked a little unsure. “I want to be the reason you come, Paulie. I want it to be because of me.”

Paul breathed out a soft laugh, shaking his head. “It’s been because of you for a long time, Nealsy. Don’t worry about that.”

A wide grin made its way across James’ face at that and he nodded, shifting his hips a little at that, his confidence restored. That was the kind of news that every guy wanted to hear. Or at least the kind of news that James definitely liked to hear.

He wondered if he ought to pose or try to do something sexy for Paul while he was circling the bed, but while he was thinking about it, the other man was climbing onto the bed and sliding a hand up his leg, and it surprised him enough that he jumped just a little.

Paul laughed, and glanced up at James. “You nervous, Nealsy?”

James shook his head and forced his muscles to relax, keeping his legs spread open. “Of course not, I just zoned out for a second or something and you surprised me.”

Hand moving slowly higher up his leg to slide his fingernails against James’ thigh, Paul just grinned and lowered his head so that he could kiss slowly in the path that his hand had just moved. “Sure, okay. Whatever you say. Just try to pay attention from now on, okay? I’m not just doing this for myself here.”

Huffing, James nodded. “I was planning to.”

Besides, even the press of Paul’s lips against his skin like that felt really fucking good. It would be hard not to pay full attention to him now. It was easy to stay relaxed, even though a part of him really wanted to twist his hips a little so that Paul’s lips would be closer to his cock. It seemed like Paul had other ideas and really didn’t mind teasing his way there.

Fingertips sliding their way up the length of his cock had him letting out a soft gasp and James arched his hips just a little, trying to get more of the light touch as Paul’s lips chased the touch lightly, eliciting another, slightly louder sound this time.

“Fuck, Paulie, what are you doing? Just suck me already.”

He could feel the curve of Paul’s smile against his cock and just pushed his hips a little into it as Paul’s fingers finally wrapped around the base of his cock and stroked him slowly, his lips coming up to wrap around just the tip and sucking lightly.

James’ head fell back against the pillow and he wasn’t sure that he could watch that. It felt amazing; he could barely stand to see how good it looked. 

So lost in the sensation, James almost didn’t hear the sound of the lubricant being opened. Before he could even comprehend what was going on, Paul had one finger pressing its way slowly inside of him, and James’ mouth was hanging open in a way that he was sure looked really stupid, and so he was glad that Paul’s head was down and he couldn’t see him.

The finger inside of him felt so good and it had been so long since he’d had something inside of him that he hadn’t put there himself, he’d almost resigned himself to the fact that he’d be waiting a whole lot longer for it. He couldn’t have imagined in his wildest dreams that he’d be lying here with Paul’s mouth on his cock, sucking him in just a little deeper, tongue sliding flat against the underside of his cock, and finger pressing deeper inside of him.

 _Paulie_ of all people.

It lit a fire in him and he was pressing down against the feel of it, wanting more. Wishing that there wasn’t a skate to get ready for in a few hours because he would give just about anything to know what it felt like to have Paul’s cock inside of him. All that anxious uncertainty from before seemed to have disappeared as soon as Paul’s hands had made their way onto his body, and he was at the complete mercy of the other man now. He had absolutely no shame about it, either, making a soft whining sound every time that Paul managed to slide his finger up against just the right spots inside of him, and when his tongue slid up against his slit, tasting the precome gathered there he gasped out loudly.

“Fuck Paulie. _Paulie._ More, please. More!”

He could feel the other man grinning again and a second finger was being pushed inside of him, and James was trying to spread his legs wider, wanting to feel them inside of him as deep as he could get them, rotating his hips downwards onto them, trying to also push his hips up just a little into Paul’s mouth while keeping in mind that he didn’t exactly have the permission he needed to just go to town and start fucking the other man’s mouth.

That permission wasn’t long in coming, though, as Paul pulled off of his cock with a lewd sound, his hand still jerking him and fingers still moving inside of him in a slow, easy rhythm never slowing down as he grinned up at James, his face a little wet and James had no idea how he was managing to look down at him when he looked like that. His lips swollen from where they’d been wrapped around his cock and his eyes wide and glassy and blown out because that was right, Paul _liked_ sucking cock. More than liked it, if the upward curve of his own cock bobbing against his stomach was anything to go by.

James groaned and threw one hand up over his face. He couldn’t keep looking at Paul when he looked like that, it was just too much.

“What are you trying to do to me? Kill me?”

Paul huffed out a breath and jerked James a little faster. 

“I want you to fuck my mouth. You want it, don’t you? I want you to come, Nealsy. Fuck my mouth and come for me.”

James groaned loudly and reached out to brush his fingers against Paul’s cheek and up a little higher until his fingers were tangled in the other man’s hair. Idly he wondered if he would have a truly uncomfortable beard burn tomorrow, and he kind of hoped that he would. Some forced remembrance of exactly what had taken place tonight. He didn’t want even the slightest chance that he would forget—not that he thought he would.

“Yeah, I want that. Fuck, I want that Paulie. Who knew you had such a filthy mouth. Oh my god.”

Paul just grinned again and lowered his head to close his mouth over James’ cock, taking him in deeper this time, his throat relaxing around James’ cock as he bobbed his head carefully.

Having permission to do whatever he wanted to do made him feel better, for sure, but he was still slow the first thrust he made deep into Paul’s throat, feeling it contract just a little around his cock. His fingers tightened in their hold in Paul’s hair on instinct, and he repeated the motion again and again, thrusting a little unevenly as he panted.

Paul was making small sounds of his own every time that James thrust, too, needy little breathy sounds that James thought _he_ ought to have been making, but he didn’t have the brain power to really think it over as he thrust and felt Paul’s fingers move deeply inside of him, twisting so that they were massaging lightly at his prostate.

The stimulation was extraordinary and he was sure that he hadn’t felt arousal pulled so tightly through his entire body like he felt right then. 

He pulled tightly at Paul’s hair to warn him that he was close, but it just made Paul groan a sound that vibrated through his entire body and had James pushing his hips up harder into the other man’s mouth and coming harder than he was sure he’d ever come before, and he could hear the effort it was taking Paul to breathe in through his nose and he should have felt guilty, but it just wrung an extra little groan out of him as his hips twitched a little.

Carefully, Paul pulled his fingers out of James, and James missed them immediately. Missed the fullness that had come with the feeling of having them inside of him and just the knowledge that a part of Paul had been inside of him. Slowly, Paul pulled off of his cock, too, pressing his sticky lips to the tip lightly and making James shiver at how sensitive it was. Almost too much.

“Holy fuck,” he breathed, fingers falling from where they’d been gripping Paul’s hair and sliding down his whiskered cheek to brush against puffy lips. “Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”

Paul shook his head, still smiling a little blearily up at James, and James shifted a little to reach further down. “Good, let’s do you now, then.”

Paul made a soft sound and raised his hips up into the touch. “Yeah, let’s do me,” he agreed. 

James’s fingers came around the length of Paul’s cock and he was pleased to find that it was still hard and hot against his belly, leaking and wet at the tip. Obviously Paul hadn’t exaggerated when he’d said that he really liked to suck cock. That just made him an even better match for James then he’d thought before.

“You feel great. I can’t wait until I get to have your cock in me. First day off,” he murmured, stroking Paul slowly.

Breathing out a laugh, his hips moved with the strokes of James’ hand. “Yes, okay. You won’t see me fighting that.”

“Good, now tell me what you want me to do because I want to see how dumb your jizz face is.”

Paul made a face at him, but twisted their bodies until they were lying side by side. “Just like this. I want to come on you, if you don’t mind.”

Shaking his head, James stroked Paul a little faster, twisting his wrist and squeezing down near the base just a little on every upstroke. “I don’t mind. It’ll give us a reason to get clean together.”

That made Paul grin a little before he was moaning at the feel of James’ thumb moving through the precome built up at the tip of his cock and his head fell back a little. “I’m already pretty close. It’s not going to take much. Just—yeah, like that.”

James nodded, leaning forward and capturing Paul’s lips in his own, kissing him hard on the mouth, tongue sliding in so that he could taste himself there, feeling a soft pulse of warmth rush through him at that fact. 

It was obvious that Paul was having trouble keeping up with the kiss and so it was more Paul’s open mouth and James trying to kiss him as Paul grew closer and closer to the edge, his breath picking up as his hips moved restlessly into James’ hand.

A loud groan echoed in the room around them when he finally did come, too, and he was clutching at James’ shoulders, his mouth hanging all the way open and eyes squeezed shut as he spilled hot and thick against James’ hip.

The feel of it made James shudder and after he’d stroked Paul through it, he ran his fingers through the mess with a grin.

“Mm, I don’t mind this at all.”

Paul was watching him with a slightly dazed look on his face as James brought his messy fingers to his lips and sucked them into his mouth, tasting it.

“It’s only fair, don’t you think? You got to taste me, now I’ve tasted you.”

Paul shook his head, still breathing heavily. “You would be thinking about what is fair, wouldn’t you?”

James grinned. “I am. Besides, I was curious. Can’t really fault a guy for being curious, can you?”

Paul just shook his head again. “Hey, you don’t see me complaining. I’m still—this whole thing still feels a bit like a dream I had once.”

James leaned in and pressed a slow kiss to Paul’s mouth. “It’s not a dream, I promise. This is real. We’re really giving this a shot and trust me—the sex was great, and being friends with you has been great… you put those two things together and how could we possibly not be the greatest couple ever?”

Paul smiled at him and closed his eyes for a second, leaning back against the pillow. “I’ve been thinking something like that for a long time now. I think—if you give me the chance, I can make you really happy, Nealsy.”

It was James’ turn to smile at Paul. “I’m already really happy. It’s hard to imagine being happier than I am right now. It’s hard to imagine anyone making me happier than you can make me. I just can’t believe that it took me so long to realize it. I feel like I wasted so much of our time.”

Paul slid a little closer to him and wrapped an arm around his waist. “We can make up for it all now,” he said slowly, their cheeks brushing together and James thought that he might have beard burn on his face where all his teammates could see it and know what they’d been up to, and he didn’t even mind. “If you want to.”

James nodded. “I want to. I thought I’d made that pretty obvious. I think it’s our turn to take a chance. It’s hard to imagine this whole thing going wrong.”

“It could, though. If we’re not careful. We’ll still have to be careful with it.”

James licked his lips. “I know. I know it’s not just being buddies and having sex. I know it’s actually working at having a relationship. That’s what I want.”

Paul let out a breath and James could feel him smiling again. “I guess we owe Sid a little bit for giving us that final push, huh?”

James made a soft sound of agreement. “I guess we do. If he and Geno made up tonight then we’ll call it even.”

Paul laughed softly and they were curled up together on the bed, breathing evenly together.

“Thanks for waking me up for this, Nealsy, but do you think we could afford to take a nap before practice?”

James nodded and tucked Paul a little closer to him. “Yeah, I think so. We’ll clean up in the morning. Lots of time.”

Paul sighed contentedly. “Good, I’ll make you something real good for breakfast as a thank you. You’ve probably earned it. Or we both have, actually.”

James laughed a little, letting his eyes close as he settled in to sleep, tugging the comforter over the both of them.

He had no idea how he hadn’t realized that this was what he’d wanted all along, but he was glad that he was being given a second chance to figure that out now. Whether or not that was thanks to Sid and Geno and what had happened between the three of them, he didn’t know, but for now he was just grateful to have Paul pressed up against him and for the contented feeling in the middle of his chest. He had something to be grateful for, and he was going to take advantage of that to the fullest.


	22. Chapter Twenty-Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally the last chapter. Now that I'm finished it all, there's so much that I wish I could go back and change. Isn't that the way it always goes? Oh well, I'm happy that I actually finished what this eventually became. It started as a little oneshot and obviously became so much more.
> 
> Thanks to everyone who read through this far and left wonderful comments, you're all amazing and I appreciated each and every comment! I hope you enjoyed.

Waking up the next morning, Sidney stretched out a little uncomfortably and found Geno wrapped tightly around him. He tried to wriggle out from his grasp, and sighed a little when he found it more difficult than it had sounded in his head.

They hadn’t done a whole lot of sleeping, but even when it had been time for them to get a little sleep, the only time that Sidney had been particularly successful had been once he’d been totally physically exhausted from all of the sex they’d been having. Even as he woke up, he felt the slightly unpleasant ache in his lower back and winced just a little bit. Unpleasant as it was, he was glad for it. It would be a nice reminder to have all day. He couldn’t remember ever having gone quite so many rounds before, but then again he’d never stayed whole night with just one person before.

It was overly warm in Geno’s grasp, though, so he shifted around and shook the other man’s arms hoping that he’d be easy enough to wake. He was lucky, Geno peeked one dark eye open and groaned a little. “Sid, sleep. Still too early to be up.”

Sidney shook his head and used the opportunity to slip out of Geno’s grip, breathing in relief when he was free. He didn’t particularly enjoy the sensation of being confined. “It’s not too early at all. Don’t you have practice this morning? And I have someone I have to meet in the afternoon, so I can’t stay, either.”

Geno opened his eyes and frowned a little up at Sidney who was sitting by this point, running his fingers through his hair, glad that he’d managed to get all of the gel out of it in their half-shower before he’d fallen asleep. There wasn’t too much worse than falling asleep with a hair full of gel, and Sidney had plenty of experience with it.

“Who are you meeting? I thought you weren’t going to—“

Frowning, Sidney rolled his eyes at Geno. “It’s not a client. It’s an old friend. We meet once a week to catch up. It’s nothing you need to worry about.”

Geno nodded a little and reached to tug Sidney down, kissing him on the mouth. 

Sidney made a soft sound into the kiss, despite the fact that they both had fairly horrendous morning breath and Sidney thought it probably had something to do with the fact that he hadn’t brushed his teeth after blowing Geno the night before and then had just gone to sleep like that. He was really losing his touch. It was an entirely new experience to be kissing someone when he first woke up and was still a little slow in his movements from being asleep. He felt a little sloppy and off kilter, but Geno didn’t really seem to mind, so why should he?

He kind of liked this part of it. Even if the rest of it was still a little odd.

Eventually he pressed a hand against Geno’s chest and pushed back, pushing himself into a sitting position again. 

“You should brush your teeth. I should too. Do you have anything for breakfast? You should definitely eat something before practice. I shouldn’t keep you too distracted.”

Groaning, Geno pressed a hand over his face, shaking his head. “Sid, you’re the best kind of distraction. Practice not for another two hours. Come back to bed.”

Shaking his head, Sidney slid off the bed. “Come on, you should get ready. There’s nothing better than being properly ready for your team. Nealsy told me you’ve been slacking lately, so you should be ready.”

Geno just groaned again and sighed before finally sitting up. 

“Okay, okay, I’ll get ready but only if you agree to come with me.”

Sidney froze, turning towards Geno.

“You want me to come with you? To practice? Don’t you think that might be a little awkward? With Nealsy and everything?”

Shaking his head, Geno stood up, stretching his arms high up over his head. “No, he gave us permission, didn’t he? We can show him that he didn’t go to see you for nothing. It might make him feel better about everything.”

Sidney nodded even though he was still a little unsure. 

“And the rest of your team? You don’t think they’ll think it’s weird that you’re bringing the guy who dated one of your teammates but who you’re dating now…?”

Geno’s lips thinned a little and he shrugged. “Better they get used to it today at a practice when they can say something to me then at events when it’s too public, isn’t it? Like taking off a band aid.”

Nodding again, Sidney reached for the poor, wrinkled pile of his pants and wished he would have had something a little less obviously slept over in to go in. 

“I guess—yeah, if you think it’s a good idea. I mean if you think it’s better to get it over with quickly, then yeah. I guess we could do it.”

Tugging his boxers and pants on, Sidney reached for his shirt, glad that he’d managed to at least fold one item of his clothing. He wouldn’t look _too_ disheveled. Thank goodness for that.

“Seriously though, Geno. You have to eat something and maybe take a shower before practice. This whole house probably smells like sex.”

Grinning widely, Geno just gave Sidney what looked like a lascivious grin. Sidney just shook his head.

“Don’t even think about it. I’m not distracting you from practice. Your team needs you to be on your game and I won’t be responsible for any of your messing up during practice or you looking like someone shot your dog, either, so don’t give me that look.”

Geno was pouting a little bit, but walked towards the en suite bathroom anyways. “Took a shower with you last night, Sid, don’t know why you think I need another one this morning. It’s not polite to tell someone they stink.”

Following Geno, he leaned against the door frame, trying not to enjoy the view _too_ much. He really didn’t want to distract the other man too much.

“You’re going to be around your teammates a lot. The last thing they need is to smell me all over you.”

“But don’t you smell just as bad as me?” Geno asked, raising a brow.

Sidney shook his head. “Nope, I smell just fine. Besides, I won’t be rubbing elbows with any of them. And I’m not getting in that shower with you, no matter what you say. We both know neither one of us would get very clean.”

Sighing, Geno just shrugged and reached into the shower to turn it on. “If you insist. You take the fun out of everything.”

Shaking his head again, Sidney just stepped towards the sink and glanced around. “You have any spare toothbrushes?”

Raising a brow as he was stepping into the shower, Geno called out to him. “Can kiss me and blow me, but can’t use my toothbrush?”

Sidney made a face. “I’d rather not, if you have a spare.”

 

Laughter made its way out to him from the shower and he flushed a little. 

“In the drawer under the sink. Should be a couple in there.”

Sidney breathed out in relief. It just seemed too personal to share something as intimate as a toothbrush with someone else. 

“Thanks!” He called back, unwrapping the toothbrush and spreading some toothpaste on it before scrubbing his teeth roughly to get the taste of the night before out of it. It wasn’t the flavour of paste that he would have chosen, but beggars couldn’t be choosers. 

It was a lot harder than he’d thought to get Geno showered and down into the kitchen for breakfast without stumbling too many times for sloppy kisses along the way. It was still all so new for them, and even though he’d woken up feeling a little unsure of his own thoughts on their situation he felt really comfortable with Geno like this. He liked it a lot. He liked stumbling down the stairs and into the kitchen with a freshly showered and still a little damp Geno first thing in the morning for breakfast, even if it had meant waking up tangled with him.

“What do you have for breakfast?” He asked against the smooth curve of the other man’s mouth, Geno’s hand comfortable against his hip.

“Mm, protein shake usually before practice, but can probably make you some eggs if you want?”

Shaking his head, Sidney grinned against Geno’s lips, pulling away from him. “A shake would be fine for me, too. I feel like it’s probably best after all of the—well, everything, from last night.”

Nodding along Geno moved to prepare them both shakes, looking entirely pleased with himself and Sidney noted that he didn’t think that in the whole time he’d known the other man that he’d looked as happy as he looked just then. Maybe this decision really had been the best one for the both of them.

It was definitely starting to feel like it, if the comfortable sensation settling in his chest was anything to go by.

“Staring, Sid.”

Sidney flushed a little and shrugged as he reached to take the shake being offered to him. He was allowed to stare now, wasn’t that the whole point of this thing?

“Yeah, so?”

Geno just shrugged and took a long gulp of his shake. “Just saying.”

Sidney nodded and continued right on staring.

“Do you feel better?” He finally asked. “I know Nealsy had said you were obviously—just that you weren’t doing well before, when we were still apart, but do you feel better already?”

It wasn’t hard for Sidney to know that he already did. He felt relief at being with Geno again, and it was hard to imagine that one person could have such an impact on his life. He’d never thought, in a million years, that he would be in this place. Certainly not literally in this place. Geno was a superstar, and just a few weeks ago, Sidney had just been a well-paid hooker. 

“Feel better than before? Of course. Felt better as soon as I saw you outside my door yesterday, Sid. Was just missing you and didn’t know what to do. Didn’t know how to be there for my team when all I could think of was how I’d let you down and how I was still letting them down, too.”

Licking his lips, Sidney nodded. He understood that. As much as he could, anyways.

“But I don’t have to let anyone down anymore, because now I have you, and the team will understand. They’ll be happy that I’m happy as long as Nealsy doesn’t mind. I’m sure Nealsy will be fine, too. He really came to you yesterday?”

Sidney nodded, taking another sip of his shake. “He did. Convinced me that all I had to do was come and see you and everything was going to work out just fine.”

Smiling, Geno leaned back against the counter. “Owe Nealsy a lot, then. He made this work. Will have to give him something.”

Sidney took another sip of his shake, humming to himself. “Or maybe we could help him and Paul out a little bit. If he hasn’t already talked to him—I kind of, sort of told him that he might already have someone out there who cared for him.”

Geno raised a brow. “Paulie?”

This time it was Sidney’s turn to be surprised. “Are you serious? You never noticed? How could you not notice the way those two are around each other? Even when I was with James I felt like a huge third wheel whenever Paul was with us.”

Letting out a bark of laughter, Geno shook his head. “Not really serious—that would be…. Can’t believe it.”

Sidney shook his head. “I’m completely serious. Paul even admitted it when he came to see me. I didn’t really mean to tell James his secret, but he looked like a kicked puppy by the end of it, I thought maybe he could have used some good news. I didn’t exactly _tell_ him that it was Paul, I just heavily implied it. He probably would have had to be pretty stupid not to get it by the end of our conversation.”

Looking up at the ceiling and shaking his head, Geno sighed a little. “I can’t believe it. Nealsy and Paulie. Wonder if they’ll really go for it. Would be something really magical, those two. Always together anyways.”

Sidney nodded, stepping forward to place his empty glass in the sink. “Exactly. They seem like a good pair, and if James is happy with someone else, maybe the team won’t have such a big problem with us.”

Maybe that was selfish of him—it probably was—but he wanted things to be as easy for the two of them going forward as possible.

“Who knows, maybe they already worked it out,” Geno said before tossing back the rest of his shake, and turning around to rinse the glasses out.

“That would be nice and convenient. Nealsy did look like he was pretty confused about the whole thing when I talked to him yesterday. Maybe confused enough to actually talk to Paul?”

Geno shrugged, but there was a thoughtful look on his face. “Nealsy is brave. Maybe he did.”

Sidney nodded and leaned back against the island, grinning up at Geno as the other man pinned him in, pressing their lips together in a slow kiss. His toes curled a little against the hardwood floor and he hummed into the kiss before slowly pulling away, pushing at Geno’s chest. He didn’t like being pinned for too long. It made him feel a little itchy under his skin.

“Ready to go?” He asked Geno as they breathed, still in each other’s space a little.

There was a moment where Geno looked like he still wanted to say something else, but instead he just nodded and led the way down the hallway and to the front door.

Really, it was almost a shame to leave the house and to leave the little bubble that they’d created for themselves over the night and the beginning part of the day. It meant that their moment of tentatively built bliss could be punctured. He just had to hope that everything went all right at practice.

There was a moment as they slid into Geno’s care where he wasn’t sure why he was going with him after all. There was so much risk to it. What if James had a problem with it after all? Or what if Geno’s other teammates had a problem with it? Kris Letang had warned him once not to get too involved with James and Geno otherwise there might be repercussions, but things were seemingly worked out now, so surely there wouldn’t be anything else going on, would there? Hopefully there wouldn’t be any more punching. He’d had all the punching he wanted to have.

Geno’s hand came to rest on his twitching leg, and stilled it, settling him a little.

By the time Geno was pulling into the player’s parking lot, Sidney had worked himself up a little bit. Something he had gotten pretty good at doing during car rides.

“Ready to go, Sid? I’ll show you where you can wait, and then I’ll go to the locker room and do practice. Probably not too many people in the stands today. Can stick to yourself if you want, I’m sure people will leave you alone.”

Sidney swallowed hard and nodded. That was probably a good thing. Geno was right the team was probably less likely to throw a fit about him being there if it was literally in the public eye. He just hoped there wouldn’t be a reason to.

They made their way into the building, Geno greeting a few people as they walked by them curious glances following them. It probably wasn’t every day that Geno showed up with another person to practice. 

“Okay, go through here and up into the stands. You going to be okay? You can come back down through here if anything happens. Security guys will let you back through.”

Nodding, Sidney leaned in as Geno quickly brushed his lips against Sidney’s cheek and he stepped back and out towards the stands. He felt okay so far. Nothing had gone wrong.

There weren’t that many people in the stands when he was climbing the steps to an empty section and sliding into a seat where he could see the ice clearly, but hopefully wouldn’t be _too_ visible to the players on the ice. He wasn’t looking to flaunt himself too much. He was really just there to be with Geno and to maybe let the other players get a better feel for him being around.

The rumbling of the small crowd was the first sign that the team was filtering onto the ice for practice, and he watched as they all came out from the tunnel, smiling a little to himself when he caught sight of Geno who was stalking out with James, Paul, and Fleury. They separated into the groups that matched the colours of their jerseys, but Sidney was sure that he saw, just for a second, that James and Paul lingered together before separating to join their groups, and a smile tugged at his lips. He hid it behind his hand.

He hoped that maybe things had worked out for the absolute best case scenario he’d been thinking up for them all. If James and Paul had really worked things out between them, that would explain at least a part of the easy look on Geno’s face as he skated around the ice, the puck sliding between his and James’ sticks in perfect tape to tape passes that made Sidney’s grin widen a little bit more.

That had to be a good sign. Anything that showed that their team dynamic hadn’t really been affected-- that was a good sign for Sidney. It was a great sign for the Penguins, who Sidney had been worried he’d been affecting the play of. He didn’t want to be the reason that they didn’t succeed in the playoffs or anywhere else. He wanted the team to be just as successful as he knew they could be.

Geno and James came together to score a rather fantastic goal at one end of the ice and Sidney heard the small crowd cheer for them, and couldn’t help a small inhalation of breath himself. It was so different from the last time he’d been there. He wasn’t worried that someone was going to hit someone else and cause a serious injury. The chance of that happening in practice—well, that was unlikely. And that goal had been a thing of beauty. It was obvious, the kind of chemistry that the two of them had on the ice together, and Sidney was glad that it seemed to be intact. Very relieved.

After scoring the goal, Geno spun around in a bit of a circle, obviously looking for Sidney, and he raised his hand so that Geno could see him, and they waved at each other a little. James caught sight of him, too, and waved a little. Something loosened in Sidney’s chest and he waved back quickly even though he was quickly getting the attention of the rest of the team and, definitely, the attention of some of the other fans hanging around the rink.

He slid off his chair and headed back down the way he’d come towards the locker room. The security guys seemed to recognize him just like Geno had said and let him stand by the entrance to the tunnel so that he could watch the rest of the practice leaning just out of the view of most of the crowd. He really didn’t want to be someone’s article piece, and he didn’t want to get Geno or James any extra attention that they weren’t looking for. Especially not when things were just starting to look better. Not now.

Eventually the team started coming off the ice and as they walked past him he was greeted with looks of varying degrees of welcome. Some guys offering him small smiles and others… really not so much. Kris Letang even scowled at him a little and made him feel extremely uncomfortable. Fleury looked very confused to see him there, and paused near the end of the line. “What are you doing here? I thought Paulie said—“

Geno pushed lightly at Fleury’s back, reaching to ruffle Sidney’s hair a little bit. “Good to see you waited for me, Sid. Sorry to get you too much attention, but I wanted to make sure you saw my goal.”

“Our goal!” James piped up where he was walking into the locker room.

Fleury looked between Geno and Sidney and his eyes widened a little bit. “Ooohhh. I see. Okay. I’m just going to— Yeah. You get ‘im, G. Do your wild thing.“ he gestured towards the locker room and continued walking.

Sidney groaned a little and wiped his hands over his face, leaning against the wall. “This is a mess. I didn’t mean to stay the whole time, but I didn’t bring my car and I needed you to drive me back to your place before I could go and meet Mario for coffee, remember?”

It looked like Geno was actually just kind of remembering it as Sidney was saying it now, but that didn’t really matter as long as he remembered it at all, and Sidney sighed.

“Some of those guys didn’t look too happy to see me, but Nealsy and Paul—they looked…”

A grin lit up Geno’s face at that and he nodded. “They came in together. Wait until you see them up close. Don’t know for sure, but think it’s kind of obvious after what you said before.”

It seemed as though the other two had heard them talking or something, because Paul and James were making their out of the locker room to see what was holding Geno up, pausing when they saw that he was still standing with Sidney.

“Hey G, Sid. What’s up?”

Up close like that, Sidney could see the little bit of beard burn down the line of James’ throat, and it was obvious that he hadn’t had the chance to shave that morning. Paul didn’t look much better, and they were standing even closer together than they had been at the party or any of the other times Sidney had been out with James and felt like the odd man out.

That had to be a good sign.

He grinned just a little awkwardly at them.

“I just—Geno invited me to come and see you guys practice. I had a little bit of extra time so I figured why not?”

Raising a brow, Paul crossed his arms. “Was that really such a good idea? Some of the guys aren’t really feeling that friendly towards you, you know.”

Sidney nodded. “I kind of got that impression. It’s not like I didn’t earn that reputation, but if I’m going to—if Geno and I are going to make this work, I’m going to have to get along with them eventually, right? Why not start it sooner rather than later?”

He was shorter than them all regularly, but he felt so much smaller than them standing there with them all dressed in their gear and wearing skates. It was a little intimidating, but Sidney refused to let that show on his face or in the square of his shoulders. 

“It might be your lucky day. I’m feeling a little generous today.”

Sidney turned his attention to Paul who was speaking to him. “What do you mean, generous?”

Shrugging, the other man reached up to unfasten his helmet, tucking it under his arm. “I mean, I had a pretty good night and I’m feeling pretty good. I’m pretty sure I can convince the rest the team that it’s time to give Sid a bit of a break. Or at least distract them from the fact that Geno stole him away from Nealsy.”

Geno raised his brows at his teammate and tilted his head to the side a little. “What do you mean, Paulie? How could you make them give Sid a break?”

To be honest, Sidney was wondering the same thing. It didn’t make sense that just one person could have an impact on a whole team like that.

“Well the ones that are mad at him are mad at him because he messed around on Nealsy and then hooked up with you, right, Geno? So what if they found out that Nealsy doesn’t really care about that anymore because he’s moved on?”

Sidney felt satisfaction rush through him. He’d been right, after all. The two of them had worked through whatever hangups they’d had and hooked up after all. He nodded in agreement with what Paul was saying. That was what he’d been hoping for all along. He’d hoped that if James had found someone new that it would take the attention off of what he’d done to the other man and the rest of the team would be content with the fact that he was making Geno happy. Which he was sure he was doing. Geno’s hand was on his waist now, and he didn’t even mind. Nobody would be able to see them this far into the tunnel unless they got past security.

“You saying he moved on?” Geno asked carefully, grinning a little.

James reached out and bumped his still-gloved hand against Paul’s, nodding. “Yeah, he’s moved on to greener pastures.” He was grinning, too. Sidney noticed how happy he looked. Easily the happiest he’d looked the whole time Sidney had known him, and that meant something. That made it even more obvious that the two of them really hadn’t been meant for each other. “No offense, Sid.”

Sidney shook his head, shrugging a little. He didn’t really mind the dig. He glanced up at Geno who didn’t really seem to understand it. “No offense taken. So you two, then?”

Paul nodded, glancing over at James and giving him a look that was almost stupid in how sappy it was. Sidney hoped that he never looked at Geno like that. The whole world would be aware of his feelings in a split second if he did. “Yeah, the two of us. I guess we have you to thank for that, so for now… let’s call it even and see if we can work on getting the team to deal with you a little.”

Really, Sidney was willing to agree with just about anything that would make life a little easier for Geno right about now. He wanted more of the easiness that had been in the other man’s shoulders when he’d been on the ice playing with James. He wanted him to feel like that all the time around his teammates. He didn’t want them to keep thinking about him as the guy who had stolen his teammate’s boyfriend. That was a reputation Geno didn’t deserve.

Or maybe he did deserve it a little bit, but Sidney still didn’t want him to have it.

“Let’s go in. You ready?”

Sidney nodded and followed the much taller guys into the locker room which got suddenly quiet when he entered it, the welcome pretty similar to what he’d experienced out in the hallway. Some of the guys just looked confused to see him, but some of them just plain seemed not to care, dealing with their own families at their stalls. Just two or three of them were giving him a bit of the stink eye and he avoided their gaze. He followed Geno to his stall and watched as Paul and James went to the same stall and Paul leaned in and brushed his lips against James’ before turning to head to his own stall.

The team was quiet for a second before Fleury was whistling a little and laughing at them before the guys who had been watching were chiming in and Pascal Dupuis reached over to smack Paul on the ass as he walked past him. “It’s about time you kids got your heads out of your asses and got shit together.”

“Yeah! I’m pretty sure some of you fu—guys owe me money right now!” Fleury shouted out, catching himself as he realized that a few of the guys had their kids in the room. 

“Those bets weren’t real, Flower,” Brandon Sutter argued, untying his pants and stepping out of them. Sidney revelled in how much this room felt like home, and stuck a little closer to Geno, glad that the attention did, in fact, seem to be off of them a little bit.

“What the Hell, of course they were real! I expected them to be real, so you guys owe me like a thousand bucks!”

Everyone else was just shaking their heads, and Sidney could see that Paul’s whole face was red to the tips of his ears where he was unlacing his skates, pulling them off carefully.

“You assholes bet on us?” James asked indignantly, kicking off his skates slowly and standing to organize his stall a little bit. “Not one of you thought you could clue us into _anything_? Jeez, some friends you guys are. See if I ever pay for a round ever again.”

Fleury, now mostly undressed sidled up to James’ side, throwing an arm over his shoulder. “Come on, Nealsy, chin up. You got your guy at the end of it, anyways? How did you get that head of your out of your ass anyways, eh?”

James glanced over at Sidney and Fleury’s gaze followed it, raising a brow. “Really?”

Nodding, James ducked out from under Fleury’s arm to tug his sweaty practice jersey off. “Yeah. It was Sid. He fixed us up.”

The rest of the team’s gaze turned around to face Sidney and he felt warm and uncomfortable under their gaze. He thought that under different circumstances having their attention might not be so bad, but right now it was the opposite of what he wanted.

“Did you really?” Fleury was asking him, and Sidney glanced between James and Paul who were both nodding at him and then down at Geno who was still unlacing his skates and grinning a little up at him. 

“Yeah, I guess so. I thought—it was the least I could do. I always thought they seemed like they really fit.”

Fleury snorted a little. “It was definitely the least you could do.”

James reached out and tapped Fleury on the arm, and the other man relaxed a little bit. “Oh, all right. If Nealsy and Paulie really think you’re all right then I guess it’s fine for you to see Geno but I swear if you hook up with another one of the guys on the team that’s it.”

Sidney flushed a little and crossed his arms a little defensively. “I’m not planning on doing anything like that. Geno was always—“ he cleared his throat awkwardly. That was none of their business. “Geno and I are together now, we just thought it would be better for everyone to get used to that now instead of later when everyone is trying to enjoy themselves at a team function or something like that.”

Geno nodded along with him like he’d been helping him all along. Which he hadn’t been. Sidney scowled down at him a little, but Geno just offered him one of those winning grins and Sidney found it hard to hold a grudge against him when he was like that.

“I see, well you still treat him right. We don’t want anything to happen that might hurt Geno or mess up the team.”

Sidney nodded, shifting his weight from side to side. “I’ll treat him fine, don’t worry about it.”

The guys all seemed to be fine with that, and if anything a few of them seemed to look sorry for him as they went back to what they’d been doing before the whole thing had started up. Except for Kris Letang who approached him quietly from the side. 

Sidney was a little surprised to see him, and tensed a bit in response. “Hey.”

Kris narrowed his eyes at Sidney. “I’m sure you remember what I said at the bar?”

Swallowing hard, Sidney stepped a little closer to Geno. “Yeah, I do. Look, I wasn’t planning for anything to happen. It all just kind of happened and everyone got their happy ending, right? So no harm, no foul.”

Shaking his head Kris just crossed his arms and leaned in a little so that he could speak quietly. Sidney had to listen carefully to hear him. “I saw this coming like a train wreck before it happened, but I wasn’t lying before. If you do anything to hurt Geno, this team has ways of hurting you. We can be your friends or we can be your enemies, and you really don’t want us as your enemies.”

Sidney swallowed hard and nodded. That… sounded unpleasant. He didn’t like the sound of that at all, and when he pulled back, Geno was giving him a questioning look. “Just keep that in mind for next time.”

“There won’t be a next time,” Sidney promised. And there wouldn’t be. He was perfectly happy with Geno. Settled in a way that he couldn’t explain, even with all the threats that he’d gotten that day. He was glad that things had worked out with James, too, and hoped that it meant that they were back on track to one day being friends again. Things were finally looking up for him and his life was starting to look a lot different than the one he’d mapped out for himself, but he didn’t have it in himself to think that was a bad thing.

There was just one loose end to tie up, and he was going to do that today.

Geno teased him lightly the whole way back to his house, but Sidney knew that the threats he’d received from the team had been well-meaning, and it would be easier for them to show up together for events or just to be seen together like any other pair from now on. It was worth sitting through the threats to know that they could behave just like any other pair whenever they were around the rest of the team, even if they had to be somewhat secretive the rest of the time. It meant something.

By the time they were back at Geno’s, Sidney didn’t really have that much time before he had to meet Mario for their weekly coffee, and it was actually with a bit of regret that he kissed Geno just inside the door and grabbed his keys from the table.

“You’ll come back?” Geno asked him, reaching to hold him against his body an extra couple of seconds.

“If you want me to,” Sidney answered him, head tilted up so that their lips were lingering against each other’s.

“I always want that. Could make us dinner tonight, you could have a real Russian dinner and actually eat it tonight.”

Sidney laughed a little, something nervous churning in his stomach. The last time they’d tried having dinner together had been something of a disaster and he knew they had to get over that hump in order to move to the next step in their relationship.

“Yeah. Yes. That sounds great. I’ll come back after my thing.”

Geno grinned widely, obviously approving. “Bring a change of clothes?”

Swallowing hard, he raised a brow. “A change of clothes? You want me to sleep over again? Isn’t that… moving a little quickly?”

This time Geno just shook his head and reached to push some of Sidney’s hair from his face. “Don’t think so. Just two nights. Not asking you to live with me. Just want to bask in this a little longer.”

That didn’t sound too scary. He had managed to do it for one night, he could probably manage one more. It couldn’t be that bad, and he had managed to sleep a little the night before. As long as they fucked enough to tire him out again it probably wouldn’t be a problem. And going by the look on Geno’s face that was probably where this whole thing was going.

“All right, I’ll bring clothes for tomorrow. But just one more night. I don’t want to move too quickly.”

Geno nodded, kissing him once more before finally letting go of him. “All right, just one more night. Now go before I decide I don’t want to let you go at all.”

He hummed a little before stepping back and heading out the door. He wondered if that was what his life was going to be like now. Trying to build new boundaries and figuring out how he wanted to live within them. It would be worth it if he was really building a life with Geno, he thought.

He drove quickly to meet Mario at their usual place, realizing that for the first time he wasn’t his usual five minutes early. In fact he was barely on time. He wondered what the other man was going to say about that.

Mario was seated at their usual place, waiting for him with his coffee sitting on the table, already sipping his own when Sidney made his way over to the table, his cheeks flushed. “Hey, sorry that I’m late.”

Raising a brow Mario glanced down at his watch and shook his head. “You’re not really late, Sid. You’re basically right on time.”

“Oh, well, I just mean---“

Mario cut him off. “You mean late for you. Got it. But it’s not a big deal, I haven’t been waiting for long. So what kept you? How have you been? I’ve been worried about you.”

Sidney drew in a deep breath deciding to just dive in to exactly what had happened to him. Better to air the dirty laundry right away, right?

“I was—it was pretty bad for a while there. Geno and I—he told me that he had feelings for me and then James caught the two of us together,” Mario’s brows made for his hairline and Sidney glanced away still feeling a little bit of shame at that. “So I thought that there was going to be something really great happening, but then Geno told me that we had to wait for James’ permission to be together, and I told him that I couldn’t do it, but then James came in and talked to me a couple of days later and it turned out that Geno was just about as miserable as me and I couldn’t really deal with how bad I felt and I thought—it wasn’t really worth being so miserable just because I didn’t want to wait a few days or whatever for one guys permission and James was already fine with it,” he said all of this in one breath and very quickly and Mario was just nodding along as he noted everything that Sidney was saying, but made no move to interrupt him. Sidney enjoyed the fact that Mario knew him well enough to know when he just needed to talk.

“I figured that I really liked this guy. Like more than I’ve ever liked anything before, and I had to give it a shot, even if it meant that I couldn’t always be his first choice—because his first choice has to be hockey and me of all people, I get that. I mean, I get it when I’m not right in the middle of it in the heat of the moment being freaked out over having made the decision to quit everything for him and then have him tell me that I can’t be with him—but anyways, so I decided to go there and tell him that I wanted to be with him again and… well, so we’re together.”

Mario nodded and waited for Sidney to catch his breath and finally take a sip of his coffee to know that he was finished with his initial explanation.

“I see. So you decided that you were going to go with Geno after all, eh?”

Finally Sidney just nodded. Yeah, he guessed that was what he was getting at with his whole explanation. It probably would have been easier to just say that. “Yeah, I just thought… I had to give it a chance, right?”

“You’re right. You had to give something a chance that was for sure. I’m a little surprised that you ended up with Geno but I’m glad if that’s what makes you happy. You are happy, aren’t you? I’m judging by that goofy looking smile on your face that you are.”

Sidney nodded again, grinning a little. “Yeah, I’m happy. Finally.”

Mario took another long sip of his coffee, humming. “So I’m going to guess that you’re about to tell me that you want out.”

He glanced away. He was going to lead into that, he hadn’t been planning to just come right out and say it, but yeah. He needed out.

“I just—Geno would rather I didn’t, and I didn’t realize that it would probably be better that if I were seeing someone for real that I didn’t also, you know. I didn’t actually ever think I was going to be seeing someone.”

Mario lifted a hand, stopping Sidney.

“You don’t have to explain it to me, Sid. I was about your age by the time that I was ready to step out and start really seeing Nathalie for real,” well that finally answered the question Sidney had always been too afraid to ask of whether or not Mario had ever been in the business. “It was a hard decision to make when I hadn’t really known anything but the other life before I’d met her, but sometimes when you’ve met the right person, you just have to make that decision. They don’t always want to share your attention with other people. They don’t really know how, and it’s not always fair to ask them to.”

Sidney nodded. Geno seemed like the possessive kind of guy who really didn’t like the idea of sharing Sidney with his other clients. “I’m sorry.” He felt like he was letting Mario down somehow, like if he wasn’t in the business, it would be the end of the friendship they’d built up.

Reaching across the table, Mario circled his fingers around Sidney’s wrist and shook his head. “Don’t apologize to me. I couldn’t be prouder than to have someone like you following in my footsteps. I hope you’re as happy with your Geno as I am with my Nathalie. And if anything ever happens and you need back in—well you know you just have to say. And Sidney. I hope you know that this doesn’t mean that we have to stop seeing each other every week. I’m still very interested in your life—I’m sure it’s about to get a whole lot more interesting as it is.”

Sidney laughed a little and nodded, glancing down at his coffee. “I’m sure it is.”

“We’re still friends, aren’t we?”

He glanced up immediately to meet Mario’s gaze. The other man was looking at him evenly. 

“Yes, of course! I was worried—I thought if I wasn’t still—that you wouldn’t still be interested in meeting me like this if you weren’t still helping me with getting clients.”

Mario shook his head. “We’ve been friends for a while, Sidney. I’d like to think that it was about more than just helping you with your clients.”

Sidney wondered if Mario might be the best person to ask about feeling uncomfortable having sex without the exchange of money, but he thought—well, he wasn’t sure he felt comfortable bringing that up with _anyone_. Not even this man that had been like a father to him. Not even if he’d been through much the same things as him. Maybe because of that, actually. It was something he still felt the slow burn of shame over.

“Yes, of course! Of course it’s been more than just about that. I’m glad that you still—that we can still meet. I was worried about that. So every week still?”

The idea of maintaining this routine with Mario made something settle in him that he hadn’t even known was out of whack, and Sidney was grinning a little. He felt a little better about things now. He had Geno and it seemed like James was close to ready to be his friend again, and he still had Mario and his family who weren’t going to stop being a part of his life. It seemed like he had a pretty perfect thing going. He was almost waiting for something to go wrong.

“Are you all right, Sidney?” Mario was giving him a strange look, and Sidney just swallowed hard and nodded. “I guess things just seem… almost too good to be true. I’m wondering when something is going to go wrong again.”

Mario just laughed a little and shook his head. “I don’t think you have to worry about that, Sid. I’m pretty sure you’ve had all the bad luck you’re going to have. You can relax a little and just enjoy the things that are going to happen. I promise you should be in for a bit of a good spell now.”

Sidney wasn’t sure how that could be entirely true. There were still some things that had to work themselves out. Like how he couldn’t sleep with Geno without the exchange of money, and how James didn’t know that he’d been Geno’s hooker the whole time they’d been together—things that would probably have to be resolved before things could be truly perfect. But for now Mario was probably right, maybe it was time he gave himself a bit of a break and just enjoyed himself.

Not everything had to be a big production. Sometimes things could just be good and he had to learn to accept that. That was part of just living. He really wanted to accept that.

“You’re right. I’m sure everything will work itself out.”

Mario squeezed his wrist one more time before pulling his hand back and sipping his coffee again. “And it doesn’t have to actually be perfect to be good, Sid. It doesn’t have to be one or the other. It can just be good and that’s okay, too. Don’t pressure yourself to make it perfect. I’m sure Geno will understand.”

Sidney nodded again and let out a deep breath. He just had to think about the immediate future. Tonight he was going to have dinner with Geno and they were going to enjoy a night together and he was really just going to be like every other guy who was having a date night with their partner. It was about enjoying each moment as it came and not freaking about the distant future. Sure they’d have to eventually tell some people the truth.

Maybe just James. Maybe one day he’d deserve to know the truth, because it wouldn’t be fair to ask his partner to keep it from him forever, but they would deal with it when it came to that.

For now, Sidney was just going to deal with this new life he was building for himself, just being a regular guy with a regular job and a slightly irregular life partner.

It was his happy ending.


End file.
